So, I'm Ugly....

I don't fit the preconceived notions of what is considered attractive for a female. I don't wear makeup (and I can't), I have short hair (a crime against all that is feminine, in this culture which worships long hair), and I dress in clothes that don't show off my so-called body (gasp! I should be burned at the stake, I'm not prancing around in two pieces of cloth held together by a string!).

The biggest crime of all is, that I'm intelligent, and I don't try to hide it. When I open my mouth, out come the $50 and higher words. Out come the educated opinions. And, God forbid, out comes the odd, often sarcastic, sense of humor.

Oh, I should be so ashamed...I try to be myself. Really, I should have been locked away a long time ago...

So, by societal and personal standards, I'm considered unattractive.

I could almost be comfortable with this notion, except for one little problem. I actually want a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. And none of them will have me, because I don't wear anything from Victoria's Secret, and I don't have a false hair color, and I don't pretend to be dumb.

So, what am I supposed to do? Bend a little, and tart myself up just enough to turn a man's head? But if I do that, how much do I have to give in? And, by giving in, am I really staying true to my values? Or, do I just continue as I am, and hope that some enlightened male will come across my path, and like what he sees?

 

you're fine; just be yourself.

 

Looks are just a small thing in the grand scheme of things, they can give you a head start, but they won't take you anywhere. It's up to you to live you're life as who you are.

BTW the pic in your profile isn't ugly.

 

this is what you do, you join a Star Wars message board and make lots of friends who you will actually never meet. Then you brag to everyone you know about how many people you talk to on a daily basis.

No I don't do this... ok, there is no proof to back that up

if that doesn't work, just be HAPPY!!

 

What Jedi_Tabee said...

 

This is a bit melodramatic, isn't it? Not to mention unrealistic -- you grant the fact that you're different, then scarcely even allow for the possibility that any man could be, too. Hmmm.

You need to meet more people or something. They're not, like, all the same.

 

Synecdoche, the men I've come across haven't been different. Except for the two long-term relationships I had where I was abused. With those two guys, looks weren't an issue. Just my vulnerability.

And, sorry if I come across as melodramatic. I was trying to write this in an intelligent way, and yet be diplomatic at the same time. If I had written what I really wanted, I'd be banned.

 

OK, well, get out there, then. Go where smart people go. You'll find one.

 

Put down the Cosmo and back away. Plenty of guys like short hair. And if you think a guy isn't going to try to get with a girl just because she doesn't wear make-up, you don't know guys. Not all guys are intimidated by strong women, either.

 

I stopped reading Cosmo when I was a teenager. It made me even more insecure than I am now (hard to believe, isn't it?).
But that mentality is so pervasive in this culture. It's like murder on your psyche.

 

Ugly, i always thought, was the structure of your face. Not what you decide to put or not put on it.

 

Put down the Cosmo and back away. Plenty of guys like short hair. And if you think a guy isn't going to try to get with a girl just because she doesn't wear make-up, you don't know guys. Not all guys are intimidated by intelligent women, either.

 

Boards are screwed up tonight.

 

Hey PB, your post at 11:13 just got placed after her reply to you. That's the 2nd time I've seen that happen with one of your posts lately. What the hell? ?

EDIT
Ah, okay.

 

The logic behind the beauty culture goes like this:

You use makeup to hide any flaws you have. And to accentuate any nice features you have.

That does not make any sense at all...

(ACK!!!!! I just got everyone sucked into the Twilight Zone!!!)

 

I don't know. Our mod functions are screwy tonight too. I don't know what's going on. Oh well, don't let me derail the thread.

 

Sweetheart, just start hanging out with some guys who drink and smoke pot all the time, believe me, they'll end up liking you....you'll get plenty of tail, without compromising your integrity.

 

Ah, but the rules of etiquette (I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong) demand that one spends time around those smarter than oneself; only thus can there be any self-improvement.

 

Is that why you're in the JCC?

 

The logic behind the beauty culture goes like this:

You use makeup to hide any flaws you have. And to accentuate any nice features you have.

That does not make any sense at all...

Men don't use makeup (well, most don't, anyway). Why should it be different for women? If a man will only fall for you as a reasult of your submitting to society's standards of femininity, I doubt he'd be worth having around.

As the rest have said, don't change a thing. Be yourself. Men who can appreciate that ARE out there, guaranteed.

 

question: if you wear make-up to get a guy, find the guy, get married, will you have to get up before him every morning to put make up on so he has no idea what you really look like?

oops, forgot, you will also have to go to bed after him as well...

 

As long as you like yourself, you shouldn't change for anyone.

Besides, you can't love someone else, until you love yourself.

 

Jedi-Jade is Cute, and Smart!!!

 

Said by Jedi_Tabee:
question: if you wear make-up to get a guy, find the guy, get married, will you have to get up before him every morning to put make up on so he has no idea what you really look like?

You know, those blasted beauty magazines never address this matter at all. The assumption is, the man will eventually accept your interior as much as your exterior, meaning you can discard the outer accoutrements after awhile. I take the position, why even do the makeup thing at all? That way, what he sees is what he gets!

 

Don't always put make ups on...girl...
God, Be yourself!!!

Put it on, only when you want to go out in public, but at HOME, damn don't even worry about it!

Even Queen Amidala does it for security reason.

And, you are NOT BeiJing Opera performer, either.