Star Wars Dating Service.

I was looking thru the personal ads in the paper the other day (not 'cause I need to, but because I have no life). Anyway, they also have matchmaking services in which I suppose you give a bit of silly info about yourself and they put you in some type of database. So, geeky as I am, I thought it would be fun to "profile" some SW characters. Here we go!


Name: Darth Vader

Age: 40s

Ever been married?: Yes

Occupation: Bad-ass

Likes: Picnics beside waterfalls, podraces, and choking incompetent subordinates to death, dismembering and/or torturing family members

Dislikes: Sand, clumsy and stupid people.

 

Boba Fett

Age: late 20's, early 30's

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Likes: Killing for credits, hunting elusive prey, long walks on the beaches of Correlia

Dislikes: Force users, wimps, cry-baby men who can't use a blaster, people who dislike other peoples cultures, and the Dutch

Ever been married? : Unknown

Favorite Movies: US Marshalls, Pulp Fiction, Butch and Sundance: The Early Years, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford, The Karate Kid, and Roots

Miscellaneous: On cover of Wheaties for capture of Han Solo, Sponsored by BlasTech Weaponry and Gatorade, avid fan of Yanni.

 

Yes, I got to Yoda first...




Name: Yoda

Age: 800's

Ever been married?: No

Occupation: Jedi Master

Likes: Talking backwards, ear massages, Kermit the Frog, strange food, being green, Baywatch, and making fun of stupid sentients

Dislikes: The Dark Side, war, Palpatine, and frog legs


Call me!





Ken Kenobi- And you have a nice day

 

Name: Princess Leia Organa

Age: Early 20s

Ever been married?: Not a chance.

Occupation: Rebel

Likes: Nice men, shooting Stormtroopers, pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Dislikes: Scoundrels, smugglers, and overgrown, bully, asthmatics with mommy issues.

 

Before she met Anakin in Ep2
Name: Padme Amidala

Age: Early 20s

Ever been married: No

Occupation: Senator

Likes: Swimming near her Lake House, laying on the sand, listening to birds. Jedi, Travel and Men with attachment problems along with bad tempers.

Dislikes: Trade Federation, Count Dooku, and secretly hates Gungans especially one named Jar Jar.

Favorite Movies: The Professional, Mars Attacks, The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Heat, Beautiful Girls, Everyone Says I love you, The Prince of Egypt, Anywhere But Here, Where the Heart Is, Zoolander, and Cold Mountain

 

Name: Obi-Wan Kenobi

Age: early 30's

Ever been married: No

Occupation: Jedi Master

Likes: Long mindnumbing conversations regarding the economics of politics, walking the lightside of the Force, dumpy diners

Dislikes: Flying, smartmouth kids, shifty-eyed,lying bounty hunters, decrepit Force wielders who put my own badass lightsaber skills to shame... and pathetic lifeforms.

 

Name: Chewbacca

Age: late 200's

Occupation: Mechanic

Likes: Protecting Han, Ewok frat parties, camping & ripping limps from their sockets

Dislikes: the way the garbage masher smells, faulty hyperdrives, putting together droids, and losing.

Ever been married? : Yes

Favorite Movies: Hary & the Henderson's

Miscellaneous: allergic to cats

 

Name: Anakin Skywalker

Age: 20

Ever been married: I should be! Some day I will be!

Occupation: The Chosen One

Likes: Teen queens, tormenting my Master, mom's home cooking, flying, using the Force.

Dislikes: Waiting, being alone, being told what to do, politicians

Bio: I never knew my father, but my mom's pretty cool. She sent me off with a complete stranger when I was 10 so I could make my dreams come true. Now studying to be a Jedi, though my Master annoys the crap out of me, he's still pretty cool. Oh, and there will only ever be one woman for me, so unless you're a petite, brunette hottie senator from Naboo, don't come calling me!

 

Name: TK-421

Age: 20 years since I emerged from a clone tank.

Occupation: Death Star drone

Comments: Looking for that special someone who appreciates me for the unique individual I am. I can think creatively, to make our time together enjoyable and romantic. I?ve been told I don?t communicate well. I don?t know what the problem was, I blew off blaster target practice almost every day to spend time with my last girlfriend. I am very subservient, and totally obedient to a special someone?s requests. Could that special someone be you? Quit messing around with those battle droids, I am immensly superior! Call me, er, leave a message with my commanding officer.

 

You guys are funny!

Name: Grand Moff Tarkin

Age: Old

Occupation: Arch Nemesis

Ever been married: I doubt it.

Likes: Blowing things up, witty banter with teenage princesses, keeping Sith Lords on leashes

Dislikes: Pointless bickering, Force-chokes, Rebel scum, evacuating in moments of triumph

Favorite album: Appetite for Destruction by Guns 'N Roses. If for nothing else than the title.

 

Name: Darth Maul.

Age: 30ish.

Ever been married?: No.

Occupation: Sith.

Likes: Black,Red, speeder bikes.

Dislikes: Getting cut in half.

 

Name:Qui-Gon Jinn

Age:Early 60's

Ever been married:Don't think so ?

Occupation:Jedi Master

Likes:Pathetic life forms, The Force, Jedi, Disobeying the Jedi Order.....

Dislikes:Jedi who leave the Jedi Order, Jar Jar Binks, Battle Droids

 

Name: C-3PO

Age: about 30 years

Ever been married?: no

Occupation: pesky lil ***K that dont stop bitchin

Likes: annoying people, making lame jokes, oil baths, getting down with r-2, shooting jedi by accident

Dislikes: Sand, space travel, jawas, combat, r2 at times

 

Name: Meesa called Jar-Jar Binks!

Age: Meesa actin' like meesa 4!

Ever been married?: Meesa had the life-pay wit Qui-Gon!

Occupation: Meesa clumsy!

Likes: Meesa liken da gooberfish, and da mooi-mooi.

Dislikes: Bein' in big doo-doo wit da Boss, steppin' in da big doo-doo, BIG gooberfish, Sebulba.


Call meesa sometime, okeeday?

 

Ok The___ that was really frightening how accurately you did Jar-Jar! Very funny post!

 

Name: R2-D2 (Artoo-Detoo)

Age: Unknown

Ever been married?: No

Occupation: Astromech droid

Likes: (whistles, beeps)

Dislikes: (beeps, whistles, crack)

----

Ok, I'm not good in this.

 

Name: Lando Calrissian

Age: middle 30's

Occupation: Gambler, Pimp Daddy of Bespin

Likes: Easy women, money, Tibanna Gas, Colt .45, Smoothing the Ladies, Han Solo, Wookies, Yankee Candle Company Candles, High Heel shoes, lingerie, Sean John Jeans, android servants, capes

Dislikes: The Empire, Bounty Hunters, No good double crossing swindlers, Mynocks, the ground, New Coke (Old Coke is Better), and socks.

Miscellaneous: Owns own business, independently wealthy, Had a great maneuver at the battle of Tanaab, Secretly wants to be a wookie, Is looking for SWBiF for enjoyable evenings talking about myself and my security forces. Threesomes encouraged.

Call me baby! I'll let you wear my cape!

 

Jango Fett

Age: late 20's, early 30's

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Likes: Killing for credits, blue, hiring assasins that hire droids that hire bugs, and credits.

Dislikes: Light-side force users, reeks, bumping my head, purple lightsabers. And green, why does the boy like green?!

Height: Well, that depends

Ever been married? : nope

Favorite Games: Splinter Cell, HALO, Bounty Hunter, Unreal, and dance dance revolution.

Miscellaneous: Single father just trying to make my way in the galaxy. I'm a good role model for my son (and thousands of other people) but am looking for a wife just in case something happens to me.

 

Name: Frank Palpatine, aka Emporer Palpatine
Age: N/A
Occupation: Emporer, Evil Sith Lord
Likes: Eletricuting people with blue lightening, making them fight their father in duels and hunting down Jedi.
Dislikes: Jedi. Jedi must die.
Height: Depends, I have a slight hump on my back for being so old for so long.
Ever been married? : Haven't been out with a woman since the fall of the Old Republic. Favorite Games: Kill the Jedi with sith lightening.
Miscellaneous: I kill people on occassion that disobery men, choke their necks, use lightening to give them heart attacks and they die -- If I am rejected, you will suffer the same fate.

 

Aayla Secura

Age: 26

Occupation: Jedi knight, intergalactic Hottie

Likes: Long walks in Jedi Temple, anything that goes well with blue

Dislikes: Sith, the color orange

Ever been married? : no

Favorite Movies: Blue Hawaii, Blue Crush, Dark Blue, Mo better Blues, and Blue Car

Favorite food: Blueberries

Favorite color: Blue

Miscellaneous: On cover of Cosmos as the hottest babe ever, took a year off from Jedi training to compete for miss galaxy. Has been know to stare at the mirror saying, "Damn, I'm Hot!"

 

Luke Skywalker

Age: 19

Occupation: apprentice farmer, wanderer, adventurer, all-around wuss who would like to stop being one

Likes: piloting, crying, whining, the Imperial academy, power couplings, lightsabers, and his sister "she's beautiful"

Dislikes: Uncle Owen, himself, Darth Vader, mean people, planning ahead, mean casting directors, haircuts, Wampas, farming, patience, tatooine, caution, undershirts, runaway droids, airing your family secrets in public

Ever been married? : (interviewers note: when asked if had had been married, he stared into the distance and said, "Biggs was right")

Favorite Movies: Corvette summer, The Guyver, and Jay and Silent Bob, that's it.

Miscellaneous: While it was reported that his face was damaged in a car accident it turns out that in fact "excessive crying" was the culprit according to a medical droid in the know.

 

You guys are hilarious!

Name: Luke Skywalker

Age: 17

Ever been married?: Nope

Occupation: Rebel, whiner, fighter pilot, and Jedi wannabe

Likes: Wasting time with my friends, bullseyeing womprats, blowing up technological terrors, damn fool idealistic crusades, cute brunettes, adventure and excitement

Dislikes: Tatooine, the Empire, Darth Vader

Bio: Grew up on the planet farthest from the bright center of the universe. Raised by my aunt and uncle, who are both dead. Never knew my father or mother, but I don't have any issues because of it. Of course, I really didn't have any issues with my aunt and uncle being burned to a crisp either.

 

Name: Ki-Adi Mundi

Age: Count the rings on my forehead

Ever been married?: Seven friggin times

Likes: Political idealists, Dan Akroyd, Coneheads, Botox, changing the color of my lightsaber blade in the middle of battle

Dislikes: Murderers, Yoda, the show Friends, Alf, my entire friggin life

Miscellaneous: I have seven wives, so you can imagine why in the fire rings of Fornax that I'm putting an ad up. I have a very sexy ponytail, not to mention a Grade A forehead. And you know what they say about sentients with big foreheads....


Call me if you want- if I don't get anything from you, I'll just call up one of my SEVEN friggin wives...

*sighs*

Ken Kenobi- And you have a nice day

 

Name: Mace Windu

Age: 40s

Ever been married?: No

Occupation: Jedi Master!!

Likes: Jedi Council meetings, listening to the theme from "Shaft" while meditating, breaking up parties, and having a purple lightsaber that stands out from the rest.

Dislikes: Sith Lords, Bounty Hunters, Seperatists and Ex-Jedi that try to kill him, and the idea of 'going out like a punk'.

Favorite Movies: Pulp Fiction, Shaft, Goodfellas, The Sound of Music.