Wash, DC Some things to ponder as you head to the holiday

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones
that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my
garage door opener.....

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway............

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans..................

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce
it...............

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it
"Pumping Rust.

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease ... that's when your chest
is
falling into your drawers!..............

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have
you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say,
"No, it's for company!"..............

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case
of an emergency. I think you should write,
"A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do ... write to these men?
Why don't they just put their pictures
on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older then it dawned on me ...
they were cramming for their finals...........

Does God grade on the curve?

 

WASHINGTON POST columnist runs a column each summer
listing interesting WOMEN'S T-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach.

1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

2. (On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD. (On the back) IF YOU'RE A TREE.


3. I'M STILL HOT ... IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.

4. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

6. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.

7. I'M NOT 5! 0. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.

8. ANNAPOLIS--A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILOR PROBLEM.

9. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD... ARE YOU BAD?

10. PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!

11. BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO
SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR CAR.

12. I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.

13. IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.

14. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.

15. KEEP STARING....I MAY DO A TRICK.

16. WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.

17. DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.

18. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.

19. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE," I
WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE.

20. CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.

21. LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.

22. IN GOD WE TRUST. ALL OTHERS WE POLYGRAPH

 

funny stuff and this was the GSFF's 500th thread !

wooooo party !