Something to Laugh At (Off Topic Thread)

Discussion in 'Greater Cincinnati Tristate Region' started by LovelyLotus, Mar 21, 2002.

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  1. LovelyLotus Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2002
    star 3
    I got this in my email today. It was pretty funny. I subscribe to a joke of the day thing.

    Lotus:

    Really enjoy the letter!!! This is the funniest joke in the
    world.

    Jan

    FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital that was
    under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of
    reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had
    worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation
    called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick
    dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took
    place:

    Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of
    soda.

    Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

    Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.

    Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?

    Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.

    Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?

    Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.

    Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?

    Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through
    the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go
    around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

    Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?

    Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?

    Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI
    agent?

    Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.

    Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?

    Agent: I have my checkbook right here.

    Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?

    Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you
    remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance
    in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

    Pizza Man: I don't think so.

    Click.




  2. ImperialRecruiter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2002
    star 4
    In the same vein as those crazy FBI guys and the pizza joint, for your reading pleasure, here is a tale of the U.S. Navy. Actually, it's a true story.

    Lost At Sea!

    This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval
    ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
    Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

    Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a
    collision.

    Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to
    avoid a collision.

    Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to
    the South to avoid a collision.

    Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
    YOUR course.

    Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

    Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST
    SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE
    DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
    YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE
    DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER- MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE
    SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

    Canadians: This is a lighthouse... Your call!


  3. ImperialRecruiter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2002
    star 4
    The Blonde & The K-9 Patrol Dispatch



    The police department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken aback by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

    The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.

    As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,the blonde ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a BLIND policeman!"



  4. Qui-Gon_Ludo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    Ok, this is not a joke I am posting here, just the situation I am in right now (don't worry, it's still something to laugh about).

    I received the custom made boots I ordered for my costume this afternoon, and I was so exited that I decided to try them on. The only problem, is that since they are new, I can't take them off... so I have been stuck with my boots on for 3 hours now IN MY BOXER SHORTS!! I can't stop looking in the mirror and laugh... :) Man, good thing that no one is here to see or take picture!! :D :D
    I can't wait to see Angel's reaction when she'll be home :) :D
  5. LovelyLotus Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2002
    star 3
    *ROFLMAO!* Oh, My Gawd! Have you gotten off yet? I'm not trying to picture you sitting there in your boxer shorts but ya painted a vivid picture! ROFL! Imps and I are rollin'!

    Lotus (laughing...still...OMG!)

    P.S. I would highly suggest baby powder for the insides, so ya don't get stuck. Oh! You can buy the velcro at Joann's fabrics, by the yard over in the sewing section. It's got sticky stuff on the back. I'd suggest a few sitches to keep it in place.

    *laughin'*
  6. Qui-Gon_Ludo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    Well, I finally got out of that embarrassing situation! :)
    Since the boots fit very well, I don't think I'll wear them until the Celebration, too dangerous... ;)
    Thanks for the address for the velcro, I found exactly what I needed!
  7. LovelyLotus Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2002
    star 3
    Rockin'! I'm so glad they fit! *laughs* What a story to keep, and tell people about your experiance with this contest!
  8. padawan_schlicher Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2002
    star 4
    check out this webpage http://cynisk.net/whatswrong.swf


    look long and hard and try and figure out whats wrong with the picture, when you figure it out, or think you have pm me!
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