Story [Star Wars/Avatar Parody] - Return of the Tedi

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS OR AVATAR.

RETURN OF THE TEDI

IN THE RELATIVELY NEAR FUTURE, IN A STAR SYSTEM NOT THAT FAR AWAY, THE IMPERIALISTIC RDA COMMANDED BY THE EVIL COLONEL QUARITCH IS ON THE BRINK OF IMPOSING A DARK AGE OF TYRANNY AND REPRESSION ON THE FOREST PLANET OF PANDORA. ONLY THE COURAGEOUS REBEL NA'VI ALLIANCE LEAD BY THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS NEYTIRI AND THE RENEGADE EX-MARINE, TORUK-MAKTO JAKE SULLY, STAND IN THE WAY OF THE DESPOTIC RDA AND THEIR NEFARIOUS PLANS.

OPERATING FROM HIS BASE AT HELL'S GATE, EVIL COLONEL QUARITCH LEADS HIS FORCE OF GUNSHIPS, AMP-SUITS AND INFANTRY IN AN ALL-OUT ASSAULT AGAINST THE TREE OF SOULS TO CRUSH THE REBEL ALLIANCE ONCE AND FOR ALL.

DESPITE DESPERATE AND DETERMINED RESISTANCE FROM THE NA'VI AND THEIR HUMAN ALLIES, THE TECHNOLOGICALLY SUPERIOR RDA SMASHES THE PRIMITIVELY ARMED FORCES OF THE REBELS, FORCING THE BRAVE NA'VI WARRIORS TO FLEE FOR THEIR LIVES.

NOW THERE IS NOTHING STANDING BETWEEN COLONEL QUARITCH AND THE DESTRUCTION OF THE TREE OF SOULS, AND ULTIMATELY, THE CONQUEST OF PANDORA.

BUT QUARITCH IS UNAWARE THERE IS ONE FORCE ON PANDORA HE HAS NOT COUNTED ON.

THERE IS ONE LAST CHANCE FOR VICTORY. A NEW HOPE.

Jake flew alone above the scene of desolation on his Toruk. He was in the place the eye could not see. The Na'vi forces were defeated. The Ikran riders had been dispersed, the Na'vi cavalry was routed, Tsu-tey was gone and Trudy was dead.

Jake looked on in despair as the the Valkyrie, escorted by the Dragon Assault Ship, advanced unopposed towards the Tree of Souls. The ruthless RDA attack helicopters and ground forces continued their relentless pursuit of the retreating Na'vi forces who were desperately fleeing for their lives. It appeared nothing could stop Quaritch from destroying the Tree of Souls now.

Meanwhile, on the ground Neytiri was standing behind a tree preparing to attacking the advancing RDA infantry and amp-suits who were destroying everything in their path with flame-throwers and high-calibre weapons. She was alone, bruised and battered after her poor Ikran, Seze, was shot and killed from under her. But she was still able and willing to fight. And fight she would, even if that meant confronting amp-suits with bows and arrows. Even if that meant sacrificing her life in one final last stand.

Neytiri nocked an arrow to her bow, peered round the side of the tree and took aim.

"Fall back, Neytiri!" Cried Jake desperately over the intercom. "Do not attack!"

Neytiri hesitated. For a moment she considered following Jake's instructions. But she was determined to fight for her people whatever the cost. She could not give up without a struggle. She would not retreat.

The RDA were getting closer. Neytiri raised her bow and prepared to attack again.

Suddenly, Neytiri heard the blowing of horns and the war-cry of numerous high-pitched voices resonating from all round the forest. The deafening din of the noise lasted for several seconds causing the RDA forces to pause and look around.

Then all hell broke loose.

Neytiri was shocked to see an amp-suit blow apart as two tree trunks suspended from ropes hurtle together and crushed it into a mass of scrap metal. At the same moment, another amp-suit crashed to the ground after it lost its balance stepping on rolling tree trunks which were place in its path as a trap.

Meanwhile, several RDA soldiers fell to the ground dead or injured as they were hit in the head, torso and limbs by stones and other projectiles launched from bolas and slings wielded by hidden assailants.

With a high-pitched war-cry, hundreds of small teddy-bear like creatures rose as one from the undergrowth and pelted the RDA soldiers with rocks. Hundreds more armed with spears and clubs swarmed individual RDA soldiers in a mass charge, dragging them to the ground and clubbing or stabbing them to death.

A small group of teddy-bears tried to bring down another amp-suit by trapping its legs with a rope stretched across its path. But the amp-suit kept going and the teddy-bears holding the rope were all comically dragged across the ground behind it.

Massive heavy rocks propelled from large teddy-bear operated catapults smashed into the RDA firing-line crushing amp-suits and soldiers alike.

Meanwhile, in the air, squadrons of teddy-bears piloting make-shift wooden gliders swarmed the RDA aircraft, forcing attack-copters to crash and bombarding troops stationed on the Dragon Assault Ship and Valkyrie with rocks from above.

Many teddy-bears were mowed down on the ground or shot out the air. But taken by surprised and attacked from all directions, the RDA forces were quickly overwhelmed by the ferocity and superior numbers of their assailants. The RDA forces who survive the initial assault could do nothing more than flee in panic in the face of the mass assault launched against them. Now only the Dragon and the Valkyrie were left for Jake to defeat. There was a new hope.

There was not even one Pandora creature in sight.

"What's happening, Neytiri?" Asks Jake via his intercom, surprised to see the welcome appearance of this new unexpected ally.

"It seems that the great mother Ewya did not hear your prayer at the Tree of Souls, Jake." Replied Neytiri. "But apparently, the great mother Ewok did."

"Dammit." Exclaimed Jake. "I really must improve my Na'vi pronunciation."

THE END

Hello, Hoplite39! As this is a cross-over with Star Wars, I am going to have to ask that you post your story in the http://boards.theforce.net/forums/fan-fiction-before-saga-and-beyond.10859/]forum[/url] for Star Wars fanfiction. I am going to lock this thread now, but we thank-you for sharing, and welcome you to the boards! ~Mira_Jade