Before Sincerely (JA ? Qui writes a letter of complaint to LFL)

Thanks for clicking!

Title: Sincerely
Author: LianaMara
Timeframe: Jedi Apprentice
Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn
Genre: humour, parody
Keywords: Qui/Tahl
Summary: Following Tahl?s death in the Jedi Apprentice books, Qui-Gon writes a letter of complaint to LFL.

AN: A few weeks ago, I jokingly wrote part of a letter from Qui-Gon to Lucasfilm complaining about their treatment of Tahl. Bits and pieces were added, and when it was finished oba told me that I had to post it ? because it made her giggle and because I?d never written anything before TPM. So voilà.



***



Hey taxi
Take me straight to the heart of it
The nucleus of politics where somebody started it
Cause they taxed me
With a scalpel piece by piece
They cut me deep and bled me dry until there was nothing left to bleed.
~Relient K, ?Life After Death and Taxes?









Sincerely







Dear Lucasfilm Licensing,


I am composing this letter to complain about the unfair treatment of my Jedi love, Tahl. You had no right to kill her off in such a fashion! Did you even consider the effect that her death would have on myself - her only true love ? or her apprentice Bant, among others?

Tahl was not just a character to be thrown about lightly, like one of those expendable villain types from any of the books in the series. She was a strong female, a role that had been lacking somewhat in the earlier books. She gave me a reason to rethink certain Jedi ideas and principles, and provided Bant with an excellent example to follow by.

But did you consider all the great things that she brought to the Jedi Apprentice series? No. You killed her off because ?Jedi aren?t supposed to have love interests.?

What about Anakin? What about Obi-Wan and Siri? Didn?t think of that, did you, you JERKY JERKFACES!

Ahem.

I know that I am not the only character within the realm of SW fiction to hold great anger about your decisions. Tahiri Veila was downright suicidal when you ordered Anakin Solo to be killed because his name too closely resembled that of my padawan?s apprentice. Han Solo has never been the same since you allowed R.A. Salvatore to kill whichever minor character he so desired.

So I am sending this letter to inform you that a rebellion is rising within the ranks of the GFFA. No longer will we accept your idiotic, misinformed mandates. No more will we allow you to terminate our loved ones merely because ?George said so.?

This is war, buckaroos. And if you kill off Siri Tachi in one of the Clone Wars novels, I will support my padawan in whatever he does ? whatever ?crime? he may commit.

You deserve it, you kriffin? losers.


Sincerely,

Qui-Gon Jinn,
Jedi Master





Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Sharp pointy objects?
And thanks for clicking! />/>

*Snrk* that was great! hehehehe liked how he *ahem* got control there Priceless! He's gonna support Obi in no matter what he does if they (well when...) kill Siri off. Ahhh the love of a Master and an upset one at that! hehehe

Didn?t think of that, did you, you JERKY JERKFACES!

LOL!!!

Jerk Jerkfaces...

LianaMara, thank you for that, it made me laugh so hard... well the entire letter did actually. I was laughing so hard that it make my stomach hurt.



Awesome job!

*dies of laughter*

:Targeter:

Oh my, I have to agree;

Didn?t think of that, did you, you JERKY JERKFACES! . Jerky jerkfaces just strikes the funny bone. Especially coming from Qui-Gon... lol! I'd have to join him in his rebellion against LFL though, what was GL thinking in killing off such a character as Qui-Gon Jinn?!?!

Quite a delightful treat LianaMara!

What about Anakin? What about Obi-Wan and Siri? Didn?t think of that, did you, you JERKY JERKFACES!

LOL! I never thought I'd see a phrase like that used convincingly in a SW fanfic.

This is war, buckaroos. And if you kill off Siri Tachi in one of the Clone Wars novels, I will support my padawan in whatever he does ? whatever ?crime? he may commit.

*giggles* Amen, Qui. Beautifully done, Li. I'm glad you posted this, and glad I happened to pop into Before and see it.

This is war, buckaroos. And if you kill off Siri Tachi in one of the Clone Wars novels, I will support my padawan in whatever he does ? whatever ?crime? he may commit.

You deserve it, you kriffin? losers.

My favorite part! I just love the mention of Siri and Obi-Wan, and the 'buckaroos' is just hysterical, just like JERKY JERKFACES. And yet, it works! I really loved getting this (even in bits in pieces) with your lovely PM's.

Yay! Replies!

*brings Quigs in to look at feedback*


Kynstar- Thanks! This all came out rather spur-of-the-moment, so I?m glad you enjoyed it.

*Snrk* that was great! hehehehe liked how he *ahem* got control there Priceless!

Qui-Gon was getting rather angry there, using abusive language like ?jerky jerkface.? He had to rope himself back in.

He's gonna support Obi in no matter what he does if they (well when...) kill Siri off. Ahhh the love of a Master and an upset one at that! hehehe

Somehow, I fear what Obi and the ghost of Qui-Gon would do to LFL . . .

Targeter-

LianaMara, thank you for that, it made me laugh so hard... well the entire letter did actually. I was laughing so hard that it make my stomach hurt.

Thank you! "Jerky jerkfaces" was a bit of inspiration - it was a rather favourite insult of mine when I was about 7, and when I was thinking about Qui-Gon's reaction to Tahl's death in the books, that seemed the best way for him to describe the dumb LFLers.

*dies of laughter*

*calls in the evac team*

Leona- Thanks! I?m happy you liked it.

Jerky jerkfaces just strikes the funny bone. Especially coming from Qui-Gon... lol! I'd have to join him in his rebellion against LFL though, what was GL thinking in killing off such a character as Qui-Gon Jinn?!?!

Hehe! Obviously, George wasn?t thinking when he decided to kill of Qui-Gon.

Gabri- Gabri? In ?Before?? This is something!

LOL! I never thought I'd see a phrase like that used convincingly in a SW fanfic.

When I was writing it, I didn?t think ?jerky jerkfaces? was all that out of the ordinary. Then again, SW isn?t something like ?Napoleon Dynamite,? where IDIOTS! is a common and fitting insult.

*giggles* Amen, Qui. Beautifully done, Li. I'm glad you posted this, and glad I happened to pop into Before and see it.

Thank you. I?m glad you enjoyed it! Thank oba, too ? she told me to post it.

oba-

My favorite part! I just love the mention of Siri and Obi-Wan, and the 'buckaroos' is just hysterical, just like JERKY JERKFACES. And yet, it works! I really loved getting this (even in bits in pieces) with your lovely PM's.

Qui-Gon Jinn: Western star.

I?m so happy you liked it, dear Mumsicle. Now that I?m slowly becoming more acquainted with the JA books, I?ll try to venture back in here more often ? and perhaps, write more Qui. A bit more witty humorous, though.

And could I have that Obi & Qui viggie? Please?

Didn?t think of that, did you, you JERKY JERKFACES!

*can't breathe.... laughing.... too..... hard..*

LOL

Aw, I'm glad I clicked. This made me actually smile, and I haven't smiled all day.

Jerky jerkface was the best. haha, can we sign this and send??

Nice job!!

Very funny!

And I have a bad feeling that Siri will get killed off in the next book.

That was funny. I like the part about supporting Obi-Wan if they kill off Siri. You always wonder what the characters would say about some of the plot lines, don't you? Very cool idea to write about it this way.

This is war, buckaroos. And if you kill off Siri Tachi in one of the Clone Wars novels, I will support my padawan in whatever he does ? whatever ?crime? he may commit.

Awww...how caring of Qui-Gon!

Actually, I have a feeling that the folks at LFL would be even more tempted to kill off Siri if they ever received such a letter.

*brings Quigs in for more replies *

Zebra3- *giggles* I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Charmisjess- Thank you. And I'm so happy it made you smile -

haha, can we sign this and send??

I wish. I'm sure the LFL'ers wouldn't find it half so amusing as we would though -being jerky jerkfaces. What were they thinking, killing off Qui and almost all possible Jedi love interests?

Jedikma- Thanks!

And I have a bad feeling that Siri will get killed off in the next book.

Me too. I may not have the gift of foresight (it'd be damned useful, though ), I can foresee that her death is near. It makes me very sad, to see a great character like that get killed off . . . just because.

Indra- Thanks.

You always wonder what the characters would say about some of the plot lines, don't you? Very cool idea to write about it this way.

I've always thought about what Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon or Anakin felt about the plots they were placed in. I have the feeling that they wouldn't like most of the situations written for them.

Valiowk- Thanks for reading!

Awww...how caring of Qui-Gon!

Qui-Gon is such a good example of how to be an excellent Master, isn't he?

Actually, I have a feeling that the folks at LFL would be even more tempted to kill off Siri if they ever received such a letter.

Sad, isn't it? Despite the fact that they make sure new SW books get out, I can't help thinking that they're heartless robots.

* through the thread*

LOL! Jerky jerkfaces! Oh, that is priceless.

For goodness sakes, yes, I agree completely! We need Tahl! I like the JA fanfic where she's still alive, still pushing Qui to act his age and look at the other side. It was just too Star Trek, her dying--you know, if a main character falls in love with someone who isn't also a main character, the love interest dies in some bizarre accident. Argh!

I also support Obi-Wan in whatever he chooses to do, should Siri be killed. (She'd better not be.) Rargh.

*snorts with laughter*

But...it never even crossed my mind that Siri might die. :0

Yeah! Those kriffin losers!

You go Qui!

Oh, that was rich. In a good way. I know! I'm glad Qui finally spoke up and said what we've all been thinking!

'Jerky jerkfaces'...

Oh, my. That was priceless! Go, Qui-Gon! You tell 'em!

More replies! *brings Qui in for more feedback*

maychorian- Thank you!

For goodness sakes, yes, I agree completely! We need Tahl! I like the JA fanfic where she's still alive, still pushing Qui to act his age and look at the other side. It was just too Star Trek, her dying--you know, if a main character falls in love with someone who isn't also a main character, the love interest dies in some bizarre accident. Argh!

I know! I really hate it when a character is introduced, someone falls in love with them, and then they DIE. Especially when they're such an interesting, funny character like Tahl.

Star Trek is rather more formulaic than other sci-fi series . . .

We should form an alliance, against Siri's death. I'm sure there would be quite a lot of people who would join.

Sarahthenerd- Thanks.

Well, you know what they say about the Jedi Purge - all the Jedi except for Obi, Yoda, and Ani/Vader probably die. Poor Siri.

BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon- Qui sends much thanks. He's prepared to do anything to get his case heard.

The_Hutt- Merci! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I just read the Jedi Apprentic books not that long ago, and when I found out that Tahl died I was like ! So I had to do something.

RK_Striker_JK_5- Good Qui. I'm happy you liked it!


* through thread*