Something completely different -- FF Nordic Countries official Monty Python thread!

Discussion in 'Nordic Countries Discussion' started by JediLynx, Aug 3, 2001.

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  1. Tod Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 1999
    star 4
    The black knight

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [King Arthur music]
    [music stops]
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Aaaagh!
    [King Arthur music]
    [music stops]
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Aaagh!
    GREEN KNIGHT:
    Ooh!
    [King Arthur music]
    [music stops]
    [stab]
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Aagh!
    GREEN KNIGHT:
    Oh!
    [King Arthur music]
    Ooh! Uuh.
    [music stops]
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Aaaagh!
    [clang]
    BLACK KNIGHT and GREEN KNIGHT:
    Agh!, oh!, etc.
    GREEN KNIGHT:
    Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!
    [woosh]
    [BLACK KNIGHT kills GREEN KNIGHT]
    [thud]
    [scrape]
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Umm!
    [clop clop clop]
    ARTHUR:
    You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
    [pause]
    I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
    [pause]
    I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
    [pause]
    You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
    [pause]
    You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    None shall pass.
    ARTHUR:
    What?
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    None shall pass.
    ARTHUR:
    I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Then you shall die.
    ARTHUR:
    I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    I move for no man.
    ARTHUR:
    So be it!
    ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT:
    Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
    [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]

    [image=http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/inlines/04_kn-1.jpg]

    ARTHUR:
    Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    'Tis but a scratch.
    ARTHUR:
    A scratch? Your arm's off!
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    No, it isn't.
    ARTHUR:
    Well, what's that, then?
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    I've had worse.
    ARTHUR:
    You liar!
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Come on, you pansy!
    [clang]
    Huyah!
    [clang]
    Hiyaah!
    [clang]
    Aaaaaaaah!
    [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]

    [image=http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/inlines/04_kn-2.jpg]

    ARTHUR:
    Victory is mine!
    [kneeling]
    We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Hah!
    [kick]
    Come on, then.
    ARTHUR:
    What?
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Have at you!
    [kick]
    ARTHUR:
    Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Oh, had enough, eh?
    ARTHUR:
    Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Yes, I have.
    ARTHUR:
    Look!
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Just a flesh wound.
    [kick]
    ARTHUR:
    Look, stop that.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Chicken!
    [kick]
    Chickennn!
    ARTHUR:
    Look, I'll have your leg.
    [kick]
    Right!
    [whop]
    [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]

    [image=http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/inlines/04_kn-3.jpg]

    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Right. I'll do you for that!
    ARTHUR:
    You'll what?
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Come here!
    ARTHUR:
    What are you going to do, bleed on me?
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    I'm invincible!
    ARTHUR:
    You're a looney.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
    [whop]
    [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]

    [image=http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/inlines/04_kn-4.jpg]

    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
    ARTHUR:
    Come, Patsy.
    BLACK KNIGHT:
    Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Hopefully this was not too violent for anybody.
  2. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    Interviewer: Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of Blood Devastation Death War and Horror, and later on we'll be meeting a man who *does* gardening. But first on the show we've got a man who speaks entirely in anagrams.

    Man: Taht si crreoct.

    Interviewer: Do you enjoy it?

    Man: I stom certainly od. Revy chum so.

    Interviewer: And what's your name?

    Man: Hamrag - Hamrag Yatlerot

    Interviewer: Well, Graham, nice to have you on the show. Now, where do you come from?

    Man: Bumcreland.

    Interviewer: Cumberland?

    Man: Stah't it sepricely.

    Interviewer: And I believe you're working on an anagram version of Shakespeare?

    Man: Sey, sey - taht si crreoct, er - ta the mnemot I'm wroking on "The Mating of the Wersh".

    Interviewer: "The Mating of the Wersh"? By William Shakespeare?

    Man: Nay, by Malliwi Rapesheake.

    Interviewer: And what else?

    Man: "Two Netlemeng of Verona", "Twelfth Thing", "The Chamrent of Venice"....

    Interviewer: Have you done "Hamlet"?

    Man: "Thamle". 'Be ot or bot ne ot, tath is the nestquoi.'

    Interviewer: And what is your next project?

    Man: "Ring Kichard the Thrid".

    Interviewer: I'm sorry?

    Man: 'A shroe! A shroe! My dingkom for a shroe!'

    Interviewer: Ah, Ring Kichard, yes... but surely that's not an anagram, that's a spoonerism.

    Man: If you're going to split hairs, I'm going to piss off.
  3. MemberOfTheNewRep Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 6, 2002
    star 4
  4. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    Ah, but what also floats?
  5. THAM_Adam Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 26, 2002
    Whan ist nünschtuck git und sloter mayer?
    Ja, Bearhund oder in Flipperwald gersput
  6. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
  7. MemberOfTheNewRep Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 6, 2002
    star 4
    Hank and Roy Spire are tough, fearless backwoodsmen who have chosen to live in a violent, unrelenting world of nature's creatures, where only the fittest survive. Today they are off to hunt mosquitoes.

    The mosquito's a clever little bastard. You can track him for days and days until you really get to know him like a friend. He knows you're there, and you know he's there. It's a game of wits. You hate him, then you respect him, then you kill him.

    Now more than ever, they must rely on the skills they have learnt from a lifetime's hunting. Hank gauges the wind. Roy examines the mosquito's spoor. Then... It's a success. The mosquito now is dead. But Roy must make sure.

    There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito.

    But the hunt is not over. With well practised skill Hank skins the mosquito.

    [...]

    Roy and Hank prepare for a much tougher ordeal - a moth hunt.

    [...]

    For Roy, sport is everything. Ever since he lost his left arm battling with an ant, Roy has risked his life in the pursuit of tiny creatures.
  8. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    Mrs Shazam: Oh, Mrs ******-Baiter's exploded.
    Son: Good thing, too.
    Mrs Shazam: She was my best friend.
    Son: Oh, mother, don't be so Sentimental. Things explode every day.
    Mrs Shazam: Yes, I suppose so. Anyway, I didn't really like her that much.

  9. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    Do you in fact have Two Sheds?
  10. Karoline Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2001
    star 4
    Jeg så Life of Brian i går.

    "Are there any women here today...?"
    "Jehova, Jehova, Jehova!"
    "Nobody's going to stone anybody until I blow this whistle!"

    Lmao

  11. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    Ja, den är helt lysnde!

    "Beard, madam?"
  12. JediLynx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2000
    star 5
    ...not even if they say 'Jehova'!
  13. Karoline Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2001
    star 4
    -Crucifiction?
    *nods*
    -Good. First exit on the right, crosses to the left, one cross each. (eller noe sånt) Next?
    *man walks on*
    -Crucifiction?
    -No, freedom, actually.
    -Pardon?
    -Yes, I've been freed, they told me to go off and live on an island somewhere.
    -Oh, jolly good, you can just be off, then.
    -Naah, I'm only pulling your leg, it's crucifiction, really.
  14. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    "We got lumps of 'em.... in da back."
    "d... d... d... don't you mind h.. h.. h... him, sir. H... H... He's m... m... m... Mad, sir!"
  15. Karoline Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2001
    star 4
    "I'm Brian, and so is my wife!"
  16. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    No, I'm actually not Brian, I was just pulling you leg!"
  17. Karoline Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2001
    star 4
    En favoritt;

    Brian; Are you the Judean People's Front?
    Cleese; F*** off!
    B- What?
    C- Judean People's Front.. We're the People's Front of Judea! Bah.. Judean People's Front....
    B- Can I join your group?
    C- No, piss off.
    B- (whiny) I didn't want to sell this stuff, it's only a job! I hate the romans as much as anybody!
    Group- Sh! Sh!
    Woman- Are you sure?
    B- Oh, dead sure, I really hate the romans.
    C- Look, if you want to join the PFJ, you'd have to really hate the romans.
    B- I do!
    C- Oh yeah, how much?
    B- (firm) A lot!
    C- (pauses) Ok, you're in. But the only people we hate more than the romans are the ****** Judean People's Front.
    Palin- And the Judean popular people's front!
    Group- (mutters aggressively) Yeah, splitters, splitters..
    Idle- And the People's Front of Judea!
    Group- (mutters) Splitters, splitters...
    Cleese- What?
    Idle- The People's Front of Judea, splitters.
    Cleese- We're the People's Front of Judea!
    Idle- Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
    Cleese- People's Front!
    Palin- Whatever happened to the Popular Front?
    Cleese- He's over there. (Looks to his left)
    Group- (Looks with him, then shouts) Splitter!!


    For ikke å nevne gladiator- scenen som utspiller seg under diskusjonen.....
  18. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    LOL Ja den är fin!

    Centurion - What's this, then? 'Romanes Eunt Domus'? 'People called Romanes they go the house'?

    Brian - It... it says, 'Romans, go home'.

    Centurion - No, it doesn't.


  19. Karoline Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2001
    star 4
    Lol! Tenk hvor effektiv gramatikk- undervisningen hadde blitt hvis skolen hadde tatt i bruk de gamle romerske metodene...
  20. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    Ja då hade man lärt sig sina dominativ och pluskvamperfekt!



    BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!
  21. JediLynx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2000
    star 5
    - But I'm not dead yet!
  22. Lilu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 15, 2000
    star 3
    Brian. The babe they called 'Brian',
    He grew,... grew, grew, and grew--
    Grew up to be-- grew up to be
    A boy called 'Brian'--
    A boy called 'Brian'.
    He had arms... and legs... and hands... and feet,
    This boy... whose name was 'Brian',
    And he grew,... grew, grew, and grew--
    Grew up to be--
    Yes, he grew up to be
    A teenager called 'Brian'--
    A teenager called 'Brian',
    And his face became spotty.
    Yes, his face became spotty,
    And his voice dropped down low
    And things started to grow
    On young Brian and show
    He was certainly no--
    No girl named 'Brian',
    Not a girl named 'Brian'.

    And he started to shave
    And have one off the wrist
    And want to see girls
    And go out and get pissed,
    A man called 'Brian'--
    This man called 'Brian'--
    The man they called 'Brian'--
    This man called 'Brian'!

    En genial sang - Jeg kan ikke forstå hvorfor min ven Brian ikke er enig med mig. Kan i? ;)
  23. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    He's got a wife you know....
  24. Karoline Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2001
    star 4
    She's called Incontinentia...
    ... Incontinentia Buttox...


    Og introen er bare herlig;
    //dramatisk musikk i bakgrunnen

    Judea, year 33 A.D.

    Saturday afternoon

    About teatime...
  25. Maladour-Fei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2000
    star 5
    Ja... Är det några som kan det där med förtexter så är det Monty Python!

    Scenen i Holy Grail där Lancelot (John Cleese) springer, springer och springer mot the swompcastle är ju helt lysande!!!!
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