Something Worth Fighting For (JA)

Hi everyone! I'm new here (well, not really new, but this is the first time I've posted a story here) and I decided to post the beginning of my first story to see if you guys like it. I've already posted this on some groups on yahoo so someof you might have read it already.

My stuff is kinda hard to break up into parts so sorry for not finishing off the scene, I just want to make sure someone wants to read it before I post a whole bunch at once!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it (a small warning though: don't read unless you're familar with what happens on Melida/Daan in the JA series).

Title: Something Worth Fighting For
Author: Erika
Rating: PG
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have a much-needed discussion after the events in JA8.
Time Frame: Just after JA8, Jude Watson skipped all of the good stuff!
Spoilers: For all of the JA books and *major* spoilers for JA books 5, 6, 7, and 8.
Category: Angst, POV, H/C
Disclaimers: The Star Wars universe and all of its characters belong to George Lucas, I'm only borrowing them to have a little fun and I promise to return them unharmed (well, at least mostly unharmed). I'm making no money off of this and this is written for entertainment purposes only.
Feedback: Please!
Special Thanks To: Adi-Ser who was nice enough (and patient enough) to beta for me.

Something Worth Fighting For
(Part One)

Obi-Wan:

In the confusion, I did not see Cerasi until she ran in-between the two groups of fighting people shouting, "No, this cannot happen!"

As soon as I saw her, a feeling of deep agony and despair filled me, as if I sensed what was to come and knew it was inevitable.

"Cerasi!" I screamed as I ran toward her, hoping to prevent what I knew in my heart was going to happen. Shots sounded loudly, but I could not place them. All that mattered was Cerasi; all that mattered was getting to her in time.

In horror I saw the blaster fire hit Cerasi square in the chest. Cerasi sank to her knees without crying out, but I could see the confusion in her glazed eyes. I reached Cerasi just in time to catch her before she fell back unto the cold, hard ground. I held Cerasi in my lap, willing her to live, denying that this could be happening, denying that I would lose her.

"Cerasi," I said, my own voice sounded hoarse and agonized. "You'll be okay," I said, even as I knew, and denied, that it wasn't true. "Can you hear me?" I cried, "You don't need luck. Cerasi!"

I held up my palm and Cerasi reached up with her hand but it fell back again. Cerasi, my dear, doomed, friend, held my eyes in her beautiful green gaze for one last moment before they unfocused and then slid shut.

"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, "No!"

"Obi-Wan!" someone said, but I couldn't look up.

I checked for Cerasi's pulse frantically, but found nothing.

"Obi-Wan," I heard again, but didn't care.

All that was left of my world had just died. Tears streamed down my face. I clutched Cerasi's limp body close and huddled against her, rocking her back and forth.

"Obi-Wan!"

Tears turned into loud sobs and I began to shake uncontrollably, agony and the pain of loss filling my heart until I thought it would break.

"Obi-Wan, can you hear me?"

I rocked Cerasi back and forth, gently stroking her sweat-matted hair.

"Obi-Wan!"

I sat up with a start. My heart was pounding and tears fell from my eyes. My hair was damp with sweat and I could barely catch my breath. I looked around me. I was in a bed, it was dark? Suddenly it all came back to me. I was on a ship bound from Telos to Coruscant, with Qui-Gon.

My eyes fell on Qui-Gon, sitting on the side of my bed. He looked down at me, concern evident in his eyes. I started when I felt a gentle hand squeeze my shoulder, and was suddenly all too aware of what had happened. I had had a dream about Cerasi and woke Qui-Gon up with my screaming.

Cerasi? At the thought of my friend my tears fell faster and clouded my vision. I began to tremble, and then shake. Cerasi was dead? She was gone? I hadn't bee

 

Hi Firedrake..

I definately think you should post more! Go for it! It should be really great!

Later
Rennati

 

Give me a "M",
"M!"
Give me an "O",
"O!"
Give me a "R",
"R!"
Give me an "E",
"E!"
What does that spell?

"MORE!!!!"

JediCandy

(I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Give me a break!")

 

Please post more! This sounds like a really good story.

 

I think you should write more firedrake. This looks like it is going to be a good story.

 

yeah keep writing it. It looks good

 

It looks very good! I want more, and soon!

 

when do we get more?

 

Thanks for the FB guys! Before we go on (don't worry, I have a post) I should mention something that I forgot to say in my original post. This is what *I* think JW *should* have had Obi and Qui do when they got back from Telos in JA8, sit down and *talk*. There's no action in this story. It is all mush. So if you don't like mush I suggest you leave now, but please be kind enough to point all your mush-loving friends in this direction. The sequel to this story (which I've also already finished) is about twice as long and *does* have a plot. If enough people want me to, I'll post that one too.

Okay, on with the post! Thanks for reading!


Slowly I stopped shaking and my tears cleared enough for me to see Qui-Gon again. Even in the dim light his blue eyes shown brightly, finding mine and holding them with the inten-sity of his worried gaze.

Embarrassment colored my face and I was thankful for the concealing darkness that surrounded us. I quickly wiped the tears from my face. "Master?" I winced as I heard my voice break and cleared my throat.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said before I could continue, "Are you alright?"

I nodded, "I'm sorry that I woke you Master, I just had a dream about?" I tried to say Cerasi's name but the word just wouldn't form as much as I tried. I looked down, not willing to see the disappointment in Qui-Gon's eyes. A Jedi was supposed to control his emotions, not let them dominate him in the middle of the night.

"I know, you screamed her name several times," Qui-Gon said gently, no touch of dis-appointment in his voice, "are you sure you're alright?" As he spoke Qui-Gon moved his hand from my shoulder to my cheek, gently caressing the damp skin.

I was taken aback. I wasn't used to Qui-Gon showing he cared for me. The occasional hand on the shoulder yes, but not this. I could feel something in his fingers as they touched me, concern and compassion and even?caring. This wasn't the Qui-Gon I knew. Was my Master actually opening up to me, even after what I had done to him on Melida/Daan?

"I'll be fine, Master," I said, "thank you. I'm sorry."

My Master shook his head, "It's alright, Obi-Wan," he paused, "do you want to talk about it? I'm here if you do, I'll listen, if that's what you need."

Again, I was surprised. It was as if Qui-Gon had forgotten about what I had done, for-gotten about Xanatos? "I?relived?Cerasi's death," I said, my voice filled with unspoken ag-ony.

Qui-Gon nodded, accepting that I didn't want to describe my dream further. "Obi-Wan," he said softly, still gently rubbing my chest, "do not be ashamed," he stroked my cheek again, "of expressing your emotions, it is not a weakness. Grieving is only natural, especially since she meant so much to you. I know it's hard to lose a friend, Padawan, I know what it feels like. You must not remember Cerasi for the way she died, but for the way she lived. She would not want her death to destroy you. She would be happy knowing that you helped to bring peace to her planet, and that you are back where you belong now."

I looked down at my hands; not wanting Qui-Gon to see the newly forming tears in my eyes. "When?when will this feeling stop, Master?" I asked, made bold by Qui-Gon's show of affection towards me. "When will this empty feeling inside my heart disappear?"

Qui-Gon took my chin in his hand and tilted my head up until I was looking at him, then, with his other hand he took one of my hands and held it in his own. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, I know this is hard. You will always miss Cerasi, and she will always hold a place in your heart. Your grief is consuming you right now, and I know it's hard to believe, but day-by-day your pain will lessen and one morning you will wake up and find that although you still miss her, the hurt in your heart isn't as bad anymore. The first thing you have to do is accept that her death wasn't your fault. You did everything you could."

"I know that, Master," I said, hesitantly squeezing his hand, "but I think it will take some time before my heart re

 

Do u even have to ask? Of course we want nice looong posts. I like mush, I like mush a lot! U r doing a great job! More soon please!

 

Ummmm...short post or long post. That is easy, long post. I like the last one, can't wait to read more.

 

Long posts definitely! This is a great story and I can't wait to read more.

 

LOng posts and please finish this story

 

You need to talk to Jude and tell her to add stuff like this into her books. This is wonderful!

 

More L O N G posts, please.


JediCandy

ps. and more sequels, please.

 

As a lover of mush I say MORE!!!!!!!

BTW.... lovely story!!!

 

(*waves* Hi, Kelly!)

Hi, Firedrake. I think the last one was about the right length. Long enough to read, short enough not to tie me up at the computer for an hour...

 

(*waves* Hi, Kelly!)

Hi, Firedrake. I think the last one was about the right length. Long enough to read, short enough not to tie me up at the computer for an hour...

 

Hi everyone!

Thanks for all the replies! So I guess the general agreement is long posts???? Okay, I'll try to keep them a little longer than the last one but not too long since I don't want to bore anyone.

Since I wasn't planing to post again today the next section is a little short (just think of it as the second part to my last post!). I promise the next one will be longer! You can look for it tomorrow.

This whole story is pretty short since I just wrote it as a "should have been at the end of JA8" story. I hope you guys like it.


"Remember her for who she was, Padawan, not for the way she died," he said softly, af-ter a few moments of silence.

I nodded, "Thank you." After a few minutes of silence I spoke again, "I wish I could be sure, about so many things. All I know right now is that I am where I should be, at your side."

"Yes, Obi-Wan, and I am here to guide you, never forget that."

Unable to think of anything else to say I responded, "Cerasi would be glad."

"I believe she would be." Qui-Gon said gently. "It's about four in the morning right now," he said, "we can still get another four hours of sleep before we land on Coruscant, if you think you are ready to go back to bed."

Qui-Gon was being so kind to me, so gentle. I had never seen this side of him before. I had wanted to be close to him, wanted it so badly, but given up on the hope that it could ever happen. Was it possible that our bond would be stronger, even after I had broken it? I sighed mentally, I had to talk to Qui-Gon about what I had done, I had to apologize. I didn't regret help-ing Melida/Daan come to peace, but I would forever regret what I had said and done to Qui-Gon.

"Master," I said softly, "I need to talk to you."

Qui-Gon nodded, "Yes, Obi-Wan, there is much that needs to be said between us, much that needs to be set right. Once we return to the Temple, we will speak. I will help you meditate on what happened on Melida/Daan, and especially about Cerasi. Together, we will work through this. Don't worry, Obi-Wan, the Council will come to understand the reasons you stayed behind."

I nodded, "Thank you, Master."

A comfortable silence filled the room, "Are you ready to go back to sleep?" Qui-Gon asked after a few moments.

I nodded, "Yes Master. I'm sorry that I woke you."

"It is not a weakness to feel sorrow, Padawan."

I nodded, "Goodnight, Master, and thank you."

"You're welcome, Padawan. Goodnight."


Qui-Gon:

Unbeknownst to my apprentice I stayed up to watch him as he slept, making sure he was plagued by no more nightmares. It amazed me, shocked me, that I cared for this boy so much, and that I had done him so much wrong. What happened on Melida/Daan not included, I had been cold to him, refused to let him inside my heart, and I had been *waiting* for him to be-tray me. It was as much my fault as Obi-Wan's that he stayed behind on Melida/Daan. If I had been a better master Obi-Wan would have been more motivated to stay, if he had thought I cared, he might have been less quick to join the Young.

Our relationship had been broken, but I now knew that it would be stronger for the breaking. I had to change my ways, be more compassionate and understanding with the boy. I had to be a better master if this was to work. I couldn't expect him to be loyal to me if I didn't earn his respect.

It stung that Obi-Wan had been surprised by the way I had reacted to his nightmare, but if I was prepared to make this apprenticeship work I had to be more understanding, more open. I had to show Obi-Wan that I trusted him. It wouldn't be easy, the memory of Xanatos still haunted me, but I would open myself up to him. I would talk to him, at the Temple, tell him that it was my fault, not his, that I didn't trust him in the beginning, and tell him that I would try my best to be open with him, to stop comparing him to Xanatos, but that he would have to be pa-tient with me as I learned to trust and open myself again. I would make him understand that what happened on Mel

 

This is turning out well so far; please grace us with more of it.

 

This is a really good story so far. I look forward to reading more of it!

 

"HI" Mistress_Renata, good to see you here!

Another beautiful post, I love mush so much.... I just can't seem to get enough!

BTW... I forgot to put in my vote, short or long.....hmmmmm... doesn't matter to me as long as they are posted often!!!

Toodles!!

 

Well I'm back! I'm glad that you're all enjoying the story so far. I had a busy day yesterda - I got the perfect idea for a story with Obi-torture, Qui-angst, and everything so I've been having a great time writing it.

I hate to tell all you Qui lovers out there that he's not in his post, but he'll be back in the next, I promise! I know that this scene is a little boring but I have it in here because of the sequel. You'll see when you read the sequel. That is, if you actually want to read the sequel!

Enjoy!

(Part Two)

Obi-Wan:

As soon as we arrived at the Temple the Council called Qui-Gon in to see them so that he could give his report about what had happened on Telos. My Master had apologized to me for having to leave me so quickly, and asked if I would wait for him in his quarters. He said that he didn't expect the meeting would last more than two hours, and that if I wasn't in his room he would look for me in my own quarters. Before leaving for the Council Chambers he had told me that no matter what happened with the Council, and no matter how long it took them to take me off of probation, I would still be his Padawan. Then he had left, before I could answer.

Within five minutes after he left, I found myself sitting in his bedroom, looking around at his things. The room didn't have much in it, just a bed, a dresser, a closet, and a bookcase filled with books. I looked through his books to see if there was anything that interested me, so that I could read while he was gone, but my eyes kept on drifting from the books to the dresser at the right of my Master's bed.

I knew that it was wrong, but felt compelled to do it anyway. I approached the dresser and opened the first drawer. I was not surprised that it didn't contain clothes, but papers. I closed the drawer, sensing that I was meant to find something in the dresser, but not in this particular drawer. Instinctively I opened the bottom drawer of the dresser. As with the first one, this was filled with papers as well.

I carefully took the papers out of the drawers and found that there was wooden box underneath them. I opened the box and found that there were more papers inside. I picked up the first paper in the box and looked at it to see what it was.

The paper, I was surprised to find, was my Master's birth certificate. I scanned the information on the sheet and was surprised to see that my Master's birthday was in little less than a week.

I took the paper and set it inside my tunic, then I put everything back into the drawer exactly the way I had found it so that Qui-Gon wouldn't know I had been looking through his things.

I knew I should feel guilty for invading my Master's privacy, but strangely I didn't; instead I felt that I was meant to find his birth certificate. I didn't know why, but suspected that it was because Qui-Gon wouldn't tell me about his birthday and it would be the only way I'd ever find out.

I sat down on my Master's bed and contemplated what I was going to say to him. I had to apologize for what had happened on Melida/Daan, but how? What was I supposed to say? 'Sorry that I betrayed you and I promise not to do it again'? Simple words seemed inadequate. I wanted him to understand that I hadn't meant to hurt him, and that I hadn't joined the Young to betray him, but because I truly believed in their cause. Qui-Gon said he understood why I stayed behind, but he deserved to hear it from my own lips anyway.

I stood and left Qui-Gon's quarters. I needed to think.

When I was four years old I had found a small mediations garden that hardly anyone ever used anymore. Ever since the first time I saw it I often returned to it when I was troubled or sad and needed to think. I hadn't even told Bant about it, and was confidant that no one would be there now.

I few minutes later I entered the garden and was relieved to see that I had been right, and it was indeed empty.

I looked around the garden. It was good to know that some things never changed. It was exactly as I remembere

 

poor obi

 

Awe!!! That was a really good post!!!