Standardized Testing for Padawans (Humor)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Maru-Ba, Mar 14, 2001.

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  1. Maru-Ba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 4
    I'm taking the FCAT this week and it inspired me to write this fic. Enjoy!
    Feedback please!


    Standardized Testing for Padawans (Humor)
    The character Mary is mine, read more about her in the other short stories with her and the long TPM fi ?The Other?. All the rest are Lucas? and I make no money off of their use.
    No spoilers for anything.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Every year the Jedi padawans have to take the I-JEDI standardized test (Intriguing Jedi Exams for Determined Individuals). For generations padawans have dreaded the test and a few even turned to the Dark Side after the testing. When it came time for Jedi Padawan Mary Rodel to take the test she was very apprehensive. She was a good student in all subjects, Jedi skills and classes for the expanse of knowledge.

    The night before the test Mary is sitting on the couch with her master, Qui-Gon Jinn. ?Okay, practice question one?when holding a lightsaber which end do you hold. A) The blade, B) You don?t touch it, you told it in a telekinesis Force grip, C) The handle D) None of the above.? Qui asked her nervous padawan. ?Uhhh?okay?deep breaths? C! And that?s my final answer!?

    Qui glanced at his student, ?Yes. Now, the next question. A Sith is, A) Dark Jedi, B) A type of laundry detergent, C) An alien race D) The name of Master Yoda?s goldfish.? Mary frowned, ?Is answer D REALLY on the test??

    Qui handed her the preparation booklet, ?Yes, it is. Mary, just go to bed. You need your rest for the test tomorrow. I?m sure you?ll do fine.? ?Fine,? the teenager grumbled.
    Mary went to her room and changed into her favorite pair of sleepers with the rancors chasing pink bunnies, after changing she went back into the living area and ruffled her masters long hair and said, ?Good night master. I?ll see you in the morning.? Qui glanced up from his data pad and smiled, ?Good night padawan. You?ll do fine on the test, no need to fret. May the Force be with your dreams.?

    THE NEXT MORNING

    Mary awoke to the deafening sound of her master singing in the shower. She decided that there was no going back to sleep after hearing that horrible sound and got up and found her clothes. Scuffing to the door of the fresher Mary poised her hand over the door and pounded with all her might, ?Master! Stop singing! Please hurry it up, I need to go to the bathroom!? The door opened and Mary gagged, ?Did you have breakfast with beans again?? Qui narrowed his eyes and flipped his hair over his shoulder. She held her noise and entered the biohazard zone. Once cleaned and dressed she proceeded to eat a breakfast as her teachers had enforced on her to do on test days.

    After eating Mary had her morning
    meditation and then ran down to the large auditorium where the testing would take place. She took her seat and was bewildered when?pencils were passed around. ?Pencils?aren?t those a bit primitive?? Mary whispered to her friend Zanda who was also taking the test. ?Padawan?? The proctor glanced at his seating chart, ?Rodel? Padawan of the great Qui-Gon Jinn I presume. Would you like to share your commentary with the rest of the class??

    Mary shrugged, ?Why not. I was just telling Zanda here,? She gestured to her friend, ?that I found pencils very primitive and I wondered why we were using them.? The Master was slightly confused but then regained his composure, ?Well, you see. When the Coruscant school system changed its grading system they gave us their extra grading machines which only read pencil. Understand?? The padawan smiled and nodded, ?Absolutely.?

    The Master continued to direct the rest of the class, ?When marking on the test, you may ONLY mark in the given bubbles. Please make your marks heavy and dark. Please erase any stray marks on your paper for they may throw off the machine. You will have 73 minutes to complete the test, when you are done please check over your work and turn your booklet over with your pencil on the top. You may not read when you are done; you must put yo
  2. JKTRAINING Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2001
    star 4
    More, quick! This looks good!
  3. Liz Skywalker Ex-Mod

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 2000
    star 6
  4. Maru-Ba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 4
    I'll have more soon, maybe tomorrow or Friday I'm afriad. West Wing is on tonight and I have to sleep (you know how teachers enforce that during tests)
    I'm glad ppl like this one! *does a happy dance* :)
  5. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
    :eek:

    Oh Sith indeed. Hey, great start kiddo. And yes, Qui-Gon's got a terrible shower voice. And I can smell those beans. Whoof.
  6. Marie_Jadewalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2000
    star 4
    Very cute start!

    Good luck with your tests.
  7. Maru-Ba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 4
    Upping this! (only one more day of testing :) reading and math...again)

    Hope to have more up...uhh...this weekend I guess.
  8. Maru-Ba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 4
    Up PLEASE READ THIS!
  9. KnightMara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 1999
    star 4
    LOL! Everyone thinks of the proctors as the bad guys! Sheesh! As a teacher who had to administer that stupid FCAT all week, I have to set the record straight: Blame the system, not us! :) We hate it as much as you guys do. Heck, maybe more. . .because while you guys are taking a test (which at the very least keeps you busy), we're roving around the room trying to keep our brains awake for eighty-minute stretches.

    Well, at least I wasn't one of the teachers who had a student throw up during the test (which amazingly happened in a different room each day of the test. . .LOL!).
    :D
  10. Maru-Ba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 4
    IT'S DONE!

    Padawan Rodel sat in the proctor?s office and awaited him to come and yell at her. She nervously fidgeted with her hands and was very apprehensive about the outcome of this meeting. The door slid open and Mary held her breath. ?Padawan Rodel, you may exhale whenever you wish.? Mary smiled a bit and let out a slow breath.

    ?As I?m sure you know, I am Master Smirth. You have been caught cheating on the I-JEDI, what do you think your punishment is going to be?? Mary thought for a moment, ?I think I will get a zero on the test and will have some sort of manual labor around the temple too to make up for my actions along with extensive hours of meditation in the corner. Right??

    Master Smirth laughed then covered his mouth in shame. ?I?m sorry, but no. I?m afraid that we have a plan of action in place for pupils who cheat on the I-JEDI.?

    Mary?s eyes widened and she winced, she knew that when the temple has set rules aside that they were always very bad.

    ?You will retake the exam in the center of the council room. You will then apologize to all the members of the council individually and apologize for the shame you brought to the temple. Then you will spend 73 hours assisting with the grading of the exam. After that you will spend one day in deep mediation on your actions.? Concluded the proctor.

    Mary sat still and stared at the wall. ?Well, padawan. Aren?t you going to say anything?? She lifted her head and muttered something incoherently. ?What was that? I couldn?t hear you.?

    ?I said, ?stamm?.? The proctor raised an eyebrow. ?Or maybe I said I couldn?t wait to get started.?

    ?Excellent! You will now be ushered outside to address a group of your peers and beg for their forgiveness.? Mary winced again; her friends would never let her live this down.

    Then the proctor came and grasped Mary?s shoulders and lifted her from the chair, ?Now!?

    Mary walked out on the stage in front of all her friends, ?I am?Uhhh. I am deeply sorry for my actions. I froze up on the test and cheated of the person next to me.? The room gasped and then was hushed. ?I am going to be greatly punished for my deeds and I hope you all forgive me.? The crowd nodded. Then Mary left the stage.

    Qui-Gon had heard around the temple that his padawan had been caught cheating, he didn?t believe it at all. So he went down to the auditorium where the test was being given. He saw one of Mary?s friends leaving she he pulled him aside, ?Hey, Ben! Did Mary really get caught cheating??

    ?Woah, Master Jinn! She got busted so bad! She had to like apologize to all of us! She said something about bad stuff happening to her as a result of it. We like thing that she?s being kicked out of the order. Bad news man!?

    ?Thanks Ben, you?re ever so helpful.? ?Like no problem man!? * Stupid teenagers * Jinn thought. He entered the room and saw Mary up on stage. ?Padawan!? Mary looked up, ?Master!? She then ran across the stage and jumped down and flew into his arms. ?I?m so glad you?re here.? She told him.

    The proctor spotted Qui. ?Master Jinn! How good to see you again, even under such?bad circumstances.? He glanced at Mary. ?As you must have heard your padawan has been caught cheating on the I-JEDI. I will inform you of her punishment.? He filled Qui in on the deeds Mary was to complete.

    Mary and Qui then left the room and proceeded to their quarters. ?What did you do padawan?? Qui asked. ?I?I?froze up. I couldn?t remember anything, so I just started copying Zanda?s answers. I?m really sorry master. Do you still like me??

    Qui grabbed his padawan?s shoulders and turned her to face him and he knelt on the ground, ?Padawan, regardless of what you do. No matter how stupid you may make yourself or me look, I will still like you and care for you. Got understand that?? ?Yes master.? Then he drew her closer and hugged her. ?So, does this mean you can get me out of taking the test in front of the council??

    Qui-Gon snorted, ?No way! You deserve that. Just don?t loo
  11. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
    That was funny, Maru. I liked it. Wished it was just a little longer, but I still liked the end with Yoda and the spitball. YUcks!
  12. Maru-Ba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 4
    Yeah, i wish it was longer too..I either write too much or too little. Thanks!
    UP!
  13. Marie_Jadewalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2000
    star 4
  14. Ty-gon Jinn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    LOL!

    LOL!

    LOL!

    LOL!

    LOL!
  15. Maru-Ba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 4
    UP (ppl read this so I can stop upping this)
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