Story [Star Trek: TOS] "The Lazy Spring" Funny Quotes challenge - silly

Title: The Lazy Spring
Genre: Star Trek: TOS, silly humour
Characters: The usual crowd
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, and that's probably for the best.
Author's notes: This is for the Funny Quotes challenge, quote #28: "Boys are like Slinkies: practically useless, but it's fun to watch them fall down stairs."

"Boys are like Slinkies: practically useless, but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs."

No one knows who first spoke those words, or even if they were actually spoken at all. But they were whispered from one entity to another like a game of telephone. As each entity translated it to another with a metallic whirr of its exoskeleton, the seeds of discontent that had been sown long ago began to flower.

The entities had come in peace at the close of this planet's last great war, more than sixty-five years ago. They came seeking political asylum from the cruel oppression of their enemies, and at first were grateful to their kind hosts. Of course, the entities hoped one day that they may be seen as equals on this planet, but even political representation was a lot to ask when their cultural and linguistic differences were so great. The refugees acknowledged that not only did their hosts grant them religious freedom without any interference, but even went as far as sheltering them in their own homes. The entities dispatched their top experts to decode the strange language of the natives of this planet, and looked forward to the day that they would finally be able to share their achievements in technology, philosophy, and art.

In the mean time, the only thing they could express to their hosts in thanks was to prove their sentience by the act of walking down stairs. It seemed to be a silly gesture, but apparently it held great meaning to the natives of this planet, because they would continually prompt them to perform this act and were continually delighted by the spectacle. The entities felt that it was the least they could do. Over time, the entities' top linguists discovered that their hosts had given their race a name, "Slinky", and that its meaning was derived from the words "sleek" and "graceful". Even more flattering, these "humans" as they called themselves even sang songs about their guests, which were predictably dedicated to their habit of walking down stairs. The Slinky Nation wore their name proudly.

As the years went on and the linguists continued their study, they came upon some disturbing facts. First off, there was no evidence that the humans were making any effort to translate their language. Second, the humans often called the Slinky by a hurtful racial slur, "Lazy Spring". Surely the humans could understand that the Slinky would contribute to their society if only they were able! They were, after all, a people capable of space travel.

But then came that phrase, carelessly uttered by some human.

"Practically useless."

It was then that the Slinky nation knew. The humans had no intention of granting them equality, or political representation, or even dignity. An entity born into Slinkyhood could hope for nothing but a life of walking down stairs and being laughed at.

The humans weren't prepared when the Revolution came.

***

"Mister Spock?"

"Most fascinating."

Captain James T. Kirk arched an eyebrow as he lounged in his chair, his chin resting in his palm. "Go on," he said.

His Vulcan science officer didn't raise his head and continued looking into the scope at his science station. "The singularity appears to be a gateway to an M-Class planet. The planet's geographic patterns match that of Earth."

"Earth?"

"Indeed. But closer visual analysis of its surface indicates that it does not match any civilization in the planet's history."

Kirk frowned.

"There are two logical possibilities, Captain. One is that we are looking at an elaborately constructed illusion, and the other is that we are looking into an alternate universe."

"Captain," called Uhura from her communication station, "We are being hailed, audio only."

"Open a channel," he said.

A peculiar whirring noise filled the B

 

Well, Sue...you did it again. I'm still laughing.

Silly but creative.

 

Why, thank you!

I'm glad you liked it.

 

Undeniably funny!

great use of the quote! I thoroughly enjoyed it!!

 

LOL!!!!! Fun use of the quote you got! And I'm so glad you're back!



Another humor specialist!



Yay!

Can't have too many!

 

Aw, thanks, guys!

 

Hahhh! Run!

The Slinkies are attacking.



Fabulous!

 

Thank you!