JCC So, I just spent four days in an inpatient psyche ward . . .

For severe clinical depression.

Ask me anything about it that you want. I kind of want to talk about it and I thought people might be interested.

 

you alright?

 

Have a cookie.

 

What are some of the things that go through your mind when you're there, Rogue?

Mental illness is still stigmatised in our society so people often feel uncomfortable talking about it or admitting they have sought help for mental illness. Ignoring that at least six idiots will post something inappropriate in this thread, I commend you for having the courage to talk about it.

EDIT: 5 more to go, thanks SLG.

 

How long have you been coping with depression?

 

Was this a voluntary committal? If so, what made you decide to do so?

Also echoing 'Are you all right?'

 

that's a pretty tough ride. i've got a rather severe and chronic depression that's been going on for a while now. if you ever need to chat, hit me up. my door is always open.

was it voluntary? what all happened there? did they give you pills in tiny little dixie cups?

 

What led you to deciding to check yourself in somewhere rather than going to therapy?

 

what's the point

 

If it's severe clinical wouldn't it require some form of medication to manage it, i.e. psychiatry over psychology?

 

It wouldn't necessarily require medication.

I'll refrain from asking questions... I'll just congratulate you on taking the first step (if this is the first step, if not, all steps are commendable, really) to facing and learning to manage your depression.

 

r/IAMA?

 

tom & Juliet316: I'm better than I was when I went in. I would stop short of saying that I'm "alright."

Ender_Sai: Every kind of thought goes through your mind. There is some change from day to day. When I went in, I was intensely suicidal, so I was thinking about that a lot. Later I was thinking more hopefully about the future. I was afraid about what would happen when I got out. I was happy, I was sad, I was angry, I was tired, I was disappointed, I was surprised. It's everything basically.

JoinTheSchwarz: My first major depression was three years ago or so. I was able to come up from that pretty well and pretty quickly; I would say I was depressed for a couple of months. Since then, I have not really had any major episodes, until this year. This episode of depression started in April. It has been way longer and way more intense than the previous one. Basically, for the majority of this year, I have been either extremely sick, kind of sick or getting better. So far, no episode of getting better has lasted for more than a few days and has generally been followed by an intense crash. So, eight months or so.

Juliet316 & Master_Jacen: It was voluntary.

Juliet316: I decided to go into the hospital after an extremely bad couple of weeks. I had felt that I was doing much better week before last then I had a tremendous crash on Wednesday (or Thursday), which resulted in me walking off the job, having an episode of total rage and loss of control in which I stomped around an empty parking lot, screaming profanities at the top of my lungs and beating the **** out of my car with my fists and feet. The police were called and I spent some time with them, talking about what was going on in my life. They released me to my mother with no charges. I had thought, again, that I was beginning to get better until Tuesday night, when I began spiraling down. Wednesday morning I basically broke down and had a very traumatic argument with my mother about the direction of my life. I went in late to work and could not get the thought of killing myself out of my mind. I spent a couple of hours at work doing nothing but googling suicide methods and reading about the best way in which to end my life. I looked at pictures of suicides and read extensively about all the available methods. At lunch time, I called a suicide hotline and they connected me with the hospital where I received treatment. I went in because I felt that I was losing control again and in a much more dramatic way than I had previously lost control. For the first time in my life, it seemed really possible that I would indeed kill myself. I have had thoughts in the past, both in my previous depression and in this current one, but they were in no way as insistent, compelling and powerful as they were this last time. That frightened me very much and I knew that I needed some serious help immediately.

More answers coming in another post.

 

Yeah, only the JCC is actually not as much of a complete cesspit as reddit, even with beezel and Montie.

Sorry to hear it, Rogue 1.5, glad you're at least well enough to be discharged now.

 

that's effed, bruv. you should probably take a cue to spend less time posting. i know when my depression gets real bad i do better if i spend less time on the computer

just imo

 

Sorry to hear this Rogue. Is this what prompted you to finally post a picture of yourself here? Something to remember you by? [face_sligty_worride]

Stick around - I'm in Frieda's camp, use this place if you can to help. We all love ya!

 

Is there decent follow up care?

 

Man, Rogue, that's some heavy stuff.
I'd say let's go grab a beer, but we can't. There's one here for you anyway.

Why?
How can a man of your not insignificant talent and looks... be suicidal?
I just don't get it.
Could you try to explain, or is that too direct?

Also, glad you're back! Just mailed you yesterday, and I noted you'd been gone since Tuesday, and I admit I worried a bit. Don't you do that again, you hear me.

 

Master_Jacen: You see a psychiatrist every day and also a therapist. There are group sessions three or four times a day. Four days a week you can get visitors. You spend a lot of time in unstructured conversations with your fellow patients. You play a ****load of cards. I learned seven new card games in four days. You drink a lot of coffee. You look forward to meal times because they turn the juice machine on. I read three books. Three meals & three snacks a day. Some people watched a lot of television; I didn't watch much at all. I did a daily crossword puzzle out of the newspaper and actually completed it for the first time in my life. The days are very long. The pills were actually in the paper ketchup containers, not dixie cups.

Healer_Leona: As mentioned above, this current spate of depression has been going since April. I asked for help fairly quickly; this was probably because I have seen depression up close in my family and also had the previous episode in my own life to remember; in both cases, professional help was able to, well, help. By May I was seeing a therapist. I previously went to this hospital to be evaluated for admission, but, as my suicidal thoughts weren't so strong then, they simply recommended continuing with the outpatient therapy. I would say that inpatient therapy was extremely helpful. I would go so far as to say that I think everyone should spend a week in an inpatient psyche ward. It will absolutely put you in the real ******* world, shatter a ton of your illusions and change your entire perspective on life.

Fire_Ice_Death: I had actually started seeing a therapist back in May. Seeing a therapist is very helpful in itself, but sometimes you are simply in a crisis. I could not have wa, ted a week to see my therapist when I crashed last week. Also, when you are in one of those crisis moments, you need the intensity, I think, of actually being inpatient, removed from all the stress of your life and able to focus entirely on pulling up out of the current crisis.

Space_Caboose: The point is ******* staying alive.

More answers coming.

 

Ender_Sai: I have decided, perhaps unwisely, that I feel like being completely and totally honest, so I'm going to talk about my medication history. In my previous episode of depression, I began taking Paxil. It caused a major change in a matter of a couple of weeks and I began feeling like myself again. There's a lot of misinformation about anti-depressants. They do not enable you to be happy all the time; they simply return you to your ability to be able to feel the whole range of human emotions instead of just the one overwhelming sensation of despair. What was most amazing to me was simply the fact that I felt like myself again; in the depression, part of the hell is that you no longer feel at all like the person you used to be. Back in June, my therapist decided my depression was severe enough that I needed to see a psychiatrist. He added Abilify to the Paxil I was still taking; Abilify is a medication that can intensify the effect of other medications. I began feeling incredibly irritable and restless on the Abilify. I was on it for two months; the first month I was twitchy and unable to sit still long enough to . . . well, even to type this paragraph would have been a chore. The second month, my dosage was cut back, which removed the restlessness, but also the therapeutic benefit and I began spiraling back down. In October, I was switched to Lamictyl; it's a medication that requires a lengthy ramp up process. You take a particular dosage for two weeks and then move to the next dosage and so on, until you finally reach the aimed for dosage. It has helped me more than the Abilify, but I am still in a stabilization period, apparently. Now, as opposed to having all bad days, I am on more of a roller coaster: two bad days, three good ones, four really bad ones, one that's okay, two good ones, etc. I am hopeful that this means that I the medication is working and now only needs to reach a balance in order to stop the extreme ups and downs.

Lord Vivec: You will have to clarify. I'm not sure what that means.

jp-30: Oh ****. I hadn't even thought of that. No, that wasn't the reason. That was posted on one of my good days. This kind of goes to the issue raised by Rogue and Leona: on my bad days, I couldn't care less about this place or anything else really. Posting here makes me feel better sometimes, just like reading a good book or listening to good music or whatever. I try to keep a good balance of activities; I do know that there is a correlation between depression and extreme computer use. I think I stay this side of extreme. Most days.

 

All I can say is hope you get some meds to help you through the rough patches. With me, sometimes things will get to where I need to take an extra dose of one of my pills to deal with obsessive-compulsive thoughts or so.

 

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you reached out to get help. And on a trivial, purely selfish note, I'd hate to lose you as a poster.

I don't know what to write that doesn't sound really trite and inadequate.