Buff, NY Snowball Fight!!! ***read before playing***

-His plans falling apart...Wingnut signaled to Tesh who's Horn Section blew a loud Retreat signal. The Penguin Army would fall back on stage and begin to dig their trenches and defense barricades...the Siege of Tesh had begun.-

 

Penguins seem to be having trouble digging trenches with their flippers over their ears, trying to block out the sound.

My invading army of polar bears began marching in to overtake the penguins, but were distracted by a giant drive-in movie showing a stupid movie about....argh!.... penguins!

 

Pelts Sydney Crosby just for chips and giggles!

 

Jay FINALLY gets to the eye doctor.....The doc gives Jay special glasses to see into the future.....Let the hunt begin!!!

 

Blew my woofers blasting Yanni so loud. Have to retreat to invisible fort for repairs.

Meanwhile, I enlist secret group of snowmobilers to bring in snow-making machine from Kissing Bridge. Make alterations to machine, to enable it to make and shoot snowballs in the style of a baseball launcher.

POW - POW - POW

{don't see anybody out there to aim at... where'd everybody go?}

 

Jay (with his special glasses) pops his head around a snowman, Yells HAPPY NEW YEAR, lobs a snowball at Elaine but hits Jays clone that was running by...

 

Thanks, man!

 

Is it January 2nd yet? I'm not coming out till Jeff has pants on!!! Instead I'm stewing over the fact that he spilled my hot cocoa and thinking of a crafty way to get him back. In the meantime I'm fashioning myself with some marshmellow earmuffs so as not to be driven insane with the sounds of John Tesh and Yanni!

Before heading back to my scheming I lob a giant cocoa filled snowball at Jay who's trying to figure out how he missed Elaine and hit his own clone insted (Although the rest of us know its because Scouts have bad aim!)

 

Wow! Jeff finally wakes up at 11:30am Jan. 2nd and heads over to the pants store. Unfortunately all they have left in his size is a pair of black leather chaps. They`ll do. Before heading back out into the melee, the pants store owner asks Jeff to autograph his copy of Saturday`s newspaper. Jeff, of course, refuses to sign it because he is an arrogant jerk. As Jeff heads for the door, the store owner blasts him in his exposed fanny with a slushball! Man, that`s cold! With a renewed sense of purpose and a butt-crack full of snow, Jeff heads back out to join the fray! Time to thin the herd...

 

POW - POW - POW

Ha! Gotcha. You got a hat to go with those chaps, cowboy?

Jeff should have stayed up on the 15th floor with his big, glowing ball.

 

With only chaps there may be more glowing balls to be seen!
Decide to go ouot and enjoy the fight regardless of who is wearing pants and who isn't. Smadh Chris in the back of the head as I dash out of Elaines fort and disappear behind a tree before anyone knows it was me.

 

Since all the snow is gone and it`s raining out, Jeff gets a bucket of water and climbs a tree. (chaps aren`t really conducive to tree climbing, by the way ) Finally, he sees his first chump, Jay, and dumps the bucket of water on his head.

 

Because of the rain, I peek out of my invisible fort wearing my raincoat and galoshes. They make so much swishing noise, I am attracting unwanted attention. Duck back inside to change to cordouroys...

 

CHUMP?!? Jay looks up sees Jeff *and all his manlinesss* and gives him a "shower". Jay then runs off and cries like a little school girls because Jeff called him a chump!

 

Thank goodness Jeff didn't choos the tree I was hiding behind to climb up!
I manage to pelt Elaine in the back before she slips back into her fort, then take aim at Jeff and knock him out of his tree.. chaps and all.

I then decide it would be wise to move along instead of waiting for the lovely zip - zip noise of cords from elaine

 

Jeff gets knocked out of the tree by Mindy and hits a few branches on the way down and lands with a thud. Stunned, he opens his eyes to see Jay standing over him, stroking his beard with an insane look on his face. Jay spreads his arms apart and gets right in Jeff`s face saying "`Sup now, b#$ch!?" Temporarily immobilized, Jeff helplessly lays in the mud while Jay pelts him repeatedly in the "business" with slushballs! Jay pauses to gloat and stroke his beard again, gives Jeff one more shot, and casually turns and walks away. As Jeff plots his revenge, he opens his eyes just in time to see Jay get blindsided in the head and have his stupid new glasses blasted right off his face. Sweet!

 

Marches to Jay's fort with the new and improved snowman army, only to catch everyone by surprise with my "trojan Snowman."


Repeatedly hits Mindy with super packed snowballs. Hits add up to the shoulder, knee, dupa, stomach, and also a quick one to the left ear. Runs to cover Mindy in snow in patented "doggy dig" paddle method, and raises leg and leaves a Heisman for her to whiff while digging out.

 

Down, Rover, down! Bad dog!

My polar bear army finishes watching the penguin movie, but are so busy saying, "Awwwww" they don't see a barrage of snowballs flying toward them...

 

...snickers at the thought of the Polar bears eating snowcones laced with sleeping pills. Chris waits for them to fall asleep then launches an assault on Elaine starting with a shovel full of wet fluffy snow that stuns her and allows him time to climb back into the safety of his Mega Snowman.

 

Good thing I came to quickly and ducked back inside my invisible fort. {plugs in super-duper silent hairdryer and starts drying off...}

 

I haven't seen an industrial Strength Hairdryer in ages!

 

Hairdryer works so well it starts melting my fort.

Have to turn it off and re-fortify my place.

 

My arms are tired from making all these nifty bricks for my fort. Too bad nobody is around to play...

 

The snow has all melted...

 

-sits in silence in his secret hideout, surrounded by the surviving penguin attack force as he waits and lurks for the next snowfall-

Soon...