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Saga Smugglers and Separatists- Original characters-Please reply! :D Updated 4/3!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by sidious618, Mar 28, 2004.

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  1. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    Smugglers and Separatists






    "I didn?t think it would look like this!"

    "Neither did I."

    "I?ve never seen anything like it."

    "Nope."

    "What?s this place called again?"

    "Mos Espa."

    "What a dump."

    "Yep."

    "Are you sure Jabba is on this planet?"

    "Yes, I?m certain. Why do you think I would make a mistake like that?"

    "Because your an idiot."

    "Shut up."

    The two smugglers looked back and forth. Mos Espa was full of aliens of all shapes and sizes. Big and small, fat and thin.

    "Do you think there?s a bar nearby?" asked Vero.

    "If there is we?re not going to it," replied Hil Garth.

    "But I?m thirsty!"

    "Then we?ll get a drink, but not at a bar."

    "Why not?!"

    "Because you?ll get into a drunken stupor."

    "No I won?t!"

    "Pfft?"

    The two smugglers were male and about average height. Hil had dark black hair and handsome features while Vero had light brown hair and nothing distinguishung about him.

    "Well if I can?t get a drink then let?s try to find Jabba."

    "Okay."

    They looked back and forth again.

    "Which way do we go?"

    "How should I know?"

    "You have the map!"

    "Oh." Hil took out a datapad with a map of Mos Espa on it. The map was very detailed showing every path and naming all of the stores. Hil saw an information broker listed. "Here we go. Gofor Hofor. He?s an information broker. Hopefully he?ll be able to tell us where to go."

    The two smugglers headed down the streets passing an assortment of aliens such as Twi?leks, Aqualish and Gran. Sand blew up into their faces and Vero swatted the sand out of his face. "Damn stuff."

    Each smuggler had a blaster pistol on their belt along with a datapad or two. And of course a few credits to spare. On the back of their belts they each had a sharp vibroblade in case of hand to hand combat.

    A few minutes later the two arrived at Gofor Hofor?s. Stepping inside Hil greeted the Gran, "Hello!"

    Gofor looked up. "Ah, welcome. How can I be of service?" His three eyes moved up and down as he spoke. Vero had to stifle a laugh.

    Hil glared at him and then said, "We would like to see Jabba the Hutt."

    "Ah, Jabba. Be careful around him as he has a bad temper. I should advise you to go elsewhere if you can. Especially know as his mood is dark. Rumor has it one of his ships was intercepted by the Separatists and he lost over a million credits."

    Vero laughed. "What an idiot."

    Hil glared at him again but Vero didn?t seem to notice. Hil looked back at the alien. "Well, we?d like to see Jabba anyhow as once you work for him you get a good reputation. I?m sure the old slug could use us somehow."

    Gofor looked away. "Pray that he doesn?t use you as food for one of his pets."

    "Oh, I will," replied Vero.

    "But if you really want to see him I can lend you a ride for a mere hundred credits."

    "A hundred credits," Hil shot back. "Are you insane? Twenty-five at most."

    "Seventy-five."

    "Thirty and its my final offer."

    "Jabba?s palace is far from here. The trip will take a few hours. Seventy."

    "Fifty."

    "Sixty."

    "Fifty-five."

    "Deal."

    And with that they were off to see Jabba the Hutt.

    Thanks for reading. More to come very soon.
     
  2. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
  3. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
  4. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Pretty good man. Only thing is that you have so many things where people are talking, but no names or "he replied. "he answered" stuff like that. A few edits could help that. It is good though, original characters are always fun to read about.
     
  5. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    Thanks dude. I'll update soon.
     
  6. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    The Droid pilot landed them just outside of Jabba?s Palace. "Have a good day, sir."

    Vero gave a salute and jumped out of the landspeeder. Hil did the same. The two approached the rusted doors and knocked. A moment later a droid head poped out.

    "How can I help you, sir."

    Hil cleared his voice. "We would like to see Jabba the Hutt."

    "What is your business with him?"

    "We want to work for him?as smugglers."

    "Hold on." A moment later the door opened. The two smugglers looked at each other, shrugged and walked inside. The hall was dark and the two didn?t even see the Gameroean Guards. They grunted and the two pig like creatures raised their vibroaxes.

    "We are here to see Jabba." Hil?s face didn?t betray his nervousness.

    "Ah! Welcome." The voice had come from somewhere else and the two smugglers looked away from the hideous guards. Before them stood a white-skinned Twi?lek. "I am Bib Fortuna. Would you like to see Lord Jabba?"

    "Yes," Hil said evenly. "The sooner the better."

    "He is feasting as we speak."

    "Why am I not surprised," muttered Vero.

    Hil hushed him and said, "We would be honored to join him."

    "Of course you would. Right this way." The Twi?lek turned and began walking towards the throne room. What a slime ball, thought Hil.

    The hall soon opened up into the throne room. Beings of all sizes where in the room. Most were disgusting but some were beautiful.

    Vero nudged Hil. "Do you think Jabba is behind that big pile of mud?"

    "That is Jabba."

    Jabba the Hutt was a huge slug. His eyes were fixed on his live food. Bib whispered something to the Hutt and he looked up. Speaking in Huttese he said, "Who are you? What is it that you want?"

    Hil understood the language but Vero didn?t. Hil put on his best smile and said, "O greatest of the Hutts we would like to work for you as pilots. We will pilot anything you wish. I am Hil and this is my friend Vero."

    The Hutt was silent then he spoke. "I know of you. Isn?t it true you once smuggled for Black Sun?"

    Hil shifted back and forth. "Yes, sir."

    "Hmmm. Why did you stop?"

    Hil began to sweat. "We?were forced to."

    "How come?"

    "We let a spy, unwillingly of course, into their ranks."

    "HO! HO! HO!" Jabba?s whole body shook as he left. "Well we certainly have a bunch of Nerfs here. Nevertheless perhaps you could transport something for me. My food. I get much of my live food from Coruscant. Illegally. Can you handle something like that?"

    Hil nodded. "Without a doubt!"

    "Good. Do you have a ship of your own?"

    "Yes. A small one."

    "I?m sure it will do," boomed Jabba. "Enjoy my hospitality and then in the morning I will give you a datapad with information on your run."

    Hil thanked the Hutt and quickly left the hall.

    "How did it go?" asked Vero.

    "Well enough. We?ll be transporting his food."

    Vero made a face. "Yuck!"

    "My thoughts exactly!"

    ************************************************************************

    Jabba the Hutt motioned for Bib Fortuna to come over to him. "Make sure you watch those two. They may be Black Sun spies."

    "But then why would they say they are from Black Sun," muttered Fortuna.

    "I am unsure but it may be that they think if they are honest that we can trust them. This mission will test them."

    Fortuna cocked his head. "How so?"

    "I have alerted Black Sun as to where they are heading. They will be intercepted. If Black Sun backs off then we know that they are spies."

    "But what if they die?"

    "Then we know that they are incompetent fools!"

     
  7. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Awesome chapter dude! Sounds like it's gonna get good!
     
  8. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    I notice you have a Grevious quote.

    He will show up soon enough!
     
  9. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    Aug 27, 2002
    Really?! Sweet! Grievous is like the major badass of EPIII! I look forward to his appearance! What timeline is you story in? During or after EPIII? I don't remember reading any timeline mentions.
     
  10. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    During which you will see in the next part as they run across the Separatist.
     
  11. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Alright kewl! Can't wait for it.
     
  12. PulsarSkate

    PulsarSkate Ex-Mod star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2003
    This is cool, I love the banter between the two guys! Funny, and intriguing stuff, I look forward to reading more! :D
     
  13. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    Thanks Pulsar Skate!

    I hope you continue to read.

    There will be an update before Saturday.
     
  14. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Going up!
     
  15. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    Update!


    Commander Mercer looked at Lieutenant Vugger with a cold glare.

    "You almost killed the two smugglers! I told you to capture them."

    "They are alive. Besides you thought they were smuggling for the Republic," replied Vugger. "They were not."

    "That?s beside the point!"

    "I?m sure. But if I didn?t come out of hyperspace at that moment they would?ve escaped. Although I did capture another ship. You can look at it at your leisure."

    The Commander growled and turned to face a young Ensign. "When is the General arriving?"

    "Within an hour."

    ************************************************************************

    The second ship that Vugger had captured was silent. Inside of it sat three Jedi Knights.

    "We should strike now. I sense a disturbance in the Force," said one.

    "As do I," replied another.

    "Then let?s go," stated the third.

    ************************************************************************

    Hil opened his eyes and saw that he was in a dark cell with just a cot and a lavatory room. He stretched his arms and was glad to find them unbound. Smiling he stood and walked over to the door. "Hello?"

    No answer.

    He shook his head and wondered what had happened. The enemy ship must?ve stunned him and Vero somehow. Perhaps with an ion cannon of some sort. Speaking of Vero?

    "Vero? You in here?"

    Yet again no answer.

    Hil sighed and sat back down. There was nothing to do.

    That soon changed.

    A moment later he heard a humming sound outside of his door and the door began to melt away. On the other side stood a beautiful Twi?lek.

    "Hi. I?m Tawira and I?m here to rescue you."

    "Really?"

    "No, but it sounded good."

    Hil laughed and stood. "Can you help me get out of here?"

    "Follow me."

    Hil followed Tawira out. She threw him a blaster rifle from a destroyed Battle droid and said, "Use it well."

    A few moments later two other Jedi joined them.

    "Whose this guy?" asked one.

    "A prisoner."

    An older female Jedi said, "Take him back to the ship while we get the information we need. We?ll be back soon."

    ************************************************************************

    "I?m Vero, a smuggler for Jabba the Fatness."

    Mercer smiled at the comment. "I?m Commander Mercer. I know of you. Your reputation precedes you."

    Vero grinned. "I?m glad to hear it."

    "I heard you managed to escape five Jedi Starfighters once. Pretty impressive. We could use a guy like you on our team."

    "I charge a high price."

    Grinning Mercer replied, "That won?t be a problem."

    "One question: where?s Hil, my companion?"

    Mercer frowned. "A group of Jedi boarded the ship and captured him. They?ll brainwash or kill him. We are doing our best to save him, of course. But I make no promises."

    ************************************************************************

    Hil and Tawira hurried into the docking bay where their ship was. Hil turned around and quickly blasted off two Battle Droids? heads. "We?re clear."

    Tawira nodded and boarded the ship. A moment later she came running back out. "The other Jedi! We have to got to them. Something is here!"

    ************************************************************************

    Lieutenant Kevin walked into Mercer?s board room where he sat with Vero. "Sir, the General has arrived."


    Another update soon!


     
  16. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
  17. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2002
    OM*! "The General has arrived" YAY! Is that who I think it is?! Great story, loved the ending of the new chapter! Sounds like it's about to get messy!!!!!! UPDATE SOON!
     
  18. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    Here's a brief update. I wanted to wait but since you wanted to see the General...


    Hil rounded the corner and turned to face a Destroyer Droid.

    "Tawira!"

    The Jedi Knight turned and took a desperate slice at the shielded droid. Her green lightsaber bounced off of the shield. "Oh, crap."

    Hil jumped back and loaded a few shots into the Destroyer Droid? shield. No effect. Hil took a deep breath and hit the floor. He looked over at Tawira only to see an amazing sight. From her hands came a burst of lightening. The Droid was thrown off balance but the shield still protected it. But they had a chance.

    The two flew down the hall and Hil could almost feel the adrenaline pumping through his body.

    "Something?s wrong," stated Tawira. "Destroyer Droids shouldn?t be done here. There are only two of them on the entire ship and they are supposed to be protecting the Commander. So I wonder why they are down her. Any ideas?"

    Hil shook his head and kept running. From behind him he could hear the Destroyer Droid coming after them. "We better hurry," he puffed.

    Hil felt a shudder go through the ship as he ran. "What the?"

    Tawira shrugged. "Let?s just keep going!"

    They went left and then right and right again. A few moments later they were in the Hanger Bay. "Which one?s your ship?" asked Hil.

    Tawira didn?t respond as she was looking at another large and sleek ship that was completely black. "By the Force! Who is on that ship? Its so?well I don?t even know!"

    Hil looked at her. "Well then let?s get on your ship."

    Too late. The boarding ramp to the new ship lowered and two figures walked down. Both had cloaks covering their faces. Then behind them came a massive person who oozed evil. "Ah, a mere Padawan. Hardly worth my time," said the figure. "And who is this? A smuggler?" Hil couldn?t clearly see the person who was talking.

    "Halt!"

    Hil turned to see the other two Jedi enter. Hil smiled: reinforcements. He turned back to the dark figures and smiled. He was about to speak when he found he couldn?t move. He was completely paralyzed. The tall figure moved down the ramp. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am General Grevious." And then Hil was thrown against the wall.

    Thanks for reading!

     
  19. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2002
    "Allow me to introduce myself. I am General Grevious." And then Hil was thrown against the wall.

    AHHH! OM*! Great introduction of the General!!!!!!! I loved it!! This is so kickass dude!! Can't wait to see what you do with Grievous! So he has Force powers?! Anyway, nice update dude! Great stuff! :cool:
     
  20. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2003
    He has quite a few Force powers. He'll be taking on two Jedi at once. It'll be quite a battle. :D
     
  21. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Reeealy?!?!?!?! Awesome stuff! I never thought of Grievous with the Force!!!!! Gives me some ideas. Anyway sounds like it's about to heat up for the Jedi!
     
  22. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    Aug 27, 2002
    Going up!!
     
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