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Saga - ST Something in Kylo Ren's shoe--A Millicent the Cat story, Part 15 (Update 12/11) Three Cats

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by gizkaspice, Sep 11, 2017.

  1. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Another great installment, go Blackie!
     
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  2. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    Well, Blackie DID find the information most vital to the First Order! Too bad it was useless for the Resistance. For all Snoke's high-minded talk about Millicent's importance, she does seem like a wonderful distraction. If every single trooper had his own kitty...

    Go Team Blackie! (I'm biased. His Majesty is a black kitty.)
     
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  3. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Padawan star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2017
    Darth Vader pajamas and Lightsaber undies... LOLOL [face_laugh]

    I'm surprised at how patiently Kylo handled the situation with people barging into his room. He's starting to grow up. Leia would be proud.
     
  4. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Glad you liked it and welcome to the silliness! I would like to have a cardboard battlecruiser myself, haha.

    Thanks for the comment! I love Blackies, too. Also the Semi-Blackies. I read they are also very intelligent cats and from my experience this is true!

    He finally ditched the diapers and got pull-ups. He's a big kid now!
     
  5. Ridley Solo

    Ridley Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2010
    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]
    I literally cannot stop laughing at this! Hux having a cat is perfect because he's such a snob...like cats. Leia still babying her 'baby' is hysterical, as if Kylo's childish ranting.
    Go Blackie! Bring Kylo back to the light side! =D=
     
  6. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Brave, brave Blackie! Taking such ginormous risks to bring info to the Resistance, and then Hux does all that fuss for Millicent's birthday plan, and she has to put up not only with Kylo's pyjamas and underwear, but naked Kylo with only his helmet on – which, quite frankly, is enough to traumatise any sensible kitten. We're going to need an "Blackie and Millie pay a visit to the shrink" episode in the future.

    I loved Phasma's trick to get Millicent to nod. Also, is it my impression or is Millicent playing matchmaker here?

    [face_laugh]
     
  7. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks for dropping by and the kind review! The resemblance is definitely appropriate LOL.
    And Kylo needs to grow up—but it looks like Blackie is helping him in that department so maybe he’ll improve.

    Poor, poor Blackie….Leia has no idea what that little kitten has seen being around him.
    Your impression is correct! Millicent is definitely playing matchmaker—this is because she knows Phasma will never take the initiative. A cat needs to intervene. Always the cat.
     
  8. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    An Update!

    Note: Mistress_Renata suggested the plot bunny of Millicent taking a pill--I tried to incorporate that somehow but it really needs its own chapter probably.

    Part 12: The Vet

    Aboard the Finalizer, Kylo Ren approached Hux’s office and noticed that Captain Phasma was talking to him again.This was suspicious—why was she hanging out with him almost all the time? He knocked on the glass door and pointed up at Blackie sitting on his helmet.

    Hux turned to Phasma after noticing him loitering outside his office. “My apologies. We’re going to have to set up another appointment, Captain. I promised Ren to have his kitten checked out by our vet.”

    “No problem, General,” she answered, standing up from her seat.

    “Would you do me a favour?” he asked suddenly as he packed Millicent into her pet carrier. “My secretaries keep mysteriously disappearing. Would you mind taking up the vacant position? This must be out of your comfort zone but---”

    “Not at all, sir,” said Phasma, already making herself comfy in the big chair at his desk. This was because she was actually the one behind all the secretaries leaving, but she knew he would never find out. “You may go now.”

    “Don’t hestitate to call me should you require anything,” he said as he walked out with Millicent in her carrier.

    Captain Phasma replied with a thumbs up and waited until he and Kylo Ren were gone before picking up the comlink. “Is this Officer Alis Ebu? This is General Hux’s secretary. Consider yourself fired. No, I’m not telling you why. Just beat it, dollface.” She disconnected and sat back as she made herself some instant coffee.

    ***
    The duo was making their way towards the sick bay area of the Star Destroyer and they stopped at an office that was isolated from the medical sectors. The name, “Dr. Tana, First Order Veterinarian” was embossed in tiny letters beside the office. A woman was waiting for them, dressed in a white medical coat and a stethoscope over her neck. “General Hux, you have brought Millicent for her annual wellness check-up?”

    “Yes,” he said, and then motioned towards the masked man and the kitten sitting on his helmet. “I hope you don’t mind me bringing in another patient.”

    “Hi,” said Kylo Ren and pointed to the kitten on his helmet. “This is Blackie. Her name is Blackie cause she’s black, like the Dark Side and Darth Vader. It’s a cool color. You wanna see her up close?”

    “Uh…yes,” said Dr. Tana, slightly appalled by his childishness. “I’ll get to her. General, please bring Millicent on the table for examination.”

    Hux opened the pet carrier and dragged Millicent out despite her struggles and hissing and placed her on the examination table.

    Dr. Tana performed a wellness check. “Her health is excellent. She could lose a bit of weight though. I can give her a weight-loss pill for this and it should work gradually over a period of days.” As she tried to give her the pill, Millicent dodged every attempt. Dr. Tana tried to put it in some food, but Millicent spat it out at her face. Kylo Ren proceeded to give the feline the pill. He opened her mouth using the Force so Dr. Tana could take over. “Very good, Mr. Ren,” commented Dr. Tana. “Now what’s wrong with your cat?”

    “Blackie’s eyes move back and forth sometimes like she’s up to no good,” explained Ren.

    Tana performed an ophthalmic exam on the kitten and checked her reflexes. “There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. Her cornea is clear; there’s no discharge. Does she do this often?”

    “Only relating to matters of the First Order,” clarified Hux.

    “Or like, when something suspicious happens, and we don’t know who did it, then she does this,” added Ren.

    “Uh…..yeah. Allow me to perform a full examination to ease your doubts.” After a few moments, she looked to Kylo Ren in surprise. “Are you aware Blackie is a boy?”

    Kylo shifted his eyes under his helmet. General Hux was laughing internally at this bombshell revelation even though his face was totally expressionless. Millicent was not surprised; she already knew this before the humans did.

    “Mr. Ren, clearly you can’t tell between a male and a female cat. Have your parents ever told you about the birds and the bees?”

    “Um…” He recalled a very distant conversation about the topic with Han Solo when he was a child, but he didn’t remember learning anything significant.

    “Hey, Ben,” called Han Solo, slapping his knee as he waited for his son to sit on his lap. “Your mom told me to talk to you about the birds and the bees. Come on, let’s just get this over with so we can all go home.” He cleared his throat nervously as he resumed the dreadful conservation. “Sooo….The birds and the bees. It’s like jumping into hyperspace. The birds are like precise calculations. The bees are supernovas. Without precise calculations, the birds will fall into the bees, and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?”

    Recalling that as an adult, Kylo Ren still wasn’t sure what that conversation meant. “Something about hyperspace and supernovas?” he asked the vet.

    “Sir, are you aware where babies come from?” asked Dr. Tana more sternly, making him blush under his helmet. “Blackie needs to be neutered soon. Are you aware of this?”

    “Dr. Tana, consider neutering Ren,” suggested Hux as he turned sinisterly to him. “Perhaps he’ll be more docile, less destructive, and we don’t need him breeding anyways.”

    Kylo Ren clenched the handle of his lightsaber tightly. “Sounds like you’re asking for a major ass kicking there, General.”

    “I take it you guys really hate each other or something?” asked Dr. Tana.

    “Pretty much,” answered Kylo. “Imagine being around this prig.”

    “Imagine being around an annoying colleague who comes to work cosplaying as Darth Vader,” added Hux.

    Kylo glared. “You leave Darth Vader out of this!”

    The veterinarian rolled her eyes and kicked them both out of her office promptly before a rooster fight broke out between them.

    ***
    Back in his room, Kylo Ren was musing as he sat on his bed. “Can’t believe you’re actually a dude, Blackie,” mumbled Ren as he pet the kitten. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re a girl. Now I have to tell you a bunch of secrets.” Blackie listened in closely, recording everything as he continued. “I think Phasma secretly has a crush on someone. Also, don’t tell anyone this but the best way to destroy Starkiller Base is to hit the thermal oscillator.”

    Blackie shifted his eyes suspiciously and excitedly. Ding, ding, ding, bingo!

    ********
    Next time....Kylo is just being Kylo.
     
  9. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Padawan star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2017
    "The birds and the bees? Something about jumping into hyperspace?" LOL Has he even hit puberty, yet?
     
  10. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Good Lord, he never got the talk did he?
     
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  11. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    He did, it's just that...it was HAN giving the talk, so...

    This is so funny. Kylo finds out that Blackie is a dude. Phasma getting rid of Hux's secretaries! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Millie on weightloss pills. I'm jealous that Kylo can use the Force to pill her; I wish I could do that trick! And the fact that they give Blackie an eye test due to the shifty-eye thing... [face_laugh] And Kylo dropping the secret of Starkiller base to bond with his kitty.

    You just keep killing it, gizkaspice! This bunny is a thing of beauty. @};-
     
  12. Ridley Solo

    Ridley Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2010
    [face_laugh] Oh. My. Goodness... [face_laugh]

    Blackie's a BOY...and Kylo didn't even notice!? How old is he, again?

    All right, Blackie got some inside info on how to get rid of Starkiller base! Hopefully Mommy Solo can put it to good use soon! :cool:
     
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  13. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks for the reads/comments! :)
    Probably……….not? Someone had to tell him his cat was actually a dude so........


    Leia had full trust in Han giving their son “the Talk” but Han just went on about hyperspace and now poor Kylo is just confused. Maybe Chewie should have given him “the Talk” instead.

    Thanks! I tried to give your plot bunny justice, but I too realized it’s hard to give a cat a pill. There’s hiding it in food or trying to open a cat’s mouth which can leave you with a nasty bite—the Force could come in handy there for sure.

    I'm gonna guess he just didn't really bother to...check? But it's hard to...well..not notice..........Kylo is a lost cause. LOL
    Mommy Solo will put that info to use quite soon :D
     
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  14. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Probably time for an update of some kind.

    Part 13: Kylo is just being Kylo

    In the main security camera room on Starkiller base, General Armitage Hux and Captain Phasma were overlooking the live security footage on numerous holographic screens. Millicent sat happily on her owner’s lap while they turned their attention to a screen that showed a few stormtroopers at a bench together. FG-5622 was sitting with orange cat-shaped ear muffs and raising his arms up and down. “Millicent rules!”

    “Hey, Twenty-Two, what’s with you and Millicent?” asked his pal, FG-5625. “We’re all getting a bit worried about you….”

    FG-5624 answered. “You know when we swore allegiance to Millicent? Well, Twenty-Two went insane and is just obsessed with that cat now. Poor guy.”

    “Were you aware of this defect, Phasma?” asked Hux as he set his tea cup down on the coaster in the security room.

    “Absolutely no idea, sir,” answered Phasma, pretending to be clueless about FG-5622’s issue as she played a cat-collecting game on his datapad.

    Suddenly, Kylo Ren barged inside with Blackie sitting on his helmet. “What are you two doing in the security room!? You’re supposed to be looking for the droid with the map to Skywalker!”

    “We’re getting to that, Ren,” announced Hux. “We’re scanning for any more traitors in the ranks.”

    Kylo Ren stared at all the screens in the room before turning to them. “Yeah, right! You guys are probably spying on people for no reason again! You’re like a pair of evil snails!”

    “Evil snails?” asked Phasma, sipping a drink with a straw.

    He suddenly noticed Phasma was sipping a drink without taking her helmet off. How the heck was that even possible? “Hey, Phasma. You ever take off your helmet?”

    “……No.”

    “Why not? You got a pimple or something? I always wear my helmet during acne-breakouts. Makes me less self-conscious.”

    “Ren just hit puberty,” announced the young officer as he whispered to her. “That probably explains his immaturity.”

    Kylo Ren stared at them suspiciously. “Why are you always hanging out together anyways? Bet there’s something between you guys…..”

    Phasma turned away and blushed under her helmet at the very idea. “Uh…What a preposterous concept,” she said timidly.

    Kylo Ren sensed her hesitation through the Force and glared at her. “Got a little secret there you wanna share with the class?”

    She glared back and pointed two V-sign fingers at her helmet sensors and then pointed the same fingers at Kylo Ren in an “I’m watching you” gesture. Kylo motioned his hands in a ‘come at me bro’ gesture.

    Hux narrowed his eyes at them irksomely. “Why do I feel I’m out of the loop on something here?”

    “Meoorrrwwwwwww,” meowed Millicent loudly suddenly to divert their attention to something else before idiot Kylo ruined her plans.

    “What’s wrong with your siren for a cat?” asked Kylo, glaring at the feline with the open mouth.

    “She’s distressed by your very existence,” replied the General as he stroked the feline’s ginger fur. “Millicent has distinctive calls and I know the differences between them all.”

    Just then, he received a call from one of the officers upstairs. “General, we have a tip from one of our spies that the droid we are looking for is on Takodana in Maz Kanata’s castle. Also, she said someone said something bad about Millicent.”

    Hux replied to the officer impassively. “Send a complimentary fruit basket from the First Order to the spy and a free one-month subscription to Millicent’s newsletter.” He disconnected before turning to Kylo Ren. “The droid is on Takodana. Proceed to destroy the planet for the terrible thing they said about Millicent.”

    Kylo Ren shot a glare at him. “We’re not blowing up another planet just because someone hurt Millicent’s feelings again.”

    “Do not question General Hux’s decisions!” warned Phasma.

    Kylo turned his helmet towards her sternly. “And now you agree with everything he says, too?”

    “He promised to arrange a cat for me.”

    “I said maybe,” clarified Hux.

    “If she gets a cat, I want a cool evil trampoline and a Darth Vader cat convertible for Blackie,” declared Kylo, folding his arms across his chest like a boss. Blackie’s eyes were shifting suspiciously as he remained recording everything in the room, and even his tail was acting like an antenna.

    “You ain’t getting nothing and your cat is acting weird,” said Phasma suddenly, noticing the kitten’s activities. “Bet she’s some kind of a spy secretly recording information about us at this very moment.” The black kitten’s eyes widened at this accusation.

    “No way, Blackie’s cool,” said Kylo Ren, holding the kitten protectively. “You leave her alone!”

    “Him,” pointed out Hux while Millicent caught her claws in his uniform again. He whispered to the Captain: “He just found out Blackie is a boy.”

    “Blackie’s a boy?” asked Captain Phasma, turning to the masked man with the kitten. “And you didn’t even notice? Whoa, epic fail."

    “Priggish cat butt kissers!” screamed Kylo as he kicked an innocent chair. He then ignited his lightsaber furiously and walked out of the room. The security screen soon showed him walking in destroying benches and chairs, while a group of stormtroopers squealed in terror. He stormed into the general employer’s lounge and smashed the coffee maker machine after he couldn't figure out how to use it. Blackie sat terrified on his helmet until he peed on him again.

    ***
    Later back in Kylo Ren’s room, Blackie was hastily making yet another secret transmission to Leia in his secret cardboard box.

    “This is great, Blackie! I knew you could do it! Send me everything my son has told you—everything.”

    Blackie nodded as he adjusted his mini headset and began transmitting the data from the voice recorder on his collar.

    “Can you get the blue prints, Blackie?"

    ****
    Next time....Kylo introduces Blackie to Rey!
     
  15. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2016
    More Huxma and Millicent sends Kylo packing, great chapter! :)
     
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  16. Ridley Solo

    Ridley Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2010
    Atta boy, Blackie. Get that intel to Leia! [face_dancing]

    Kylo JUST hit puberty!?!? THAT explains a lot! [face_laugh]
     
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  17. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks! Glad you liked it. Moar Huxma is a good thing, am i right? Just a matter of time before Millicent will send him packing............for good!

    Thanks for the comment! Blackie is great. :D And Kylo is....well, finally growing up.........hopefully.....maybe. Leia would be proud of that achievement.
     
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  18. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    The complimentary fruit basket and the newsletter subscription! [face_laugh]

    Millicent trying to get Hux & Phasma together! [face_laugh]

    Poor FG-5622! [face_laugh]

    But above all, this...
    [face_rofl][face_rofl][face_rofl][face_skull]
     
  19. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks for the comment! The real reason for Hosnian Prime's destruction revealed! (Don't mess with Millicent's feelings!)

    Gonna throw in the next installment---if you've had an unhappy day, this chapter may brighten your mood!

    Warning: Pretty funny, Kylo is creepy, mention of washrooms and other things.


    Part 14: Kylo Tries to Talk to Gurl

    Back on the Resistance base on D’Qar, General Leia-Organa was reviewing Blackie’s latest transmissions as everyone gathered around the command center. “Our spy has informed us that we can destroy Starkiller Base by hitting the thermal oscillator. He’s sending us the blueprints right now.”

    “Hey, yo, I also have blue….prints…” mumbled Finn sadly, feeling useless now.

    “Also,” resumed Leia, as she read the rest of the report transmitted. “It appears that….uh…….Phasma has a crush on someone? Inter….esting…” She wondered if maybe she should have told Blackie to be more selective in his data collection.

    Finn’s eyes widened in terror. “Phasma has a crush!? PHASMA has a CRUSH!?” He immediately ran to puke in the washroom at the very thought of his ex-boss having feelings.

    Poe Dameron shook his head as he watched Finn rush to the washroom. “Good thing we don’t have any crushes, am I right, BB-8?”

    “Bee boo bee boo,” answered BB-8.

    “That’s right, buddy.” agreed Poe, giving a thumbs up. “’Bee boo bee boo’ is the answer to all things in life.”

    ****

    “So, uh. instead of getting the droid, I just got this random girl instead,” Kylo Ren was saying as he entered the main office on Starkiller Base while holding the unconscious Rey over his shoulder. “I think she’ll totally like me though and---”

    “Stupid Kylo Ren not following orders again,” chuckled Captain Phasma under her helmet as she sat on the big chair and spun around to face him. She stroked Millicent as the cat sat on her lap like a boss. The feline was wearing a little black officer’s cap.

    Kylo glared at her. “Why are you his secretary?”

    Phasma glared back at him. “Don’t ask. Listen, I know you know what I don’t want someone else to know so you better keep your mouth shut.”

    “Is that a threat?”

    “Maybe,” she replied as she turned to observe a motivation poster of military cats dressed in cute uniforms. “You better not cross me. I’ve trained Millicent well and she is faithful to me. I can do more than just get her to crap in your shoe or piss on your face.”

    Millicent meowed evilly at him. “…uh…..freaky,” mumbled Kylo uneasily as he slowly backed out of the office.

    ***
    Rey woke up, strapped to a strange metallic chair. She couldn’t believe how stupid she was getting captured by the enemy. She looked around, noticing a litter box and a scratching post in the corner of the room. “Where am I?”

    The masked man sitting across from her answered: “You’re my guest.”

    “Where are the others?” she demanded.

    “Do you mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to hear I have no idea.” There was a slight pause as he sighed. “You still want to kill me…”

    Rey shot a glare at him. “That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask….”

    He finally stood up and slowly took off the metallic gear on his head, throwing it aside into a tray of ashes that was oddly covered with ginger fur. The masked creature was a handsome young man.

    “Tell me about the droid,” he said, his voice calm.

    “He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and—“

    “You must be hungry. You want some skittles? Wanna taste the rainbow?”

    Rey blinked in confusion. “….What?”

    Kylo Ren unwrapped a small candy bag and came close to her face while munching loudly. “They’re really good. Want some?”

    Rey cringed as he made the “nom nom nom” noises of chewing close to her ear. She felt his saliva showering her skin. She closed her eyes, wishing for him to go away. “You’re spitting in my face…..”

    “Oh, sorry,” said Kylo Ren. “You like the red skittles?”

    “No!”

    Kylo Ren popped another skittle into his mouth and continued munching loudly. The eating noises were driving her crazy. “Kay. Continue.”

    “He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and---“

    “You like Blackie?” asked Kylo Ren suddenly.

    “Who the friggin’ hell is Blackie?” she asked, losing her patience.

    Kylo Ren pulled out a small black kitten from under his cloak. “Her name is Blackie cause she’s black, like the Dark Side and Darth Vader. It’s a cool color. You wanna see her up close?”

    Rey turned her head away in repulsion as she spat. “Stop! You’re shoving her butt into my face!!”

    “Oh, sorry,” said Kylo Ren, setting the kitten down. “Haha. Wrong side.”

    Rey sighed, now having Kylo Ren spit, bits of candy, and cat-butt on her face. “Do you want to know about the droid or not!?”

    “Just a sec,” said Kylo Ren. “Answer me a question first: You think Blackie is better than Millicent?”

    “WHO THE HELL IS MILLICENT?!”

    “General Hux’s cat. She’s a ginger tabby and is the same color as his hair.”

    “HE HAS A CAT, TOO!? WHAT’S WITH YOU PEOPLE HERE AND CATS!?”

    “Hey, shhhhhhh,” whispered Kylo Ren, putting his finger to his lips. “Use your inner voice. You want some ice cream? You look kind of angry.”

    Rey twitched in her strapped seat, wishing she could break free and punch him. “I DON’T WANT ANY ICE CREAM!”

    “I’m gonna get some ice cream for us.” He smiled at her as he placed his helmet back on and walked towards the door. Suddenly, Rey saw him throwing the helmet off as he coughed up orange fur. He screamed and rushed towards the washroom after realizing Millicent had used the ash tray as her litter box.

    As soon as he left, Blackie went to the rescue and jumped onto the interrogation chair. He pressed a button with his paw and instantly the straps that coiled around Rey retracted back to their places.

    “Thanks, Blackie!” she said. “But….why are you helping me?” Blackie replied with a slow wink and jumped onto her shoulder. Rey giggled and ran out the door hastily.

    ***
    Next time....Starkiller go boom!
     
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  20. Ridley Solo

    Ridley Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2010
    Hahaha, Finn gets nauseous since Phasma has a crush! [face_laugh]

    Ugh, Millicent using the ashes as a bathroom....sick, cat. SICK!!! [face_sick]

    Kylo really is hopeless...Skittles, then ice cream? With his level of maturity (or lack thereof) I'm wondering if he always remembers to brush his teeth without Mommy reminding him....:p

    Good boy, Blackie, helping Rey out of her restraints! =D= Can't wait for the next installment!
     
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  21. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Yikes, did I let THREE updates go by without leaving a review! I'm correcting this straight away.

    The Vet

    The Huxma idea that started out as a throwaway mention seems to have become a minor obsession in this story [face_laugh] The bit about Phasma getting rid of Hux's secretaries one after the other had me laughing out loud – but then I laughed even louder at Han's explanation of "the birds and the bees". Now wonder Ben Solo turned out to be a problematic youth if that's the sex education he got from Dad!

    Doctor Tana is clever. “I take it you guys really hate each other or something?” Who would've thunk? [face_rofl]
    Yes, yes, YES! Blackie, you've hit gold! Now get that info to the Resistance!

    Kylo is just being Kylo

    This entry was peppered with so many gems that I can't list them all. A few favourites: FG-5622's orange cat-shaped ear muffs, the cat-collecting game on Hux's datapad (is that the First Order version of Candy Crush?), Kylo sensing the Huxma vibe through the Force, Millicent the Matchmaker, and the complimentary fruit basket from the First Order and free one-month subscription to Millicent’s newsletter [face_rofl]

    I also loved how Blackie ends up peeing on Kylo again. What a brave little cat! And finally, the info gets to the Resistance, although I imagine Leia will be somewhat puzzled by all these shenanigans!


    Kylo Tries to Talk to Gurl

    More feline gems: Millicent's black officer’s cap and the motivation poster of military cats dressed in cute uniforms. I just about died here.

    So Phasma is still Hux's secretary, uh? I'm curious to know where you'll have Finn capturing her if you decide to follow that particular plotline. By the way, Finn's reaction to the Huxma news was priceless!

    The Rey interrogation scene was perfect! It started almost seriously and then went completely whacky, what with the candy, the cat poop in Vader's ashes and therefore Kylo's helmet [face_sick] and,most importantly, Our Hero Blackie saving Rey. I hope he gets a medal when they get back to D'Qar!

    Can't wait for the next update. This plot bunny is the gift that keeps giving!
     
  22. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks for the comment!
    Millicent takes every chance to ridicule Kylo. She must be getting that influence from somewhere….
    And Kylo has no idea how to talk to gurl. I mean, Rey is ticked off with having spit, candy and catbutt on her face and he suggests ice cream. Because that makes sense, right? I’m sure Leia probably has to remind him to wear clean underwear.

    No worries. Thank you for the comments :) Now I'm going to try my best to reply to these wonderful comments:
    The Huxma idea definitely started out as a random mention, but it ended up getting explored more even though it’s really more of a one-sided Huxma at this point.
    And Han….I don’t know why Leia even trusted him to explain the birds and the bees to poor Ben. No wonder he’s so hopeless!

    She probably knows what's going on but keeps her mouth shut---I imagine her salary must be triple that of any other vet in the galaxy.

    It would be more like a version of Neko Atsume.

    Blackie pees on him all the way---but he’s obviously using it as a defensive strategy. Otherwise he’s well potty trained (Kylo, on the other hand, is not). :p

    Millicent's hat will become more important in the next chapter.
    She’s taking this whole secretary thing very seriously for her own purposes. And I'll add a section about Finn and that just for you ;)

    Thanks! I aimed for a serious tone and then break out the LOLs. Blackie will get a medal and maybe a Resistance ship will be named after him--- the “Blackie.”

    Gonna try and do that. This plot bunny is definitely giving gifts--a cat would be proud. Wait....did you mean something else? :p
     
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  23. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    He really, really is. He's got that vibe of the creepy guy in Algebra class who is trying so hard to impress you...but you're actually creeped out. I hope Leia wasn't counting on grandkids.

    First Finn, now Rey...at this rate, the only cat-lover in the Resistance will be Leia!

    I dunno... the Black Cat sounds like a great name for a Resistance Ship!

    Loving it, gizkaspice. You just keep bringing the A-game! @};-
     
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  24. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Leia probably counts on grand-kittens from Blackie though! I can totally see her as a cat person. And what a great name for a ship!---The Black Cat!

    Gonna post the next installment now before boards go boom. It's a bit fragmented as it has too many storylines but I tried to add as much LOL’s as possible and the only thing I’m missing is mention of an ANGRY MACE™ cat product I think. Thanks for everyone who read/reviewed :)

    Part 15: Three Cats

    Rey passed through the corridors with Blackie on her shoulder before stopping briefly at the printing and publishing room. She peeked in curiously, hiding behind the wall.

    “Why is there a typo in Millicent’s recent newsletter?!” demanded General Hux. “It says Millicent is a cat butt with a hat! It’s supposed to say ‘Millicent is a cat BUT with a hat!’”

    “Well, your handwriting is hard to read, General,” said Phasma as she worked on the main computer. “Besides, nobody will notice that extra ‘t’.”

    “How can anyone not notice that?!”

    “Okay, whoa, just chill,” she said, making calming gestures with her hands. “I’m pretty sure nobody will notice.”

    “Haha,” laughed Rey to herself quietly before running off back into the corridor.

    ***

    Finn, Han and Chewie stumbled in the thick snow towards the interior base of Starkiller after crash landing the Millennium Falcon. Suddenly, Finn saw something in the distance. His eyes widened, dumbfounded by the sight. “Is that a new ski resort? THEY HAVE A NEW SKI RESORT!? That’s…so…..awesome!”

    Chewie growled annoyingly. “You got that right, Chewie,” muttered Han Solo. “I feel like kicking his ass, too.”

    After storming the base, they captured the stormtrooper Captain just as she was leaving the printing room. “I’m in charge now, Phasma!” screamed Finn. “I’m in charge! I’m in---“ He then remembered that gross thing he heard back on D’Qar and felt the sudden urge to puke. “You have a crush!? Eww! EW!”

    Han narrowed his eyes at him. “How is that even relevant!?”

    “It’s just weird, okay?! It’s like that weird feeling you get when a squishy thing’s in your shoe, and you’re all, WHOA, MAN! There’s a squishy thing in my shoe and I hope it ain’t Millicent’s crap again!”

    Han shook his head and turned to Phasma, motioning a gesture towards Finn who was still going on about being in charge and cat poop in shoes. “He’s an idiot…”

    ***

    After dumping Captain Phasma in the trash compactor and reuniting with Rey, Finn eyed the ginger tabby in the corridor. He motioned to the others. “Wait, guys….I have some unfinished business…I’ll catch up with you.”

    Millicent was waiting, as though she had been preparing for this day ever since he escaped from the First Order. She was wearing her little black officer’s cap and glared at him, her tail thumping against the floor as her pupils constricted to two narrow slits.

    “So, we meet again,” said Finn as he loaded his blaster. “Evil cat. I see you have a little hat. It’s kind of cute. NOT!” Millicent growled, bearing her fangs.

    “Do you wanna go?” asked Finn as his hands began shaking in fury. “I said….DO YOU WANNA GO, CAT!?”

    Millicent ran towards him, hissing; Finn ran towards her, howling a battle cry. She was just about to pounce and latch onto his face like a killer leech when he dodged, watching as the cat fell into a pile of cardboard boxes. “You’ve been pwned, cat! Sad!” said Finn as he made a fist pump in victory before running back after the others.

    Millicent crawled out of the cardboard box maze, realizing that the ex-stormtrooper was gone. As she went out in search of him, her sensitive ears sensed Phasma in the trash compactor. She pressed a button on the control panel with her nose that allowed the stormtrooper Captain to escape. “Meow,” she mewed before running off into the corridors.

    ***
    “Give me back my cat,” demanded Kylo Ren as he ignited his lightsaber in the forest.

    “Blackie doesn’t like you!” called Rey back.

    “Nobody likes you, man! You’re annoying!” added Finn. Blackie suddenly jumped from Rey’s shoulder onto Finn’s shoulder. He exhaled a high-pitched scream. “Ahhh! Cat!”

    “It’s OK, Finn!” reassured Rey. “Blackie is on our side!”

    Blackie gave Finn a slow wink. Finn looked at the small cat before they exchanged a paw-fist pump. “Yeah, man!”

    “Stay away from my cat!” bawled Kylo Ren as he slashed at the ex-stormtrooper with his lightsaber, watching as he fell into the snow. Blackie returned to Rey promptly, terrified of his rage.

    “Hey, man, you can’t just do that to my friends!” cried Rey and kicked his butt. But it was only thanks to Blackie’s expertise as a spy that the First Order was actually defeated.

    ***

    General Hux rushed into Snoke’s lair hastily as the walls crumbled around him. “Supreme Leader. The fuel cells have ruptured. The collapse of the planet has begun!”

    “Leave the base at once. Is Millicent alright?” asked Snoke as his holographic image flickered.

    “Yes, she’s alright. I have her in her carrier,” he said, raising the pet carrier up as Millicent meowed angrily inside. “See?”

    “Good. I was afraid of something happening to her,” said Snoke, sighing in relief. “Bring Kylo Ren to me as well. It’s time to complete his training.”

    ***

    Kylo Ren lay in the snow as he mused. He killed his dad; some random girl beat him; and now the Resistance stole his cat. He looked up weakly and saw an image form before him. “Hey, Ben,” said the Force Ghost of Han Solo before flipping him off.

    Kylo was sure he must have been hallucinating from the blood loss because the next thing he saw was Anakin Skywalker’s Force Ghost, who flipped him off before disappearing. “Get your act together, man!”

    A pair of stormtroopers picked him up and prepared to place him inside a shuttle. “Sir, where should we put him on the shuttle?” asked one of the troopers.

    “Well, just dump him somewhere,” ordered General Hux, waving his hand passively. “Be careful not to damage any of Millicent’s cat furniture and portraits.”

    And so, with only a moment to spare, they escaped before the planet exploded including all the innocent flora and fauna and sanitary workers.

    Epilogue:

    Aboard the Finalizer later on, Captain Phasma appeared out of nowhere on the main bridge. “We were beginning to fear for you, Phasma,” said the General as he turned towards her while Millicent rolled around on the control panels like she owned the place. “Where were you?”

    She shifted her eyes suspiciously under her helmet. “Uh…somewhere…else.”

    Hux carefully handed her a small box with air holes. “Regardless, I have been meaning to give something to you. You have always been an excellent emissary of Millicent.”

    Phasma opened the box and a silver kitten stared back at her. She was of the Burmilla cat breed and her fur matched the shine of the stormtrooper Captain’s armour perfectly. “I knew you always kept your promises. I shall call her “Tinny” and she shall have armour. I will also place her on my helmet whenever I see Kylo Ren to deliberately piss him off.”

    “Nice try,” muttered Kylo as he walked weakly towards the window and stared at the starry space. “But I will get my Blackie back and she will be the most powerful cat ever. You’ll see!”

    “He,” reminded Phasma. “Your cat’s a boy, remember?”

    “Can I check your cat and compare? Maybe the vet made a mistake,” said Kylo nervously. “I mean…uh…can you show me how to…..uh…check?”

    The Burmilla kitten peered from outside the box at him and specifically stared at his shoes slyly. That seemed like a good place to leave a surprise, she thought…..
     
  25. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2016
    That's the end? I was hoping for more, at least Phasma has her own kitty now. Cuteness overload! Loved Anakin's interaction with Kylo, grandson really does need to get a life. Will you write a sequel?