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Sports jokes

Discussion in 'Archive: The Arena' started by JMJacenSolo, Nov 6, 2010.

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  1. JMJacenSolo

    JMJacenSolo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 21, 2006
    I'm guessing we've pretty much all heard the standard slate of sports jokes ("What do you call 53 guys sitting on the couch watching the playoffs...?" "What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?" etc.), but maybe we can unearth a new gem here.

    This one's my all-time favorite


     
  2. MarcusP2

    MarcusP2 Games and Community Reaper star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2004
    I've heard that one about many teams in all sports. It's a classic.
     
  3. World_Cup_Wally

    World_Cup_Wally Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 27, 2010
  4. Lowbacca_1977

    Lowbacca_1977 Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2006
    Washington State
     
  5. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    University of Memphis football. *sigh*

    What DO you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
     
  6. World_Cup_Wally

    World_Cup_Wally Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 27, 2010
    A thief.

    I guess.
     
  7. The Great No One

    The Great No One Jedi Grand Master star 8

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2005
    a former free agent.

    or a washed up veteran at his last stop.

    although i suppose a thief is funnier.
     
  8. ApolloSmileGirl

    ApolloSmileGirl Jedi Knight star 8

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2004
    What do you call 53 millionaires watching the Superbowl?


































    The Dallas Cowboys
     
  9. Nevermind

    Nevermind Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 2001
    Reporter: "How would you improve hockey in Canada?"

    Fred Shero: (old Philadelphia Flyer coach): "Don't show Leaf games on TV."
     
  10. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    ... A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl. His excitement lessened as he realized his seat was in the back of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a better seat, he found an empty one right next to the field.

    He approached the man sitting next to the empty seat and asked if it was taken.
    The man replied, "No."

    Amazed the young man asked, "How could someone pass up a seat like this?"

    The older gentleman responded, "That's my wife's seat. We've been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she has passed away."

    "Oh, how sad," the man said. "I'm sorry to hear that, but couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?"

    "No," the man said, "They're all at the funeral."

     
  11. Darth McClain

    Darth McClain Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2000
    [face_laugh] Zing!
     
  12. darthdrago

    darthdrago Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    USC = University of Spoiled Children


    USC = University of South Central


    etc. etc.


    I also know one about UCLA, but it's politically incorrect and would land me a ban.
     
  13. JMJacenSolo

    JMJacenSolo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 21, 2006
    "Thief" is the correct answer.

    Nice one, Rhonderoo. Had never heard it before; that's why I started this thread.

    One time, I asked a good friend of mine(a huge NFL fan) via IM how you keep Bears out of your camp-site. He answered very seriously, suggesting putting up bear traps and banging pots and pans to make loud noise. Then I said simply "Put up some goal posts".
     
  14. JediMaster1511

    JediMaster1511 Jedi Grand Master star 10

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2010

    The 2010 New York Giants Defense would work as well.
     
  15. Rogue...Jedi

    Rogue...Jedi Administrator Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    I have a feeling I know that one. Maybe its just something similar, though.
     
  16. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick SfC Part IV Commissioner star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000
    [image=http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/img/donald_sterling.jpg]

    [hl=yellow]They beat Boston!: 2009-2010 L.A. Lakers: Back-to-Back World Champions [/hl]:cool:
     
  17. DarthIntegral

    DarthIntegral VIP star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2005
    A farmer was walking in his fields near Ann Arbor, Michigan and he heard the sound of distant singing. Confused, he tried to follow the sound. It led him to a group of his cattle and surprisingly to the rear end of one little calf. He bent down and lifted the tail so he could hear clearer and it was the University of Michigan Fight Song!

    Amazed, the farmer loaded his calf into a trailer and drove into town. He went to see his vet and explained what he had discovered. The vet said "well, bring em out and we'll take a look." So the farmer led the calf out of his trailer and up the vet. The vet bent down, lifted the tail and calmly stood back up. "Sure enough, that is the University of Michigan Fight Song."

    The farmer was ecstatic. "Doc! Why aren't you more excited!? This is amazing! Unheard of! We gotta tell people!"

    The vet, a third generation Ohio State University grad said, "Hell Bud, I'm a Buckeye- I have been listening to ***holes sing that song my whole life"
     
  18. s65horsey

    s65horsey Otter-loving Former EUC Mod star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 24, 2006
    A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

    The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

    After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

    After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.


    I originally heard that one with the Denver Broncos being the punchline.
     
  19. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    I heard it, but the boy was a bear, and the team was the Chicago Bears.
     
  20. darthdrago

    darthdrago Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    Shoot me a PM and we can confirm if it's the same joke. :D
     
  21. Nevermind

    Nevermind Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 2001
    Two Vancouver Canuck players were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "Bear Left" so they went home.
     
  22. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    There's a tornado warning for Dallas, Texas. All residents should seek shelter at Dallas stadium because there's no chance of a touchdown there.
     
  23. Nevermind

    Nevermind Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 2001
    What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto ?

    None of them can play hockey.
     
  24. Revan_Kenobi

    Revan_Kenobi Jedi Padawan

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2010
    lmao!
     
  25. darthdrago

    darthdrago Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    "I don't talk to kickers. What do you say to kickers? Kick???"
    --Joe Paterno, Penn State football coach
     
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