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Saga Something Lost - TPM Missing Moment - Obi-Wan - vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Apr 18, 2007.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Title: Something Lost
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Captain Panaka, Queen Amidala
    Summary: Missing moment. Obi-Wan faces the loss of his Master.
    Notes: I participated in the ?Missing Scene? challenge and drew the scene in which Obi-Wan tells Anakin of Qui-Gon?s death. Well, that inspired me and I began thinking about what might be happened to Obi-Wan immediately after Qui-Gon?s demise. This vignette is the result. [link=]Hallowed Hearts[/link] is the vignette in which Obi-Wan tells Anakin of Qui-Gon's death, and these vignettes are a set.

    ?But over all things brooding slept
    The quiet sense of something lost.?
    - Lord Alfred Tennyson, In Memoriam

    Something Lost

    Later, he was never sure how long he sat there with his Master?s body in his arms. Time lost any meaning for him, and those minutes or hours (what did it matter?) were nothing more than a blur to him.

    He did remember placing Qui-Gon?s hands over the wound in his belly, sparing himself the sight of that gaping hole. His Master?s face was serene and relaxed in death, his body slack and heavy against Obi-Wan.

    ?You?re cold, Master,? Obi-Wan muttered anxiously, though he knew quite well it did not matter anymore.

    The young Jedi realized that he would have to leave soon, find someone and make some sort of official report about what had happened. Somehow, however, he could not force himself to put aside his terrible burden and do so. Not yet. Alone with his fallen master, he could delay the inevitable moment when the reality of his loss would hit him. He knew he would be buried beneath that knowledge, so for just a little while he spared himself the pain.

    Finally, he sighed heavily, knowing the moment was at hand. He could put it off no longer. He had a responsibility beyond his own grief and it was not the Jedi way to shirk any duty ? no matter how unpleasant or painful it was. Cautiously, he lowered Qui-Gon?s still form to the floor, arranging his body carefully. It seemed vitally important, but he could not say why.

    ?I?ll be back, Master,? he whispered, touching his fingertips to that cool face one more time.

    For a moment, he contemplated carrying Qui-Gon?s body with him, but in the end he rejected the idea. It was not a question of strength; he could easily draw on the Force for that. But he had no idea of what waited for him beyond that chamber. He would have to settle for coming back for his Master. It would be the last time he would have the honor of doing so.

    He got to his feet and attached Qui-Gon?s saber to his belt. The weight of it felt heavy and uncomfortable, a bleak reminder of his guilt and his failure. The saber thumped against his leg as he walked, making a slight sound that nagged at Obi-Wan?s nerves.

    As he stumbled through the various levels, he began to feel curiously and blessedly numb. Obi-Wan started making a mental list of what had to be done. It was enough to distract him and he was grateful for the reprieve. He was quite sure there were protocols to be observed, procedures that must be followed. Qui-Gon Jinn was certainly not the first Jedi to die in the line of duty.

    That thought made him catch his breath, stop in his tracks.

    Forcing himself to breathe and move again, he began walking and concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other again and again.

    Don?t think about Qui-Gon, he ordered himself. Keep your mind on what must be done.

    At last, he sensed movement ahead. Life forms ? human. That was good news at least.

    ?Sir!? A young Naboo guard?s eyes went wide when Obi-Wan lurched into the corridor.

    ?Palace?? Obi-Wan gasped, suddenly feeling light-headed. ?Secured??

    ?Yes, yes,? the young man answered. ?Are you all right? Are you hurt??

    Obi-Wan blinked at him, overcome with a wild and unnatural urge to laugh. Hurt? But he knew the guard would not understand and the young Jedi did not want anyone to doubt his sanity just now. It w
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    So Jedi in character, poor Obi-Wan:_|

    great piece of writing
  3. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 1, 2007

    His Master's face was serene and relaxed in death, his body slack and heavy against Obi-Wan.

    You make the grief physical.

    I also really liked your description of the exchange between Kenobi and the Queen.

    You own.
  4. Fifilla

    Fifilla Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 9, 2006
    :_| You made me cry once more! :_|

    That was such a great vignette! Poor Obi!
  5. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade VIP star 5 VIP

    Nov 9, 2002
    Beautiful. You capture Obi-Wan's feelings perfectly. :_|
  6. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004

    That was well done a perfect insight to the after math of Qui-Gons killing. It wasn't shown in the movies.
    I could imagine this is how it went.
    It would have been so hard on Obi-Wan loosing his Master yet still being a Jedi, with duties to perform.=D=
  7. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 10, 2005
    Oh my gosh, Vadey! Another of your exquisite vignettes. As soon as I saw you had written a new one, I raced in here.

    You wrote Obi-Wan's grief so perfectly, I still feel the ache in my own heart. His reaction was so spot on - the way he just kept trying to focus on anything other than Qui-Gon's death... *sniffle* I think we've all experienced something like that at some level or another - knowing that something horrible has happened and having to find a way to cope. It's especially a poignant reminder after this week's tragedy.

    Beautiful job! This was a scene that really should have been in the movie! =D=
  8. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 11, 2005
    You never cease to amaze me, Kim, or make me feel the pain of such loss. There is a genuineness to your writing; something so real. I cannot help but be drawn in and feel the cold numbness of a such a sudden loss. for some reason it made thing of ancient warrior clans and how many sons saw their fathers killed on the battlefield. I think that comparison works here.

    He did remember placing Qui-Gon?s hands over the wound in his belly, sparing himself the sight of that gaping hole. His Master?s face was serene and relaxed in death, his body slack and heavy against Obi-Wan.

    ?You?re cold, Master,? Obi-Wan muttered anxiously, though he knew quite well it did not matter anymore.

    Such tenderness in his shock. Sad doesn't describe it.

    ?Very good,? Windu replied. Then he asked softly, ?Master Qui-Gon?s status?? The words were cool and professional, his tone was not. Genuine worry in that distinguished voice and the sound of it thawed Obi-Wan?s heart a bit.

    ?Dead, sir,? Obi-Wan answered as succinctly as he could. ?In the line of duty.?

    For a moment there was nothing but silence on the other end and then Mace Windu gave one short nod. ?Understood, Padawan Kenobi.?

    I know this fic was not about MAce Windu, but I was pleased to see that the Jedi Master was not completely unaffected.

    I was also taken by Obi-Wan's distracted response to Padme when she said that she would have Anakin sent to him. Too much thrust on his young shoulders at once.
  9. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh wonderfully well written! Love the emotional theme! :_| Poor Obi indeed :( duty first and foremost. That's Obi all right.

    Great job!! :D =D=
  10. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 18, 2005
  11. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Nov 30, 2005

    Ok, you made my eyes teary on that one. Beautifully written, and so full of the restraint and civility that became the hallmarks of Obi-wan's career.

  12. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005

    I love how Obi-Wan was able to force himself to set aside his hurt to do what he had to do.

    Great job on this

  13. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 3, 2003
    This broke my heart. Poor Obi-Wan. Especially poignant the way he forced himself to focus on duty and making the necessary arrangements, putting off his own personal feelings and need to grieve. In a sense, that's what we're all forced to do when faced with the loss of a close loved one, such as a parent.

    Obi-Wan was grateful for the captain?s kindness and foresight. He took them to where his fallen Master was waiting, and tried to make accept the fact that he was alone. He had lost something on Naboo that could never be regained.

    I think this captures his thoughts and feelings at that moment perfectly.

    Another masterpiece, my dear! =D=

  14. padawan_learner86

    padawan_learner86 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 23, 2005
    Beautiful! =D=

    I also liked Obi-Wan' thoughts on Ani: the fact that he's struggling with himself and taking care of his master, without adding the extra burden of the boy.
  15. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Apr 5, 2000
    :_| :_|

    Wonderful job, hun. Beautifully written, and very powerful. Poor Obi...
  16. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    You killed him off.. :_| Don't you know that is what AU is for?

    Okay, okay, I know. Canon and all that!:mad:

    Great job showing how Obi-Wan seemed to be numb about it, focusing on duty and what needed to be done but otherwise suppressing his emotions. Being a good Jedi even if he wanted to cry.

    Well done.
  17. JainaRox

    JainaRox Jedi Youngling star 1

    Nov 23, 2006
    :_| Sad but good!!!
  18. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh - my - gosh. Another stunning piece!
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