ST Social: The face your own failure / regret and confess as Luke did thread

Just a social / discussion idea I had that relates slightly to the ST and TLJ.

Much of TLJ is about repressed feelings associated with painful memories, or mistakes, or regrets. Luke created his own unhealthy purgatory and turned his attention to the bigger problems of the Order so that he didn’t have to face his own regrets and mistakes. Yoda helps him through it.

We don’t have Yoda here on the forum but we do have each other. Do you have big regrets or mistakes you haven’t fully admitted out loud that you wish hadn’t happened that you want to get off your chest through the annonmity of the Internet? Something mean you said to a loved one? A poor choice you made that could have been bad but wasn’t? Did you get someone in trouble at work? Go behind the back of a friend? Any close calls? Any wake up calls?

To help, I’ll start with something that literally just happened to me this morning that I am already struggling with.

I was in a rush out the door this morning because of a presentation I have to give in about an hour and my commute. I was out of my normal daily routine. Two of my kids are young and both have colds so both were up throughout the night which meant very little sleep for me or my wife.

As I was heading out the door I saw that it was also garbage day. It had completely slipped my mind. I put my 4 year old daughter in the back of our SUV in her car seat quickly but did not buckle her in just yet because I just wanted her to be out of the winter cold and comfortable while I moved the garbage to the end of the driveway. I shouldn’t have done this. It broke from my routine of buckling her up. I should have buckled her in then and there but in a moment of pure laziness I told myself I’ll put her in now and buckle her up after the garbage.

I’m sure you can guess what happened next. In a sleep-deprived daze I got back into the front of our SUV and backed into our street and began driving down our residential street at slow speed when she said “Daddy, my seat belt’s not on!”

Completely ashamed I pulled over and buckled her up and began wondering how the heck I forgot and how bad it could have been and if this was a big enough moment in her day that she’d now tell her daycare workers at school or her mom when she sees her later tonight. I haven’t yet told my wife I stupidly made that choice that could have been really, really awful had I entered a busy road and been hit. Mostly, I’m shocked I was capable of making the mistake at all. I buckle her in daily and have for years. I always buckle up myself. I just broke from routine there with the garbage and had a moment of pure weakness where it seemed easier to put her in now and buckle her up later. I’ve seen those people on TV who somehow say they forgot to buckle their kid up or that they forgot they were in their car seats on hot days and judged them massively. “I could never and would never do anything like that. How could anyone?!” Now, I can’t say that and all because of one stupid choice that could have torn my entire family apart. I don’t want to tell my wife about it. I feel like she may never trust me to put our kids into the car safely again and will want to inspect each buckle. It will worry her more in a way. I already wonder how I will have to downplay the significance of this if my daughter says “My daddy forgot to buckle me up today” and she’s at an age where it’s completely unpredictable what she will say.

So now I’m off to my own island of the office to stew on this mistake now and come up with my own omitted details of what happened if it comes up in my own Ahch-To confrontation later tonight. I just feel thankful that she noticed it when she did and that nobody was hurt and will use this as a learning lesson. That’s also why I’m writing this. So that I process this more.

Do any of you have any mistakes or regrets that you are surprised you made that you want to get off your chest and confront the way Luke did? Or do you want to let the past die?