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Saga - ST Something in Kylo Ren's shoe--A Millicent the Cat story, Part 15 (Update 12/11) Three Cats

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by gizkaspice, Sep 11, 2017.

  1. Findswoman

    Findswoman Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    [face_rofl] Catching up—so much fun to see the feline highjinks continuing! I am sure Millicent is an absolute ace at ice-skating—love that image!—and the vet visit was absolutely hilarious, with the contrast between Kylo's teen-boy immaturity and the vet's deadpan. Fun to see FG-5622 back in action, and I see he's a man with a very specific plan... one that seems to be working very, very well! :p On the other side of the galactic conflict, I see the fantastic Blackie is progressing in his career, too—Poe couldn't ask for a better wingmate, I'm sure. And Holdo's purple poodle is just the icing on the cake! :D Keep up the feline fun! =D=
     
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  2. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    Soo much good stuff here! You just keep bringing it, @gizkaspice! =D==D=

    Loved this line!

    I am thinking Tana and Phasma could do some girl bonding, at this point... They both like cats, they both work with idiots...:cool:

    Gasp! THE PLOT THICKENS!!!

    Cripes, Rey, bringing him back to the light is one thing, but now you want miracles?! :kylo:[face_laugh]
    I am wondering, now, if FG-5622 has a brother... :nttrooper:
     
  3. NobodyIX

    NobodyIX Jedi Padawan star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 19, 2018
    I love that General Hux's response to the vet visit is to hire an assassin! Because weight gain causes diabetes, heart disease and obesity.[face_laugh]

    And FG-5622 gets the best lines! :D

    I can just see the newspapers with the cats in military uniforms... oh my![face_laugh]

    [face_laugh]

    LIsten to Finn everyone! He knows what he's talking about!

    Thank you for updating! Can't wait for the next! Millicent Rules!
     
  4. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Every time I come to this thread I find myself grinning like a goofy fangirl. Millicent rules!

    So, one important mystery I noticed: Kylo Ren eats poptarts. FG-5622 is covered in poptart crumbs. There are poptart bits on Dr. Tana's table. I say that there's a poptart business we need to know more about in this story.

    The scene with Dr. Tana was precious (Dr. Tana rocks, by the way, but she would have to in order to be Millicent's vet). This bit in particular:
    Yup. It's kind of scary to think that, after this visit, Dr. Tana will be thinking of Phasma as the adult in the room.

    And of course, Hux would call upon his private assassin to go after whoever made Millicent fat. FG-5622 had better be careful here, although now that he's been permanently assigned to Millicent's newsletter, no one will suspect him, right?

    The feline interpretation of the shirtless Kylo Force-skype was a gift that keeps giving. I spluttered a bit of wine on my keyboard when I reached this bit:
    [face_laugh]

    And meanwhile, in the Resistance base... OF COURSE Holdo has a purple poodle named Miss Fussy. What else would she be named? (Also, Finn does have issues, but they're probably closer to those faced by FG-5622 than by Hux or Kylo!)

    Bring on Captain Canady! *gets popcorn*
     
  5. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Kind of been a while…. And I have no idea what happened last time LOL. Thank you all for your comments and for reading!
    Some replies....

    @AzureAngel2 Glad you liked it!
    @Findswoman Thanks for reading! Millicent is an ice-skating genius! Kylo’s teen-boy maturity will never go out of style, of course! And FG-5622 is special and a lot is awaiting him…..well..you'll see what I mean.
    You may be onto something there… Could they….be lost twins!? :eek: :nttrooper::nttrooper:

    @NobodyIX Thanks, glad you liked it!

    You’re a Millicent fangirl, that’s all! [face_laugh]
    You may be onto something there as well……this mysterious poptart business….

    Oh my... [face_laugh]
    Miss Fluffy? Cleo? No wait--let's just stick to Miss Fussy. Well..of course Finn has issues similar to FG-5622 because they are probably secretly twins! ;)

    Okay then, next chapter right here:

    Chapter 22: War Cats

    Having to go to General Hux’s office was always an awkward thing to do, which is exactly why Captain Canady never did----except today. Hux had a framed picture of an orange kitten on his desk and a motivation poster of cats in cute military uniforms. There were even ceramic cat vases, one of which seemed recently glued back together. That was odd, very odd.

    Just then, a furry orange beast greeted him and began rubbing her head against his uniform, showering him with ginger fur that he would spend the rest of the morning trying to clean off. "General, what is that?"

    "What is what?"

    Canady pointed down at the tabby cat that was trying to bite his boot. "That...that cat!"

    "That's my cat, Millicent. Did Captain Peavey not inform you when you came aboard the Finalizer?"

    "Your... your what!?"

    "My cat, Millicent."

    Somehow the older man just couldn't wrap his head around the presence of this cat. "You, the General of the First Order who wiped out an entire solar system just a few weeks ago...... has a cat!?"

    "I cannot take full responsibility for the destruction of the Republic, Captain. You see, I was delivering my grand speech while Millicent was walking on the control panels and she must have pressed the button that initiated the Starkiller."

    "That cat did.....WHAT!?"

    Hux was getting annoyed at the older man's questions. "Is there a problem, Captain?"

    "Not at all, sir," chuckled Canady to himself quietly. He decided not to dwell on the furry beast as he got to the matter so he could leave as soon as possible. "General, I have been trying to contact you from the Fulminatrix for some time, but your secretary told me you were on vacation.”

    “Not at all. Please excuse Ms. P. She is still in training.”

    Canady wondered who the mysterious woman named Ms. P. was as he tried to take a seat. Millicent jumped onto the seat immediately, leaving him to stand. “I see, sir. I wanted to inform you that the Fulminatrix is---”

    He suddenly spotted a small kitten out of nowhere. Tinny had tumbled into the office and sniffed his uniform with her tiny nose. The kitten squinted at him with one eye suspiciously, and then moved on.

    “Tinny, get back here,” came Phasma’s commanding voice as she entered the office and picked up the evil kitten. She looked to the two men. “Am I interrupting something, sirs?”

    “I require more tea, Ms. P.,” demanded Hux suddenly as he pushed his tea cup towards her. “Bitter Tarine tea. And don’t put any sugar like last time.”

    Well, this was certainly getting weird very fast, he thought. "The Fulminatrix is at your service. The cannons are primed and ready, General," reported Canady rather reluctantly as he endured the cat madness.

    "If that is all you to have to report, then you are dismissed," said Hux insolently. "Please remember to subscribe to Millicent's newsletter."

    "And Tinny's newsletter," added Captain Phasma as she poured tea. "The first 50 subscriptors will receive a one-month free subscription."

    Subscribe to.......WHAT!? He realized why Captain Peavey didn't mention the cats--- the man only wanted to spare his sanity.

    Suddenly, Kylo Ren barged into the office shirtless. "You guys--- we ran out of poptarts! Kind of important. I also warned ice cream girl about this."

    Ugh, Kylo Ren, he thought. What was with the children and their damn poptarts!? Canady replied to the General with a forced smile as he made his way out of the office rather quickly. But he really should have just left the office…......five bloody minutes ago.

    ***
    Back in the print and publishing room, FG-5622 resumed working on the newsletters and enjoying every aspect of it. Maybe this was his true calling--- working on cat newsletters instead of being a soldier.

    "Millicent rules!" he cried in his chair as he worked on laying out pictures of Millicent on the main computer. Suddenly, he received a message to report to Captain Phasma's division immediately.

    He entered Phasma's division and found her hanging out with General Hux and Millicent. He wondered why they were sitting together and why there was a half-empty bottle of wine on the table.

    "FG-5622," said Phasma, motioning for him to take a seat. "Please join our secret cat club."

    "Oh, boy! Secret cat club! WHOO!" cried FG-5622 as he sat down beside them and reached for the wine. Phasma slapped his hand away and gave him a juice box instead. "General! I'm Millicent's biggest fan and, and, and---"

    "Right, right," said Hux dismissively, waving his hand for the stormtrooper to shut up. "We all know about your extensive history being Millicent's biggest fan. Captain Phasma has told me all about your talents as a graphic layout officer."

    "Millicent rules!"

    "Well then, resume producing visually appealing cat newsletters," said Hux. "Millicent's galactic prominence depends on you."

    "It is all up to you now, FG-5622," repeated Phasma ominously. "Don't fail Millicent. Consequences will follow."

    "Millicent rules!" cried the stormtrooper as he saluted and ran out with his juice box.

    "Moron," said Phasma as she watched him leave before taking off her helmet and setting it aside, brushing away a strand of blonde hair. "My secret surveillance showed FG-5622 feeding Millicent a few snacks as a reward. He responsibly hid the bag in a cabinet, but Millicent found it and ate everything."

    Millicent shifted her eyes before hiding under the table.

    "Milly has been known to get into mischief. I will call off the cat treat investigation," concluded Hux before answering a call from the veterinarian. "Yes, Dr. Tana?"

    "General, I'm informing you that the supreme, grain-free cat food you ordered for Millicent and Tinny has arrived at my office. You may pick it up at your convenience."

    "Thank you, Dr. Tana. We'll pick it up later today."

    There was a slight pause on the other side before Dr. Tana spoke again. ".... And do me a favor....."

    "Of course. What is it?"

    "Please don't bring Mr. Ren along this time......"

    *****
    Next time.... poptarts and cat shows.
     
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  6. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2016
    This was another great installment and our favorite stormtrooper is working through his brainwashing... at least I think he is.
     
  7. Ridley Solo

    Ridley Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2010
    I have fallen WAY behind....Pop tarts....Force skype....Kylo in his underwear (Lord, that kid is a mess!)....

    My hands-down favorite part HAS to be Blackie's friendship with Poe and his piloting lessons! [face_laugh] I love it! Now I want to see a kitten in an X-wing.

    Oh, wait...
     
  8. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    This is the gift that keeps on giving! Poor Captain Canady... he will join Moff Jerjerrod on my list of my favorite, much-put-upon bad guys. He took it better than I thought he would.

    Probably figured the less said the better! [face_laugh]

    Oh, I can't! [face_rofl] FG-5622 now has a MISSION! I'm glad Hux didn't send the assassin after him. Hm...could Blackie lure him away from Millicent? It's an awful lot to ask of one kitty...

    Love it, @gizkaspice! You keep bringing it!
     
  9. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Disney really should make a cartoon out of this fanfic!
     
  10. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Glad you liked it! Millicent is probably brainwashing him somehow though..…LOL

    That will happen!!

    I think FG-5622 is a Millicent fanboy at this point….. I don’t think Blackie can even try to sway his mind…. But that kitten has powers of the cute too….so who knows?!

    YES!!! Someone tell Pablo Hidalgo! This needs to be a thing immediately! Call it…. Star Wars: Millicent Rules!
     
  11. Findswoman

    Findswoman Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Fun stuff! Love how bewildered Canady is about all these crazy cats... and their newsletters. He's a perfect "straight man" for this bunch. And so much fun to see FG-5622, aka Millicent's biggest fan again! Graphic layout officer for Millicent's newsletter is about the most perfect job for him that I can think of, and it's a role I can tell he carries out with great relish. Very generous of Hux and Phasma to let him on their club; it's an offer that's clearly made his day. And it looks like Tinny, too, has jumped on the newsletter bandwagon... dueling newsletters, anyone? (As someone who edits a newsletter in real life, I am entitled to say a hearty "[face_laugh].") Keep the feline fun coming! :D
     
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  12. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    @Findswoman Dueling newsletters is right…glad you like it! :D

    Gonna post the next chapter alittle early than usual....

    Chapter 23: Cat show

    Millicent’s paw smashed the holographic planet on the large screen that was D’Qar. She sat in the middle of the table as a conference meeting took place with the main officers aboard the Finalizer.

    “We’ve tracked the Resistance; they are currently attending the intergalactic cat show competition. Ideally, we would send our fleet to bombard the planet but there are cats at stake here,” reported General Hux. “I managed to obtain the last two tickets to the show. Captain Phasma and I will attend it. We will defeat the Resistance when Millicent wins the competition.”

    "Millicent rules!" cried the officers in the room.

    Cat show, thought Captain Peavey. The Resistance is attending...a cat show....? He began to wonder if he still had some whiskey back in his quarters.

    ***
    FG-5622 was working hard in the print and publishing room on Millicent's newsletters when Kylo Ren barged inside. "Funky cat stuff going on in here," mumbled Kylo in disapproval.

    The stormtrooper stood up and saluted. "Sir! I'm working on Millicent's newsletters! Her galactic prominence depends on me, sir!"

    "More likely Phasma just made you do her work and came up with a funky cool story to convince you," said Kylo.

    FG-5622 gasped. "Wha...What? No, sir, you don't understand! Millicent's career depends on me! The First Order's revenue depends on me, sir! I'm even part of General Hux's secret cat club!"

    "Whatever, Todd," said Kylo as he looked around at all the holographic displays and smacked his lips. "Don't trust them. Hux and Phasma are gonna get married and they'll put you in a pet carrier. You're better off being my Spaghetti Expert."

    "WHAT!? I'm.....Todd? Spaghetti expert..?"

    "Listen, Todd," resumed Kylo. "My secret poptart business is running out of poptarts. Any idea what I should do?"

    "Uh.... Sir, you could order more poptarts to be made..?"

    Kylo mused on this for a moment, then pointed a poptart at the stormtrooper in approval. "Great idea, Todd. You're gonna be my Poptart Marketing Specialist."

    FG-5622 mused on this for a moment. He was now graphic layout officer, poptart marketing specialist, spaghetti expert and "Todd." This was way better than hiding in the ventilation shafts!

    ***
    The intergalactic cat show on D’Qar brought felines from every corner of the galaxy, including Persian loth-cats and green Corellian sand panthers. General Hux had enlisted Millicent into the competition at the last minute and he was certain she would win and he would be deemed best man of the year with a cat. It would be a crippling blow to the Resistance in his goal to extract revenge for the loss of Starkiller base.

    Captain Phasma was sitting next to him, attired in an elaborate stormtrooper decorated dress and a cat shaped masquerade mask which hid her face but revealed stunning blue eyes and pink lipstick. Her cat, Tinny, sat on her lap.

    “I trust you have made sure Millicent wins?” inquired General Hux strictly.

    “I have,” she replied. “Everything will proceed as you planned.”

    FG-5622 cried out in the background as Millicent walked on stage in a cute little military uniform: “Millicent rules! MILLICENT RULES!”

    “Millicent is a cat butt with a hat!” came Poe’s voice suddenly from the other side of the show.

    “HEY, MOM,” called Kylo supposedly out of nowhere as he spotted Leia. “I made you chocolate shoes!”

    Leia waved to him from her team’s section. “That’s nice, dear!”

    “Chocolate shoes?” mumbled the Force Ghost of Han Solo. “He’s an idiot…”

    “Han, be nice,” warned Leia.

    Meanwhile, Amilyn Holdo held Miss Fussy the purple poodle in her arms as she glanced around disapprovingly. "Cat show and idiots. What do we think of this Miss Fussy?" The poodle began barking mindlessly at the air.

    Kylo looked up to the First Order’s viewing balcony and pointed at them. “Hey Hux, who’s the pretty lady with you? Oh, it’s just Phasma. Hi, Phasma! You’re kind of hot.”

    Finn’s eyes widened in terror. “Phasma is hot?! PHASMA is HOT!?” His eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted into Poe’s arms.

    “His vitals are dropping, I think,” reported Poe as he held the unconscious ex-storm trooper while Rose fanned him.

    “Oh, for crying out loud….,” muttered Leia, rolling her eyes. “Don’t make us put you back in that coma, Finn.”

    “Come on, BB-8!” called Rose as she pushed the little droid onto the stage dressed like a cat. “Win for the Resistance!”

    “That’s no cat!” announced General Hux as he stood up promptly. “It’s a droid with cat ears and a tail! Disqualify them!”

    BB-8 beeped sadly and rolled away.

    “Sad beeps! Nobody hurts my friend’s feelings and gets away with it!” yelled Poe as he turned to Leia. “Let’s show them what we got!”

    Leia smiled as she opened up the secret cat carrier. Blackie stepped onto the stage like a superstar, his black fur shimmering in the artificial lights.

    “BLACKIE!” yelled Kylo. The kitten mewed to him sadly, his golden eyes shining. “Come back to me…..BLACKIE BEAT MILLICENT!” he cried, inspiring hope in the little kitten’s eyes.

    Blackie began running towards him with tiny little paws but Poe pulled him back. It was too late, anyways: the cat board judges apparently already made their selection.

    “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Please congratulate Ms. Millicent Hux, the First Order ginger tabby! This magnificent beast with her cute little uniform stole the spotlight today!”

    "Meowwww," meowed Millicent in approval.

    General Hux walked on stage and picked up the ginger tabby cat, his black uniform gleaming in the lights. “I am honored to be chosen as best man of the year with a cat. A big applause to my partner in crime, Captain Phasma, for her support and work on Millicent’s newsletters. Please subscribe to Millicent’s newsletters. The 500,000th subscriptor will receive a free, one-month subscription and a small-scale model of my ship, the Finalizer, with her authentic bite marks.”

    "And Tinny's newsletter, the Chrome Cat," added Captain Phasma. "The first 50 subscriptors will receive a one-month free subscription."

    "DEMON CATS!" yelled Finn suddenly as Poe and Rose held him back while he pointed at Millicent and Tinny.

    "MILLICENT RULES!" cried FG-5622.

    "Millicent sucks!" cried Finn back.

    "Shut up, FN-2187!"

    "You shut up, man! You're such a Millicent fanboy!"

    "Traitor, traitor, cat-hater!"

    Leia squinted her eyes annoyingly before turning to the others. “Alright...getting weird. Let’s go: we’ve distracted them long enough for our ships to escape!”

    As Leia packed Blackie into his pet carrier and made a run for it with the others, Kylo called out to her: “MOM! Give me back my cat, okay? I promise to be more responsible!”

    ****
    Next time....General Millicent!
     
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  13. Ridley Solo

    Ridley Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2010
    Uh, 'getting weird'? It passed the realm of weird a *long* time ago, Leia! o_O

    I don't know what's funnier, BB-8 in a cat outfit, poor FG-5622's various assignments (Todd? Spaghetti expert???) , Finn freaking out and fainting, or the fact it was all a ruse to let the Resistance escape! :D

    Oh, and that last line? GOLD! :cool:
     
  14. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks for the comment! I reckon Leia just hasn't been keeping up with the weirdness of the kids and their crazy cats....since, you know, Kylo 'unfriended' her from Spacebook or whatever it would be called :p
     
  15. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    “We’ve tracked the Resistance; they are currently attending the intergalactic cat show competition. Ideally, we would send our fleet to bombard the planet but there are cats at stake here,” reported General Hux. “I managed to obtain the last two tickets to the show. Captain Phasma and I will attend it. We will defeat the Resistance when Millicent wins the competition.”

    This story shows how much cats manipulate us to believe that they are important & life-saving for us. ;)

    Plus I found out that "traitor" indeed rhymes with "cat-hater". [face_laugh]
     
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  16. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    Hahahahaha! Millicent in uniform, on the cat walk... of course she won! (whether she won legally or not is another question; I wouldn't put it past Phasma to tamper with the judges' scoresheets!) A clever ruse by the Resistance, and poor Finn is clearly out of his depth.

    And FG-5622 is moving up the ladder! At this rate, he'll be Supreme Leader! And this...
    Oh, that was really sweet. Poor Kylo... yeah, he's a bad guy, but at heart, he's just an unhappy kid who wants his kitty back, and brave Blackie just wants to bring him back to the Light so he'll have a lap to snuggle in. Poe is a great guy and all, but we know where Blackie's heart is.
     
  17. Findswoman

    Findswoman Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    On the catwalk, on the catwalk, Millicent does her little turn on the catwalk! (Does she also lick her little tush on the catwalk? That would be very... in character too. :D ) Naturally she wins, unsurprisingly with such vocal admirers on the scene (namely, FG5622 aka Todd—a perfect name for him, for some reason). Though Blackie sure came close and made a mighty fine showing! Will he and Kylo be able to reunite? And will he be the one to win Kylo back to the light? That does seem like a distinct possibility. [face_thinking] Fun cameo by BB-8, too, and "very artistically done" (to use a Thrawn phrase) to stage a cat show as diversion for the Resistance's escape. The Resistance clearly knows their enemies well! :D
     
  18. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Unfortunately, this had to be put on hiatus due to DRL but….it’s back for now :) Thank you for the comments and for reading!

    Cats are master manipulators indeed....:D

    Thanks for the comment! Blackie is indeed a special kitty and knows what has to be done!

    OF COURSE! :cool:

    Will Blackie and Kylo reunite? Well..we'll see! And the cat show must have been clearly all Leia's master-mind doing..she is the ultimate cat lady afterall!

    Oh...and @Ridley Solo Kitten in an X-wing! I repeat, there is a kitten in an X-wing that will blow things up!

    Next chapter right here:

    Chapter 24: General Millicent

    The First Order fleet caught up with the Resistance just as they were escaping D'Qar. General Hux led the battle, flanked by Millicent who was sitting in her officer’s cap and giving orders to the crew. The crew was still confused why exactly the cat was in charge, but she proved to be a formidable military tactician as cats were naturally ruthless. “Ventral cannons activated, ma’am,” reported a crew member.

    Millicent mewed in response and pointed to a small escaping Resistance fighter in sector 7 on the viewing screen. “Open fire on that escaping fighter,” ordered Hux, translating the cat language.

    “General Hux speaks and understands cat fluently,” whispered Unamo to a crew member.

    The ventral cannons fired, blowing the fighter up. Millicent liked this because there was a colorful explosion and she tried to catch the sparks by scratching at the window with her paws.
    ***
    Aboard the Raddus, General Leia-Organa knew that the First Order was smart putting a cat in charge of their fleet.

    “Cat vs. cat,” said Poe suddenly as Blackie sat on his shoulder wearing a little pilot helmet. “I’ve trained Blackie to be a pilot. Permission to blow stuff up with him?”

    “Permission granted,” replied Leia and gave Blackie a cat treat.

    "Can I have one, too?" asked Poe.

    Leia stared at him. Poe was sad but Blackie decided to share half of the cat biscuit with him. They hopped into Poe's X-wing, the Black One. There was a reason it was called that---because it was named after Blackie.

    Meanwhile, the Fulminatrix obliterated the planet below now that the cat competition was over. Tinny the armored kitten was pressing colorful buttons on the control panel when she accidentally accepted a transmission by a lone X-wing.

    “Hi. This is Poe Dameron of the Republic. I have an urgent communique for Millicent the cat butt with a hat.”

    Millicent saw the X-wing moving and her instinctive response to a moving object was to kill it immediately. She ordered all torpedoes to fire on the lone ship and Poe and Blackie just barely escaped. Somehow, they still got under the shields of the Fulminatrix as Blackie used the controls to fire upon the surface cannons using his paws.

    "Good work, Blackie!" commented Poe as BB-8 beeped in approval.

    "Mew," meowed Blackie in reply as he adjusted his pilot helmet.

    Back on the Fulminatrix, Captain Canady watched the X-wing zoom by as a sudden small hologram of the ginger weasel appeared on the control panel.

    "Captain Canady, why aren't you blasting that puny ship!?" demanded General Hux.

    "That puny ship has a cat onboard. We can't fire on any ship with cats onboard, as per your policy," reported Canady annoyingly as he turned away. "Bloody cats...."

    "Captain, that cat is taking out all our surface cannons," reported a crew member suddenly.

    Canady sighed. "Of course he is...."

    ***
    As the Resistance was fleeing into hyperspace, General Leia turned to Poe. “What was that? You thought you could outsmart a cat like Millicent?”

    “Well, we blew up the dreadnought,” said Poe.

    “That’s only because Blackie was the one who was actually firing at the cannons,” she said, turning to the black kitten. “What would the Resistance do without you?”

    Blackie shifted his eyes suspiciously. Poe raised an eyebrow at the cat. How could the cat be a better pilot than he was? Where did Leia even get this kitten from?

    “Permission to ask where you got this kitten from?” he asked finally.

    Leia smiled as she lifted the black kitten up onto his sleeping bed. “Permission denied. Blackie is a special kitty. His origins are not important, only his actions.”

    “Can I do something cool now?” whined Finn. “Maybe something that doesn’t involve cats?”

    ***
    The big giant head of Snoke appeared as a hologram on the bridge of the Finalizer. “General! Report!”

    Hux stood to attention obediently and folded his hands behind his back. “Millicent has successfully destroyed the Resistance base but we lost the dreadnought and the Resistance escaped. We’re tracking them through hyperspace as we speak.”

    “Hrm….That’s still pretty good for a cat. Very impressive. However....her little hat is on backwards. My disappointment in your performance cannot be overstated."

    ***

    "The secret cat club has begun," declared General Hux as he poured the wine into the glasses as Millicent licked her rear-end and sat in the middle of the table.

    "SECRET CAT CLUBBB," cried FG-5622 as he did a little dance. "Seccreeeet caaat clubbbbbb! WHOO!"

    "Stop being so happy," warned Captain Phasma as the stormtrooper sat back in his seat quietly and whimpered under his breath.

    "Happiness has no place in the First Order," clarified Hux. "We're all just a bunch of angry people here."

    "General, what happened to your hair? Isn't it....usually groomed?" asked FG-5622 suddenly. "And you seem to be bleeding."

    "Millicent forgot to lick General Hux's hair today and then he fell down a fleet of stairs for absolutely no reason," explained Phasma.

    "Exactly!" agreed Hux hesitatingly. "Exactly."

    "That's terrible! Wait....Millicent is a hairdresser?" pondered FG-5622 as he put a finger to his helmet vocoder. "Millicent......rules...."

    "Meoww," agreed Millicent as she finished grooming herself and raised her head to look over to the stormtrooper. She walked over, arched her back, and rubbed against him.

    "Millicent has now claimed you," declared Hux. "You're her territory now."

    FG-5622 looked down at the cat claiming him. "I......belong to Millicent?! MILLICENT RULES!"

    "Shut up and go away now," ordered Phasma impatiently as she poured herself more wine.

    "WHOO!" cried FG-5622 mindlessly as he ran out with his juice box while Millicent ran after him down the hallway, leaving a trail of ginger fur.

    *******
    Next time....The Supremacy....
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2018
  19. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Millicent will never forgive the insults of a certain rebel pilot. Never.

    Plus:

    Back on the Fulminatrix, Captain Canady watched the X-wing zoom by as a sudden small hologram of the ginger weasel appeared on the control panel.

    "Captain Canady, why aren't you blasting that puny ship!?" demanded General Hux.

    "That puny ship has a cat onboard. We can't fire on any ship with cats onboard, as per your policy," reported Canady annoyingly as he turned away. "Bloody cats...."

    "Captain, that cat is taking out all our surface cannons," reported a crew member suddenly.

    Canady sighed. "Of course he is...."

    This way the scene is even better than the movie version. ;)
     
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  20. Ridley Solo

    Ridley Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2010
    Pilot kittens! Pilot kittens for the win!!! [face_dancing]

    This whole thing was great! First of all Poe asking for a cat treat, then Blackie being the hero, then finding out Millicent is the one who grooms Hux's hair (sounds legit)…[face_laugh] Oh, and Finn's remark about asking to do something cool? Priceless! [face_rofl]
     
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  21. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2016
    This was golden!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  22. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    There is just so much good here, I can't even...

    Finn needs a Porg. Or one of those crystal fox things.

    Sloppiness will not be tolerated, Hux! You know better!!!

    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]
    His life's purpose has now been fulfilled!

    All of this. All of this! So looking forward to seeing how Millicent's version of TLJ works out... I was looking at another discussion forum where people were trying to help a member find a cat name that began with M. It seemed so obvious, but I kept it to myself...
     
  23. Findswoman

    Findswoman Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Ooh, an epic showdown, to be sure! And what decisive results on both sides—both these cats are ruthless fighters, all right. How lucky for Poe and Blackie that that "no shooting at cats" rule was in place! [face_relieved] Poe can clearly tell that Blackie is someone very, very special; I wonder at what point the truth will be revealed to him, and what his reaction will be. [face_thinking] Of course I absolutely agree with @Mistress_Renata that Finn needs an animal companion of his own. And how cute to see FG-5622's blissed-out state at the idea of fully BELONGING TO MILLICENT; of course that stodgy old Phasma wouldn't understand! :p Do keep the feline fun coming! :D
     
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  24. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    @AzureAngel2 Way better indeed!!
    @Ridley Solo Blackie is a true rebel pilot kitty! Glad you liked it! :)
    @Nehru_Amidala Thank you!

    @Mistress_Renata Finn needs a cool animal companion…maybe a punk Porg? And I imagine if more people found out about Millicent, every orange cat would be named after her. ....Case in point, @Chyntuck 's cats! [face_rofl]

    @Findswoman Thank you for the review! Blackie is very special, and I’m sure Poe will understand..... But we’ll see! If only every stormtrooper had the honour of belonging to Millicent...or is that...being enslaved by Millicent? [face_devil]

    Thank you for the reviews and for reading---I really appreciate that people like this story!

    Okay, next chapter right here...

    Chapter 25: the Supremacy

    Captain Peavey was in his quarters when he suddenly received an incoming transmission from Hux.

    "Captain, I'm transferring to the Supremacy and placing you in command of the Finalizer in my absence," came the accented voice of General Hux.

    Peavey rolled his eyes before answering the call. At least now there would be some peace and quiet aboard the ship without that ginger brat and his obnoxious ginger cat. “Yes, General.”

    “Also,” resumed Hux, “please remember to inform the crew about my latest book, Shades of Millicent, available at Millicent’s merchandise store. 10% of all purchases will go towards the First Order cat shelter in her name.”

    “Uh………sure, sir.”

    ***
    When General Hux and Captain Phasma transferred to Snoke's giant ship, the Supremacy, they took the elevator to the fifth floor. There was some funky elevator music playing in the background that resembled the Imperial March.

    The door opened and they exited while a few stormtroopers saluted them. Suddenly, they saw a stampede of teenaged officers running towards them like an angry storm.

    "Millicent, Millicent, Millicent, Millicent!!"

    Hux nervously held Millicent high in the air as he was suddenly surrounded by the terrible youth obsessed with his cat. "Phasma, help!"

    Phasma threw the latest issue of 'First Order Teen Magazine" towards the other side of the corridor to distract their attention from the cat. "FETCH."

    "Yaayyyyyyyyyyyy!!" cried the teens as they ran off in the other direction, leaving a trail of destruction along with phones, makeup accessories, and glitter.

    Hux held Millicent close to him and analyzed the destruction: dozens of officers and storm troopers were on the floor and there was a small fire. In the corner, the kids were fighting over the magazine.

    ***
    When Kylo Ren entered the throne room aboard the Supremacy, Hux was already present and Millicent sat on Snoke’s lap like a boss. “Take off that stupid helmet,” ordered Snoke as he pet Millicent. “And stop cosplaying as Darth Vader.”

    “But it makes me look cool, Supreme Leader,” whined Kylo. “And Blackie used to sit on it… And once she peed on it. It holds fond memories for me.”

    “Supreme Leader, Blackie was a spy and that’s why we lost Starkiller base,” announced Hux suddenly, rolling his eyes at the man-child. “That kitten was making transmissions to the enemy behind our backs.”

    “I knew that kitten was bad news,” said the figure in the golden bathrobe. “But that idiot Solo kid didn’t pay heed to my orders!”

    Hux glanced smugly to Kylo with a look that could only read as ‘haha. He called you an idiot’.

    Kylo scowled and flipped him off. “Supreme Leader, Blackie is cool despite all that stuff he just said. Also, he gave Phasma a cat without your permission.”

    “Phasma is my friend,” clarified Hux haughtily.

    “In other words, she’s his girlfriend," said Kylo mockingly, rolling his eyes. “She killed all his secretaries and they hang out together at 2 AM in the morning and build cat trains. Also, they have adult grape juice.”

    Hux prepared his comeback swiftly. “Supreme Leader, he plugged the toilets on the Finalizer with Blackie’s litter and macaroni. Also, he took a bite out of all the muffins in the employers' lounge.”

    Snoke glared at them both suspiciously. “I don’t know what you kids are up to with your grape juice, muffins, and cat macaroni, but it seems like Millicent is the only person I can trust."

    Kylo wiggled a Darth-Vader themed finger puppet cutely. “Supreme Leader, I made you..... a finger puppet."

    Hux cringed at the sight of the poorly-made finger puppet made out of duct tape and cardboard. "Ren, that's disgusting...."

    Kylo pointed the finger puppet at him. "Hux is a grumpy ginger who has a ginger cat that likes gingersnaps."

    Hux replied with a slight smug smirk. "Kylo Ren is mostly just a loser."

    "What the heck!? I said cool, nice things about you and you're just mean," said Kylo, making a sad face and shaking his head in disbelief. "Freakin' jerk...."

    "I would also like to remind you, Ren, that you owe me those 5 credits you burrowed for the vending machine," reminded Hux.

    Kylo smacked his lips as he mused. "Let it go, man. Let the past die. Kill it.....if you have to."

    "Supreme Leader!!!!"

    "Meowwwww," meowed Millicent angrily on Snoke's lap.

    “Enough of this silliness,” said Snoke furiously as he adjusted the cat’s little hat. The feline was glaring at Kylo and growling in annoyance. “You’re upsetting Millicent and it’s foolish to upset a cat. I’m promoting her to Grand Marshal. A cat will make a fine Grand Marshal. In celebration, I’m hosting a party for her on the Supremacy. I also want her ice skating lessons continued.”

    "Of course, Supreme Leader," replied Hux obediently, nodding. "Millicent is a champion at ice-skating."

    Millicent sat obediently on his lap, but her feline thoughts had a different story to tell. Some day, the throne chair would be hers and the First Order and the galaxy would be hers to rule. She was already given a higher title than her owner and that was Snoke’s undoing. She jumped off his lap and walked back towards her owner.

    "You may go now, General. I wish to speak to Kylo Ren," announced Snoke and watched him leave with the cat. He turned to the young man before him, waving a hand in disgust. "Take that ridiculous thing off. You're no Vader."

    Kylo took off his shirt.

    Snoke gasped and covered his eyes immediately in terror. "Gah! I meant the mask! Take off the mask!!"

    Kylo took off the mask while remaining shirtless.

    "It's even worse now!! Put it back on! Put it back on!"

    Kylo smacked his lips as he mused. "Put back.... The mask?"

    "The shirt! Put your shirt back on!"

    "Kind of lost my shirt at this point," said Kylo, shrugging. "It has a habit of mysteriously disappearing."

    "Then just get out!" screamed Snoke as he resumed covering his eyes. He jumped from his throne chair and ran out into the back stage. "Argh! The image!!"

    ***
    Back in the elevator, Kylo smashed his helmet after Snoke insulted him--his last memories of Blackie smashed along with it. Millicent, this! Millicent, that! The old guy was obsessed with that ginger tabby and she wasn’t even his cat! But he sensed that Blackie would return to him.

    “Blackie, we will do cool things together,” said Kylo, sniffling. “And this time I promise I won’t eat your cat treats."

    *******
    Next time...the First Order finds the Resistance.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2018 at 12:25 PM
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  25. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Great stuff, as usual. Many funny moments that made me laugh out loud. :D

    For example:

    When Kylo Ren entered the throne room aboard the Supremacy, Hux was already present and Millicent sat on Snoke’s lap like a boss. “Take off that stupid helmet,” ordered Snoke as he pet Millicent. “And stop cosplaying as Darth Vader.”

    “But it makes me look cool, Supreme Leader,” whined Kylo. “And Blackie used to sit on it… And once she peed on it. It holds fond memories for me.”
     
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