Beyond - Legends Silly drabble #28- It's a Guy Thing - Jag, Zekk, Han

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LexiLupin, Jul 2, 2011.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    If Thrawn ever wants a career change, [face_laugh] he can always become a tour guide at a museum of art. [face_mischief]

    @};-

  2. Book-Geek Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3

    Well, this IS Thrawn we're talking about...

    Poor, poor Pellaeon. [face_laugh]
  3. pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2010
    star 2
    I give you a lot of credit for making someone as dry as Thrawn usually is into a funny character =D=

    ?Oh. It?s very??

    ?Brilliantly conceived??

    ??small.?


    [face_laugh] Well, you say tomatoe, I say tomato, I guess...

    ?Commander,? he hissed urgently, ?hurry, you still have time to-?

    Well, he was a good enough man to try to save his comrade [face_laugh]:p

    He did so, keenly aware of the smugly knowing look in the Admiral?s glowing red eyes the entire time.


    Nobody fools Thrawn. Not even you, Pelleaon

    ?Now,? Thrawn clapped his hands together. ?Let?s recap for the Commander, shall we?

    That was punishment for trying to get out of it [face_shame_on_you]

    Hilarious, Lexi! Update soon [:D]
  4. Chilla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Ahhh, so sorry! I realized that I almost never comment on your stories, although I read and enjoy every one! So finally a comment here. Might have something to do with me being a huge Thrawn fan.... [face_blush]

    He tilted his head sideways, wondering if the masterpiece of it would come through from a different angle; it didn?t.

    I'm sure Thrawn is disappointed. "I find your lack of appreciation disturbing!" :p It's insanely funny, though.

    Thrawn sighed lovingly in a way that Gilad Pellaeon hoped to never again hear from the supreme commander of the Imperial Navy.

    Rofl! [face_laugh] Thrawn sighing "lovingly"? [face_laugh]

    Give or take?

    Considering the Squibs...Thrawn probably put it nicely. No wonder he had his clones speed-learn their training - he couldn't afford longer training because he'd just spent half of his budget on a piece of art. :p

    ?You can?t put a price on art, Captain.? Hadn?t he just done that?

    [face_laugh] Pellaeon's reaction is hilarious!

    ?Oh. It?s very??

    ?Brilliantly conceived??

    ??small.?


    Lol again! But he does have a point. "Killik Twilight" is very small.

    ?Captain, there is no correlation between size and greatness in the realm of art.?


    Thrawn would get along nicely with Yoda. "Size matters not!" :p

    Forty-five minutes later, a blessing in the form of an in-person message from Commander Seyif interrupted Thrawn?s musings on Ob Khaddor, moss painting in general, and, the relevance of which Pellaeon was still trying to comprehend, fine Alderaanian cuisine.


    Sounds like one of my Religion classes, when I was still in High School. Jeanne D'arc and an oil leak close to Alaska... no clue how we managed to get from the one topic to the other.

    ?Ah! Commander Seyif- do come in. I was just showing Captain Pellaeon my fine acquisition and giving him a little valuable history of the piece.?

    And he has found another victim! :D

    ?I- excuse me, Admiral, I was just saying that, as Commander Seyif is here, there is no senior officer on the bridge. Perhaps I should?? he gestured over his shoulder.

    Nice try. But resistance is futile!

    Seyif shot him a look of betrayal. Thrawn looked thoughtful. ?Right you are, Captain. Why don?t you go ahead-?

    ?Yes?? he asked hopefully.

    ?-and comm Commander Tre?pin and have him report early for duty.?


    [face_laugh]

    ?Alderaanian moss painting was pioneered by Ob Khaddor, and it is not painting at all; in fact, the proper terminology is that one designs a moss painting. Because it is an organic art form, it must be kept in a constant state of semi-moisture, and a small humidifying device on the back accomplishes this quite effectively. When Ob Khaddor first perfected the method??

    I can see Thrawn sending out a memo to his senior officers, educating them about the value of Alderanian Moss Paintings.... *snickers*

    [face_dancing] That was lots of fun!
  5. Etain Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2008
    star 3
    Thrawn sighed lovingly in a way that Gilad Pellaeon hoped to never again hear from the supreme commander of the Imperial Navy.

    I'll listen to it again. Can I be a painting, please? [face_batting]



    ?Oh. It?s very??

    ?Brilliantly conceived??

    ??small.?



    My fave bit of this. Yah, size matter not. [face_laugh]
    Great bit. I can see Thrawn taking some time to torture his senior officers. To their own best, of course. =D=

  6. SITH_MAYO Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2005
    star 4
    Thrawn should have chosen a different creative art career lol.
    Very funny!:p

    S_M
  7. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Keeping you occupied Pellaeon[face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Hilarious
  8. LexiLupin Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2011
    star 4
    Briannakin- no, that doesn't sound like a wise trip for teenagers at all, haha!

    Hazel- the cruelest form of Imperial torture yet devised! Muahaha...

    Jade_eyes- I do have to wonder whether Thrawn ever considered a career change... :-D

    Book-Geek- Poor Pellaeon indeed! :p

    pinkpearl89- I've having a lot of fun playing with Thrawn in fanfic jottings lately- the dryness is definitely lacking in Outbound Flight, it's quite intrigued me to look at the different portrayals at his different stages of life.

    Chilla- "I find your lack of appreciation disturbing!" - this made me laugh quite a bit. :-D And I have to say, I sort of LOVE the idea of Thrawn sending out art memos periodically... maybe quizzing them later on what they learned... muahaha.

    Etain- Perhaps I'll have some more Thrawn-loving-sighs for you later. ;-)

    SITH_MAYO- I think the New Republic, for one, would agree with your assessment. Tehe.

    Earlybird-obi-wan- Somehow, I think Pellaeon doesn't feel the occupation was necessary. :-D

    Thanks to all for reading and for commenting! Onwards!


    A response to the Proverbs challenge- 50. A tale never loses in the telling. English proverb, mid 16th century- Han Solo


    #18- Misfire

    Han sighed, eyes distant and reminiscent, as he sat on the sofa with his six-year-old granddaughter Allana. Her eyes were wide, rapt with attention, as he regaled her with tales of his wilder days, the days before he married her grandmother, the days of the dark and evil Empire- not the less-dark and less-evil Empire that ‘uncle’ Jag oversaw, he assured her after a terrifying moment in which her eyes had welled up and her lower lip trembled.

    “So this crazy old man and naïve young farmboy offered to pay us a bunch of money to get them quietly to Alderaan so that they could help defeat the dark and ev- darker and eviler Empire by getting the Death Star plans to the Rebellion.” He glanced up as Threepio came in the room with a tray. “Thanks, Goldenrod,” he said off-handed. “So anyway, we got into orbit above Tatooine, and found ourselves face-to-face with six Star Destroyers,” her eyes widened, “and it was up to me and trusty Chewie to-”

    “I’m sorry, sir,” Threepio put in, “but I believe your circuits are misfiring. As I recall, there were only two Star Destroyers.”

    Han stared dully at the droid for a long moment, jaw working in frustration, before turning and forcing a smile for Allana again. “Allana, you know how big the Falcon is, right?” She nodded. “And you know how big a Star Destroyer is? Do you think outrunning even two Star Destroyers is an easy feat for a small freighter like the Falcon?”

    “Of course,” she smiled bemusedly. “If youre flying, grandpa.”

    “That’s my girl,” Han smirked lightly and ruffled her dyed black hair. “So we made it past the… two… Star Destroyers and jumped to lightspeed. But when we reached the system, Alderaan was gone and we had a whole hoard of TIE fighters on our tail, chasing us towards the Death Star, and-”

    “But sir, there was only one TIE fighter, and you thought the Death Star was a small moon and continued flying towards it most unwisely even when Master Kenobi told you it was a space station.”

    The silence was longer that time, a vein pulsing most alarmingly in Han’s neck. “Thank you, Goldenrod. Allana, sweetie, if you saw something the size and shape of a small moon, what would you assume said thing to be?”

    “A small moon, I suppose,” she responded sweetly.

    “Of course you would,” he winked at her. “Because you’re a smart girl. Anyway, we were pulled aboard the fearsome space station, and had to sneak our way through all sorts of stormtroopers and traps, and eventually fought our way to the detention level where-”

    “But sir, you and Master Luke simply walked onto the detention level after you stole-”

    Han reached up and flipped the switch on the back of Threepio’s neck; his optical receptors immediately went dark and blank, and his body slumped slightly where he stood. With a look of immense satisfaction on his face, Han turned back to Allana. “Let me tell you about rescuing the princess.”

    She blinked up at him with wide, excited eyes. “Is this the part where you two yelled at each other and you threatened to put her back in her cell, and told her you were only doing it for money?”

    His jaw dropped in horror. “But- how could you…?” Scowling, he raised his voice and shouted across the apartment, “Leia!”
    Last edited by LexiLupin, Oct 9, 2012
  9. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Hillarious! Say what you want about FOTJ and the Solo's part in the plot, BUUT! I love seeing Han and Leia as grandparents!

    I love fics like this that really showcase HL as grandparents. For a few years, I was raised by my mother's parents and those were some amazing years (my grandpa reminds me of Han in the way that he is the most stubbornest person in the world, and my grandma is kinda like Leia in the way that she has been the only person, besides me and my cousins, able to put up with him).

    I think I am going to go read this again and wonder just how many times my grandfather exaggerated the truth in those stories of his.
  10. SilSolo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 5
    lol that last drabble soo funny
  11. Hazel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Poor Threepio was just trying to be helpful. :oops:

  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Han's story version is rather [[ embellished ;)

    [face_laugh]

    @};-

  13. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Love this storytelling of Han and with Treepio's remarks.

    Grandparents are great in exaggerated storytelling leading to kids wanting the same exciting jobs (my granddad was a firefighter and I became one:))
  14. Chilla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    ....the days of the dark and evil Empire- not the less-dark and less-evil Empire that ?uncle? Jag oversaw, he assured her after a terrifying moment in which her eyes had welled up and her lower lip trembled.

    [face_laugh] I imagine that this must be quite confusing for little Allana. Empire? Evil?
    Awww to the "uncle Jag" part and how Allana can manipulate Han just by tearing up. [face_laugh]

    ?So this crazy old man and naïve young farmboy offered to pay us a bunch of money to get them quietly to Alderaan so that they could help defeat the dark and ev- darker and eviler Empire by getting the Death Star plans to the Rebellion.?


    [face_laugh] Loved how he had to correct himself all the time. Eviler Empire... :p

    ?I?m sorry, sir,? Threepio put in, ?but I believe your circuits are misfiring. As I recall, there were only two Star Destroyers.?


    [face_laugh] Well, that sure is going to make Han like "Goldenrod" a lot more...

    "Do you think outrunning even two Star Destroyers is an easy feat for a small freighter like the Falcon??

    ?Of course,? she smiled bemusedly. ?If you?re flying, grandpa.?


    Awww! [face_love] Complete faith in her Grandpa!

    ?But sir, there was only one TIE fighter, and you thought the Death Star was a small moon and continued flying towards it most unwisely even when Master Kenobi told you it was a space station.?

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] This is so prizeless! I love how C-3PO is contradicting everything (rightly so).

    The silence was longer that time, a vein pulsing most alarmingly in Han?s neck.

    Love the description of Han losing his calm.

    ?Thank you, Goldenrod. Allana, sweetie, if you saw something the size and shape of a small moon, what would you assume said thing to be??

    ?A small moon, I suppose,? she responded sweetly.


    I'm getting the feeling she knows exactly what her Grandpa wants to hear.

    She blinked up at him with wide, excited eyes. ?Is this the part where you two yelled at each other and you threatened to put her back in her cell, and told her you were only doing it for the money??

    [face_laugh] Somehow I have the feeling that Han wasn't going to say it that way....

    His jaw dropped in horror. ?But- how could you??? Scowling, he raised his voice and shouted across the apartment, ?Leia!?

    [face_laugh]

    I had so much fun reading this! I can picture Han telling Allana some insanely exaggerated stories.... =D= Great job!
  15. MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2008
    star 4
    Very nicely done. Never had a drabble entry but I say, the more the better. :D
  16. Iverna Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 20, 2008
    star 4
    Ohhh, poor Pellaeon. I wouldn't want to be stuck listening to Thrawn go on, either, if I was a military officer! (As it is, I'm an artist, and I think it'd be interesting... but yeah.) Love that scene!

    And Han with Allana is hilarious! Embellishing shamelessly and shutting Threepio down when he tries to correct him... yep, that's Han. I'm not following canon these days, so I love fics like this that show H/L as grandparents. So adorable. Allana's confidence in Han is so cute as well. Brilliant little moment!
  17. Book-Geek Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Haha, Leia beat him to the punch on this story!

    Loved Han exaggerating the story for Allana. He's just trying to impress the kid.

  18. pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2010
    star 2
    Another hilarious drabble Lexi!

    the days of the dark and evil Empire- not the less-dark and less-evil Empire that ?uncle? Jag oversaw, he assured her after a terrifying moment in which her eyes had welled up and her lower lip trembled

    [face_laugh] Han better decide that he likes Jag quick, because now that Allana's on Jag's side there's nothing Han can do about it. Also, loved seeing Han's one true weakness -- Solo women :p

    I would quote the Threepio stuff, but then I'd end up just quoting the entire section, lol. The point is, I loved it! Poor Threepio never gets enough credit for trying to be helpful. And I agree with Chilla, little Allana knows exactly what her grandpa wants to hear [face_liarliar]

    She blinked up at him with wide, excited eyes. ?Is this the part where you two yelled at each other and you threatened to put her back in her cell, and told her you were only doing it for the money??

    His jaw dropped in horror. ?But- how could you??? Scowling, he raised his voice and shouted across the apartment, ?Leia!?


    The best part about all that? Threepio wasn't there to witness that in ANH and couldn't have helpfully corrected him [face_laugh]:_|[face_laugh] (that's supposed to be a 'laughing so hard I'm crying' face, lol)

    Great update! [face_dancing]
  19. TrakNar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    That one made me laugh. And I don't mean simply chuckle, it made me full-on wheezing asthmatic Muttley laugh out loud. The banter between Han and Threepio was gold.
  20. SITH_MAYO Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2005
    star 4
    ?Let me tell you about rescuing the princess.?

    She blinked up at him with wide, excited eyes. ?Is this the part where you two yelled at each other and you threatened to put her back in her cell, and told her you were only doing it for the money??

    His jaw dropped in horror. ?But- how could you??? Scowling, he raised his voice and shouted across the apartment, ?Leia!?


    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]Soooooo good!
    Trust Leia to tell the truthful version.. :p

    Brill update. Thanks for the PM!:)

    S_M
  21. LexiLupin Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2011
    star 4
    Eek... I've been without a new drabble for two weeks! Guess I've been distracted by my fic with Lori- bad Lori! :p

    Thanks to everyone for your nice comments on the last story. :D

    I'm going back to basics a bit on this one, I think those of you who have been reading my silly drabbles from the start will understand what I mean...


    #19- Malfunction

    “Kyp, I don’t understand what the big deal is.”

    “It’s embarrassing.”

    “Why?”

    “Because… people will think I’m getting old, losing my touch…”

    Jaina rolled her eyes. “You have got to be joking. It’s just a little… malfunction.”

    He scowled. “It doesn’t seem so little to me.”

    “It happens to everyone at some point.”

    “Has it happened to Zekk?” he bit, glaring around the half of the room that he was temporarily sharing with the younger Jedi during the mission.

    It was Jaina’s turn to scowl. “How should I know?”

    “Has it happened to Jag?” he narrowed his eyes.

    Jaina blinked. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course not.”

    Before he could formulate a suitably snarky response, the door slid open and Zekk stepped in, face sweaty, outer robe thrown over his shoulder. He took in Kyp’s glare and Jaina’s exasperation, and cocked a brow. “Interrupting something?”

    Jaina tried to respond delicately. “Kyp’s just having a, ah… lightsaber… malfunction.”

    “Oh,” Zekk started and reached into his pocket as Kyp spluttered in protest, “here.” He tossed a case at the Jedi Master.

    “What’s this?” Kyp frowned.

    “Replacement power cell; mine was dead and I took yours. I promised Valin I’d spar with him, can you imagine how embarrassing it would have been to show up with a malfunctioning lightsaber? He’d have thought I was getting old; losing my touch.” Kyp’s jaw worked in frustration but he bit his tongue. “Anyway, I need a sanisteam, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

    Once he’d disappeared into the refresher, Kyp turned bemusedly back to Jaina. “Huh,” he murmured, reaching out a hand and summoning his lightsaber. He experimentally depressed the power button and shrugged when nothing happened. “I guess it’s a good thing no one attacked us today.

    “I didn’t even know it was dead.”
    Last edited by LexiLupin, Oct 9, 2012
  22. LoriLynn Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2011
    star 1
    Wait....am I sensing a bit of underlying J/K naughtiness here? Cuz you know I wholly approve! =D=

    Also, that's got to be one comfortable relationship they've got going if Kyp would ask her about her ex's...umm...lightsaber abilities. [face_blush]
  23. LoriLynn Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2011
    star 1
    HEY!!!! Yeah....I guess I am a bad influence. I'm alright with that! :cool:
  24. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Oh Lexi Lexi Lexi!

    You do not want to know what I thought was malfunctioning [face_laugh]

    Especially after a recent update in "Beyond Memories" full of entendres about holding a lightsaber [face_laugh] [face_mischief]

    Kyp will never lose his touch - not in any department LOL

    =P~

    [:D] !!!!!!
  25. pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2010
    star 2


    ?Has it happened to Zekk?? he bit, glaring around the half of the room that he was temporarily sharing with the younger Jedi during the mission.

    It was Jaina?s turn to scowl. ?How should I know??


    Thank god! The thought of those two having anything serious is just annoying

    ?Has it happened to Jag?? he narrowed his eyes.

    Jaina blinked. ?Don?t be ridiculous, of course not.?


    That's right! =D=:p



    I really wanted to fit this into a J/J world until those last couple lines, lol. Although, from the lack of embarrassment when Zekk came into the room, I get the feeling they were fully dressed, which begs the question of what they were actually doing...
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade