FF:NSW Simpsons Quote-A-Thon

Willie: Boy, you read my thoughts! You've got the 'Shinning'!"
Bart: "Don't you mean 'Shining'?"
Willie: "Shhh! You wanna get sued? Now look, boy. If your Da goes ga-ga, you just use that 'shinning' of yours to call me and I'll come a-runnin'. But don't be readin' my mind between four and five. That's Willie's time!"

 

Homer: "Cant kill now, eating"

 

Chief Wiggum: Do not be alarmed! Continue swimming naked! Ah c'mon......continue.....ah cmon....aww....Open fire Lou...

 

Marge: Homer, I've got someone here who can help you!
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

 

FBI Agent: Now Mr. Simpson, when i tap on your foot, snap my fingers and say, Hello Mr. Thomson, nod and smile
Homer: Got it
Agent taps foot snaps fingers and says"Hello Mr. Thomson"
Homer: (Looks around then leans over to other agent) I think he's talking to you.

 

Homer: Just a minute Marge, some wise-guy put a cork in this bottle.

 

Movementarian: Would you like to come on one of our Free retreats this weekend?
Homer: When is this free weekend?
Movementarian: It's this weekend.
Homer: And how much does this free weekend cost?
Movementarian: It's free.
Homer: Uh-huh. And when is this free weekend?

 

Frink: As u can see, when the alarm is tripped, the house raises up onto its legs and runs down the street to safety...(model stands and walks off, then falls and burns, toy people fall out, also on fire)...Well the um....the real people wont burn...wont burn quite so fast there....bwa hoi!

 

Homer: Why don't you take a picture! It'll last longer!
*flashes all around stadium*
Marge: It did have to be camera day...

 

Lisa: Dad! You can't judge a place you've never been to!
Bart: Yeah! That's what they do in Russia!

 

Ralph: Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

 

Religious guy: Have you heard of the Krishna?
Homer: This, Bart, is a crazy man.

 

Homer: (stuck in a tar pit) No, it's alright, I'll just use my hands to pull out my feet. (hands stuck) now i'll just pull my hands out with my face. (sinks)

 

Homer: And the man told us not to press it, but we pressed it! So me & my friend ran, and ran and that's where we met my other friend, and we had so much fun...
Marge: Okay, lets get some beer in you, then off to bed.

 

Homer: Maybe he?s just acting stupid to infiltrate a gang of international idiots!!

 

Homer: You know how the saying goes. "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts"....how does the rest of that saying go?

 

Homer: (Covering the bulky device with his shirt) Does this thing make me look fat?
Lisa: No, it makes you look like a tool of government oppression.
Homer: - but not fat?

 

(Homer straps on a bugging device to his belly)
Lisa: The government has no right to use you in this way!
Homer: Quiet honey, you have no idea how big this government is...it goes all the way up to the President!

 

Mr. Burns: Ok, Senior Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Steven Spielberg did for Oscar Schindler.
Spielbergo: Si, mais senior Schindler est Nazr. Senior Burns est diablo.

 

WIGGUM: Okay folks, show's over nothing to see here, show's...OH MY GOD!!! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody get a load of this flaming wreckage! C'mon, crowd around! Crowd around, don't be shy, crowd around.

 

They have the Internet on computers now.

 

Bart: I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
Devil: I'm The Devil!!!

 

//Homer and Bart chasing the BBQ pig//

Homer: It's just a little dirty. It's still good! It's still good!
Homer: It's just a little slimy. It's still good! It's still good!
Homer: It's just a little airborn. It's still good! It's still good!
Bart: It's gone.
Homer: I know.

 

This should provide adequate sustenance

 

BURNS: You there! Fill her up with petrolium nitrate and re-vulcanise my tyres. Post haste!