Saga Star Wars Episode 1, my edit

Hi, I'm an aspiring screenwriter and to practice editing (partially to get exp. for the indy film I'm supposed to edit and also because I was bored) I did a synopsis edit on the three star wars prequels. let me know what you think. this was originally posted on my blog, www.xanga.com/typhoon5ht

It starts with Obi Wan and Qui-Gon landing on Naboo, where the trade federation has Naboo blockaded.

First action sequence - Obi Wan and Qui-Gon sneak into Naboo using Jedi powers, mind trick, etc. Yep, they ninja their way into the city.

They enter the palace and face off against the trade federation, who have Padme and co at a table. Fight ensues, Obi-Wan, Padme, etc escape.

They fly off in their ship, which gets hit by an attacking Darth Maul, but they escape. They go to Tattoonie. As they land, they see Anikin pod racing. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan can sense Anikin's power (no freaking blood test).

So, they go into town, where Anikin and Padme meet. Qui-Gon sets the bet for Anikin.

Second action sequence - Pod race - one lap through beggar's canyon. Anikin wins by demonstrating Jedi reflexes to fly though a landslide and win.

As they head back to their ship, Darth Maul attacks. Anikin impressed by lightsaber battle.

They go to Corsucant, where Padme reveals self and begs for help. Some, including Bail Organa, say they'll help, but Palpatine says they'll have help.

Action sequence 3 -

Bail Organa, Padme, their troops, and some Jedi attack Naboo and fight the droid army. They are being repelled, but in the midst of a battle, Yoda-led clone troops attack the trade federation. Darth Maul draws Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan away. Anikin jumps into a fighter after his ship is hit. Anikin shows anger, and says he won't let them kill Padme. Anikin attacks the trade federation ships and destroys it with expert piloting.

On Naboo, the clone army overwhelms the trade federation. Darth Maul kills Qui-Gon while separated in the Naboo power core and escapes.

Padme stares down captured trade federation leaders. Anikin sees Qui-Gon's body and grits teeth. Palpatine gives speech about grand army of the republic. Yoda and Mace worry about the war spreading to the galaxy.

Cut to years later, Anikin grown up. Obi-Wan and Anikin in Jedi Fighters attack the trade federation.

Yoda and Mace have talk about balance of force and how Anakin could be the one.

Action sequence 4
Clone wars sequence. Obi-Wan takes the city. Anikin leads fighters and sees Darth Maul's ship. They fly off to another planet to fight. Obi-wan captures city and gets a gilmspe of something that hints that someone in the galactic senate is working with trade federation.

Anikin fights Darth Maul on planet. Anikin kills Darth Maul after showing anger and the dark side.

On Corscant, Jedi council has talk about traitor in senate. Decide to temporarily consolidate power.

Ends - Palpatine voted emergency powers and command of the clone army.

So, that's how I'd do Star Wars - Episode 1 - The Balance of the Force. (no freaking phantom menace...)

also, no freaking Jar Jar.

also, no accidental destruction of starships from Anikin. It shows him with both light and dark sides to his personality.

I think there's plenty of story for the clone wars trilogy with the three movies and the oav clone wars series. they just needed to edit it a lot better.

I'll post the other two later.