Star Wars Chronicles: Dawn of War

Hello everyone. I just finished the third draft of my fan film script, and I was wondering if anyone would like to read it? I think it may be a tad long and I think I can cut it down some, I am just not sure where. Any help would be hot! Thanks in advance.

 

Well, since I am on vacation this week, I may not have time to read you script.

But I do want to say that I REALLY like the title you chose for your film. With the "Chronicles" title, you are able to set your story within ANY time period, without people harping on you about you touting it as "EPISODE III, VII, VIII, X, XX .. whatever.

And I really like the focus title - DAWN OF WAR.
GOOD JOB !!!





JediTAC

 

Stick with the title. It's cool.

I'd be happy to read your script and give you some feedback. You can email me at kolbyjukes@hotmail.com.

-Kol.

 

JediTAC, thank you. That means a lot. Jerak, I am sending the script. I appreciate your help. Thanks for replying you guys.

 

Hey Tac.....
Need I remind you that Seeds of Darkness is offically titled Star Wars Chronicles: Seeds of Darkness. Not that I care!

Just I found it interesting to hear of another film using that monicker! SP?

Anyway... I always thought Chronicles was a cool way to set it in the Star Wars galaxy without too much EU and official timeline issues to worry about! Good Luck with the film! (And I know Tac isn't the one making it. I'm saying good luck to the script writer!)

 

sounds like an interesting project! I would like to read the script also, email me at christmastom@hotmail.com .

 

I read the start of the script, wow 54 pages. Here are my thoughts:

- The dialogue was excellent, very in keeping with Star Wars.
- The length, I'm eager to see how this would translate out into a film, it's quite long, and some scenes are very complex, remember to write within your means (if you plan to someday film this).
-Your characters are well rounded and interesting, though some of the emotional moments (like when Rurik collapses crying into his master's chest after they find the senator dead), didn't quite sit well with me, maybe I need to read that again.

It was an enjoyable read. Good luck on making it into a film.

-Kol.

 

I don't know if this offer is still open, but, Im totally willing to read the script. I've read several others from people I know at school doing films and, well, it's fun! You can email me at BorgLover874479@aol.com

Mike

 

icicle:
Of course I remembered . . . which is, I believe, where jbird69 got the idea for his title. I just wanted to point out, like you said, that I thought it was a great kind of "sur-title" for Staw Wars FanFilms, since you can pretty much run in any direction with it.

The other one that seemes like it would have been very similar was the Tales From The Holocron sur-title.
Too bad that one never seemed to come to fruition.

 

The offer is open, and I will send it to all of you. Jerak, thanks for your input. I do plan on filming it. I do have the interest and time of the people involved with the project, so hopefully I can pull this off. TAC, I did get the title from them, it's a great way, like you said, to be able to make the film during any time period. Besides, if you do the Episode X thing, someone always comes out with a film with the same number right before you do.

 

jbird 69,

Is this a sequel to Seeds of Darkness? If it is or isn't, I'd really love to read the script you've written.

Please send it to me at mightyshwanzi@earthlink.net

Thanks!

 

Excellent script very nice.

However: The length is a little...too much. I think you can cut down some of the action, especially on page 47 -- just a minor thing

Other than that, its really good. Very nice characterization and it all sounds very "Star Wars-ish"

Nice work

Mike

 

I do not think it is meant to be a sequel to SEEDS OF DARKNESS.

As we have been saying in several of the posts above (if you read them) is that the "CHRONICLES" sur-name is merely that . . . a sur-name to allow a Staw Wars FanFilmmaker to, basically, place his/her story in virtually any time period - without necessarily having it attached to any of the existing official Star Wars films.

In my opinion, is is MUCH better than using an "EPISODE __ " sur-name in your title ... as it can stand independent of any of the "official" films. Otherwise, it's like ... "you're calling your film EPISODE III ... oh really? Does this mean that you proport to know the "official" continuation story from Episode II ??"

 

I think the "Chronicles" title started with Clay Cronkes Tales from the Holocron trialer, or at least that's where i stole it from

Star Wars Chronicles: Nothings Forgotten.


well, it's out of the bag now.

Thayne

 

Thanks Borglover, I appreciate the input. Any ideas on cutting down the action on page 47?

 

My advice, and I'd have to read it, but don't cut it down until post, taht way you'll have more to play with.

Most people want short scripts and less action etc.

Film it, then screen it to see whats where.

My two cents...

Justin

 

Sounds intriguiging, I'll give it a read

barryshaft@hotmail.com

that is if its still on.

 

With the good reviews of your script, how could i not read it? If poss, please send it for me to enjoy too. Premium000@aol.com

 

I would also be interested in reading it. Our fanfilm is 35 pages in compressed form, so I'd be interested in seeing how yours plays out comparitively. Email me at weathrmn07@ou.edu

Virru

 

Thanks for your interest! I just sent it out to you both.

 

Heya Jbird I would like to read your script from the posts in here seems like you got some really good work going there. you can email me at Nergai@aol.com

 

Anyone have any suggestions or criticisms for me?

 

Not yet, haven't gotten to it yet with work and all, but I'm off on Friday(I guess that's today...its 2AM ) so I'll be sure to do a thorough inspection then.

Virru

 

Read it and sent some comments through. Great concept and well written (as usual), but a couple of elements might need a rethink to avoid clichés.

 

Sounds like this guy has a good script going, perhaps ill have to check it out. As for script length though I was just looking at the script for Jedi Apprentice ad its 62 pages, though I dont have the edited down version handy so its a little shorter than that.

Its a doable length if you have the resources and the story to hold it all together. We also break it down into 3 Acts which is much easier to work with.