Spiderdevil's Hatred Corner

Hey all. This thread is an offshoot of the Haters' Community, where I started a feature known as Spiderdevil's Hatred Corner. I got a request to give it its own thread, so from here on out, my hateful rants will be appearing here rather than at the HC.

To get things started, I'm reposting the three previous installments of Hatred Corner.

 

Reprinting the first installment of Hatred Corner, from September 5.

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Announcing a brand-new feature here at the Haters' Community: Spiderdevil's Hatred of the Week! At least twice each week, gather round as SD rants and raves about a subject that has earned his hatred. Listen to him scream til he's blue in the face! Thrill as he nearly gives himself a heart attack!

And now, without further ado, here's the star of our show...Spiderdevil!

(SD steps up to podium)

Thank you, thank you.

I would like to kick things off with a rant about the uselessness of one of my english classes. First, a little background.

I attend Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. I am currently enrolled in 3 english classes, 1 mass communications class, and a class on early roman civilization. I enjoy two of the english classes, Medieval English and Early Romantic Period. My medieval english professor is off his rocker, but that's a whole other story.

The english course which has drawn my hatred is "Introduction to Literary and Cultural Studies." So far, all I have gathered from the class is that apparently, one cannot read a book simply for enjoyment. Apparently, every piece of literature has some deeper underlying meaning, and I'm just not "with it" if I don't see the subtext.

First off, that's a bunch of bull****. The only reason I'm in this class is it's a requirement if you are an English Literature major. I have absolutely no interest in the class, and right now I'm just planning on passing, regardless of grade.

But the professor (condescending witch that she is) actually questioned a student when they said they liked to read things just for the enjoyment of reading them. Well, duh. Do you think people read Stephen King searching for some deep cultural meaning? Some comment on society? They read him because they want a good story that they can lose themselves in for a while.

I just finished reading Bruce Campbell's autobiography yesterday (entitled If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor) It was quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read, and I enjoyed it immensely. But apparently I was supposed to sit down with the book saying "Gee, I wonder what Bruce Campbell has to say about culture and literature on the whole?" Anyone who knows Bruce knows that this ain't a book where you look for deep meaning.

To put it bluntly, analysis has absolutely no place in what I read. I'm not going to re-read Heir to the Empire and notice subtle jabs at today's society that I didn't notice before. Why? Because they aren't there. The authors I enjoy aren't looking to comment on anything. They're looking to tell a good story and hopefully make a buck doing it. It's capitalism, gang.

I'm majoring in English Lit. because I want to be a writer. In fact, I've actually started kicking around a few ideas for a fantasy novel already. But note that genre: Fantasy. I'm not planning on including any discourse on human affairs in my writing.

Let's say my book is a success. I'm at a store doing an autograph session. I guarantee you someone will approach me and say "I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your little political satire in Chapter 7." Chances are I'll flip my book open to Chapter 7 and start scanning for some sort of political satire that I subconsciosly wrote.

My point is not every piece of litertaure has subtext. Not every novel has underlying themes that comment on the current social and political environment. Filmmakers have this same problem, with reviewers telling them certain scenes were social commentaries, when in fact they're just scenes in a movie.

Stop looking for things that aren't there. Just enjoy the book or movie for what it is. And if you think you pick up on something you didn't notice before, just say "Oh. Never noticed that before." And go about your business.

I hope some of you managed to see my point, even though my rant has run its course and is probably just gibberish at this

 

The second installment, from September 10.

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And now, another installment of Spiderdevil's Hatred Corner.

(SD sits in a chair reading, dressed in slacks and a cardigan. He puts down his book as the camera pans in.)

Oh, hi folks. Welcome to the second installment of my little show. Tonight's episode won't be very big, as it's basically just my thoughts on a particular subject. I don't have any burning hatred for it, but it does annoy me greatly.

Tonight, I'd like to talk about the much-ballyhooed EU Senate.

Now, when the Senate first started, a lot of people were really enthusiastic about it. Many signed up to be senators in various capacities. And for a while, it was fun. Perhaps a bright spot in an otherwise dull day.

Then, chaos struck. A constitution was proposed. Rumblings of discontent could be heard along the corridors of the EUC. Things went from bad to worse as some senators quit and the others began a mad bid for power. Eventually, the senate was disbanded and the thread closed.

Now, there is talk of reviving it. Some say it is a bad idea. I'm inclined to agree with them, and here's why:

It's completely and utterly pointless!!

The senate is nothing more than an idiotic roleplaying game that has absolutely no relevance whatsoever. It's not as if they can impose "legislation" on the boards, or attempt to exert some control over other users. The admins would be all over them like white on rice.

To paraphrase George Carlin: "Some think the Senate would be a radical act. It's not. Castrating a guy in the parking lot with a Coke bottle is a radical act."

The senate is a meaningless idea, people. We watched it go down in flames once. Don't make us subject to that ridiculousness again.

Well, I can see my producer giving me the signal that my time is up. Thanks for listening, gang, and I'll see you all next time on Spiderdevil's Hatred Corner.

 

And tonight's most recent installment.

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Good evening and welcome to tonight's edition of Spiderdevil's Hatred Corner. And now, Spiderdevil.

SD is relaxing in a large leather chair, watching television. He notices the camera and turns off the TV.

Hey gang. I noticed that my comments during the last installment garnered some negative responses. Well, tonight's topic may do just the same. But I figure, if I'm getting hate mail due to my hatred, I'm simply moving things along here in the Haters' Community.

What I would like to discuss this evening is the ideals behind Star Wars and how some people present them.

As a result of Tuesday's events, there were many people starting threads in Community saying things like "Let's kill so-and-so" or "Bomb the mother-******s" or my personal favorite (and this was an actual thread) "Jerry Falwell is un-American."

In response to this outcry of hatred, I noticed many people posting "Don't give into hate." Folks, I can't tell you how tired I am of hearing this.

Lord Bane expressed the same sentiment to me and my response was "I don't care how grand it sounds, Star Wars is no basis for a philosophy."

I'm sure many people use certain Star Wars quotes in an effort to sound more enlightened. Well guess what cousin, it only makes you sound like a Star Wars geek. Chances are if I'd approached an angry individual in high school and told him "Don't give into hate. That way leads to the dark side." I would have gotten myself punched.

And people in New Zealand listed The Force as their religion on their census forms? Folks, Ben Kenobi and the Jedi Knights may serve a higher cause, but it's no basis for an organized religion.

I just hope we don't start seeing little wristbands asking "What Would Yoda Do?"

Thank you and goodnight.

Queen's "We Are The Champions" begins to play as the camera pulls back and the lights dim.

 

Bravo, Herr Hatred.

By the way, in response to your first little jimmy, how goes the Pan?

 

i hate it when people drink soup out of cup why do people do it it's meant to be eaten out of a bowl.

 

DISCLAIMER

I have no problem with people using this thread as an outlet for hatred. What I do ask is that you present it as a clear and thought-out post. This is more of a rant thread than one to post mere irritations.

 

I've got something I hate, when people critcize you for an idea. I mean ideas are meant to be shared and used whenever possible. If it helps create a fun time for everyone, so be it. What's the point of complaining? I mean it's not going to go away, and the more you bitch and moan about it the longer it's going to stick around. So really you're just wasting people's time by complaining about it.

Anywhoo...the point of this pointless rant is if you don't like something, feel free to voice it. But when you completely and utterly bash it into the ground it kinda stings even though this is only online and you shouldn't take it too seriously. But still...it does leave an unpleasant feeling especially when you had only good intentions behind it.

Fire Ice Death

 

his is rants about what you hate, mine is just for pet peves.

 

Now, is this topic for "I'm going to smash things and everyone is stupid!" hatred, or the more subtle, cool, calculating kind of hate?

 

Make sure you go to the Haters' Community, though. This is an outlet, and not the real thing.

Sorry, SD. Don't mean to rample on it (I personally like it), but we don't want to lose recruits.

 

I understand completely, KN.

This thread is indeed an outlet for hatred. If you've got something eating at you that you just need to rant about, this is the place for it. Think about what you want to say and then post it here in a well-thought out manner.

Cool, calculating hatred, just like Dev said.

 

We come up from a black screen to reveal Rogue1-and-a-half at a computer, typing. He turns to the camera.

Hey, folks, come on in. Well, have I got the story for you. I'm really starting to develop a mild hatred for my job.

What has inspired this mild form of dislike? I'll tell you, it's the people.

Yes, the people. Idiots, all of them, in my opinion. Well, okay, there's this one nice guy, but he's the sole saving grace of this ship of fools.

First off, there's the guru! The all high powerful all knowing seer of all things wise. Yes, folks, he knows everything.

About my situation, he knows everything. The advice pours from this man like water from a faucet. Brown water, I might add.

First, let's say that the man's situations don't exactly lead one to expect pearls of wisdom from him. Dead end job, two ended marriages, working on a third, and the man expects me to emulate him? Sure, maybe tomorrow.

Secondly, this wisdom is hardly that. He seems to believe that I have no brain. He'll drop phrases like, "You know, life isn't fair. You just have to live with that."

Right, really, wow, the hell that was high school sure hadn't taught me that. Neither had losing my father to a heart attack at a young age. Somehow, I still held onto the hope that life was fair. Still, I guess you've convinced me.

Then he says, "You don't get anything for free. You must work for it all." Oh, God, the man is staggering in his insight. He must have been out of the house sometime in the last fifty years to figure that one out.

Then, "Work hard or you'll get nowhere." Right, yeah, I'm in college, remember?

Well, friends, I've gone on too long, I see by the hands on my clock.

Tune in next time, when I'll tell you about another coworker who really eats my lunch (not literally).

fade out

 

You don't work for Dilbert's boss, do you Half?

And does he also tell you to "Work smarter, not harder."?

 

At least I can say no one has ever said that to me. I think I'd really go ballistic if that happened.

By the way, this is a spectacular thread. Expect much participation from me in the days to come.

 

I look forward to it. My next rant may be about the parking policies here at Miami University.

 

I hate school.

The constant state of fatigue due to many factors, such as lack of sleep, stress, over concentration.

The morons who surround you with their feeble sheep-like mentalities.

The depressing building and surroundings.

It's pretty much a continuous two year struggle. One that must be endured for the sake of gaining some qualifications.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the train don't come on tuesdays. I've also said I hate school before, and it's worth mentioning again.

 

Heh, good one, Barns. It's the sheep like mentality that gets me more than anything.

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camera pans in to Rogue1-and-a-half sitting at a computer, staring off into space. He turns to the camera.

Oh, hi folks. Back so soon? Well, that's find by me, seeing as how there is always something to rant and rave about in this old world.

Ain't it the truth? Yeah. Anyway, the other day, I'm typing on this blamed computer, working very hard on a very special and very long project. It's a file I keep coming back to and adding onto, you realize.

Therefore, I have saved it numerous times. Numerous! This time, when I go to save it, some freaky little warning box pops up and says some junk about a file permission error. It shuts the program down.

No big deal, I say to myself, I'll just reopen it and retype the last couple of pages.

But, such was not to be the case. You see, the computer had deleted the entire fifty page file. Yes, tis true, friends. Fifty pages!

No, I had a backup so as far as that goes, it's still no big deal, but it's the principle of the thing that annoys me. I work my tail off and this dang computer seems to think that it can just delete it all, no big deal!

I've come to the conclusion, that while I may not hate computers in general, this particular one has earned my ire. Yes, friends, it makes me want to. . . to . . .

Half picks up keyboard and begins laying about him with it, smashing the console and screen, sending sparks flying. He flings the keyboard against the wall and twirls the mouse about his head, finally bringing it down hard on the table.

Excuse me, friends, I think I'll go take my medication now.

Camera pans out.

 

Camera moves in to find SD at a pool table, making a difficult shot. He notices camera and turns to lean on the table.

Back so soon, eh kids? Well, can't say that I blame you. There's a lot of hatred out there.

I'd like to pontificate tonight on how some SW fans hold the films in such high stature over other films. And not just other films within the science fiction genre.

I just finished reading through a thread in Community where someone was complaining that a television promo for Enterprise, the new Star Trek series, was blatantly ripping off the theatrical trailers for The Phantom Menace.

Folks, it's just a friggin' promo. Do you honestly think that because they used a similar format for ONE COMMERCIAL that the entire series will be a rip-off of Star Wars?

I am so sick and tired of hearing people on these boards whining about how this or that movie is just a rip-off of Star Wars.

I will acknowledge that sometimes there are irrefutable similarities between Star Wars and some other genre films and television series. But it's a fallacy to call them all rip-offs. When the similarities are intentional, then it is often an homage to Star Wars. The filmmakers are saying, "Hey, we know this movie wouldn't be successful were it not for the popularity of Star Wars, so here's a tip of the hat from us to George Lucas."

Now I understand that some movies are made with those similarities in an attempt to cash in on the Star Wars popularity, but sometimes the fans go too far. They just can't accept another good entry in the genre, so they start picking it apart, looking for the smallest detail so they can say "See? They're ripping off Lucas's dream!"

The most recent example I've seen is The Matrix, with people saying "Neo is just a rip-off of Anakin and Luke." Folks, do you really think George Lucas invented the concept of a "chosen one"? If Neo is a rip-off of the Skywalkers, then you'd better be prepared to show me incontrovertible proof that Christ rips off Star Wars as well. 'Cause son, he was a chosen one long before the Galaxy Far, Far Away was a twinkle in ol' George's eye.

There are other movies out there besides Star Wars. Many of them are better. Check them out sometime.

SD turns back to the table and begins lining up his next shot as the camera pulls back and fades to black.

 

"There are other movies out there besides Star Wars. Many of them are better. Check them out some time."

Amen! Finally someone said it! I agree.

 

'There are other movies out there besides Star Wars. Many of them are better.'

I emphatically disagree. While there are many good films, few come close to SW, IMO.

 

Well, few come close to Star Wars, but they do exist.

Dances with Wolves
Ben Hur
Platoon
Patton
Bridge on the River Kwai
Duck Soup
Unforgiven

There's more but I won't list them here. Suffice it to say that really it's like comparing apples to oranges comparing films of different genres. Let's just say that there are some films that are at least as good as Star Wars in their own way. Right?

 

I can live with that. But to imply that SW is pretty crap on a SW message board is a good reason to post in this thread!

 

Boys, I never meant to imply that the SW films are bad. Far from it. I'm just tired of hearing people act like they're the greatest creation to ever grace the Earth.

I'm just asking that folks acknowledge that there are other entries in the science fiction genre that are just as good in their own right. I try to keep SW classified to science fiction or fantasy. To compare it to movies in other genres is pretty pointless. Like The Shawshank Redemption. It's an outstanding film, but it's useless to compare it to SW

 

Shawshank ruled.