Saga Spirit Warriors of Angharad *COMPLETE* Link to MS Word version available 8/4

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ophelia, May 10, 2004.

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  1. lvk1978 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2004
    star 3
    OMG, I'm in your sig line! :eek:

    Really, though, I'm still not sure why I liked that chapter. I read the darn thing, opened the reply window, then just sat there like a dork with a satisfied grin on my face...it was weird. Kind of like me.

    I was kinda laughing at Matreya, poor thing! Just crank it and go, precious. I'm tellin' ya now, I'd be positively lethal on that thing. Jeez-Louise, and the town drunk guy...aw, man. War really *is* heck. :_|

    *reads over sj's shoulder* Just try and make sense of us -- I double-dog dare ya. And you missed the Great Ant Invasion of 2005. Holy cow! Better than any horror movie 'cause it was REAL!

    *sings* I don't want to work today, 'cause I'm in a sig line! *sings*
  2. Arin_Atona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 4
    : And you missed the Great Ant Invasion of 2005.

    Attack of the Clones...
    [image=http://www.alcoris.com/tfn-images/ant-trooper.gif]
  3. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Is that ant wearing a gas mask, or sunglasses, or . . . what? :confused:

    ****

    ?There?s nothing to hit out here,? Hoel assured her. No, she thought, not unless you counted swarms of vehicles fighting on who-knew-which side or the blasts of ion cannons. ?The starter?s on the far side of the steering column?brakes and accelerators at your feet,? Hoel told her.

    Oh, *good* . . . the last time someone had given her a technical introduction that quick, she?d been trying to put out a shipboard fire by sealing off and deoxygenating all the burning sections--and not, for instance, the sections with the crew in them. Somewhere in the galaxy there were a dozen people who were alive solely because the red button on the left somehow looked more emergency-like than the red button on the right.

    This was not the kind of experience she especially wanted to repeat. Niether did Mouse, apparently, because the little droid had started an alarmed-sounding protest of ?Nononononononono . . .?

    It would probably be better if Mouse stayed with Pepik, anyway. She unslung her pack and removed the droid from his mesh pouch, and then pulled his collapsible ?big wheel? harness out of a side pocket. She soon had him snapped into it, and he was more or less able to maneuver through the tall grass. ?Go start triage, Mouse,? she told him. Mouse trundled off still burbling ?Nonononono,? but his programming wouldn?t let him run and hide when someone needed his help.

    Matreya wasn?t feeling much braver than her droid friend as she walked over to the swoop. After a second of eyeing it anxiously, she forced herself to throw one leg over its seat. The vehicle had adjustable components that weren?t set properly for her height, and the saddle-like seat was awkward in a skirt, but she managed to settle herself into something resembling a proper piloting position. Having no other excuses for delay, she cautiously touched the start-up button on the steering column?s side.

    The swoop jolted forward as if kicked, and then it kept going, picking up momentum as it went. She began a panicky alternation of hitting the accelerators and hitting the brakes, unable to find a speed that was suited the urgent situation and yet didn?t terrify her. Her journey was closer to a series of sharp jerks than an actual flight trajectory, and it was all she could do to keep the blasted vehicle aimed at the med tent. The only good part of the situation was that if anyone was shooting at her, she was too preoccupied to notice. There would have been nothing she could have done about it, anyway.

    She stomped a little too hard on the brakes as she pulled up outside the med tent, and nearly flung herself forward onto the steering bars. Shaken?not least because she was going to have to drive the thing *back*--she slid off the seat and hurried through the tent?s open doorway. Four strange, ethereal-looking med droids with slender cylindrical bodies and multiple long, thin arms were hovering around the central pod, which appeared to be just finishing its automated set-up sequence. Six pallet-like beds that doubled as gravisleds could be folded down from the pod?s external walls, while the cavity inside it functioned as an extremely small but fully functional diagnostic lab.

    One of the vaguely insectile droids floated over to her and asked in a voice that was much more pleasant and reassuring than its appearance, ?How may we assist you??

    ?I need help for an injured man who can?t move . . . he was thrown from a speeder,? Matreya told it.

    ?Oh, dear,? the droid said, in a too-precise imitation of sympathy. ?Is he far away??

    ?No?a couple of hundred meters, at most,? she said. Her breakneck ride with Hoel had disoriented her, and she couldn?t have told the droid whether Pepik lay to the north, south, east, or west. ?I can show you in a moment.?

    She kept her identistrip clipped to a fabric cord sewn into her skirt pocket, and she removed it now and punched it into an information slot on the pod?s side. The strip would id
  4. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    ohfrikkfrikkfrikkfrikkfrikk...

    But the post was so amusing in all the weird places.

    Somewhere in the galaxy there were a dozen people who were alive solely because the red button on the left somehow looked more emergency-like than the red button on the right.

    and

    The strip would identify her as a medical professional, and therefore allow the droids to ask her sensible questions instead of making unconvincing attempts to be nice to her.


    Those are so believable.
  5. lvk1978 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2004
    star 3
    Is that ant wearing a gas mask, or sunglasses, or . . . what?

    Or what, silly! It's wearing a Stormtrooper helmet! Coolness!
  6. lvk1978 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2004
    star 3
    ?Somewhere in the galaxy there were a dozen people who were alive solely because the red button on the left somehow looked more emergency-like than the red button on the right.

    YAY for red buttons! I just love the one in Padmé?s Noobian Cruiser of Love. That sucker does just about everything! Loved the super-dee-duper triage/lab/MASH tents! I notice they don?t have tent poles. :p

    One of the vaguely insectile droids floated over to her and asked in a voice that was much more pleasant and reassuring than its appearance, ?How may we assist you??

    YAY for the vaguely insectile droids! I?m picturing one like the droid who told Obi and Bail that Padmé was dying -- all soothing and lovely. YAY for inappropriate affect!

    ?Anyone who?d ever had the misfortune to rub elbows with Coruscant?s power broker set during the past decade or so knew Auster Perahta on sight. He made an entrance that was hard to forget.

    ?The tent got deathly quiet when Perahta entered?even the machines seemed muted, somehow. Of course, that could have just been the roaring of panic that filled Matreya?s ears.


    YAY for dastardly villains! They make me angry and want to throw rotten eggs at my screen. YAY for roaring panic! ?cause that?s EXACTLY the way I?d feel.

    As if from a great distance, she heard the mercenary captain say, ?Kill the natives. And if you see that . . . *Jedi* anywhere among them, kill him too. That bad leg of his will force him into one of these tents sooner or later.?

    YAY for ?that?*Jedi*?! He is a PITA who will surely put the dastardly villain in his place!

    YAY for the author! @};- She?s really got me going now, just like I knew she would. ;)
  7. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    OMG, i just realized they don't have tentpoles! How will Obi-Wan come to the rescue if he has nothing to fight with?!
  8. LadyPadme Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2002
    star 5


    I'm going to just ask that the readers on this thread try to keep the chatter down a bit. While ophelia's story is certainly well worth commenting on, the off-story chatter is starting to head into spamming zone.
  9. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  10. Shadowolf Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2005
    star 2
    Kill the natives?! WHAT?! The effing son of a zabrak! (the best I could come up with really) how could he?! You don't take over a MASH unit! You just don't do such things! Oooh, I know one temporarily lame Jedi that's gonna kick his hindquarters good!

    Excellent section! Absolutely excellent!

    One of these days I'm actually gonna get to join the conversation not just do quick feedback posts. :)
  11. Arin_Atona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 4
    : The strip would identify her as a medical professional, and therefore allow the droids to ask her sensible questions instead of making unconvincing attempts to be nice to her.

    I need one of those...

    : ?Kill the natives. And if you see that . . . *Jedi* anywhere among them, kill him too. That bad leg of his will force him into one of these tents sooner or later.?

    I take some small comfort in knowing he's dealing with a woman that spends her time poking people with needles. He needs a nasty incurable skin-rotting fungus in a really inconvenient place.
  12. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Hi, guys . . . I wasn't going to reply until later, since this post is going to be yet another non-story-related post sending the fic to the top of the Saga forum, but I had a reader PM me about concerns related to LP's edit above.

    In a nutshell, LP has been getting complaints about the story contantly hovering near the top of the first page because of posts that aren't related to the story. Rightly or wrongly, a spot on the first page is a coveted position, and people get ticked when a story stays there--forcing another one off onto page 2--for a very long time, especially if the conversation looks like nothing but "fluff."

    Just for the record, it's kind of an unwritten rule that a story thread has crossed into spam territory when the readers start making non-story-related posts to one another. Very old and long stories do tend to turn into mini-communities in their own right, which is great, but if they become too social-thread-like people get upset.

    I probably ought to have said something (and no, I did not ask LP to come in and make a "stay on-topic" post), but I'm honestly somewhat confused about how much socialization is allowed where. Sad, since I helped write the guideline on it. You see, we had this rule, then it got interpreted super-strictly, then we had a rebellion, "fire and brimstone, dogs and cats . . . living together, mass hysteria!" and then suddenly the rule was almost not being modded for at all. So I didn't know what to tell you guys. I was concerned that seeing this story's title at the top of the page all the time was making people homicidal, however. Lord knows I'm sick of seeing it.

    Rather than try to guess what the rule I helped write "really means" (Force help me . . . Force help us *all*), I'm just going to cut the Gordian knot and say that there are new authors here and authors who write stories in less popular genres, and they don't get the exposure they'd like. It really bugs them when an ancient thread is constantly hogging a spot on page 1, especially if it's there because of readers talking to one another about things that aren't strictly story-related.

    I'm not even going to pretend to know what is and isn't "on topic." Let us wad that issue up and throw it in the trash. All I'll say is that it would be best if this thread weren't kicked up to the top of the Saga too often. If people are talking about something and you'd like to respond, consider waiting a bit, and maybe replying to a collection of users all in one post. Alternately, you could tack more socially-related things onto the end of a story-related post.

    I am enormously grateful for your interest and support, especially considering how difficult it's been for me to continue on with this over the past few weeks. Even if you don't say something "on-topic" (whatever that means), just knowing you're reading is a great feeling. Please don't think that I'm spurning your replies or that I don't want to hear from you. All I'll ask, in the name of authors who get little attention, is that people slow the rate of posting a bit. My guess is that if this story is only kicked up to the top of the page 3 or 4 times a day instead of 6 or 7 (as it sometimes is), the problem of what is or isn't "on topic" will go away. People can certainly PM me as well, and my e-mail address is in my bio. I don't have my AIM screenname up, since I never get anything done when I'm on AIM, :p but if you want it, I'll give it to you.

    Thanks once again for your support. :) I'll have to give "on topic" author replies later, ideally with my story post, assuming I'm still conscious by then. Combining the 2 leaves one less time for the thread to be knocked to the top. ;)
  13. sentinel75 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2004
    star 1
    Re 'Kill the natives...': Is medical amnesty/neutrality/sanctuary a concept in the GFFA?


    (Not that us down here pay attention to it when it suits us...)
  14. LadyPadme Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2002
    star 5


    At the risk of throwing this thread 'off topic' again so to speak, I would like to apologize for my haste earlier today. I should have PM'd ophelia first and asked her to speak with you about the spam. She's been very gracious about the issue and I thank her for that. And her explanation about what constitutes spamming is right on target. Some chatter in a story thread is allowed, but we just ask users to use some common sense in this regard and be considerate of other authors and other threads.

  15. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

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    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Eh, no worries. You should stick around and read, LP. It's only 323,000 words long. ::low, eerie laugh that builds slowly to a piercing shriek::

    sentinel75 wrote: Is medical amnesty/neutrality/sanctuary a concept in the GFFA?

    Yeah, I think so . . . they've got these big diamond symbols on the side of the tents. FWIW, that's actually a symbol registered to the Red Cross, but they've never used it. Anyway, I think Perahta's just a rat-*******. :p

    Arin wrote: I take some small comfort in knowing he's dealing with a woman that spends her time poking people with needles. He needs a nasty incurable skin-rotting fungus in a really inconvenient place.

    Wow . . . you're actually meaner to Obi-Wan than his fans. I didn't think that was possible. :p What did he ever do to you?! (There--now I've changed my sig.) :p


    Shadowolf wrote: Oooh, I know one temporarily lame Jedi that's gonna kick his hindquarters good!

    Well, *somebody's* going to. ;)

    Excellent section! Absolutely excellent!

    Aww . . . thank you. [face_blush]

    One of these days I'm actually gonna get to join the conversation not just do quick feedback posts.

    Do--there's no harm in it, so long as we don't go overboard. I suspect we can actually get away with more after "peak hours" . . . when it's the dead of night in the U.S. Not that everyone can afford to be awake then. :p

    lvk wrote: YAY for red buttons! I just love the one in Padmé?s Noobian Cruiser of Love.

    Yeah . . . I was actually thinking that. I'm pretty sure she hits the same damn "do everything" button in RotS. :p

    YAY for inappropriate affect!

    [face_laugh] You know, I missed that the first time I read your post. I have no idea if you work in the psychology field, but you have just made my day . . . well . . . night.

    And yeah . . . no tent poles. The pod in the center acts like a column holding it up, and the material maintains its shape on its own. Basically, I needed a tent, but hadn't left enough time in my sequence of events for people to have set one up. So I invented one that set itself up--no poles required. I need one the next time I go camping. Also, I have no idea how these things get packed up and taken home. :p They seem too expensive to leave.

    Ish wrote: But the post was so amusing in all the weird places.

    That's because writing was like carving terms of abuse into my own flesh last night, and I was just saying any old thing. :p

    And now, Anakin being a general weapons-happy froot loop.

    ****

    The horizon wheeled around Anakin as he barrel-rolled the Ascender, trying to keep enemy fire away from his craft?s broad, triangular wings. One of his lateral shields was low, and he?d just as soon not get hit there again. His current cart-wheeling maneuver was an attempt to get one of the Vipers to chase him without actually succeeding in blasting him. The Viper pilot went for the ruse?perhaps realizing that Anakin had taken a couple too many hits to his right side, and was vulnerable.

    The young Jedi pulled back on the controls and sent the Ascender streaking upward, its wings slicing through the atmosphere and creating fearsome artificial thunder. For an instant he felt hard pressure on his chest and a disorienting drag backward on the flesh of his face, but then the ship?s gravity compensators kicked in and the number of g?s in the cockpit began dropping back toward one. His scopes revealed that the Viper was trailing him by a long way. The Ascender didn?t get its name for nothing.

    Vipers might not have that kind of ferocious engine thrust, but they greatly outperformed the Ascenders in terms of maneuverability, particularly within an atmosphere. That was why if an Ascender pilot chose to bait the pilot of such a ship, it was better to do it from a good distance. As it happened, Ankain didn?t have the Viper chasing him long. His squad wing?s other escort pilot swooped up and blindsided the enemy ship with a tor
  16. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    ...

    ...

    ...

    Can I just say

    ...

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The reaction of Anakin to the situation, especially the perception that Green Leader would have never said that to anyone except someone labelled as the Chosen One. The tears of loneliness seriously got to me and I was almost ready to cheer when he was swinging down on darthrocky and then I went 'OH CRAP! NO!'
  17. Arin_Atona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 4
    : Wow . . . you're actually meaner to Obi-Wan than his fans.

    [face_laugh] I was referring to Perahta in my wishing for flesh-eating fungi. ;)

    : He didn?t bother with the ship?s ladder; he just planted one foot on the canopy seal that divided the cockpit from the fuselage, and flung himself forward in a somersaulting flip. His lightsaber was ignited before he hit the ground.

    Hmm. Reminds me of Obi's little stunt in ROTS.

    : To his surprise, Obi-Wan held out one heavily-gloved hand and shouted, ?Anakin?no!?

    I kinda figured the Chosen One would show up sooner or later... and he's done so in typical Chosen One style - not bothering to assess the situation before acting.

    [threepio] Typical. [/threepio]
  18. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Oh, got it. You quoted Perahta's rant about Obi-Wan right before the fungus wish, & I figured it referred to him, since you're not Obi's greatest fan. :p Can I keep my sig quote anyway?!

    :p
  19. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    That little touch about a flash of colours as seen from above? Ah, brilliant. The visuals are awesome. And here's Anakin to the rescue. Of sorts.

    I loved the tears-stinging feeling he went through too. The 'Qui-Gon made a mistake' part. And where he thinks Obi needs his 'loyal' padawan. The poor boy... :)

  20. lvk1978 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2004
    star 3
    You know, I wasn't going to comment what with all the folderol and hoopla, but I just can't help myself. The tears were just rolling down my cheeks -- what a chapter!

    ...but then the droid threw on its afterburners and dragged away the ship?s remains?looking rather like an ant hauling away a dead wasp.

    I loved this little detail -- kind of reminded me of a little tugboat towing a great big cruise liner.

    ...By contrast, the Jedi sent only its greatest warriors to undertake this most dangerous of tasks. Masters Windu and Yoda were down there somewhere, as were several other Jedi Council members. Anakin felt a strange mixture of pride and anxiety as he looked down at the Order?s greatest Knights, who were facing the battlefield?s most severe risks in an attempt to save an outworld people who weren?t even part of their jurisdiction. The boy remembered how he?d been so angry that nobody seemed to care about the poor and helpless people of the galaxy, and in that moment, he loved the Jedi. Every now and then, he saw in them what Obi-Wan must have seen. The Jedi Knights were the bravest of the brave, and the last hope of the hopeless. In that, they were beautiful. Certainly they were far more than the dour, humorless taskmasters that Anakin usually saw?people whose one great goal in life seemed to be to make sure everyone felt guilty most of the time and nobody had any fun.

    Holy cow, that was *so* purty and it kind of contradicts what Matreya was thinking earlier. I know where she's coming from, but during the execution of Order 66 it was the cream of the crop that was massacred. Never mind that the second generation was being massacred back home. Really and truly, that's such a beautiful description! Very few beings *deserve* to die and your description is the perfect reason why they didn't *deserve* to die as I have read in many a post-RotS post.

    Most of them were great and noble people, and in his less resentful moments, he was very grateful they?d taken him in.

    I'd like to think that he actually felt this way some time in his life.

    In his misery, he almost dismissed the distant flashes of red and purple light a good distance away across the hills to his right. Whatever was causing the flashing was outside the sprawling field of battle, and therefore not really any of his concern. Something about the pattern and rhythm of the flashing, though . . .

    Great detail. I just *knew* he was going to get a feeling about Obi-Wan and SquirrelBoy.

    Over time, a Jedi?s fighting style became as familiar as his speech pattern. ?Obi-Wan,? Anakin said to himself softly.

    :_| Awww, he *does* love him! :_|

    ...He had no idea what kind of purple thing Obi-Wan was using to combat the Sith, but the Master Jedi needed his real lightsaber, which Anakin wore at his hip. Obi-Wan also needed his loyal Padawan at his side, whether the man realized it or not.

    :_| He *does* know it, he *does*! :_| Although he seemed to have forgotten during RotS... :p

    Anakin?s feet struck the soil at the same moment he brought the blue saber blade straight down toward the Sith?s head. To his surprise, Obi-Wan held out one heavily-gloved hand and shouted, ?Anakin?no!?

    Wow, just WOW! Holy cow! [face_cow] I wish there was a crying cow 'cause that's the way I feel! :_|

    P.S. to Arin -- *I* got it. Even though I didn't know you didn't like Obi-Wan, *I* knew you meant Perahta. But it does make a cool Obi-Wan saying in your sig line, ophelia. YAY for not getting it!
  21. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Unfortunately I don?t really have time to give proper comments on all of this as I catch up reading, but there are some things that are just too good to pass up.... took me a few days to do so :p

    In any case, he was treading the edge of heresy, and had to watch his step. Qui-Gon would have been so proud.

    [face_laugh] Indeed ;) I love how throughout the story, Obi-Wan has this tendency to be really shocked by Code-breaking and all the deviant things he?s been flirting with :p There?s really nothing wrong with following the rules, contrary to what a lot of people think. Some people just like saying the rules all suck no matter what they are, just to be rebellious. But I think Obi-Wan understands that Qui-Gon wasn?t breaking rules just for the sake of it, but that he had genuinely valid convictions.

    perhaps she?d seen something amusing in the juxtaposition of the mundane, almost-feminine knowledge of how to braid hair and his deliberately-arrogant ?You have gravely underestimated the extent of my powers? expression.

    Lol! How could you not? I could just picture this scene. So Obi-Wan.

    ?Yes . . . for my parents, and my brother.? He didn?t know why, but it felt as though he were doing a forbidden thing by mentioning them.

    That?s sweet? but the really weird thing is how creepily in tune our brains seem to be. See, once again as I write this part of SotC, I?m going to feel like I?m just copying you all the time, even if the backstory?s different :(. It?s especially bad because I wrote this all in my head months ago but haven?t gotten it down. Stop making me feel like a hack :p

    However, you have just managed to weave such an amazing background for Obi-Wan that there?s really no comparing it with anything. I really love the way you say and have shown (more importantly) that Obi-Wan trusts in the Force like a child in a parent. Beautiful characterization.

    And while the galaxy did not need to fear angry Jedi, since they officially did not exist, having a Jedi become very unhappy with you was not a path to longevity.

    Muahahah! I loved that. Go on, Obi-Wan, kick some arse :cool:

    he pulled an Anakin maneuver and steered with his knees while reaching into the bag slung over his steering bars.

    :eek: Yes, Anakin would be proud. Woah there, Obi-Wan, getting all fancy and reckless on us :p I drove with my knees for about 2 blocks once down a deserted street while getting my protein bar wrapper open, before I became deathly afraid of doing something stupid and grabbed the wheel for dear life. Such a rebel :p I think I know how he feels.

    //?Oh, look dear, a lame thing down the canyon. Shall we comm the neighbors, or let it be just the two of us??//

    Eep! I don?t want vultures to eat Obi-Wan :( That wouldn?t be very nice.

    It was solid proof that pain and pleasure fundamentally existed only in the mind, and he decided that--if he lived long enough--he would make a point of boring the Temple?s Padawans with the example.

    He would be thinking about how this would make an excellent lesson :p Or maybe that?s just your teacheryness showing through ;) But he is right about pain and pleasure being only states of mind. Cross country taught me that, even if I hate it now because my mind things I can run the mile a lot faster than I actually can without having my heart explode.

    Oooh, I loved the little bit back to Matreya?s POV, just because it?s always nice to get that personal edge in there amongst the explosions. And everyone rushing off to see what that crazy, loveable Jedi is doing? :D

    However, if he?d had the time to take a very careful look inside, he might have noticed that the pain and shame over what Perahta?s men had done to him had lessened somewhat.

    Oh :( That reminder made me really sad. Obi-Wan is very good at suppressing these kinds of things, but that doesn?t mean they?re not there. But it was more the reminder of *my* sadness over Obi-Wan being tortured that got me here. Glad to see him feeling more dignified.

    Some of the
  22. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Awww . . . bless you sj! [:D] It'll take me a while to reply to all that, so give me a bit. I've got enough going on that I probably shouldn't even be writing fanfic, but I'm *so* close to the end . . . [face_worried]

    There's a POV shift to Obi-Wan here. It would be obvious in the text because there'd be a little divider there, but since I *always* start posts with a little divider, that's not very helpful here. :p

    ****

    Had the Sith been ready to betray his Master to the Jedi? Obi-Wan would never know. All he knew was that he had sensed a hesitation there, a wavering. Yet the moment the Sith spun to lock blades with Anakin, the chance was lost. If the both Master and Padawan lived through this, they were going to have to go over the ?think before you draw your weapon? lesson again.

    For the moment, however, Obi-Wan had to help his Padawan deal with an enraged, winged Sith Lord. The two apprentices had engaged each other well outside of Obi-Wan?s reach, so he planted the end of his staff on the ground and struggled to drag himself to his feet. Anakin glanced over and looked alarmed. ?Stay where you are, Master,? he urged. ?I?ll take care of him.?

    ?Yes,? the Sith hissed, looking at Anakin like a cat eyeing a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest, ?stay where you are, ?Master.?? The creature threw a furious volley of blows at Anakin, striking sparks off the blue blade as the boy blocked high, low, and high again in a series of blazing arcs. If Vengeance thought he was going to create an opening by confusing Anakin into taking up a sloppy guard stance, then he was mistaken. The boy had been known to make technical errors in his defense, but they were almost never the kind that would allow a hit from a swordsman of the Sith?s ability. That didn?t mean Anakin was invulnerable, however. His mental defenses were still so fragile?more a Jedi child?s than a Jedi adolescent?s. The Sith had proven earlier that he was willing to use Anakin?s emotional weaknesses against him. The boy was not in good mental condition, either?Obi-Wan could sense his emotional exhaustion, and the reflexive, jumpy quality that came from near-constant fear. The poor little fellow . . . Obi-Wan would not have been in much better shape if he?d been forced to leave his injured Master and fend for himself at sixteen, especially for so many days under who-knew-what conditions.

    As Obi-Wan dragged himself upright, he sent Anakin a wave of calm and peace through the Force. The Master Jedi had considered himself good at staying cool under fire, but the past few weeks had forced him to learn much more about maintaining quiet and stillness in the face of chaos. He offered the fruits of that enforced study to Anakin, and sensed the boy accept them gratefully. Apparently, while Anakin had proved that he could indeed survive without Obi-Wan?s help, the magic of total independence was gone.

    As Obi-Wan limped with painful slowness toward the battle, the Sith suddenly looked over, and Obi-Wan was once again struck by the unnatural orange-red of his eyes?the same eyes that the Sith on Naboo had. Obi-Wan had expected a hiss or perhaps a curse from the creature, but he was taken by surprise when the Sith made a Force-assisted leap up and away from Anakin, back-flipping over to the spot where Obi-Wan stood.

    The Master Jedi had his staff up in an instant and began blocking the rain of blows that inevitably followed the Sith?s arrival. It was only after Obi-Wan picked up the fear and outrage radiating from his Padawan that he understood the Sith?s strategy. Truly, the being knew Anakin well. Obi-Wan was the physically weaker of Vengeance?s enemies, and conventional wisdom would have dictated that he be dealt with last. However, Obi-Wan?s weakness very clearly triggered Anakin?s.

    ?Leave him alone!? the boy shouted, sounding much more like a frightened and angry child than a young Jedi. ?He?s not even armed, you coward!? With that, Anakin came after Vengeance with a Force leap of his own. H
  23. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    "COME TO YOUR SENSES!"

    GAH! Ophelia, stop leaving things hanging at points like this! Gah! Gah! Gah! Gah! GAH! My sithly little heart can't take that kind of stress! I loved the fight scene for all the obvious reasons, like anakin's bullying and then falling back out of instinct to where he should be.
  24. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    <Rubs hands in glee> There's nothing quite like a no-holds-barred fight, after all. :D

    Argh, argh, argh. What a place to leave us in :mad: . The duel was brilliant. Particularly Anakin rushing into 'defend' Obi-Wan <"...However, Obi-Wan?s weakness very clearly triggered Anakin?s...">
    - argh, that wretched Sith, playing on his emotions so perfectly. It couldn't have chosen a better target.

    Oh, loved Obi-Wan, with his patience, his craftiness, and his excellent tactics. And his yelling to Anakin that it wasn't a 'school-yard'.

    >>>What the boy had was an uncanny instinct regarding events in the physical world. He was like a young prodigy who could be brought onstage with a master musician and instantly begin to improvise a harmony to the master?s performance, without ever having heard the tune or seen the score>>>

    Ah, the seeds of greatness - not really having to know what's been done beforehand - but the ability to just jump in, and take off as though you've been there from the beginning. Awesome.

    >>Master: diminuendo; Anakin: forte.>>>

    Gah, loved that bit to pieces - so like the grand entrance, with drum-rolls... [face_love]

    >>>This was no way for a good Jedi to die?on his knees, at the feet of a Sith.>>>

    Noooooooooo..............:_|

    <Will now settle down to glare at Ophelia for having left us all dangling on the edge of the biggest cliff EVAH!>
  25. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Aw, I like that Obi-Wan has some real sympathy for what Anakin has gone through, even if he doesn?t exactly know. It also helped to remind me of all the terrible things Anakin?s gone through here by himself so I don?t just want to smack him as much for being a dolt :p

    I can understand why he?d be mad that Vengeance is getting cheap shots in at Obi-Wan. But let?s just hope this time, with his Master?s help, Anakin doesn?t fall prey to the Sith?s tricks?

    Good point about not always just fighting as fast and intense as possible. Obi-Wan does have some personal experience with how that works out :(

    Also some good insight into Anakin?s natural ability? it?s just really too bad he doesn?t have the personal strength or sense to back it up.

    The great danger of Force sensitivity was that it could lead one to mistake unfounded assumptions for supernatural guidance.

    Ahhhhh! No freaking joke. Someone should have told Anakin this :oops: In a way that would get him to listen! The thing is that he?s so connected to the Force in some ways, but in other ways he?s not and he just starts thinking that every ?feeling? he has is what?s right, even if it?s just really what he wants. Nice insight there.

    Oh darn! Those unexpected Force pushes every time! You?d think that the fighters or readers would remember those, but I managed to be just as taken off guard as they were.

    The Sith lashed out and kicked Obi-Wan hard in his bad leg.

    :eek: :( :mad:

    The part of his mind that was capable of doing more than just coping with the agony was disgusted by his helplessness. This was no way for a good Jedi to die?on his knees, at the feet of a Sith.

    :_| Obi-Wan, why do you have to be so brave and noble and sad all the time :(

    -sj loves kevin spacey

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