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Beyond - Legends Silly drabble #28- It's a Guy Thing - Jag, Zekk, Han

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LexiLupin, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. Mondra

    Mondra Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 12, 2010
    Who would have thought that our favorite scoundrel smuggler won't let his daughter have a little bit of fun? I loved they way the situation changed for Jag - he went form being the overprotective father to a scolded boy in a matter of seconds :D. And I can imagine Luke "trying" to calm Han down while trying not to laugh. That was fantastic! Thank you!

    SITH_MAYO Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 3, 2005
    Sorry I'm late.
    Really enjoyed this last post 23#.
    The way you changed the tables on Jag was brilliant. :p Felt sorry for Jag. Liked how Jaina was being the naughty one and sounded like a mischievous teenage when she noticed her own father getting annoyed at the sight of her and Jag! But I must admit I was very childish and laughed at the words Emperor?s Balls'!!![face_laugh] I am so immature.. Oh well. Liked this! Thanks for PM. ;) Cheers!
  3. LexiLupin

    LexiLupin Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 27, 2011
    A/N: Hey all- just a silly little viggie that I've been meaning to jot for a while now- enjoy!

    Setting: YJK-era, flexible

    #24- Son of a Sith
    “And so,” Jedi Master Luke Skywalker concluded, apparently oblivious to the looks ranging from disinterest to skeptical incredulity which his students were mostly failing to hide, “the new rules regarding improper language will be instated immediately. This academy is a place of learning, a place for positive reinforcement. Let’s make sure we show it in all facets of our day-to-day activities; there are more productive ways of venting frustration than by using… uncouth words and phrases.” He smiled serenely around the audience chamber. “Questions?”

    A hand shot up and Luke nodded towards a young Gran student in the second row. “So we can’t call one-another ‘barve’ or ‘barvy’?”

    Lips quirking slightly, Luke shook his head. “I would prefer that you do not; as would your classmates, I imagine.” There was a smattering of light chuckling from the students who were still tuned-in to the lecture, save from Tenel Ka, who was paying keen attention but, as usual, betrayed no emotions in her facial expressions.

    “What about ‘chizk’?” someone else called out.

    “Do you even know what that means?” the Master asked kindly.

    The student shook his tentacled head. “No, but my father used to say it and-”

    “If you don’t know what it means,” Luke interrupted, “then just assume that it’s not good.”

    The Quarren looked grudgingly accepting of that rule.

    “So no ‘skrags,’ ‘shavits,’ or ‘shunfas,’” Luke reiterated. “And no ‘choobies’ either.” The laughter from the older students was poorly suppressed that time, and even Tionne, standing to the side and waiting patiently for the mini-lecture to end so she could proceed with her lesson, had to fight to contain her smile.

    There was one last question from the crowd. “What about ‘son of a Sith’?” a young Twi’lek called out. “It’s not exactly a bad phrase…”

    Luke scowled, the patient smile dropping quickly from his face. “No,” he said blandly. “Absolutely none of that.”


    When Luke returned to his quarters two hours later after a lightsaber-construction lesson with the older up and coming apprentices, it was to the pleasant surprise of his wife waiting for him, newly arrived from her latest adventures with which Luke struggled to keep up. Nevertheless, he beamed and embraced her tightly, looking her up and down and deciding that she certainly looked as good as ever. “Welcome back, Mara.”

    “Hey yourself, Farmboy.” His eyes sparkled at the longtime nickname, and she grinned cockily at him. “So I’m still allowed to call you ‘Farmboy,’ Farmboy?”

    His smile widened slightly. “And who have you been talking to?”

    “Oh,” she sat on the bed and leaned back, propping herself on her elbows and watching him as he doffed his heavy outer-robe, “Jacen and Jaina saw me land and came by for a little while to chat. Sounds like you gave a riveting speech today- what inspired that?”

    He shrugged. “Just trying to make sure that we’re all enjoying a positive learning environment, is all.”

    “Uh-huh,” her brow rose skeptically, but she dropped the subject and devoted her attentions to more pressing concerns- after all, husband and wife had not seen one another in nearly three months.


    As soon as Mara awoke, she knew she’d slept too late. “Kriff,” she groaned, trying to roll over and finding herself pinned by a heavy arm. “Skywalker, move.” He grumbled a bit and extracted his limbs from hers, giving her room to sit up and look for her chrono. “Shavit, what time is it… I was supposed to contract Karrde… ah, son of a Sith,” she swore… and then felt a flash of irritation from her husband.

    Seriously? Her brows rose as she turned to meet his mildly pink face, as he realized she’d picked up on his chagrin. “Am I subject to your academy language rules too, Farmboy?”


    “Because it didn’t seem to bother you last night when we were-”

    “It’s fine,” he hastily assured her. “Really.”

    “Then what was the…?” she trailed off and turned her head to the side, regarding him curiously a moment… and then burst out laughing. “Seriously, Skywalker? Seriously?”


    Tears of mirth were starting to fall down her cheeks. “You went through all that just to get people to stop saying ‘son of a Sith’?” she demanded.

    “Well it’s hardly unreasonable, Mara,” he scowled. “It’s offensive- I am the son of a Sith!”
  4. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] - Lexi!

    Squee! for the wedded state of L/M during the YJK era. [face_dancing]

    And SQUEE! for the way they celebrated [face_mischief] being back together after 3 whole long months!



  5. Briannakin

    Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 25, 2010
    Oh Lexi [face_laugh] That was hilarious. Lol! So totally in character for them both :)
  6. LoriLynn

    LoriLynn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 13, 2011
    I feel like we've had this conversation before...[face_thinking]

    ..oh wait. We have!! :p

    Absolutely hilarious! Loved it! [:D]
  7. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Force Ghost star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    Only a son of Sith should be able to use that term. Lol! Very nice.
  8. LoriLynn

    LoriLynn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 13, 2011
    I hadn't picked up on that one. I'm so disappointed in myself and my 'sense of humor of a 12 year old boy! :p
  9. Book-Geek

    Book-Geek Jedi Knight star 3

    May 28, 2011
    Awww! Poor Lukie! I always wondered about that... Mara, stop laughing at the poor guy and hug him. Or I will.[face_mischief] Oh, wait, never mind. I'm not brave enough to lay a hand on Mara's man.
  10. Mondra

    Mondra Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 12, 2010
    *snicker, snicker, snicer*. Luke is so cute - instead of just telling everybody to stop saying that he has to ban all curse words... I enjoyed reading that very much; I'm waiting for the next installment! :D
  11. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    love the lessons and 'son of a Sith' yup Luke is[face_laugh]

    Excellent characterisation
  12. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 9, 2010
    [face_laugh] Funny and it sounds just like something Luke would do.
  13. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    May 25, 2005
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Very cute. Mara's going to be constantly in detention with Luke. [face_mischief]
  14. Iverna

    Iverna Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 20, 2008
    Haha, poor Luke. :p But that's so typical!

    Great banter between him and Mara. And I liked Luke's speech, too, and everyone's reaction to it. You have a real gift for making these things feel real!
  15. dm1

    dm1 Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 9, 2004
    I knew it, he was going through that whole thing just to avoid that one phrase, because he is in that category. Not exactly a bad phrase, indeed! It only refers to their Grand Master...

    Loved it, and Mara's curses really spiced things up, she really had a bad morning. Leave it to her to use that particular phrase, on top of everything else!
  16. pinkpearl89

    pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight star 2

    Jun 9, 2010
    Sorry I'm late! But this was adorable in an odd way. I can totally see Luke banning all curses rather than just telling people that he was particularly hurt by the phrase "son of a sith." You did bring up something I've always wondered about though -- Jaina, at least doesn't seem to have any issue using that phrase (I can't think of any other characters at the moment) and you'd think the whole family would be sensitive to it.

    Ah well, maybe Luke is just more sensitive and cuddly than I previously thought :p Cute drabble, I'm sure Mara will make him feel better!

    SITH_MAYO Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 3, 2005
    Haha![face_laugh] Luke is too sensitive.
    Nice little fic!
    Can't wait for next one!:)
  18. CurtisZidaneZiraa

    CurtisZidaneZiraa Jedi Padawan star 1

    Nov 18, 2010
    Going through your "series" and read the drabbles. These are soooo funny! The series is good too.
  19. LexiLupin

    LexiLupin Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 27, 2011
    A/N: NOTE! that this is a companion piece to #17, The War of Art. You don't have to read that one first, but you'll probably appreciate this one more if you do.
    As before with my Thrawn and Pellaeon drabble, silliness and ridiculousness strike again- do enjoy: :D

    #25- The Art of War
    (companion piece to #17- The War of Art)
    30 ABY - Bastion


    Gilad Pellaeon’s aide trotted up to him midway through a stroll in his private garden, and the admiral sighed resignedly. Even at a time of relative peace, while the galaxy was still recovering from the traumas of the Yuuzhan Vong invasion, he still seemed unable to find five minutes at a time for himself. “Yes, Lieutenant?”

    “There’s, ah… there’s someone here to see you, sir.”

    “Might you be a trifle more specific?”

    The junior officer swallowed audibly. “Ah, yes, Admiral. He’s a Chiss…”

    “Oh,” Pellaeon glanced at his pocket chrono and shrugged easily. “He’s early, then. No matter, I’m free now and I don’t fancy any delegation from the Ascendancy likes to be kept waiting. Escort him to my office, would you?”

    His aide looked like he wanted to say something else, but before Pellaeon could ask, he nodded quickly and hurried off. The admiral stared after him in mild bemusement for a moment before turning and heading down a different path, taking the fastest route to his office.

    As he walked, he contemplated the dull monotony of life in a time without war. It was certainly preferable to the constant struggle and strife which the Empire had known only too well in recent decades; nevertheless, handling these diplomatic matters had never been his favorite task, but Chiss sensitivities left him hesitant to place his trust in any of the Moffs. They, in turn, seemed to think he had some mystical abilities at understanding that suspicious and, quite frankly, xenophobic people, due to his time under the command of-

    “Grand Admiral Thrawn!”

    He stopped, slack-jawed, in the doorway of his office, staring at the Chiss sitting in his chair, and wondering if he’d finally gone senile or simply insane.

    “Admiral Pellaeon,” the all-too-familiar smooth and cultured voice responded, gesturing to the empty seats on the opposite side of the desk. The seats for visitors. “Have a seat. My apologies for the sudden intrusion.”


    “Sit, Admiral. Please.” Pellaeon did so, motions mechanical, droid-like, wondering if it was more worthwhile to summon assistance now and risk being considered crazy and unfit for duty, or to simply let the hallucination pass. “You are not hallucinating, Gilad,” the Thrawn-specter said, lips quirked in dry amusement.

    So the ghost could read his mind. Touché, insanity. Touché.

    Then again… the Imperial Navy and a number of Moffs had been tricked once into thinking Thrawn had returned, even though Pellaeon had insisted countless times that he had watched him die before his very eyes.

    “Nor am I an imposter. You did see me perish at the hands of Rukh, more than twenty years ago now.”

    Sweet ever-loving Force…

    “I am a clone, Gilad.”

    Oh. Wait, he didn’t think that before the Thrawn-ghost said it. Was it… possible?

    “A… clone?” he queried carefully. Thrawn inclined his head once, slowly. “Where have you been?”

    “Assisting the first line of defense in the war effort among the Empire of the Hand and the Ascendancy. It is not important.”

    “Sounds pretty important,” he muttered, torn between still contemplating his own sanity and being mildly bitter that Thrawn hadn’t returned to help him in the war effort.

    “What was that?”

    “Nothing. Sir.” He swallowed heavily. “What can I do for you?”

    The Chiss looked as delighted as any Chiss ever looked that he’d asked. “As a matter of fact, I came to inquire about my art collection.”

    That stopped him short, though he supposed he had no place to be surprised, considering the Grand Admiral’s eccentricities all those years ago. “It’s… mostly in a museum, here in the Imperial Palace…” he responded cautiously.

    “Mostly?” Thrawn returned mildly.

    “Well… over the years, some pieces have been loaned out to other exhibits, a few regrettably destroyed or missing in the chaos of near-constant war…”

    “And Killik Twilight?”

    Pellaeon’s eyes widened fractionally, and he willed the panic not to set in. “I, ah… don’t have it anymore.”

    “Oh? Destroyed?”

    It was so tempting to lie and say that it had been… but Grand Admiral Thrawn had always had the uncanny ability to read such things in others’ faces and voices…

    “I gave it away.”

    A steady silence descended between them, Thrawn’s purple lips pursed lightly. “You gave it away.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “My fifteen million credit painting.”

    Pellaeon smiled weakly. “Technically, it isn’t painting at all… sir.” Thrawn stared at him, expression unreadable. “As I understand it, one designs a moss painting…” Still, the Chiss said nothing, and the admiral finally sighed and gave up, resigning himself to the slow and painful death that was sure to follow. “I gave it to Leia Organa Solo last year. It used to hang in the Royal Palace on Alderaan.”

    “Leia Solo.” Pellaeon nodded. “Admiral, do you remember the days you spent in command of the Chimaera twenty-two years ago, while I ventured personally onto the utterly forsaken planet of Tatooine to acquire that painting.”

    “I do, sir.”

    “I wonder if you remember from whom I was acquiring it?”

    He winced. “As I recall, it was, in fact, Leia Solo.”

    “Hm.” Thrawn fell into a contemplative silence that lasted about a minute this time. Then he straightened, a new sense of resolve to his bearing. “It won’t be a problem.”


    “Of course not. I’ll simply get it back.”

    Pellaeon frowned. “How, sir?”

    “Intelligence suggests that the Solos have not made a permanent residence yet and are, in fact, on assorted missions for Chief of State Omas in the interests of refugee resettlement.”

    “How could you know that?”

    “Why, I just looked it up,” he pointed at the computer console in the left corner of Pellaeon’s desk.

    He scowled. “So you already knew when you walked in here that I didn’t have it.”

    Thrawn shook off the question. “As I said, it is no matter. We’ll simply ambush the Millennium Falcon at their next designated assignment and-”

    “Ambush!” Pellaeon cut him off, alarmed. “Admiral, we’re allies now. I gave her the painting.” Thrawn stared blankly. “You can’t just hunt them down, we’re at peace. You’ll start a galactic incident.”

    “You’re saying I can’t have Killik Twilight back, Gilad?”

    Inwardly cringing, he set his resolve and met the glowing eyes carefully. “I’m afraid so, sir.”

    “Hm.” He sighed wistfully. “I am displeased, Admiral Pellaeon. Most displeased.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “I am going to go visit what works you haven’t squandered in my absence.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    Pellaeon watched him go, still not entirely positive that he hadn’t hallucinated the whole thing. It seemed unlikely though- he didn’t think his mind could ever formulate such a bizarre encounter. If anyone was unbalanced, it was probably the Chiss who had just left his office. They always did say that clones were a little crazy.

    Or maybe it was just Thrawn.
  20. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Very nice "sequel" and fun to see pellaeon so flummoxed [face_laugh]

    And Thrawn so himself

  21. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Force Ghost star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    I never really understood the official standing of clones. I mean if your uncle dies and you inherit a million dollars and then the clone of your uncle walks through the door and says, "I'm your Uncle's you need to give me my money back" I am sure you would run into some problems. I would probably scream and shoot him dead saying "AARRGGGHHH!!! ZOMBIE!!"

    Nice story!
  22. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Fun with those two.

    They are such lovely adversaries
  23. Book-Geek

    Book-Geek Jedi Knight star 3

    May 28, 2011
    Poor, poor Pellaeon. [face_laugh] Thrawn sounds seriously ticked. I do pity him so.
  24. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 9, 2010

    I love these two!
  25. pinkpearl89

    pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight star 2

    Jun 9, 2010
    So the ghost could read his mind. Touché, insanity. Touché.

    I actually laughed out loud at that one :p Great follow-up Lexi!