Star Wars Diarys (Humor)

Ok, new rule. Anyone can be anyone from any movie.

 

oh fun! I wanna play Han...

~~~~~~~

Been stuck on this ship for too long with farm boy and the old man. It feels like forever and it has only been 3 hours. I am hoping that that annoying droid does get his arms ripped off by Chewie. Better then sitting around watching farm boy keep trying to be all tough for the old man. Well have to go, I will write more later dear diary. But the alarm is going off which means that farm boy will be gone soon enough and I can go visit Lando.

 

Jedi master #38:

Dear diary,

Well, we're off to rescue Obi-wan from some bad guys on geonosis. I sure hope nobody dies because if one of us dies then we might as well have let Obi-wan be killed, but if two die then this will be a real waste of a trip. I hope that real weak lightsaber style that all of us learned turns out to be better than those 6 other difficult, practice requiring forms of light saber combat that people like mace, yoda, annikan, obi-wan and others seem to use so succseesfully. Well, I'm sure I'll be OK, my diplomatic skill will work great as we negotiate obi's freedom.

Jedi Master #38

P.S. How come I don't have a name?

 

Chewbacca

May 5,

All was going well today until I noticed that we had a pyrolysis engagement problem in the engine compartment, which of course is the second stage of ignition during which energy causes gas molecules given off by a heated solid fuel to vibrate and break into pieces. Regardless of whether a fuel was originally a liquid or solid, the overall burning process will gasify the fuel. With liquids, the supply of gaseous fuel is a result of evaporation at the surface from the heat generated by the flames. Solids entail a significantly more complex process involving chemical decomposition (pyrolysis) of large polymeric molecules. Certain combustible solids such as sodium, potassium, phosphorus, and magnesium can even be oxidized directly by oxygen in the air without the need of pyrolysis.

I will have to ask Han what he thinks we should do.

Chewie

 

here my jar jar diary

" today mesa fell over and ordered more clones for de chansla. "

 

LoL chewbacca's diary

 

R5-D4
dear diary,
I can never get anyone to do anything, I guess I am a Bad Motivator.

 

Cloud city citizen Joe Igber -

May 9,

Dear diary, cloud city was taken over by the imperials today, there was much shooting and I lost my whole family, thank the Lord I was able to get my ice cream maker out!

 

Yoda

Day 13, month April 3

Mmm, much fear that rises admist the senate, as the darkside gains in strength. Sense it I do, yet nothing I do. For Yoda is safe, and those about that choosen one are doomed they are. Escaped I have, found hole I have. Pillows and urtians my hole needs. Much work to do in the meantime...
Better go I must...in time the furture will bring me a boy...a boy with designing skills.
-Yoda

 

The Rancor Handler (I forget his name):
NNNOOOOOOOOOO! THEY KILLED BINKY! Those mean, heartless creeps killed Binky! And that stupid drooling Jabba only sentanced them to death. Death's too good for that blonde irrtating brat. Oh, Binky. Remember when you were a baby and I fed you your first Rodian? Those were good times. I used to come in and watch him sleep. I shall miss his little face, the way he roared, the adorable spittle drawings he left on the walls. Joe is lending me a shoebox to bury him in. I hope it's not too big.
Oh, Binky. Why???

 

*kicks Stridarious* I'm Yoda...


Livi-Wan: The Rancor Handler's name is Malakili.



Ken Kenobi- And you have a nice day

 

Darth Vader

itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . . force choke someone . . . itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . .itchy . . . itchy . . . itchy . . .

 

No IliveinHoth, you are wrong.Chewbaca's diary would be more like this:

May 5,
Rowwwa Growl Snarl Snarl Roar!Growl growl grrrr rowaaaa!ROAR!!Grrrr snarl snarl Growl growl rowwa!

least thats what I think.

Diary of Ki-Adi-Mundi
Dear Diary,
my life sucks!Yoda and Mace always get all the attention!Its soo not fair!Even that stupid Anakin kid gets more attention than me!And they make fun of my head!I spent the whole day in the bathroom crying but no cared!The council just leaned close to the door and laughed by themselves.They were calling someone a whiny little baby and a girl.Boy I'd sure hate to be that guy.

 

Darth Vader:

Dear Diary,
I have had to have new hearing aids, damn that Skywalker! I never knew he could admit such a loud "NOOOOOOOO!" He acted as though I'm happy about being his Father, unlikely! The boy whines far too much for my taste, I am certain I never whined like that...
Then I got angry when I realized I couldn't hear my sub-ordinates, tragically I strangled them using the Force before I realized they were telling me of my 'new' disability. Life sucks...
Padme would have understood... Still causing suffering on others helps me release my anxiety, I was most amused today at a frozen Captain Solo, lucky no one noticed my breathing get louder, in order to compensate for my amusment! He did look funny, if I were in his position I would have at least pulled a face (not that anyone would see it behind this blasted mask)...
My master will call today, I hate him... He will order me to try and turn Skywalker to the darkside again, ohhhh... how I dread the moment, the boy will probably go ultra sonic on me, then my artifical ears will stand no chance! Life sucks...

*****************************

 

Obi-wan Kenobi

Dear diary,
I am now a jedi, I hope to have a fun interesting life, get married have a big family, and die a happy man, rocking on the porch with my master Qui gon.