Title: There is Something in Kylo Ren’s shoe –A Millicent Story Author: gizkaspice Timeframe: Sometime during the Force Awakens Characters: Millicent the cat, General Hux, Kylo Ren, random stormtrooper, Captain Phasma, brief indirect Leia, Kylo Ren’s cat. Genre: Parody, Comedy Warnings: Kylo Ren is crazy. Mention of cat surprises in shoes. Notes: A random story about General Hux’s rumoured cat, Millicent. Don’t worry, I have no idea what’s going on either. This is just for fun. Enjoy! It was a regular day on Starkiller base, except today General Hux decided to bring his famous orange cat to work. The cat’s name was Millicent and her name meant “Strength.” Millicent held the honour of being the highest ranking feline in her class and she was highly respected among all. She wore a black gaberwool collar with a tracking device for safekeeping, especially because she enjoyed wandering off. It was unknown where he had gotten the feline from and there were many mysteries about her yet to be discovered. Today, Kylo Ren discovered one of her mysteries in one of his shoes. The discovery was so disturbing that an emergency meeting was hence ordered immediately. Before the army of the First Order, he stood against the glory of the sun, his hands shaking violently. The voice under this helmet echoed into the empty landscape like a thunderstorm. “There is something…in my shoe,” he began, pausing for breath which mimicked that of Darth Vader's. “And I….don’t like it. I don’t like the thing that is in my shoe!” There was silence, a few coughs and then a small snicker came from General Hux. Kylo Ren took off his helmet, tossed it to the side, and then he pointed a finger at him in warning. “Your cat did this to me! That… Millipede!” “Millicent, sir,” corrected Hux. “And if you don’t want surprises in your shoe, you shouldn’t be throwing around your smelly shoes just anywhere.” “Okay, Cat Whisperer guy,” said Kylo Ren. “That’s not an excuse for your stupid cat to do weird stuff in my shoe.” “Millicent rules!” came a voice from one of the stormtroopers. Kylo Ren twirled towards the voice. “Who said that!?” One stormtrooper pointed to another, and another pointed to yet another one. “Guys,” sighed Kylo Ren. “I hate it when you do this. Now I don’t know which loser I’d have to kill. Killing all of all would mean I’d have to make a new posting for employees, conduct interviews…and it’s just such a hassle….” He suddenly felt a vibrating ringtone in his pocket and picked up his communicator device. It was Leia. “Hello? Mom?! Mom, you can’t call me anymore. I’m evil, remember? I kill people. Okay, stop calling me I’m at work right now. Wait---you sent me new shoes? Really? That’s…that’s nice. Wait…how did you even find out about this? Okay, whatever. Bye.” There was silence among the stormtroopers and officers before Kylo Ren began speaking again. “Hey, guys. My mom’s getting me new shoes. It’s going to be O.K.” “Great. Can we go now?” asked Captain Phasma after a while. “Sorry for taking up your time, guys,” said Kylo Ren. “I know you all have important things to do. I just don’t appreciate General Hux’s cat doing things in my shoes.” “Millicent rules!” came a voice from the crowd. “Who…keeps saying that?” growled Kylo Ren, narrowing his eyes. “It’s me, GK-1234!” “You and I are going to have a little “talk” in my office,” yelled Kylo Ren. “……I mean, GK-123….5!” Kylo Ren sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration. “I should not have hired these guys… Anyways, Millicent is officially “suspended” from the rest of Starkiller base. I don’t want that millipede doing things in my shoes.” “She’s a cat, sir,” corrected General Hux. “Whatever! I am watching you and that cat!” warned Kylo Ren, slowing sliding away back into the darkness and making weird circular motions with his arms. “Watching….watching…..watching……you!” General Hux rolled his eyes in frustration; Millicent sneezed in response. ****** Back in General Hux’s quarters, Millicent was grooming herself on her special pillow. A huge portrait of the feline hung gloriously above her. He brushed her perfect orange fur with a brush. “….How dare he,” muttered Hux angrily. “How dare he insult you, Millicent. Someday, he will understand your importance, Millicent. You’re a valued member of the First Order. Nobody shall dare speak against you.” Millicent purred and rubbed her forehead against his uniform before flopping down back on her pillow and exposing her fat belly as she resumed grooming herself. She mewed happily and stretched out which made her look like a long cat indeed. In the hallways, a terrible scream echoed into his chamber…. “AUGH! Something is in my other shoe now!” General Hux smiled slightly. “Your revenge is complete, Millicent.” ***Later*** General Hux was surprised when he saw Kylo Ren barge into his chamber. “Hey, Hux. Guess what. I have a cat too,” he said, taking out a small black kitten from underneath his robe. “Her name is Blackie cause she’s black. Black like the Dark Side and….Darth Vader. It’s a cool colour.” “That’s great, sir,” said General Hux. He hesitated to ask where he got the cat from but couldn’t resist the temptation. “Where did---“ Kylo Ren raised a finger to silence him. “Now I’m going to get my revenge.” He threw a small rubber ball at the General’s feet and motioned to the kitten. “Go, Blackie! Destroy his shoes! Make “surprises” in them…” The kitten ran over towards Hux, grabbed the rubber ball in her tiny teeth and ran back. She rubbed against Ren’s robe. Kylo Ren made a disappointed face. “We…still have some training to do, obviously. But...I'm totally going to get you!" “Clearly,” agreed Hux sarcastically. Later in the day, General Hux found a small card next to Millicent’s pillow. He opened it and saw a rainbow with a sad face. The card read, “Sorry for calling Millicent a stupid cat. I just got mad cause of the shoe thing. P.S. Blackie is better.” Hux crushed the card in his hand. "Millicent will have her revenge..."