Story [Star Trek:First Contact] How The Borg Stole Christmas (For the X-Mas X-Over Challenge)

Title: [Star Trek:First Contact] How The Borg Stole Christmas (For the X-Mas X-Over Challenge)
Author: RX_Sith
Timeframe: Right around Christmas
Characters: The Borg
Genre: An X-Mas X-Over Challenge Entry Featuring the Borg and crossed over with How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Keywords: Borg, Christmas
Summary: What happens when the Borg assimilated Earth during Christmas in the First Contact?
Notes: This is a response to the X-Mas X-Over Challenge, a challenge to write a crossover between an X-Mas story and one involving a Non-Star Wars Fan Fiction, I have chosen the Borg as featured in the Star Trek film, First Contact, and have crossed it over with Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I, of course, own neither one.

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[b]How The Borg Stole Christmas[/b]

Every Human
That lived on the Earth
Liked the Christmas season...

But the Borg,
Who lived on their battle gray Cube,
Did NOT for whatever reason!

The Borg hated Christmas! It was not their favorite holiday!
Everyone wanted to ask why. But the assimilation left them no way.
It could be that the Borg Queen had a hand or two in it.
It could also be that because of the Borg, the world was pretty dimly lit.
But the Federation thinks that because of the assimilation
Most everyone did not notice this strange revelation.

But,
Whatever the purpose,
Their drones of hardened steel,
The Borg stood there on Christmas Eve, one mind, one deal,
Staring down from her Cube with a wicked grin, the Queen
At once tormented every human no matter their charm, no matter their mean.
For she knew every human down on Earth was now hers forever
And their collective consciousness was be pretty hard to sever.

"They're all a part of the collective!" she cackled with glee.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's never going to be!"
Then she growled, with her evil head a bobbing,
"I MUST keep it this way, no Christmas, no sobbing!"
For, tomorrow, she knew...

...All the human ladies and gentlemen
Would never wake up from their new and dreary assimilation again!
And then! The Enterprise had followed them here! Oh, not that Jean-Luc Picard! Picard! Picard! Picard!
That's one thing she hated! The LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD!

Because now the humans, young and old, would now have a chance.
To break free of her curse and then they'd dance! And they'd dance!
And they'd PRANCE! PRANCE! PRANCE! PRANCE!
They would jumping up and down and then they'd start to eat
Which was something the Borg Queen couldn't have after accomplishing her feat!

And THEN
They'd do something she never had liked, not once!
Every Human on Earth would rejoice at her comeuppance,
They would clap and applaud the Enterprise crew, and start to sing Christmas songs.
They'd stand in a big group, and the Humans would start banging their bongs!

They'd bang! And they'd bang!
AND they'd BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
And the more the Borg Queen thought of this human banging
The more the Borg Queen thought, "I must stop this human bonding!
"Why for eons upon eons we have tracked them down to here!
I MUST stop Christmas from ever coming near!
...But HOW?"

Then she got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE BORG QUEEN
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Borg Queen cackled again with rage.
And then she made a quick exit with Data as her hostage.
And she groaned, and moaned, "What a great Borg ploy!
"With my other drones still around, I'll retake Earth and make it my toy!"

"All I need is a opening or two..."
The Borg Queen waited for it.
But since it was now her Borg against the Enterprise crew.
Did that stop the old Borg Queen and make her quit...?
No! The Borg Queen shouted to her guest Data with daft,
"If I can't win, I'll fight unfairly and set a neat trap!"
So she called her new drone Data. Then she took him in her lap,
And she made him look human, giving him a pretty neat skin graft.

THEN
She made Data almost human
And gave him a cool eye twitch
On her Borg cube and then
She beamed down in a blink of a switch.

Then the Borg Queen said, "Resistance is Futile!"
And the

 

*DIES* That was amazing. Great job.

 

I read this last night and forgot to comment --

I'm in the mood to follow what Miana did and die of laughter.



Awesome!!!

 

This is hilarious!! You really captured the doctor's style

 

WOW!

Not only a great idea, the Borg stealing Christmas, it's also all in rhyme! I'm in awe

Really funny too

 

That was brilliant!

She was now off-line and the Collective was dead.

I especially loved that line!

As much as I enjoy watching the borg, I enjoy watching them get beat more

Great response to the challenge