FF:NSW Simpsons Quote-A-Thon

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Ki-Bara-Mundi, Mar 24, 2001.

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  1. The_Poison_Monkey Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2001
    star 4
    Homer: If I wanted to see Japanese people, I'd go to the zoo!
  2. JediGecko Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 2000
    star 4
    Comic Store Dude: Yes, finally. I would like to return your quote-unquote ultimate belt.
    Other Guy: I see, you do have a receipt, quote-unquote, sir?
    Comic Store Dude: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a prize at the Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical as the average trekker has no use for a medium size belt.
    Other Guy: Whoa, whoa, a fat, sarcastic Star trek fan! You must be a devil with the ladies.
    Comic Store Dude: Hey ... I ... dee-ohh...
    Other Guy: Gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but no receipt, no return.
    Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it.
    Comic Store Dude: Huuuh. Very Well. I must hurry back to my Comic Book Store - where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them!
  3. Ki-Bara-Mundi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
    MARGE: As long as there's gas in the car, I'll be happy.
    HOMER: Well you can count on that!
    (Homer looks at the car nervously)
  4. The_Poison_Monkey Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2001
    star 4
    Mr. Burns: *having cut off the top of Homer's head* Now, get me the ice-cream scoop!
    Smithers: Ice-cream scoop?
    Mr Burns: Come on Smithers, it not rocket science. It's brain surgery. *pulls out brain and puts it on his head* Look at me, I'm Davey Crocket!
  5. The_Poison_Monkey Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2001
    star 4
    Homer: What would Zorro do in this situation?
    *Zorro waves his sword around and gets shot by the Southerner*
    NOOOOO! ZORRO!!!
  6. Ki-Bara-Mundi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
    HOMER: Nobody ruins my vacation except for me! And maybe the boy!
  7. Ki-Bara-Mundi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
    HOMER: I'm only going to be using this bed for sleeping, eating, and maybe building a fort.
  8. Ki-Bara-Mundi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
    Gecko inspired me for this one.

    BART: Hey dad. Heard ya swearing. Mind if I join you? CRAP! BOOBS! CRAP!
  9. JediGecko Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 2000
    star 4
    No! Homer Simpson never apologizes! I'm sorry, that's just the way I am ...
  10. Ki-Bara-Mundi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
    SMITHERS: Sir...I...love you.

    BURNS: Huh?

    SMITHERS: In that shirt!

    BURNS: Oh...

    SMITHERS: Who am I kidding? The cabin was the best time to tell him!
  11. JediGecko Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 2000
    star 4
    Frink: Sorry I'm late, there was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying; one of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head!
  12. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    Chief Wiggum: Looks like you got a taillight out.

    Homer: where?

    Chief Wiggum: *smashes taillight with baton* There!

    Homer: you know, one day, the average citizens will stand up against you crooked cops!

    Cheif Wiggum: Uh, they will?! have they set a date?!
  13. JediGecko Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 2000
    star 4
    (upon seeing the sillhoutte of Homer in the clouds)
    Lisa: Hey, isn't that Dad?
    Bart: Either that or Batman's really let himself go ...


    *hopes she isn't repeating stuff, because she's to darn lazy to go through the whole thread again*
  14. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    Lisa: But dad, if cartoons were meant for adults, they'd be put on at prime time.
  15. Ki-Bara-Mundi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
  16. Sith-Gecko Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2001
    star 4
    We must crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoia ... In that I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award.
  17. Ki-Bara-Mundi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
    BART: No offense Homer, but your half-arsed under-parenting was a lot better than your half-arsed over-parenting.

    HOMER: But I'm using my whole arse!
  18. Sith-Gecko Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2001
    star 4
    Dr. Nick: These gloves came free with my toilet brush ...
  19. AdmiralZaarin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 5
    "Mmmmmmmmmmm...........free goo" -Homer
  20. Sith-Gecko Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2001
    star 4
    Abe Simpson: We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like that time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville; I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickle, and in those days, nickles had pictures of bumblebees on them. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war; the only thing you can get was those big yellow ones.
  21. AdmiralZaarin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 5
    Film Critic: Your shoes are untied!
    *runs off
    *McBane looks at shoes for hours*
    McBane: On closer inspection, these are loafers
  22. slaveone_2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2001
    star 5
    Homer: Pornography. I was buying porongraphy
  23. Sith-Gecko Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2001
    star 4
    Bart: Leonard Nimoy? What are you doing here?
    Nimoy: Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near ...
    Bart: Uh-huh.
    Some guy: Hey Spock, what do you want on your hot dog?
    Nimoy: Surprise me!
  24. slaveone_2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2001
    star 5
    Brit: The 64th Street Bridge just collapsed
    Indian: Maybe it collapased on its own
    Brit: We cant take that chance
    Indian: You always say that, I want to take a chance
  25. AdmiralZaarin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 5
    Film Critic: I vote for Barney's unfortunately titled movie, Pukeahontas.
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