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Star Fellas

Discussion in 'FF:UK - Wales' started by Welshguy, May 17, 2004.

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  1. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    This coming bank holiday weekend (29th ? 31st May) I shall be filming my new fan film, ?Star Fellas?. It?s basically a melding of my two favourite movie genres, Sci-Fi (Star Wars) and Gagsters (Good Fellas).

    I thought it might be kind of interesting if I kept a daily dairy following the pre-production kafuffles in the days leading up to the planed shooting date. So what I plan to do is basically tell everyone how badly things are messing up and how much money this is costing me.

    Hope you enjoy.
  2. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    17th May 2004

    It has been decided that the script is lacking any kind of real action scene, so we decide to pre-empt episode 3 and have a lightsaber dual between myself (Anakin) and my co-actor Gavin (Obi-Wan). We arrange to meet in his place of work (he ?guards? an empty warehouse all night) and practice our duelling technique.

    I did plenty of research on the internet and have printed out all the Jedi attack, parry and repost moves. However after 2 hours of practice it has become clear that Obi-Wan has as much skill with a lightsaber as Jar Jar Binks.

    2 Hours, 1 bucket of sweat, 3 large blisters on my hand, 4 blisters on my feet, a twisted knee after Obi attacked instead of parried and all my patience later it becomes clear that I am not fighting a man, but a special needs monkey in a Jedi tunic.

    Go back to script and see how hard it would be to change me fighting Obi-Wan to me fighting Darth Maul.

    After all my hard work and research, we have managed to get a ten move (roughly ten seconds) sequence down. It still takes about 15 takes for Gavin to get the sequence right, but when he does it looks pretty good.

    Think about not learning any more sequences and just film the ten move sequence over and over again from different angles. Though, this probably won?t work.

    I?m starting to feel the pressure of doing every single job in this production. I have loads of script revisions to complete, lightsaber duals to choreograph, props to buy and rent, locations to scout, Jedi robes to be made and Obi-Wan is being bitchy about growing a beard!!!!

    If he turns up on the day of the shoot clean-shaven, there will be ructions?.
  3. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    18th May 2004

    I have finished putting together my Anakin robes. They look pretty cool, even if I do say so myself. The only problem I have is that they need safety pins to hold it down at the shoulders as the weight of the hood is pulling the neck-line / collar up, however I was going to use safety pins anyway to hold it on, so no great trouble.

    My friend Ryan, who is going to be playing Darth Maul paid me a visit today. I got him to try on my Anakin robes, so I could get a better view of what they look like. He seemed suitably impressed with my work and even asked ?How come you know how to do all this stuff then??. It was my duty to inform him that making Jedi robes is much like a Padawan making his lightsaber.

    I have often pondered whether or not making your Jedi clothes are part of the Jedi trials? Making Jedi clothes requires patience, resourcefulness, stamina and a keen eye to detail, all Jedi traits. I ponder this fact further and wonder at what point Anakin started turning to the dark side? My best guess would be when he tried to set up the sowing machine to make his robes.

    3 hours it took me! 3 HOURS! I came perilously close to the dark side myself and at one point I considered battering the sowing machine and throwing it out my window. However, it is also a Jedi trait to know when he has bitten off more than he can chew and calls for back-up.

    Enter my mother. Exit my mother 20 seconds later, having successfully set and the sowing machine for me. It turns out that I was threading the cotton through the needle the wrong way?? You my not think it makes a difference, but believe me it does?.. As she is leaving she gives me one of those looks. A look that you only usually see from mothers of serial killers, a look that says ?Despite the evil travesty and failure of a human being he has become, he is still my son and sadly nothing can ever change that.?

    Make mental note to ask my father next time I?m stuck with something.

    P.S. Had short production meeting phone conference with Gavin (Obi-Wan). He is still bitching about having to grow a beard. He starts to complain that how come it?s always him that has to do the hard stuff for the movies. I remind him that I have been slaving over a hot sowing machine for 8 hours and all he has to do is sit on his arse and let nature take its course.

    P.P.S I have now given Producer credit to Gavin?s girlfriend in recompense for having a hairy faced boyfriend. Hopefully this will be the end of the beard saga.
  4. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    May 19th 2004

    Some interesting developments happened today. Firstly, I somehow managed to lose my Visa Connect card. This basically means that I can no longer put credit on my phone, cannot buy anything from Ebay, cannot put petrol in my car and the 26p I have on my person is the only money I have access too. I think that it might be a sign from the money gods that I need to cool it a bit with my spending. However, although I am £200 into my over-draft, the shoot date is getting ever closer and I suddenly find myself without any means to buy props and equipment for the movie. I phoned the bank and they said it should take around 5-7 days for my new card to get to me. Spend most of the day cursing the fact that I didn?t take out a wad of notes a day or two ago.

    To make matters worse I went back to my car at around 10.00am to search for my missing card, only to find that some piece of human toxic waste had come up with the brilliant idea of smashing an egg on my windscreen. I mean, imagine how that must feel for me? I?m wondering around, hoping that my bank account hasn?t been emptied and I find has runny raw eggs smeared all over my windscreen! I quoted Arnie?s line from his Governor campaign ? ?That guy owes me bacon now?, but sadly no-one was around to hear it.

    Despite my automobile/culinary situation, I did actually manage to get some work done today. I made quite a few script revisions, which I have been planning to do for quite some time. They include what should be a pretty intense and funny action scene involving Anakin, Obi-Wan, Darth Maul and Yoda. I can?t give away too much details right now, but if I were to say the words ?The first rule of lightsaber club, is that you don?t talk about lightsaber club?, you might get an idea. I have added quite a few new scenes and taken out some that didn?t really add anything to the movie, plus I have tightened up the story a little, making everything a bit more connected.

    My co-actor Gavin (Obi-Wan) is still growing his beard, for now. Ryan?s (Darth Maul) mother has got the Sith robe patterns I printed out for her and she is in the process of putting something together, so all in all things seem to be going not to badly production wise. I just wish I had access to some cash and owned a car that didn?t smell like a greasy spoon café (curse you sun for turning my windscreen into a frying pan).

    Made plans for Gavin to come over and get fitted for his Jedi robes tomorrow. Lets see how well that goes.
  5. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    May 21st 2004

    And so we come to the T-10 days point. This is the time in pre-production where stuff really needs to be sorted out. Its fair to say that if you haven?t managed to write the script or cast your lead actor by now, your pretty much buggered.

    Thankfully I do not have these problems. Mainly because the script is the first thing I work on during any project, it?s just a case of touching it up and going through the drafts and organising read throughs and the like. I also don?t have much of a problem with actors either, this is because I have a pool of 4 actors (including myself) that I must work from. I grant you, this is not a very big pool, more a damp puddle, but its something. I suppose I should name check them all at least once to give them the proper credit.

    They are Myself, Gavin, Ryan and Stephen. Stephen (my brother) only agrees to appear on camera if he has some kind of disguise on, so this works out pretty well shooting a Star Wars film. I should also name check Gavin?s girlfriend Yvonne, who has done sterling work in the past on some of my productions. Looking at these names, you may ask yourself how did I manage to land an a-lister like Ryan? Well, I signed him up to a multi-picture deal (2,500 movies) around 16 years ago (he really should get his lawyer to read contacts before he signs them.), everyone else works for scale. Whatever that is??

    Had another fairly productive day. Gavin did indeed manage to keep his production meeting appointment, but we didn?t get around to doing the robe fitting. Instead we fitted wooden dowels to the lightsabers. I was quite surprised at how easily I managed to secure and fit these dowels into the lightsabers hilts, I think this is a clear sign that I?m starting to spend waaaaay to much time doing this sort of stuff. I have also got round to completing another job that needed doing badly, the shooting schedule.

    I have now arranged the script in order of location and situation order. There is one BIG problem though. Several scenes need to be shot in a club/pub location, a location that I do not have access to; neither do I have access to anything even remotely bar like. I think it might be time to start rethinking those scenes. Maybe I could switch the line ?Darth Maul walks into an empty bar? to ?Darth Maul walks into a messy empty bedroom?.

    Hmmm, doesn?t quite have the same ring to it does it?

    P.S. Got a look at the beard today. Coming along nicely. Which is a shame in some ways, I had lined up a whole series of jokes with the headline:

    ?Beard-gate scandal hits movie?

    But there?s still ten days left, so who knows.
  6. Ripper

    Ripper Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 8, 2002

    thats terrible with your card man!

    maybe you should post this in fan films?
  7. SithLord-Mixo

    SithLord-Mixo Jedi Knight star 5

    Apr 21, 2002
    It is all character building my friend
  8. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    May 22nd/23rd.

    Movie matters had to take a back seat somewhat over the weekend. First of all I had a leaving party to go to on Friday night for a former work colleague, so I was unable to get any work done then. However given the option of planning shooting schedules and sowing robes compaired to what I got up to on Friday night, lets just say that Friday night would win every time.

    I somehow ended up on Pembry beach with a hot chick. I spent the entire next day washing sand out of my hair. But I guess it was worth it.

    So I guess its time to get back to the grind stone now. There?s work to be done and jobs to finish. I will try to get around to doing Obi-Wan?s and Yoda?s cloaks today. I guess that?s what lazy Sunday?s are for.

    P.S. Just to clarify things. Friday night ? Yes I did. :)
  9. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    25th May 2004

    Got some good work done again today. Managed to finish off Obi-Wan?s cloak as Gavin showed up for his fitting. It just needs one or two minor tweaks, and then it will be ready to go. The sleeves are a little short and its not quite straight on the bottom, but apart from that it looks pretty much spot on.

    Some things are starting to go wrong that are completely out of my control though, for instance when Gavin showed up for his fitting today, he was clean shaven. I was fully expecting it to be honest and I was just surprised that it took this long for him to start shaving again. So I?m left with a tricky situation now. Do I push back the filming date so he can grow another one (though there?s no guarantee that he just won?t keep on shaving it off), buy a fake one (though they look like you got a dead rat stuck on your face), or have Obi-Wan clean shaven.

    The clean shaven look is the most doable I suppose, but of all the options this one would be the biggest sign of defeat. I suppose my only other real option is to buy one, but with my current financial situation and the near impossibility of actually getting hold of a blond, full beard, this could prove tricky.

    I need to try and come up with some kind of reason why Obi-Wan wouldn?t have a beard in this movie?? Try as I might, all the reasons I think of sound pretty lame and crappy. Plus the audience is supposed to know straight off that this is Anakin, this is Darth Maul and this is Obi-Wan, and sans beard this is going to be bloody difficult.

    Having made both mine and Obi-Wan?s robes, it was decided that Ryan?s (Maul) mother would make his for him. However, with the (possible) shooting date getting closer, she has not started it yet. I?m starting to get a little worried about this. What I really need in this situation is a good producer, someone who will go down her house and subtly threaten her with financial ruin if she doesn?t get her finger out and start on the cloak.

    Sadly my budget won?t stretch that far. Maybe I could just throw a brick at her window as I drive past in my car??.

    P.S. Just had a short telephone conversation with Gavin. He suddenly remembered that he has a sister who works in theater design. Someone who could get their hands on a fake beard without too much problem. Or at least, thats what he says. Could be a big plus if it works out.

    P.P.S. I have offered her producer credit if she agrees to help.
  10. Fall-on-Jin

    Fall-on-Jin Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 22, 2001
    Dude, looks like the progress has being going along nicely, i hope it keeps up.

    Sorry to hear about your Card and Car though.... I had a similar problem when I (well, my ex) lost my card in Newport. I went to natwest and told them to cancel it that day. 6 MONTHS later, i get call from brecon police saying that they had found my wallet up on Mount Twmbalwm (or whater it is) and that it had my card in it: and they said it wasn't cancelled. So i ring natwest and ask for a new card, and they send it to me... But somehow, they managed to cancel the new card AS WELL as the old card. Stupid bastards. They did pay me a tenner in "compensation" however (that was because i ranted about having to catch 2 busses to get into town and use a bank, which i don't, i can just walk in but its still a good way to get money off them)
  11. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    May 26th 2004

    Nothing important happened today.
  12. odj_310388

    odj_310388 Jedi Knight star 5

    May 30, 2002
    ^^^ Ha ha ha!
  13. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    26th May 2004

    Glad to see someone else shares my enjoyment of historical journal humour.

    So what happened today? Went to see Troy tonight, so that kind of took up most of my evening. Pretty good film in all, some great action scenes and the special effects were seamless. My only slight criticism would be the accents.


    Achilles: Duuuude, I?m like soooo gonna, like kill you. Radical!

    Hector: Well, that?s not a very bonza idea you dag. Throw another shrimp on the barbie and lets forget about this bloody war. Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you.

    Paris: Oh I say. They?re coming to sack Troy, what what.

    (Or words to that effect)

    There should be one universal accent that they should be used in movies of this type. Now that?s a good idea. An accent used exclusively in movies. Hmm, must remember to phone the patent office tomorrow. The good thing about the accent problem is that I don?t feel to bad about having New York gangsters with Welsh twangs now.

    As a matter of fact, I don?t think I could do the movie without it.

    Look like shooting will be pushed back to next weekend. I foresaw as much to be honest and have prepared for such an eventuality. In other words, no big deal.

  14. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    Star Fellas cancellation notice.

    Though not entirely unexpected, it does come as a kick in the knackers none the less.

    Due to unworkable production problems, it is necessary to put "Star Fellas" on the back burner. Will this masterpiece in the waiting ever get made I hear you scream?

    Probably not.

    The main problem is that I have lost roughly 70% of my shooting locations. So I guess you can see why the film will not be getting made. The problem is that the one location I was going to do the vast majority of the shots in is now out of bounds. That is to say that the guy who owned it threw a hissy fit and threw his toys out of the pram.


    Oh well, there are plenty of stories out there waiting to be told. Guess in the future I shouldn't make the mistake of not realising that when people say yes, they really mean no.

    Let this be a lesson for you people out there.


    Cause people will happily ***k up what little pathetic slithers of dreams you have managed to hold onto in your 9 till 5, soul destroying, can't afford to buy a house uless your a ******g lottery winner, ***t fed life.

    Just for a ******g power trip, just cause they have an bad attitude.

    Makes you think what the hell the point is?

    May as well sell my camera while its still in good condition and worth something.

    THE END.
  15. Yoshee

    Yoshee RSA FFUK/EUROPE, CR Emeritus: London star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Aug 3, 2002
    Upping, as Star Fellas is about to be reborn....... in a manner of speaking. lol

    Hows it coming along Welshy? :D
  16. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002
    It was coming along quite well, but I have run into a little problem today.

    After eating a home made chicken curry of a woman who i'm (ahem) interested in, I have developed a strong case of food poisoning.

    Mjor stomach problems (yes, both ends) and I feel like i've been swimming in the Artic.

    I think its going to take me a couple of days to get over Yosh, and thats being optimistic.

    To top it all of, I told this woman that it wasn't her curry that made me sick, it must have been something else. Which kind of p****s me off cause all I really wanna do is tell the stupid cow never to make me food again.

    Plus, I feel some compensation should be coming my way.....
  17. SithLord-Mixo

    SithLord-Mixo Jedi Knight star 5

    Apr 21, 2002
    This test will make you stronger
  18. Yoshee

    Yoshee RSA FFUK/EUROPE, CR Emeritus: London star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Aug 3, 2002
    Either that or kill him! [face_laugh] :p

    Sorry to hear your unwell mate. There's no real rush anyway, all in good time. :)
  19. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2002

    Don't you mean her??

    Any rumors you may have heard are all conjector and fabrications!

    Feeling a bit better now. Will get back to work soon on that story Yosh.

    I don't know about making me stronger Mixo, but its certainly made me appreciate a well cooked curry!
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