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Saga "Son of Unveiled Secrets." AU Drama. Obi-Wan, L/M. Chapter #43 Thanks for the nom!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jade_Pilot, Jun 24, 2013.

  1. taramidala

    taramidala Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 18, 1999
    Excellent update! Though I'm not sure how the situation will work out for the poor Darklighters when Vader comes calling. And I sure hope that Naboo ends up being a safe place!
    Nyota's Heart likes this.
  2. obsessedwithSW

    obsessedwithSW Jedi Master star 4

    May 24, 2005
    Im really enjoying the character interactions in this story. You have the major plot points that keep things moving along but its the small interactions between people - ObiWan and Luke etc.that make the story so endearing.
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  3. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    Hey y'all! I really appreciate you reading!

    obsessedwithSW- I love character interactions the most in writing! Like you said, it's the small interactions between the characters that draw us in. Thanks!

    taramidala- I don't think Huff has to worry about Vader. At this point, Huff is much more cunning. I love how you anticipate what might happen next!

    Falcon- Thanks! Huff is an extremely fun character to write. I hated having to leave him on Tatooine, but the place would fall apart without him. ;)

    mavjade- I've always thought that Luke and Mara's basic personalities were very different. I tried to imagine what both would be like in a different environment; say if Luke was raised happy or Mara was raised in the light side of the Force. I decided to play with the idea of Mara being scarred by the death of her parents and struggling with the dark side. That will definitely keep Ben on his toes. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your comments!

    Jabari- Yes, I wanted to show Ben with an entirely different world view. I think Luke raised in this way will be stronger for it. Thanks, Jabari for noticing that. :)

    Demendora- That was my goal, to have Ben's foundational beliefs in the Jedi Order completely rocked to its core. I so agree with you about how Ben and Yoda basically wanted to turn Luke into a killing machine. By having Ben raise Luke, his POV was transformed from Master to Loving parent. Thank you. I love it when people get my subtext. @};-

    Nyota's Heart- You are so faithful! I appreciate it. I love writing Huff and I know he is a gruff (lol) character in pro-fic, but I also wanted him to be seen with many layers. I like to think he misses Owen and Beru and wanted to be there for Luke because of them. Thanks! :)
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  4. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    Chapter #12

    Ben stared down at the blue and green patchwork planet below them. Naboo was an odd world. No molten core, but a strange locap plasma honeycomb interior instead. He recalled the swamps, grassy plains and shallow seas that made up a great deal of the landscape. Naboo would always be a sad reminder of the death of his beloved master. “I’m back, Master,” he whispered. “I only hope I’m doing the right thing.” The transport broke atmosphere and descended further towards the surface of the planet.

    “Are we there yet?”

    Ben chuckled. “Now why am I not surprised by your question, young Luke?”

    “Because he’s been asking for the last four hours,” said Mara.

    The space ship passed the great cliffs and hovered over Theed Spaceport, moving into position to dock. With a slight bump, the ship landed as engines were disengaged.

    “Get your packs, children, we are officially here. Let’s go.”

    Luke pulled away from the window and slipped into his backpack. “So many people, Uncle Ben! How many live here?”

    “Oh, close to four and a half billion,” said Ben.

    Luke looked over and Mara and whispered, “Is that a lot?”

    Mara nodded as she waited by the door.

    “I hope there’s room for us,” said Luke, dragging his pack behind him.

    The three exited the boarding ramp and caught an airbus into Theed proper. Luke pressed his nose against the small window taking in the large city and its unique architecture. “Look, Mara, they’re buildings have round roofs made of some kind metal.”

    Mara glanced out the window and then sat back in her seat. “Will the white men be there?”

    Ben placed an arm around the girl’s shoulder and leaned in. “I expect so, however, with this planet being so populated it will be easier to hide.” He stood up and looked out the window again. “And I am hoping for some help this time.”

    They disembarked at Palace Plaza and walked up to the Veruna Inn which Ben had researched while on the transport. The front desk was sedate in its ornamentation, but well-constructed as was the rest of the foyer. Naboo was a planet not unlike Alderaan which placed great importance in the fine arts and beauty.

    “May I help you, sir?” A small human female with dark hair and a name plate reading Anme addressed them from behind the desk.

    “We’d like a room for one adult and two children, please.”

    Anme went to work on her datapad and then smiled. “How long will you be staying with us?”

    Now that was the question. Ben had no idea and his credits were few. “Three days,” he replied.

    “Yes, sir.” Anme recited a price that would need to be paid up front.

    “Of course.” Ben handed her the payment and then took the card key with a smile. The three of them followed the steward to the lift and up to their room.
    “Your first time on Naboo, sir?” asked the steward.

    Ben smiled. “No, but it has been a very long time.”

    The lift chimed as the door opened. They walked the few steps to their room and waited while the steward opened the door and handed the card key to Ben.

    Luke bolted into the door and jumped onto the bed, dropping his packs as he went. “Did you see it Uncle Ben? Did ya’? They have roads made of water!”

    Mara dropped her bag on the floor as well. “They’re called rivers.”

    “Actually, they are technically called canals, but river is somewhat accurate,” said Ben sitting on the bed closest to the door. “Ah, conditioned air…what a delight. It is good to be among civilization once more.” He rose and padded towards the fresher. “Luke, would you like to see something really amazing?”

    Luke nodded and dove off the bed. He followed Ben, his eyes wide.

    “Watch this, youngling.”

    Ben twisted a nob above the sink and water poured from the faucet.

    Luke’s mouth fell open. “Stop it, quick!”

    Mara poked her head in the doorway. “What is it?”

    “Water is falling out of that thing and we have nothing to catch it with.”

    Ben turned the knob to off.

    “Luke,” said Mara, laughing. “It’s a sink, you don’t have to catch it.”


    “It’s okay, Luke.” Ben turned the knob once more releasing the water. “Go ahead, touch it. Wash your hands. Avail yourself of the soap even.”

    Luke poked a finger into the stream of running liquid and gasped. He inserted his right hand, then left, then amassed a mountain of bubbles as he rubbed his hands together with the soap. “Wabdah nenoleeya! It’s a miracle!”

    Ben stifled a laugh.

    Mara grinned and looked up at Ben and then back at Luke. “If you like that, wait till you see the shower.”


    After a lunch of Scrimpi covered in glockaw sauce, Ben insisted the children rest before they toured the city. As usual, Luke balked, but once his head hit the pillow, he stilled, and was breathing deeply. Mara almost fell asleep during the meal. With the two younglings slumbering, Ben took advantage of the comm. unit and began to research the Naberries.

    It appeared that Padme’s sister, Sola, had had another daughter with her husband, Darred. The eldest daughter, Ryoo, was a few years older than Luke and Mara, while the youngest, Pooia was about their age. With different planetary rotations, each planet had various measurement systems for deciphering age.

    Ben paused, looking at a picture of Sola Naberrie and her husband and wondered what kind of reception he would receive. Pausing to look at Sola, he noticed the physical similarities she shared with Padme: dark hair and penetrating eyes. Even the shape of their facial features was the same. “Oh, Padme. I wish you were here. I hope you would be proud of your son.”

    He scrolled down the screen to the information on Ruwee and Jobal Naberrie, Padme’s parents. Ben stifled a yawn and then gasped. The latest picture of the Naberries showed a couple who had aged a great deal since their daughter’s death. He leaned in closer, taking in the mother’s haunted eyes and the father’s completely white hair. What had he expected? Not this. He considered, yet again, whether this course of action he was about to take was wise.

    “And just where else would we go, Kenobi?” mumbled Ben. “We are in the very thick of things.”

    He decided to risk a comm to Bail to let him know where they were. Real time would be too costly, so he left a message for the Prince Regent, hoping he would call back. Ben still didn’t understand why Bail had gone silent. Perhaps he had found out about the Imperial presence in the outer rim and worried about such a call being traced.

    Yawning again, he turned the comm. unit off and stretched out on the lounger by the window. Perhaps just a few minutes would set him to rights.


    Ben startled awake with the pressure of someone pouncing on his chest.

    “Wake up, Uncle Ben. It’s morning and I’m hungry,” said Luke, kneeling on his guardian’s chest.

    “Luke? What time is it?”

    “Time to get up.”

    Luke rolled off Ben and leapt across the room onto Mara’s bed. “Wake up, Mara.”

    The young girl opened her eyes frowning at the bundle of blonde energy before her. “I’m still sleepy.” She pulled a pillow over her head and snuggled in.

    Luke laughed and jumped to the floor. “No time for sleeping. We have stuff to see. Come on, everybody, get up!”

    Ben groaned. Had they really slept through dinner and the entire night? No wonder Luke was ravenous. He rolled off the lounger and stretched. “All right, youngling, we’ll take showers and dress and then go down to breakfast.” He looked at the tiny mound under cover and pillow. “Mara?” He heard a grunt from the general direction of the girl.

    “A shower? Me first!” Luke scrambled to the fresher, shedding his clothing as he went.

    “Very well,” said Ben. “You can go first, so that Mara may extend her rest another fifteen minutes.” Another grunt emanated from the tiny lump. Ben situated Luke under the shower nozzle and stepped back as the boy twisted and turned under the water spray.

    “I love N’boo!”

    Ben grinned, closing the door behind him. He padded to the comm. unit and noticed the message indicator light flashing. Reaching out with the Force towards Mara, he sensed she had fallen back to sleep. Now might be the best time to reconnect with the Viceroy.

    He pressed the message key and waited for the dark visage of Bail Organa to appear. He paused, realizing that instead of a message, the unit was connecting with a real time call. He relaxed as he noticed that the receiver was listed as the one responsible for payment. The connection was answered, but not by Bail. Ben’s eyebrows rose as he beheld the pale face of Queen Breha.

    “Your Highness?”

    “Hello, Master Kenobi. I imagine you’re somewhat surprised to see me and not my husband.”

    Ben paused a moment, breathing deeply. “Yes, ma’am. I left him a message last night, do you know if he received it?”

    The lovely queen looked down, blinking rapidly. “No, he did not.”

    A cold wave of panic teased at the back of Ben’s mind. “Is everything all right, ma’am? Are Leia and the Prince home from Hapes?”

    “No,” whispered the queen. “They never went to Hapes. That was just a cover story we used until it could be determined what really happened.”

    “W-where are they?”

    The queen looked up, tears spilling from her eyes. “They’re dead.”

    to be continued...
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    :shock: :shock: !!!!!!!! J_P, if this isn't a major twistie =D= =D= =D=
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  6. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Force Ghost star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    What? They are dead? Nooooo! :_| I did think Luke freaking out about the water was cute. Wait until he sees the hotel pool. :p
  7. Falcon

    Falcon Chosen One star 10

    Feb 7, 2002
    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    How could you :_|

    I demand more
    Jade_Pilot and Nyota's Heart like this.
  8. Jabari

    Jabari Jedi Master star 1

    Jun 25, 2007
    :eek: Wait...what?

    I was expecting Bail to be dead, but Leia too? Did not see that coming! Loved Luke's response to water available on demand. :)
    Gemma and Nyota's Heart like this.
  9. taramidala

    taramidala Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 18, 1999
    Oh that is evil. Just horrible! Like Jabari, I didn't expect Leia, too. Unless...all is not what it seems? Can I still have hope that Leia might still be alive?

    On the positive side, little Luke continues to delight. Both he and Mara are so in character, despite their ages. Great work!
    Gemma and Nyota's Heart like this.
  10. obsessedwithSW

    obsessedwithSW Jedi Master star 4

    May 24, 2005
    Well that was a left turn.:eek: I didnt see that coming. No Leia? Maybe Breha is misinformed. We can only hope!
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  11. Jabari

    Jabari Jedi Master star 1

    Jun 25, 2007
    Yes, perhaps she is only...mostly dead? The Emperor needed a replacement for Mara? Poor little Leia is lost and gets raised by random people like Han was? It's a ploy to get the Empire off their backs?
    Gemma, Jade_Pilot and Nyota's Heart like this.
  12. Falcon

    Falcon Chosen One star 10

    Feb 7, 2002
    I hope not considering Leia is the offspring to Anakin and Padme. That would be bad
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  13. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005

    Have fun storming the castle, boys!
    Jabari likes this.
  14. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 3, 2002
    Now I really want Bail to have taken Leia to the Emperor. Anything but dead!!!:_| Luke's reaction to the water was so cute. :)

    Very good work. =D=
    Nyota's Heart likes this.
  15. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 10, 2005
    What?!?! Noooo....

    I'm really hoping this is some misunderstanding, or ploy, or... something!

    I LOVED Luke being so upset by the sink, it would be the kind of reaction you would expect someone from a desert planet to have, it was just so cute! [face_love]

    Can't wait to find out what happens next!
    Gemma and Nyota's Heart like this.
  16. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Nov 30, 2005

    No! Whoa, what a shocking twist! What happened to them??? Now what is Ben to do?

    If the Viceroy of Alderaan can be assassinated (which is an assumption on my part, granted), and the little princess with him, then how likely would the Naberries be to align with him? Ben is truly alone.

    Excellent story! Can't wait for more!
    Gemma and Nyota's Heart like this.
  17. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    Yes, a major plot twist. With the deaths of Bail and Leia, Ben finds himself quite alone and grasping for help in whatever area he can find. *attempt at evil laugh, sounding more like Yoda*

    Nyota's Heart: Thanks for not abandoning my story after the evil twist. Just wait until the angst erupts!

    Jedi_Lover: LOVE your pool comment! [face_laugh] Can't you just hear Mara rolling her eyes?? thanks!

    Falcon: I can because I can. [face_devil] Thanks for your faithfulness, even if I dip into an evil chapter or two...

    Jabari: I like it when readers don't see something coming and shake their heads at me. It releases some strange angsty response from me. [face_devil] Thanks for reading!

    taramidala: Thank you! I love writing young Luke and Mara and I've grown to really embrace my inner Obi-Wan!

    obssessedwithSW: Mislead my readers???? Never, ever! I'd never....well, almost never. Thanks for reading.

    JediMaster_Jenn: Your preference is for Bail to have abandoned Leia to the Emperor???????? Dang, girl! That's just....interesting. Thanks for reading! @};-

    mavjade: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS! They're dead. Dead, dead, dead. Dead as Fred eating bread. Sorry, got carried away a tad. I appreciate you reading and your comments. @};-

    divapilot: =D= Yep, you got just want I was going for. Ben is alone. Alone, hunted and at the end of his resources. What strange bedfellows will he be joining? Thanks, sisterpilot.
  18. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    Chapter #13

    Ben rocked back in his chair. “Dead? How?”

    The queen shook her head and disappeared from the view screen. A large uniformed human came into view, taking her place. “Master Kenobi, I am General Jaryn Taul of the Alderaanian Royal Forces. Queen Breha has asked me to continue this conversation in her place. She felt it was important that you recognize its authenticity by her addressing you herself, but further communication is too much for her at this time.”

    “I certainly understand, General Taul. I admit I am in shock myself.”

    The General nodded, clasping his hands in front of him. “To the best of our knowledge, Viceroy Organa left Coruscant a week after your visit. He traveled with the princess, as well as, her tutors and governesses. As the Viceroy’s ship passed the planet Aleen, an explosion occurred destroying everyone aboard.”

    Ben swallowed and closed his eyes. Stars…Leia was only four…

    Investigations are still ongoing, but there are indications that this was not an accident.”

    “What?” Ben looked up. “Are you saying that someone intentionally murdered Bail and Leia?”

    “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” The General paused a moment, clearing his throat. A bomb was placed on the secondary fuel tank. As soon as the tank was engaged, the device went off. It was very well staged, but as yet, we do not know exactly who placed it.”

    “Why the false story?” asked Ben.

    “It was decided that a cover story would allow us more latitude in our investigations. By putting those responsible in a position of doubt. It was expected that another attempt may be put in place. We could then study those activities and gather evidence.”

    Ben nodded. “And have you discovered anything of importance?”
    Here the general paused and looked away from the screen. Ben could see the man’s jaw tighten as he swallowed. “We have reason to believe that this was done by order of the Emperor.”

    Ben gasped. Had Palpatine deduced Bail’s part in Mara’s abduction? “Are you sure, general?”

    “Not entirely, but we have gathered intel that supports this.” General Taul leaned towards the screen. “Master Kenobi, I must ask—are you and the boy in a safe location with the girl?”

    “At this time, yes. I am attempting to secure a more protected environment for us.”

    “The Imperial presence is light on Naboo, but it is there nonetheless. Please contact me at this number when you have more information. Initially, the queen wanted you to come to Alderaan, but we were able to convince her that you would be in more danger here.”

    “Thank you, General. I’ll be in touch. Kenobi out.” Ben disconnected the comm. unit and leaned back in his chair. Bail had grown to be his friend over the years, as well as, a beneficiary of sorts. With his passing, Ben felt a sudden surge of loneliness that surprised him. He ran a hand across his eyes, hoping to quench the moisture forming there. What kind of monster would kill a youngling such as Leia? He sniffed and shook his head. He knew what kind. The same kind that had killed younglings at the Jedi Temple four years ago.

    “What’s wrong?”

    “Hmm?” Ben looked to the bed and saw Mara sitting up clutching a pillow to her chest.

    “Why are you so—sad, Uncle Ben?”

    Stars, the child was sensitive to the emotions of those around her. “One of my friends is…” What could he say that wouldn’t upset the young girl? Suddenly the galaxy felt like such a small place. Would they ever be truly safe? He rose from the chair and padded to the fresher, knocking on the door. “Luke, it’s Mara’s turn.”

    “Five more minutes, Uncle Ben?” shouted Luke.

    “Sorry, youngling, but now is better.” He heard Luke turn off the water and hop out.

    Ben turned and looked down into Mara’s large, green eyes. “Your turn, sweetling.”

    Luke withdrew from the fresher, wrapped in a towel two times bigger than he required. The smell of Naboo white roses rushed from the boy’s hair and assailed Ben’s nose. “All done, but I might need another shower tonight.”

    “Perhaps,” said Ben. “If you left any shampoo.”

    As Luke dressed and Mara showered, Ben placed a call to Ruwee and Jabal Naberrie’s residence. He hoped they would grant him an audience soon. With the way things were going, they could certainly use some good news.


    Tomorrow. It was the soonest the Naberrie’s would be available to meet, according to their personal assistant, Lin Delia. He supposed another day of waiting was not too bad and yet, he couldn’t help feeling completely alone in the midst of chaos. Safety was his first concern, followed by provision and the ability to continue to train the younglings. If they had a ship, he could make a living as a trader or transport goods. And if Bantha’s had wings, they could fly. Not unless they were really big wings, Kenboi. Ben sighed and turned to the children. “Ready?”

    Mara tucked her hair back under her scarf as Luke raced to the door. They had lunch at an open air café near the university. Luke ate sobara flatbread and gawked at the canals, while Mara nibbled fruit, glancing around frenetically.

    “We’re safe, here, Mara,” said Ben. “I have surmised that there are no stormtroopers in this area.”

    “With the Force?” she asked.

    Ben nodded. “Yes, dear heart.” He took a swallow of ale and placed the bottle back on the table. “Soon you and Luke, both, will learn to use the Force that way.”

    Luke perked up at the mention of his favorite subject. “How, Uncle Ben? How can you use the Force to do that?”

    “Most Jedi have the ability to sense entities in the Force. Some even have the gift of seeing into the future,” said Ben. “As soon as we are settled, we will begin a rudimentary introduction into this very thing.”

    “Grancha!” said Luke.

    “Basic, please,” warned Ben. “Now that we are on Naboo, it’s best if we leave Huttese behind. No need to draw attention to ourselves, understand?”

    “Yes, sir.”

    Mara took the last bite of her fruit and swallowed. “Uncle Ben, sometimes….sometimes it feels like I can see things. Not see them, it’s just….” She huffed and propped her chin on her fist.

    “You feel them, not like touching with your hands, but with your thoughts?” asked Ben. He placed a comforting hand on her waist, then pulled her into his lap. “Is that what you mean?”

    She laid her head on Ben’s chest. “It feels almost like an itch inside my head that I can’t get to.”

    Ben hugged her close and nodded. “Yes, that’s a most clever way to articulate what it’s like.”

    “When will I get an itchy head?” asked Luke, his mouth stuffed with flatbread.

    “Perhaps the same time you acquire some manners, son,” said Ben.

    A large transport ship flew overhead, blocking the sun for several seconds. Luke paused, tracking its ascent. “Do Jedi ever get to fly spaceships, Uncle Ben?”

    “Indeed they do. I have flown a few in my time.”

    Luke smiled. “That’s what I want to do. I want to fly in space. I want to fly to planets and stars and go really, really fast.”

    Ben ruffled the boy’s blonde head and laughed. “And what do you want to do, Mara?”

    The young girl thought a moment and looked towards the sky. “I want to hurt the men who killed my parents.”

    to be continued...
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  19. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    Terrific post, now that Ben has more details from the General; Luke is truly in the Light; Mara's closing comment, while understandable, is worrisome. Hope the Naberries can help out.
    Gemma and Falcon like this.
  20. Falcon

    Falcon Chosen One star 10

    Feb 7, 2002
    Luke is so much like his father and Mara wants revenge. Poor girl :( [:D]

    More soon :D
    Nyota's Heart likes this.
  21. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Force Ghost star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    Mara is the same no matter what age. Nice update.
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  22. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 24, 2004
    Aw he's very cute with the kids, sweet. I'm happy they're on Naboo.
  23. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 3, 2002
    Nice update. At least Ben has a little more info. Mara's last statement was spot on, true to her character. :)
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  24. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    That's Mara for you. Always the pragmatist.

    So Palpatine and Vader were behind the murder of Bail and Leia. Did Vader realize that she was his daughter?

    I hope that the Naberries will be able to help him out. Things have got to get better! Where will he live? How will he be safe? Maybe he has the right idea, working as a trader in flight. At least that way he can up and bug out when things get hot.

    Great story, Jade_Pilot! I'm totally loving this. Your characterizations are fantastic.
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  25. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    Greetings all. Time for an update and my thanks for hanging in there with me! I also appreciate those who are posting and letting me know their thoughts: divapilot, JediMaster_Jen, serendipityaey, Jedi_Lover, Falcon and Nyota's Heart. I really enjoy reading your reactions and where you think the story is going. has the best SW FF readers and writers on the net. =D=
    Gemma likes this.