Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by RX_Sith, Aug 10, 2010.
A nice touch on that episode with Audrey making the difference
Jade_eyes: Yes, I liked Christine's parts in this act as well. And having Audrey changes this immensely as well. Thanks for continuing to write her into this.
Mira_Jade: Having someone already for Kirk helps in more ways than one to shift his focus from Elaan to the more pressing matters at hand.
Hazel: Yes, it was great to have Kirk put Elaan in her place.
earlybird-obi-wan: Yes, I'm really appreciating Audrey's link to Kirk making a huge difference in how he reacts to Elaan's tears.
A/N: Again, Jade_eyes part's to this update will be in italics. Enjoy!
Act Three - Heart's Tearing Asunder
Lt. Picard was investigating a report from Lt. [Uhura] about communications occurring within the ship. Along with Commander Pierce, they realize that Kryton, the chief of Elaan's guards, is a Klingon spy onboard the vessel who had a very convincing disguise in place, apparently.
Commander Pearce relates: ?The only interrogation technique that works on such a deep-cover spy is a Vulcan mind probe. I?ve contacted my second-in-command to have him brought to this briefing room.?
?Good work, Lieutenants, Commander.? Kirk praises his resourceful crewmembers.
Pearce?s communicator chimes. After a brief exchange, she frowns.
?We have a definite complication. Before the guards could take him in custody, he swallowed a capsule, killing himself.?
Realizing that he must have done something to the ship, [they enlist] Scotty's help as well when they figure out that Engineering is the most likely area where the saboteur could place a bomb.
?Commander Pearce, Lt. Picard, you help locate and disarm the bomb.? Kirk directs. ?I?m going to tackle the Dohlman and find out what she knows.?
He receives sympathetic looks all around.
"Why would the Klingons be interested in Troyius?" Kirk questions Elaan.
"I do not know," she [jubilantly] replies, "But, any interference to the wedding is a welcome one."
Kirk storms out of her quarters wondering just how arrogant and devoid of any real emotions Elaan has now become to him. He contacts Scotty wanting to know of the progress for the search of the bomb.
"Any further information, Mr. Scott?" he questions his Engineering Officer. [Scott?s reply is preempted, however.]
Just as he enters the Bridge, a Klingon Battle Cruiser uncloaks on the viewscreen. "All hands, Red Alert!" he orders, "Prepare to engage Warp engines, Mr. Scott!"
"Sir!" Scott exclaims, "We've located the bomb! It's fused into the main core. If we go to warp, we'll explode for sure!"
Kirk realizes now that he must use either stall tactics or some pretty unique maneuvers to avoid the Klingon Battle Cruiser's fire. He opts for the first choice for now, while keeping the second one in hand in case that his plan does not work.
"Please go to Sickbay," Kirk tells Elaan who has followed him up to the Bridge, "You'll be more safe there. I still must take you to Troyius one way or another."
"I will only do so because you wish it," Elaan movingly tells him as she enters the turbolift blowing him a kiss.
Kirk ignores her attempts at affection and deals directly with the situation at hand. He contacts the Klingon ship.
"Klingon vessel," he starts, "State your purpose."
The Klingon Captain appears on the viewscreen looking rather fierce at Kirk's message. "We are here to observe you, Captain," the Klingon Captain states eloquently, "Our interest in your cargo is, shall I say, interesting."
"What do you know about our cargo?" Kirk demands.
"That is none of your business," the Klingon Captain informs him, "That we know about Elaan and her intended marriage is a Klingon matter as well."
"Really?" Kirk questions him, "And how is that a Klingon matter?"
"I'm getting rather irritated by your questions, Kirk," the Klingon Captain angrily warns him, "Prepare for battle!"
The Klingon Battle Cruiser fires [its phasers at the Enterprise hitting its shields. "Evasive maneuvers,"] Kirk orders Sulu at the helm.
"I'll try my best," Sulu respon/>
Ooh, the Klingon element - always riveting! Less devious than the Romulans - but just as lethal
Loved adding the behind scenes bits with Audrey and Picard.
And woot! Elaan's continued lack of effectiveness - very amusing
Love this action. Kirk not affected and the nice how to disarm a bomb from
Recalling classic holovids about bomb disarming, and archival records about old-time traffic signals, Audrey makes a recommendation.
Ooh, they're in trouble now
Because Klingons were just the thing they needed.
Jade_eyes: Klingons and riveting do not belong in the same sentence. But, thanks for your continuing contributions to this story.
earlybird-obi-wan: Yes, Jade_eyes' contributions have definitely helped me to tell this story more adeptly.
Hazel: Or are they?
Mira_Jade: Yes, Klingons and the effects they cause.
A/N: Jade_eyes helped me on this act to tighten up the dialogue somewhat. Thanks to her here is the next part.
In Addendum: Thanks to everyone who has nominated this story for the NSWFF Awards. Without your support and continued devotion to this story, I would not be able to portray this unique look into the continuing adventures of the Enterprise and her great crew.
Act Four: Heart's Healing Touch
As Elaan walks into Sickbay, she sees Petri who seems to be acting pretty [decently] considering that she tried to kill him earlier. Something to her seems different about him now. He actually looks like a very handsome person to her now as she sits by his bedside.
"I've come to ask for your forgiveness." She begs him[,] weeping slightly. ["I know I don't deserve it."]
He wipes away her tears and suddenly he embraces her and then kisses her deeply as the tears enter his system and start to affect him deeply and emotionally.
"I forgive you and more." He tells her as he reaches for the necklace and places it over her head. "This is my promise to you for our marriage. Like this necklace, I will always be wrapped around you."
She kisses him deeply and feels their bond cemented together tightly. "I love you and always have." She emotionally tells him. "You have always been the love of my life."
"I am glad that you feel differently now," Petri gushes out between kisses with her. "I look forward to the rest of our lives together."
"As do I." Elaan simply responds lovingly. "I will notify the Captain of our bond. I will return as soon as possible."
Suddenly, the ship rocks again throwing her upon Petri who she again deeply kisses and then waves lovingly to him as she exits the Sickbay back towards the turbo-lift which she takes back up to the Bridge.
Elaan appears on the bridge in her wedding outfit, to notify the Captain that she is ready to be married, but to Petri.
"Captain," she begins, "Petri and I have reconciled and he has asked me to marry him and I have accepted."
"Well, if we get out of this predicament, then I'll gladly attend your ceremony," Kirk tells her sincerely. [He gives an inner sigh of relief that all seems settled for the diplomatic side of things.]
Spock picks up unusual energy readings and finds they're coming from her necklace, which is strung with uncut dilithium crystals.
"They are merely white beads that are from common stones called radans," she starts explaining to Spock, "The necklace is of little value other than its traditional meaning of good fortune."
It dawns on Kirk that the Klingon and Federation interest in this system is now clear, and Elaan gladly donates the necklace for Scotty's use.
"If I can be of any help, of course," Elaan courteously replies proving that she was aware of common courtesy all along.
Despite the crude shape of the crystals, which cause power fluctuations, the Enterprise manages to power up and shoot a couple of photon torpedoes at the Klingon. Badly damaged, it limps away, and Kirk orders [a resumed] course to Troyius.
"Well, Mr. Spock, it seems that we've once [again taken] care of business," Kirk congratulates his Science Officer in addition to himself, "Not at all a bad day how it turned out."
As Elaan prepares to beam down for the wedding, she invites Kirk, who accepts under one condition; that Audrey escorts him there.
Elaan presents him with her dagger, saying that on Troyius they don't carry personal weapons. Openly weeping, she mounts the dais and disappears. McCoy finds a possible antidote to the tears, but Kirk is already apparently back to normal, and Spock says the Enterprise captured his heart long />
Yes love this outcome Elaan and Petri and Kirk and Audrey.
Totally didn't see that coming but it's great!
Wonderful outcome for all concerned. I am glad that the political marriage of necessity is now one of loving mates of the heart in truth.
A relief that the necklace proved to be of help in the nick of time.
Congratulations on your nominations This episodes retelling is ST canon to me, literally.
A great end for all concerned.
I really have to echo Jade's sentiment - these really are becoming canon for me.
earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks for your approval. More loveliness coming up.
Hazel: Glad to keep your guessing on the outcome.
Jade_eyes: Yes, love conquers all and everyone now realizes who they were meant to be with.
Mira_Jade: It's very rewarding to read that these are being viewed as canon. Thanks for your sentiments.
A/N: Once again, Jade_eyes has helped with this next upcoming extra scene.
Extra Scene: [Hearts] Bonding Forever
As Kirk, Audrey, Spock, Nyota, Chapel, McCoy, and Picard oversaw the wedding ceremony, Jim pulled Audrey closer to him and whispered, "I love you," sweetly to her. She could see and feel that his feelings were true for her. It made her tingle on the inside, and she showed it by kissing him on the lips.
"Mmmm." Audrey sighed. "It's a miracle."
"What is?" Jim asked.
"The peace between the Elaasians and Troyians ... and that you have a heart and eyes just for me." Her eyes were bright with happiness.
"Audrey, I want you to know that if I hadn't met you, something essential would always be lacking ... now we're together, Imzadi, any searching would be pointless."
Audrey beamed and kissed him again.
The crowd started to gawk slightly at the little interruption to the ceremony. Kirk cleared his throat and cut the kiss short, but still held Audrey close to him as the ceremony continued.
Petri and Elaan exchanged their customary vows and then were lifted up together by Elaan's guards who walked them off to their new home on Troyius.
Spock and Nyota [wandered] off to a more private area to be alone from the commotion.
"I have something to tell you," Nyota squeezed Spock's hand, "I'm pregnant."
The [love and elation] that burst forth from Spock in that mere instant caused his face to burn in a red flush. "I'm pleased," he simply responded and then pulled her into a deep kiss [that made her toes curl.] "A child," he mused, "You and I will teach them well."
The thought of having children was in a way a very pressing need for Spock. His race, the Vulcans, now numbering just in the 10,000's, was one that needed new blood, and needed it badly. He [rejoiced] humanly on the inside with a wave of emotions that ebbed and flowed elegantly with his core of logic still intact. Having children was something that he desperately desired, and now that Nyota was pregnant, they would welcome into their lives not only their flesh and blood, but someone who would forever forge a connection between Earth and New Vulcan.
Spock found himself in the following months going to the food processor repeatedly for some rather interesting food choices he thought for Nyota; whether it was spicy hot wings, frozen Slushies, or even mild cucumbers, he was amazed at the variety and vastly different types of food that she suddenly craved while pregnant. Her mood swings were also something that he had to adjust to, but he took them in stride, knowing that she was carrying their child, and he never, ever got tempermental from any of her emotionally tinged responses. He merely held her close, told her that everything would be alright, and made sure that she calmed down as he rubbed her temples with his hands to [soothe] her ever changing moods.
Nyota was [touched] that he was so adept at making her comfortable, no matter what her impulses sometimes [led her to blurt out, and so accommodating to her passing fancies.]
Pregnancy for her was definitely very stressful; [but it was also exhilarating. They knew they'd be embarking on a diplomatic career after their tour, but they also wanted a stable sense of home for their growing family. Sometimes, Nyota would get boggled down with wondering and the what-ifs, but each time, Spock was there for her, to calm her down, to relax and meditate on the positives, and on making firm plans.]
Without his support and comfort, she would have never thought that she could make it all the way towards childbirth. But, his calm and logical approach was something that truly h/>
A lovely conclusion.
Very sweet and snuggy.
Lovely Kirk and Audrey and Uhura and Spock. Love to see them raising a family.
Beautiful ending to a great adventure.
Jade_eyes: Thanks for your continuing readership.
earlybird-obi-wan: Family is something that Spock for one needed to start as soon as possible.
Hazel: Thank you for your review.
A/N: This will be a retelling of the episode, "This Side of Paradise" with some major changes to it. I want to thank everyone that replied to my PM about which episodes that they want me to do next. I will get to doing every one of them. Any other suggestions are always welcomed.
Addendum: Also, Jade_eyes has once again contributed to this episode. Her parts are in italics. Thanks for your continuing support.
Paradise Belongs to Us
Act One: Paradise Opening Up
The USS Enterprise arrives at the planet Omicron Ceti III, the site of a colony established in 2264. Unfortunately, the Enterprise's mission is only to catalog its destruction under the bombardment of deadly berthold rays, which were discovered after the colonists left Earth.
Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, Doctor McCoy, Lieutenant Sulu, Lieutenant DeSalle, and Lieutenant Yolette Boudreaux beam down to the planet's surface and discover to their surprise that Elias Sandoval and the other colonists are not dead after all.
As Spock searches the area, he sees some strange looking plants that have some rather interesting features to them. As he inspects them closer, one of the plants opens up and fires some spores directly into his chest. Spock falls to the ground momentarily stunned from the impacts of the spores. He removes them one by one from his chest and inspects them with his tricorder. The scanning shows that the plants are responsible for the side effects he is starting to feel from the spores.
Sulu comes over at this point. "What's that?" Sulu wonders. He has a strong interest in botany and strange flora.
He studies the tricorder readings. "We'd better show this to the Captain."
Suddenly, in the distance, a beautiful blonde-haired woman approaches towards Spock. She is Leila Kalomi, a botanist he had met on Earth many years before. She had loved him, but he had been unable to return her love despite being half-Human. Then he had met Nyota, which had taken care of any other attachments.
McCoy is astounded to discover that every colonist is in perfect physical health, even to the point where childhood injuries have repaired themselves. Sandoval attributes this to their healthy lifestyle that is a plant based diet. Other anomalies are discovered, such as the total lack of any animal life other than the colonists themselves, and no cars or trucks are present as well.
Leila reaches for Spock's hand as she beams a hello. "It's been a long time." She enthuses.
"Who's this?" Kirk asks.
"It's Ms. Kalomi," Spock answers. "A scientist colleague of mine from Academy days."
McCoy harumphs. "Better not let the Lieutenant catch this one hanging about, too closely."
"She has nothing to feel the slightest concern over." Spock assures.
"Who is this you're referring to?" Leila asks, puzzled.
Yolette speaks up staunchly. "His fiance, if you must know!"
Leila is astonished and moves to Lieutenant De'Salle who's been ogling her and leads him away from the group.
McCoy and the rest tag along trying to discern just exactly why the planet is so peaceful and only humans are amongst its inhabitants. They are led to an area where the mysterious plants are littered across the landscape. McCoy gets some samples of the plants and decides to beam them back to the Enterprise to be studied. Kirk and Spock decide to go along with him as they transport themselves and some of the plants along with them.
Meanwhile, the other members of the landing party are themselves struck by the plants' spores as they inject themselves into Sulu, DeSalle, and Yolette. They succumb easily to the euphoria that the spores provide. They are oblivious to their surroundings and just take in a rather peaceful persona as they interact with their newfou/>
Spock and the spores another memorable episode. Like to see where this will lead with Spock now with Uhura and Kirk and Audrey
Great start. Woohoo! Loved the tweaks. I also love it when I read/write Mara takes care of Callista fics
I wonder where this leads.
This is going to be awesome! A perfect episode to expand on - especiallywith certain relationships in mind,
earlybird-obi-wan: This retelling will definitely have lots of changes when compared to the original episode.
Jade_eyes: Thanks for your continuing contribution which continually continues.
Hazel: To paradise, of course.
Mira_Jade: Yes, certain relationships will thrive in paradise.
A/N: Once again, Jade_eyes contributions to this story will be in italics.
Paradise Belongs to Us
Act Two: Paradise Beckons
With the effects on the crew who are already down on the planet out of control[,] to Kirk, Spock, Nyota, Audrey, McCoy, Chapel, and Picard, these remaining officers begin to wonder if maybe they should listen to their comrades and beam down to the planet where they can live carefree lives. Part of them realizes this may be giving into the inevitable, which they balk at strongly. The prospect of leaving their comrades in the lurch is untenable also.
"Paradise must be earned through obedience. That is what all the origin folklore shares in common." Nyota points out.
"Endless euphoria without fulfilling challenges doesn't suit me, either." Jim admits.
Meanwhile in Sickbay, Christine says: "I studied the readings you took of the inhabitants. There seems to be a high amount of activity in the amygdala and excessive amounts of happy neurotransmitters."
"Hmmm." McCoy says. "Almost like persons experiencing manic emotions in what used to be called bipolar disorder..."
Chris suggests. "They need a mood stabilizer until the effects wear off. It's like being continually pumped with mood elevators."
"But you don't want a crash too far in the other direction. Perhaps a slow-release after an initially high loaded starter dose."
They work on this, and Scotty snags Sulu and Yolette.
They're beamed directly to Sickbay.
About fifteen minutes after the injection, they're returning to normal.
Yolette suggests they secure the remaining plants behind a screen so the spores won't accidentally get released again. Picard assists with this activity.
They don protective suits and gloves to ensure that the plants have no access to their skin. Yolette and Picard put the remaining plants into an isolation room encased inside of huge cubed glass partition. Once they are done moving all of the plants, they lock the doors to the room and encode the lock with an encryption so that no one without the proper access can enter the room.
Audrey and the Captain discuss whether or not to implement a cure to the rest of the inhabitants.
"Strictly speaking," She comments, "That is not within the Directive parameters."
"My first priority is to get all the crew back safe and sound. How are we going to do that?" He muses.
Uhura intercepts a transmission from a distraught Sandoval.
It seems riots have broken out over competition for the attention of some very lovely ladies and accusations of cheating.
The sudden negative emotions purged the immediate effects of the spores.
"This must be part of the solution to the rest of the inhabitants' on Omicron Ceti III," Spock extrapolates a theory, "If perhaps we could transmit some sort of signal towards the planet surface, then that should release them from the effects of the plants on their systems."
"Logically, of course," McCoy butts in, "And presuming that we emit such a frequency as to not harm anyone on the surface."
"I believe that is what I just stated," Spock remarked subtudely, "Captain, I will assist our dear Doctor here in configuring the transmitter."
McCoy comments: "That hardly seems a viable plan -- incite a mob action."
Jim grimaces. "Even if they can't be re-infected, the Berthold rays will start to have harmful effects on their systems in a little over a week, although they have some immunity. Let's begin a search for a place to relocate the colonists."
"We'll also need to ask for rehabilitative counselors." Chapel remarks. "And assistance in transporting them."
"I've mapped the system nearby." Chekov says. He was one of those wh/>
Great stuff here. Wonderful team work and viable strategies
Love the snarking from the Doctor ...
The only reason Spock wins all the arguments between the two of them, is because he (like Mara with Luke) is usually, frequently right ... !!
Yes great stuff and love McCoy and his remarks always bantering with Spock
There seems to be a high amount of activity in the amygdala and excessive amounts of happy neurotransmitters.
Saying it like that, it doesn't sound like a bad thing. I know a lot of people that could use some more happy neurotransmitters.
"We will," McCoy butts in again stubbornly, (and then mutters under his breath), "That damn green-blooded hob-goblin is starting to win all the arguments; how rude."
A great post for the snark and the teamwork.
"We will," McCoy butts in again stubbornly, (and then mutters under his breath), "That damn green-blooded hob-goblin is starting to win all the arguments; how rude."