Something Worth Fighting For (JA)

"Great post!" JediCandy grabs several big pillows, a blanket, and some snacks and she prepares to await the arrival of the "Qui-Gon post."


JediCandy

Ps. my nephew is going the the Nsync concert in Tampa tonight and I had to take him out to buy his clothes "special for the concert!" He has silver jeans, black tight knit shirt, black belt with white rhinestone star buckle, and black shoes....he looks pretty sharp in it.....

 

Ahhh yes.... a steady diet of mush and I am one happy little camper

 

Well here's your "Qui-Gon post" JediCandy! I like your siggy, especially the one about being paranoid, it reminds me about a DS9 episode where one character says to the other "They call people paranoid when they *imagine* threats against their life, I actually *have* threats against my life."

LOL, Kelly, me too!


I felt a gentle hand rest on my shoulder and give it a soft squeeze. I opened my eyes to see who was there and found myself facing my Master. "Yoda said I would find you here. He told me that you've come here every time you need to think since the day you found it when you were four years old," Qui-Gon spoke gently, his crystal blue eyes locking onto mine.

"Master?" I tried to speak but my voice dwindled into silence. "Master," I tried again, "I'm sorry that I left your quarters, but I needed some time to think. This place has always?calmed me."

Qui-Gon nodded, "I understand. I'm sorry, it took me longer than I expected." My Master paused before continuing, "You said last night that you wanted to talk with me?"

"Yes, Master?" I said, focusing my eyes on the ground. Qui-Gon had an eloquent way with words, and I couldn't even figure out how to start. I swallowed. "Yes, I do?but? I don't even know where to start."

I looked up for a second and Qui-Gon looked back at me, "Then let me start. I want to speak with you as well."

I let my eyes drop and waited for my Master to speak.

"Obi-Wan," he said.

I didn't answer, expecting him to continue, but he didn't.

"Obi-Wan," he said again.

"Yes, Master?" I answered.

Qui-Gon gently took my chin and raised my head until I was looking directly into his eyes, "Please, look at me, I want to see you eyes. I have something important to tell you."

"Yes, Master."

He released my chin, and as requested, I did not lower my gaze again.

"Padawan?Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon began, "I owe you an apology."

I continued to look at him, confused. For what did he need to apologize?

"When we first met, I refused to take you as my Padawan, and continued to do so until you risked your life for me on Bandomeer. I know that those rejections hurt you, and I want to tell you that it wasn't your fault. I didn't take you as my Padawan because of anything you did, but because of what another did, because of what Xanatos did, and because of my own fears. I was afraid to let anyone into my heart again. Afraid that if I cared for someone they would hurt me, as Xanatos did."

My heart froze; I had done to Qui-Gon exactly what he had feared that I would do. He had trusted me, and I had betrayed him. How would I ever apologize for what I had done to him?

"So I refused to take you as my Padawan," he continued softly, "I couldn't see what you saw, couldn't see that we are meant to be together. But finally, after almost losing you to Xanatos, I did take you as my Padawan. But even then I didn't treat you as you deserve to be treated. I was cold towards you, I shut you out, refused to open my heart to you." Qui-Gon paused and took a deep breath, "I was waiting for you to betray me, expected you to betray me."

I stared at Qui-Gon, shocked and aghast. He had expected me to betray him from the very beginning. Even when he said he trusted him, he had been waiting for me to betray him. He had expected me to do it, and I had. I had betrayed him, on Melida/Daan. A wave of guilt and remorse washed through me. How could I have done this to the man I cared for and respected so much? "Master?" I said quickly, "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

Qui-Gon smiled at me then, "Hush, Obi-Wan. I didn't say that to make you feel guilty. Please, let me finish." He reached out and gently pressed his fingertips to my cheek. "I expected you to betray me," he repeated, "and therefore shut myself out from you. That was a mistake. I was being foolish and selfish. I was being a bad Master to you, and for that I am sorry."

Of all the things I had expected my Master would tell me, that was the last one. How could he think that he had been a b

 

Just in case anyone's still reading this, here's the next part, I'll post the last part tomorrow:

"And then," Qui-Gon said, interrupting my thoughts, "we went to Melida/Daan, and you stayed behind and I feared that everything I had thought was true. I let myself be hurt by what happened, but it wasn't your fault. It was Xanatos' fault, and my own fault. I should have moved on from Xanatos years ago, but I never did, and I let what happened with him affect my behavior with you. I thought you had betrayed me on Melida/Daan, but I know that you didn't. When you called me back to Melida/Daan, I was harsh with you, angry, and I want to apologize for that also. You didn't deserve that. What happened between us on that planet wasn't just your fault, it was my fault also. If I had been more open with you, if I had been a better Master, then perhaps you wouldn't have been so quick to stay. And, if I hadn't been so caught up with my own shame and pain, I would have understood that you didn't betray me when you stayed behind. You stayed behind because you found something you believed in, because you're a boy who will fight and die for a noble cause."

Qui-Gon fell silent for a few minutes before continuing.

I wanted to protest, to deny that what happened on Melida/Daan could in anyway be his fault, but he had asked me let him speak, and I would have to wait.

"What you did on Melida/Daan was wrong, you shouldn't have stayed behind. Our mission was to rescue Tahl, and our presence hadn't been requested yet on that planet. However, the way I acted was more wrong. As a Master it was my duty to help you through your mixed emotions, but I didn't. I tried, or at least I told myself I did, but I didn't. I couldn't shut you out and not expect it to affect you. I know that I have hurt you because of the way I have acted, and I'm sorry. I hope that you can forgive me and give me another chance," Qui-Gon finished heavily. His voice was quiet and steady but I sensed that telling me all of this had been hard for my Master, and that he was even anxious as to how I would respond.

I remembered back to all the times when Qui-Gon had rejected me as his Padawan, and realized that even though I had tried not to take it personally, it had hurt. I had wanted him to be my Master so much that his rejections had hurt me, as much as I had tried to not let them. I understood now, though, that Qui-Gon had been hurt in the past, and I had to be patient with him. I had to teach him to trust again.

I had always thought my Master to be cold and uncaring, even though I realized that his behavior was the direct result of Xanatos' betrayal, he had always seemed overly distant, with a detached way of caring for me. Now, though, I knew that wasn't true. Qui-Gon had cared for me, even though he was cold and unemotional towards me, he had truly cared for my welfare. Then we had been sent to Melida/Daan and without meaning to, I had hurt him. Now, I had to do whatever it took to show him that he could trust me without fear, and that I would never betray him again.

I stared at my Master silently for a few minutes before finding my voice, "Master," I said, "I never blamed you for what happened on Melida/Daan. It was my fault. I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time now, and I ask you to listen to me before you say anything."

Qui-Gon silenced his protest and nodded.

"It was my fault," I repeated, "I have to be honest with you, Master. I don't regret helping the Young bring peace to their planet. What I do regret, and will always regret, it what I did to you. I know that Xanatos hurt you, and I know that that is why you've been afraid of our relationship. I never should have said the things I said to you. I never wanted to hurt you, Master, but I know I did. I never meant to become another Xanatos in your life, but I know I did that as well." I paused to gauge my Master's reaction but Qui-Gon's face was as unreadable as ever and I had no idea what he was feeling.

"All I wanted was to help C

 

AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

I love mush. I love Qui & Obi mush most of all

There's more to this, right? You are going to continue this love fest. Maybe some more ansgt, because that will lead to more mush

 

Qui and Obi lead to angst, angst leads to mush, mush leads to happy readers!!!

I loved that post!!!

 

Well, sorry greencat336 but this story's almost over! I have written a sequel that has lots of angst, and much, and even a plot, and I should be posting it soon.

Actually, Jade's Fire2003, the order goes something like this for my next story: strange foreboding feelings lead to unexpected problems which lead to MUCH Obi angst and and emotional torture which leads to MUSH!

Yeah, I know I weird, but what can I do?

 

The world needs more "weirdness," then. This is a great story, I am looking forward to the next one when it is finished.

JediCandy

ps. It rained at the Nsync concert and my nephew got all wet! Hehehe! He said it was still great, though.

 

If this is any indication of your writing ability,anytime you find the urge to post another Qui/Obi story please POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST IT!!!!!!I can never get enough of Qui/Obi mush.

 

When you post fan fiction, I will read...

And trust me, weirdness is a good thing!!!

 

Okay! Here's the last part of the story! Have fun!

(Part Three)

Qui-Gon:

I looked at the boy in front of me, chilled and awed by what he had said to me, by the power and sincerity of his desire to help me move on from Xanatos. How could I ever have shut this boy out of my heart? How could I ever have thought that he was anything like Xanatos? I couldn't have been more wrong in my assumptions about him. He was nothing like my first apprentice. He actually wanted to be close with me, not because I was a respected Jedi Master, but because he sincerely *wanted* to be my friend, wanted to help me heal.

I knew that in order to heal from Xanatos' betrayal I would have to open up to someone, tell someone the secrets of my loss and the depth of my despair at my apprentice's turning. For years I had closed myself off from everyone, even my closest friends, but now I knew that the time had come to open myself up again. It would take a while, I would have to spend more time with my Padawan, but I knew that someday he would be the one I would reveal my heart to, the one that would truly be able to heal my wounds.

I searched my Padawan's eyes for a few moments. The unconditional trust in them both humbled me, and scared me. Did I deserve this boy's trust? Could I ever really be a good Master to him? There was something else in the boy's eyes though, something that answered my questions. There was hope. Hope that what I had just told him was true, that our relationship really would heal from what had happened. I *had* to be a good Master to Obi-Wan; I couldn't shatter the hope that filled those all too expressive eyes.

I smiled slightly, suddenly remembering that I had a surprise for my Padawan.

"Come Obi-Wan," I said after a few minutes of holding his hand and looking into his blue-green eyes, "I want to show you something."

Obi-Wan eyes reflected confusion but he nodded, and together, we rose and left the garden.

"Where are we going, Master?" Obi-Wan asked as I lead him through the halls and corridors of the Temple.

I smiled, "You'll see when we get there."

Obi-Wan laughed. "That's a brilliant statement."

I smiled and continued to lead Obi-Wan to the section of the Temple that housed the Master-Padawan quarters. As if realizing our destination, my Padawan asked, "Are we going to visit someone?"

"Patience, Padawan," I said with a low chuckle.

We walked in companionable silence for a few more minutes before I steered my Padawan to the doors of our new quarters. "Go on in, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan shot me a confused glance but slowly opened the door anyway. Looking at me one last time he entered our quarters and glanced around.

"Who lives here, Master?" He asked.

I smiled and followed him inside, "Why don't you look around and see?"

I stood and waited in the living room as Obi-Wan explored the rest of our quarters. I could feel his shock and amazement through the Force long before he called me to his room, "Master?"

I entered Obi-Wan's new room to find him sitting on his bed with an expression of confused joy on his face.

"Yes, Padawan?"

He looked around his room and gestured, "This looks exactly like my old room, when did you bring all of my things here?"

"I didn't, Tahl did. I now owe her a big favor, which she will no doubt happily collect at the most inconvenient of times, if she can arrange it. She also moved my things from my old room while we were in the garden. These are our new quarters, do you like them?"

Obi-Wan smiled, his eyes shown bright blue in his joy, "Yes, Master, of course I do. I?I was wondering if we'd get new quarters together."

"Well, now we have them," I said, hesitating momentarily I asked, "are you happy, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan stood up and look me in the eye, "I would be happy if we were staying in the darkest dungeon in the universe as long as I was your Padawan and we were there together."

I smiled at the earnest sincerity in Obi-Wan's eyes, "Thank you, Padawan."

"No," he said, shaking his head, "thank you for doin

 

Very nice story. I'm looking forward to reading your next one. And remember, weirdness is a good thing! Anyone can be normal, but it takes a gifted individual to achieve eccentricity.

 

That was a really great ending!!!

 

Thanks greencat336 and Jade's Fire2003, I'm really glad you guys enjoyed the story and I hope the next one doesn't disappoint you. Thanks for reading and posting your comments!