Star Wars EP IV: A New Hope (UK FF Stylee)

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

STAR WARS
Episode IV: A New Hope

It is a period of civil war. UK FF rebel spaceships, striking from a
hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil TheForce.Net Jedi Council-Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plants to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Dith Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister Mods, Princess Leia Cantona races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plants that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

 

C-3PHalibut: "Did you hear that? They've shut down the main reactor!"

 

C3PO to R2

'Oh ducky we are really in for it now...why does it always happen to us?'

 

vrootbeeptootbeepbeeptootwhistlebeeptootpop
(speak for your self, i gotta plan)

 

UK FF-rebel troopers rush past the robots and take up positions in the main passageway. They aim their weapons toward the door.

 

Plan?? what kinda plan...now R2 you know what I'm like when it come's to your plans..

 

whinebuzzzfartpoptootbeepbeepbeepflangcrungblingwhizzo
(im with that honey, shes gettin me off this crate)

 

You bitch..so I am not part of the picture anymore...fine!!

 

fuzzzbeeeptootnarfpopwhinefping
(up yours nancy boy)

 

Hello R2. People always said to me that you are important, now I know why. Take these plants to Obi Wan Kenobi, tell him not to smoke them. He must get them to Allderrraaaannn, to my father. In the stem is a pattern, that is exactly the same as the plans for the Dith Star.

 

The UK FF-rebel troopers aim their weapons. Suddenly a tremendous blast opens up a hole in the main passageway and a
score of fearsome armored spacesuited JC-stormtroopers make their way into the smoke-filled corridor.

In a few minutes the entire passageway is ablaze with laserfire. The deadly bolts ricochet in wild random patterns creating huge explosions. JC-stormtroopers scatter and duck behind storage lockers. Laserbolts hit several UK FF-rebel soldiers who scream and stagger through the smoke, holding shattered arms and faces.

An explosion hits near the robots.

 

wooopopspurtblangkerpowyipee
(thats, it toots, press them buttons, ahhyeah, thats the slot, wooo baby)

 

Oh my....that smarts

R2 baby where are you??

 

Threepio stands in a hallway, somewhat bewildered.

A familiar clanking sound attacks Threepio's attention and he spots little Artoo at the end of the hallway in a smoke-filled alcove with a beautiful young girl (about sixteen years old). Surreal and out of place, dreamlike and half hidden in the smoke, she finishes adjusting something on Artoo's computer face, then watches as the little
robot joins his companion.

 

plangdingbongpingsplangcrongplangdingbongpingsplangcrong
(you gert puff, now where that honey gone, i could see right down her top

 

//Thinks

Who the hell is that???

 

GO now little fella, take these plants to General Kenobi. He will know what to do with them.

//Damn, all this technology and no one has invented a bra yet.

 

tingpingdingplingfringdoopbeepbap
(oh for a pair of hands. im outa here, now i gotta lose that golden nonce)

 

R2D2 where are you going now??....R2 comeback!!!

 

dfrapthangdongbingclankwhizzzpingtrongblangcoughblargthronk
(*****, come on then, and keep yer hands away from the metal work)

 

The evil Darth Invader stands amid the broken and twisted bodies of his foes. He grabs a wounded UK FF-rebel Officer by the neck as an JC-Imperial Officer rushes up to the Dark Lord.

 

Where the hell are those plants?! If I didn't know better, I'd assume the force has replaced the two trusty droids with two losers......Still, gives me more time to prepare my Krayt Dragon call - and maybe take these sleeves up a little....the things you forget to do when you live alone for forty years....

 

//Whispers to himself

You should be so lucky

 

Now you tell me where dem transmissions you intercepted are or I'll rip you a new *careful sir, this is a family show*... where are the transmissions you intercepted?

 

<trying to perv on Camie and Fixer using funk binocular thingys>

Woah fit's at in th sky?