Beyond - Legends Source of Self-Destruction: A Mara Jade Songfic (MJS Balladeer Challenge) - Set right before HTTE

Title: Source of Self-Destruction
Author: GeithJiseo2
Category: Song-Fic
Characters: Mara and some hapless drunk guy who crosses her path
Summary: Set to Metallica?s Master of Puppets for the MJS Balladeer Challenge.
Note: This is set before Timothy Zahn?s original Thrawn Trilogy. Mara, having lost her power and prestige as the Emperor?s Hand, is struggling in a harsh, unforgiving galaxy just to make ends meet when she receives a visit from an old ?friend.?

I hope you all enjoy this! This is my first songfic.

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End of passion play, crumbling away
I?m your source of self-destruction

As Mara Jade slept, she dreamed. She was no longer on Nar Shaddaa, languishing in a dead-end, menial job working for some brainless Toydarian who dealt in illegal and highly prized narcotics such as glitterstim and death sticks, but on a planet whose name she never knew and never would. But she knew this planet well, for she dreamed of it every night. No longer was she a once-feared assassin for the most ruthless tyrant in recent galactic history. She was a child again, staring at what might have been her childhood home, sunlight bathing her skin. Somehow, the glare always hid the home?s features, and the details were never shown. It was like a great haze, one she could never break through. It was as if she stood before a locked door that contained her hidden past, and yet she could never find the key to open it.

It was a beautiful afternoon?but what awaited her was a nightmare.

Veins that pump with fear, sucking darkest fear
Leading on your deaths construction

The scenery around her changed. No longer was it quiet and tranquil, but chaotic and terrifying. Screams of the dead and dying surrounded her. She choked on the smell of ozone. She looked around in a panic but saw only that same haze. She could vaguely make out the distinct shape of people running through the haze but nothing defining. She clawed her way through the thick smoke, searching, searching, searching.

What was she looking for?

Where were they?

Taste me you will see
More is all you need
You?re dedicated to
How I?m killing you

A woman?s scream, frighteningly close by. ?Mara!?

?Mommy!? she shouted, her tinny voice drowned out in the storm of blasters being fired, people screaming, explosions ripping the soil around her. She was now clouded in darkness, that precious sunlight having been blocked by the destruction. No one heard her or even took notice of her. They didn?t even know she existed.

Was it truly her mother or some cruel trick of the Force? She didn?t know; and truth to tell, she probably never would. Mara had undergone years of mental and physical abuse in her time as the Emperor?s Hand, which included session after session of brainwashing and mind-altering drugs. They had done this in order to erase her previous memories, her previous existence, her previous life. And they had certainly succeeded. No matter how hard she tried, Mara could never remember her family, could not even conjure up a single image of them. Any image would do?her mother with kind eyes and a beautiful smile, singing her baby to sleep at night; her father, beaming at her with pride; perhaps even a brother or sister if she?d had any; even a pet, for Core?s sake.

And yet every time, nothing came back to her. Nothing. Not even a pathetic image or feeling. It was all a great emptiness for her.

So for all she knew, this woman crying out her name was merely a phantom, some higher power taunting her with her past. And still, she didn?t care. The mere thought that this woman might be her mother brought comfort to Mara, something that she hadn?t felt in many, many years. And right at the moment, surrounded by chaos and death, that was all that mattered to her.

That, and finding her mother.

?Mommy!? she shouted again, louder this time. ?Mommy, where are you??

She heard her ?mother? call out to her again,

 

Great look at early angry Mara. The poor girl... who wouldn't be messed up, confused, scared... Nice job at winding that all together. No wonder she felt so betrayed by Palpatine!

 

That's an excellent look at Mara's mental state during this time period, and very powerfully written. Great job.

 

A chilling look at Mara's state of mind back then. Especially how she both loved and hated the Emperor. Excellent job, Geith. And the drunk passing her as she exited was a nice touch.

 

Very much our Mara!

 

Wow!!!!!! That dream would be enough to mess anyone's mind up to the limit, and to have it every night!!!!!
To have your childhood stolen; your family cruelly and brutally killed; to have even their memories erased--that's a horrific tragedy. And to make it worse: not to know what reality is.
Brilliant!!!
Very intense and fitting song.

 

*whistles* How sad! Reminded me of the scene in VotF where Mara told Luke that the only thing she vaguely remembered about her parents was that they didn't want her to leave.

Great challenge response!

 

Thanks, everyone! I'm glad you all enjoyed it.