Saga Star Wars Episode 1: The Old Order - Very AU PT (Novellized on request)

Title: Star Wars: Episode I: The Old Order
Characters: Kenobi, Padmé, Tarkin, Palpatine, Organa, Anakin, Owen, Beru and Teya'Nen (OC)
Genre: Alternative Universe Prequel
Timeframe: 29 BBY
Author?s Notes: On popular demand, I have novellized this storyline, earlier presented in script form. It is based on my impression of what the OT movies tells us about the PT storyline.

Edit: The attentive reader will note that this story is written in a style that somewhat differs from most on these forums, and indeed most sci/fi/fantasy literature. Specifically, there is no introspectives, no discussions or revelations of the thoughts or feelings of any of the characters. This is intentional. This story started out as a screenplay, and in an attempt to keep the "feel" of a movie, I have ventured to write only "what you see on the screen", which makes the text less explicit than many others tend to be. So lets see if that movie feel can be retained...

(Disclaimer: this work of fan fiction should in no way be construed to be a challenge to Lucasart?s copyright relating Star Wars)

Synopsis: For a thousand years, the GALACTIC REPUBLIC has been the steward of peace and prosperity in the Galaxy, its Senate a place of peaceful negotiation. Lately, however, the SENATE ISOLATIONISTS - who fiercely defend the sovereignty of their systems - have questioned the Republic?s peacekeeping. The integrity of the Republic is about to be tested as a coup d?etat on the peaceful planet of Alderaan brings the issue to the breaking point...

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Alderaan. The second planet of the Alderaan system. Blue, lush, the ?Shining Star? of the Core Worlds was well known as a centre of learning, arts and peaceful negotiation. Hovering above it in orbit was the mighty Alderaan space port, one of the major transport hubs in the galaxy. It served traders and travellers from across the Galaxy on transit from one system to another.

Today was like any other day and the bustle of the space port traffic never ceased. Wherever the eye would look, darkness of space was filled by ships of all sizes and kinds. Well, not all kinds. With the exception of a couple of minor customs shuttles, these ships where all civilian, mostly transports and freighters going to and fro between the port and the surface of the planet. One such ship was the light freighter Desert Blossom, immediately recognizable as a YT-1300 by the disk-like shape and the cockpit that protruded awkwardly on the starboard side. Its unsullied, gleaming white contrasted sharply to the dark of space as it made slow but dignified progress through the port?s traffic.

Young Beru Whitesun?s face shone as she manned the co-pilot?s seat and took in the majestic view of the space port, her blue eyes sparkling. Beside her, her fiancé, and the craft?s pilot, Owen Lars just finished up the final administrative formalities with the port authorities. As he closed down the file, he looked sideways and winked at her. Then he turned to the passenger behind him. Unlike the couple, who were dressed in practical work clothes well suited for the dirty realities of life as self-employed ship owners, the teenager was dressed in a spotless white dress uniform of the Republic Navy Academy.

?All right, Cadet Skywalker, I guess there is a first time for everything. You think you can handle this??

Skywalker?s face split from side to side in a wide, anticipatory grin

?I think so, Captain Lars. I think so?, he answered eagerly.

Owen laughed and as he moved his broad frame out of the pilot seat, Beru took his hand and smiled again as she watched the aspiring pilot scramble to his station.

?This will be exciting.?

?Ok, Ani?, Owen said, ?take the helm.?

?Yes, sir?, said Anakin in jest, only half-mocking the chain of command that he expected to follow for the rest of his life.

Owen watched carefully as the cadet took over the controls, n

 

A very good start, my apprentice! You're learning well! You novelized the story almost exactly the same way as I saw it in script format. I'd say you made a very successful transition! You must have paid attention in class. I'm especially proud of you for your description of the YT-1300. Nice!

Good job!

 

Ahhhh cool! I think I read this when you had it in script form, it seems familiar. Anyways, I really like it, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Keep me updated!

 

Good start.

Exciting too.

Please PM me when you update.

EG

 

Thank you very much y'all!

I have noted that most AU prequels seem to at least start in the same place the official prequels do. Mine obviously don't, so I'm very happy that you like it!

I have set up a PM list and am presently working on the update. It needs of some more editing after the superawesome comments of my Master. English is not my first language, so any concrit to help me improve - in PM form or in the thread - is very much appreciated!

 

Short update.

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The short battle had been fully visible from the wall-sized windows of the space port traffic control room, but the staff was unable to do anything about it. The controllers stood against the far wall, lined up at gun point. The two men holding the blaster rifles were dressed in black uniforms with silver details and the stations left behind by the controllers were manned by others wearing the same. Male and female, human and alien, they were all working the controls feverishly to send out instructions to the herded transports. Their supervisor was standing by the command post. His left shinbone was a shining silver metal and his bronzed complexion accentuated his baldness, his slanted eyes obscured by a red tinted visor. He watched the dark section of space where the fugitive ships had just disappeared, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the command consol hard.

?Blast!? he growled. ?Calculate the trajectory of that cruiser right now! I want an analysis of possible destinations on the double!?

?Yes, sir!? came the affirmative answer, and a scar faced Rodian scrambled to complete the assignment.

?And get me an identification of that freighter,? the commander followed up, scowling.

Behind him, the doors to the control room opened and a man entered. The commander froze in place, fully aware of his presence behind him. The newcomer was tall and dressed in a pitch black, hooded robe that concealed most of his features. The parts of his face that were visible were covered in fierce red tattoos and his eyes were a menacing yellow, burning with a cold fury. The entire control room seemed to skip a beat, as everybody first halted in the midst of what they were doing, and then recovered only to double their efforts, desperately focusing on their tasks. Then he spoke, his voice a chilling whisper.

?Captain Panu, I want a progress report?.

Panu turned, trying hard to present a brave face, but the flexing muscles of his clenched jaws betrayed him.

?Umm...yes, my Lord...Um...the Palace is in our control, the Royal Honorary Guards have been detained according to plan, sir. Also, we have just secured the space port---?

?And the King?? came the icy reply.

Panu?s heart skipped a beat as he tried in vain to formulate a defense.

?Umm..well, my Lord, he...he got away---we had him and then a freighter got involved--unexpectedly--so the royal cruiser got the chance to jump to lightspeed---?

The dark figure didn?t move, his face remaining unreadable.

?Get me that Z-95 pilot on the comms.?

Panu spun around waving his hand at one of his men who promptly complied, switching the right buttons. On a large screen in front of them, the pilot?s face appeared, only partly hidden by the helmet.

?Sir?, she acknowledged.

The black clad man reached out with his hand towards the screen and then clenched his fist at it, as if to curse the face on the screen.

?You failed?, the dark man said, almost hissing. ?You will open your canopy.?

The black uniformed controllers again busied themselves with their tasks to spare themselves from watching as the pilot?s eyes glazed over and her face went limp, totally robbed of any will. In a robotic fashion, she repeated the words as they had just been spoken, hands moving on their own accord towards a lever.

?I will open my canopy.?

The lever was pulled. As the air left the cockpit the pilot?s lungs became exposed to the vacuum of space, collapsing instantly. Her face froze in the terrible distorted spasm of her last moment?s panic and pain. The dark clad man turned to face Captain Panu, who braced himself for whatever might now befall him.

?You had something to add?? he said in that same chilling voice.

Panu frantically went through his memory, just barely managing to find the missing part of his last sentence.

?---b-but we have its trajectory and are calculating its possible destinations now---.?

He was cut short as he started choking. His hands went to his throat, trying in vain to get some relief from the invisible p

 

Whoaaa, intense!

I'm guessing the hooded guy is Darth Maul, and wow, he doesn't mess around, does he?

Awesome job! I can't wait to read more.


Keep up the great work!

 

Good stuff, Danaan! Really well done! I'm enjoying this *much* more than the script format. Granted, I'm extremely biased, but hey, that's the way things go.

You did a great job of building tension in the room. I have very little to critique, here, so you're doing great! Keep it up, Padawan!

 

Thank you for your kind words!

Lots of should go out to my wife on this one. The first draft was not good and I knew it. You see, I'm a social scientist, so my writing reflex is to be circumspect and distanced, which is a very poor perspective for the novel form. I guess that's why I've feared it for so long. She helped me pinpoint the problems and fix'em, so for that.

Interesting really, cuz I almost did no editing at all of the first post, but somehow lost that feeling for the second. I.e. I have learned much, my master, but I am not a master yet.

That's a good guess, of course. His identity is not really a mystery, or won't be for long anyway. Only reason I decided to not state his name directly was that not doing so seemed to enhance the mystery and threat of this character in that first important scene

Thank you master! Well, it's not so much you being biased, actually. I discovered that this format - posting segments of writing on a forum - is really ill suited for scripts. Scripts, I realized, need printing and needs reading at least one act at a time. Otherwise, it's really hard to get a good feel for the rhythm and pulse of the story, it just gets all chopped up with no real feel for the context of it all. Which is one of the reasons to try novellizing instead.

Hopefully, I'll get another update done soon - the good side with having a script to work from is that the trajectory of the story is already in place, so updates are quicker to produce

Edited for format

 

Update as promised, friends. Thank you for the support, it really does wonders for the enthusiasm!

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The perfect acoustics of the Senate Defence Committee conference room was accentuated by the bright Kashyyk wooden panelling. Together with the murals of the dramatic Tolmea Mountains and the fragrant Nabooan incense, it created an atmosphere more fitting for the philosophy lectures of the University of Alderaan than the military matters that made up its portfolio. Its windows were now opaque, dimming the room for benefit of the ongoing lecture. The senators were seated in cushioned, custom-made Zeltroni recliners around the massive u-shaped table that dominated the centre of the room and gave them access to whatever files needed for the topic of the day.

Senator Palpatine held the Chairman?s seat. He was dressed in luxurious dark blue Tyrian robes with intricately woven patterns of gold. His thinning white hair and the deep wrinkles under his eyes showed why he was considered one of the oldest humans holding office and certainly the oldest in the room. And yet those dark blue eyes reflected a sharp and discerning mind, as powerful as ever. Surrounding him, other gray-haired Senators were paying a varying amount of attention to the current speaker, some even struggling to not fall asleep as the heavy dreariness of routine weighed down on them. Bail Organa was the exception that broke the room?s conformity. Not only was he still in his energetic early thirties, he dedicated every bit of his vigorous attention to the presenter.

Admiral Wilhuff Tarkin stood by the centrally placed dais as he carefully manoeuvred through his main points to the benefit of his audience. He was a tall, eagle faced man, with the receding dark brown hair sternly swept back, as befitted an officer of the Republic Navy. He approached the holo-image of a delta winged capital ship prototype, his boots silenced by the soft Wrodian carpet, and continued the presentation.

?---given the current state of the Republic navy in terms of both numbers and technological profile - particularly concerning the Capital ships - this new, updated class of Destroyers would add a substantial amount of mobility and strike capability to the forces already available.?

He pressed a button. The image switched to a rendering of a trooper in white combat armour with green insignia. He resumed.

?The staffing issue has also been considered. The present system of voluntary conscriptions from member-systems is, as you well know, woefully inadequate for any type of wider mobilization of Republic forces. Our recommendation is therefore this: the Clone Trooper. It can be reasonably quickly mobilized into effective operational numbers, yet, unlike droids, it maintains the capacity for independent decision-making under operative conditions while still being controllable. More details are in the data provided in your dossiers.?

Tarkin turned off the projector. The silvery protocol droid, C-1T4, stepped out of the background to handle the administrative procedures of the data log. The stone-faced admiral turned towards the auditorium and tucked his hands on his back.

?That is all, honoured delegates. Thank you for your patience.?

Palpatine smiled and gave the senior officer a courteous nod.

?Thank you, Admiral. That was most enlightening. We have a few moments before lunch, if any of the honored committee members would like to ask questions, the floor is open...?

No one stirred, a disinterested and tense silence descending on the room. It was broken by Senator Organa.

?If I may, Chairman,? he said, as he launched himself into his argument, occasionally glancing towards the datapad to gain support. ?I have to commend you on your work, Admiral. I just have one question; it seems to me that there is no threat assessment included in the report. Don?t you think that that would be essential to determine the needs of the Republic, particularly in a project of this magnitude??

The officer turned towards Organa.

?Thank you, Senato

 

Sorry it's taken me so long to get here! I've been a bit busy. Maybe you should put me on the PM list.

Another great update! Your descriptions are great and drew me in quickly. I'd love to see more of that nice detail over the rest of the story. I'm always available to assist, if you need anything.

Keep it going!

 

Ummm...ooops! Consider it done!

Thank you, Master. Such nice words obviously deserves an update, which, coincidentally I have made ready just now

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The Desert Blossom common room, which doubled as kitchen unit, was small, but careful management of the space had made it homey. It was furnished with plasteel cupboards, a small table and four chairs, their dominant clean white adding to the impression of orderliness that kept the potential chaos of a small freighter business at bay.

When Beru entered, Anakin sat by the table, his gaze fixed at it as if to see through it, his feet placed rebelliously on the next chair. She stopped in the doorway and took a good, if somewhat sympathetic, look at the boy. He didn?t look up, stubbornly staring at the table instead. Not bothering to wait for his acknowledgement of her, Beru went to the unit and fixed two cups of fragrant Reythan berry juice. She put one of them in front of Anakin and sat down beside him.

Anakin ignored the cup.

?Is he still angry?? he asked, an ill-suppressed touch of defiance in his voice.

Beru gave him a somewhat anguished look, but smiled all the same.

?Oh, yes?, she said. ?What were you thinking? That cargo was important to us.?

?Yes,? he retorted. He looked up, straight at her. ?But something happened down there. Something not right!?

As, she met his gaze, the smile left her.

?How do you know that?? she asked. ?For all we know that cruiser might have been full of fugitives from Alderaani justice.?

The boy didn?t even flinch.

?No. Impossible? he said with conviction. ?That cruiser was a royal vessel. Those fighters were Z-95 Headhunters! That?s state of the art! Alderaan is a peaceful planet. It doesn?t have anything like that!?

Beru wouldn?t yield.

?So maybe they were Republic? Then we?re really in trouble!?

?Oh, no?, he answered. ?They had no such markings at all. I?m thinking pirates, or mercenaries.?

He paused, for a moment lost in though. Then he continued.

?Which doesn?t make sense either, where would they get the credits for those fighters? And what were they doing in these parts? I thought such scum only kept to the Outer Rim...?

Beru frowned and looked down.

?I don?t know,? she started. ?How can you be sure of all that? I mean, everything happened so fast. ?

Anakin?s confidence grew as he went over the events in his head.

?I know a Z-95 when I see it. Those people needed help!?

Beru looked up again and watched the boy in silence for a while. Her sigh marked the end of her chastising attempts.

?Hmm?,? she started thinking out loud. ?Your hunches have been spot on before, so you might be right.?

Yielding, her smile returned.

?You did well, you know.?

She regretted her words almost the instant she uttered them as he leaned folded his arms and leaned back, radiating confidence:

?Oh, yeah, well, maybe you should tell your fiancé.?

For an instant, her eyes shot lighting. She pointed one disciplining finger into his ribs.

?He does have a point, you know?, she said with regained emphasis. ?We just bought this ship. And that cargo cost a lot of money that we can?t afford losing. I don?t know if we?ll be able to afford repairs...?

Anakin raised his arms defensively.

?But they were in trouble! We had to do something?, he said. ?Let me guess; he said we shouldn?t have gotten involved??

?Yeah, well, you know how he is? Beru conceded. She looked at the young man for a moment and then put her hand on his shoulder.

?He just isn?t like you, Ani, he likes the quiet life. And so do I, for that matter.?

She sighed again and then

 

Awww poor Owen, I hope he figures out what to do with his problems!

Awesome updates! I really like this story so far.


Keep up the great work!!

 

Another great update, my Padawan! Great job with the dialogue and moving the story along. And your characters are well differentiated--I could tell when it was Owen speaking, even without the speaker labels (or whatever they're called--things like "Owen said."). Very nice job! Keep it up!

 

Thank you kindly, both! I believe I've let y'all wait long enough for the next update, so without further ado - here goes!

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The Blossom exited hyperspace in one of the main traffic lanes over Coruscant. The space over the Republic capital planet was heavily congested with vessels from every part of the Galaxy vying for room. Owen was by the helm, letting Beru handle the co-piloting. For now, young Skywalker was banned from the cockpit.

The pilot guided his ship with a firm hand. Under Owen?s control, the Blossom became a paragon of vehicular good conduct and predictability, even the extent of meeting the regulated speed limits with meticulous precision. As the ship merged into the proper ingress route to Coruscanti orbit, he bit his lip and looked over the scanners once more to make sure that the ship had not attracted any detrimental attention from authorities.

?Now, let?s hope that the boy didn?t cause as much damage as I fear...,? he muttered as the freighter started its descent to the planet surface.

The grey upper atmosphere was as heavily trafficked as the orbit, the clouds of the planet creating the impression of a bubbly grey floor below them. Skyscrapers jutted through the mists, like tree trunks on some Outer Rim bog planet. Owen eyed both the horizon and the scanners ceaselessly for any sign of trouble, but initially none came. He leaned back in his seat slightly more relaxed.

Beru was just about to request landing co-ordinates when he sat up straight again looking down to their starboard side. As Beru followed his gaze, she could see two star fighters slowly ascending towards them. Although their basic design, a wedge shaped craft with cannons mounted on the wings, was similar to the fighters that had appeared at Alderaan, she did note several differences, the gracefully curved back nose being one. More importantly, these ships were clearly marked with Republic insignia and only had twin engines as opposed to the quadruple setup of the others.

As the C-73 Trackers closed and took up flanking positions on each side of the Blossom, Owen banged his hand in the control board, his face an irate red.

?Blast that boy!? he growled. ?And you call him brother!???

The comm crackled to life.

?Freighter Desert Blossom, do not deviate from the present course!? said the command voice of one of the pilots. ?We are sending you landing platform co-ordinates now. Please acknowledge.?

Beru gave Owen a concerned glance before replying.

?Reception of co-ordinates acknowledged.?

?Now we?re really in for it!? Owen barked and clenched his teeth in agony.

Only ten minutes later, the Blossom slowly descended towards a landing platform extending from the roof of one of the skyscrapers reach through the cloud layers like an island in a grey sea. With hissing hydraulics and white smoke billowing out of the reverse thrusters, the freighter touched down as the two escort fighters circled above and then left for some distant hangar.

The scene that welcomed the small crew as the landing ramp descended did nothing to ease their fears. Place on strategic locations covering every exit from the platform was a full squad of soldiers armed with blaster rifles, wearing the characteristic dirt brown uniforms and insignia of the Republic infantry. Their leader, however, was not in uniform, but wore a fine grey tunic under a red senatorial robe.

The three companions moved slowly down the ramp, eyeing the stern-looking troopers cautiously. As their feet touched the ferocrete of the landing pad, the tanned politician walked to meet them.

?I?m telling you, boy,? hissed Owen. ?I am not taking the blame for your hot head!?

Anakin was defiant and confident.

?You don?t have to. I won?t hide what I did. I?m not afraid!?

?Could you at least calm down?? Beru urged, putting a cautionary hand on both of them. ?Let?s talk to them first. Maybe things could be worked out??

Owen glanced towards the approaching official.

?That man is a senator. That means that something really serious has hap

 

You're doing well! I can't wait to read what you did with the next part of the story! Good job!

 

Great update!

I'm glad Anakin is not in as much trouble any more for helping- Owen was definitely surprised!

Keep up the good work!!

 

Thanks, you guys!

Currently working on the next scene, which has proven a bit of a challenge. It just seemed to go on for ever and ever, and then I realized what the issue was: the scene in the script is just too long. It counted about 6 pages or so, which is about twice as long as this kind of scene should be. I'd put my audience to sleep with it as it stands

So I'm currently reworking it to fit the needed pace and rhythm. Have no fears, though, it should be done anon!

 

Well, haven't updated this for a while. But I have the best of reasons. On Wednesday October 29, I became a father of the most beautiful little girl evah! So I'll be a little busy for a while, but I'll be sure to PM y'all as soon as the next update is ready - rest assured that this is not abandoned!

 

YAAAAY! Congrats, and welcome back!

 

Finally got around to those final touches on the update I had begun before she came into this world. Amazing, eh? When I started writing this piece, my daughter still in the womb. Now, she's with us. Awesome. Just awesome.

So let's celebrate with an update, why don't we?

-------


Obi-Wan Kenobi stood alone in the Defence Committee conference room stroking his beard as he admired the murals, his brown and beige Jedi robes and reddish blond hair a sharp contrast against the dramatic grays of the piece. The natural wonder depicted on the wall served as an excellent focal point for meditation, and Obi-Wan?s face was calm, the slight wrinkles under his middle aged eyes almost smoothed out completely by the relaxation. At peace, he was only roused by the stark white of Tarkin?s uniform as the Admiral entered.

?Ah, Admiral,? said the Jedi as he refocused from his meditative trance. ?I take it they will be here soon??

The officer?s countenance softened considerably as he saw the monk.

?Master Kenobi, what a pleasure,? he said and produced a somewhat stiff but perfected bow in greeting. ?Yes, they should be arriving promptly.?

Kenobi nodded. ?Good?.

?It is good to see the Jedi Order taking an interest in this matter,? Tarkin commented as he probed the Jedi with a scrutinizing look.

?It is our duty,? answered Kenobi, with a non-committing smile.

The Admiral proceeded and patched into a terminal, loading data from a pad.

?Can we count on the full support of the Council if action needs to be taken?? he continued in a trained neutral tone that still revealed more to Obi-Wan than it hid. The Jedi still didn?t take the bait.

?I would expect so,? he stated, continuing the verbal dance.

Tarkin looked up directly at the Jedi, seemingly dropping the pretense.

?Good. Such assistance would be very valuable. I am honestly not sure that we have the resources to manage this without you.?

Obi-Wan was somewhat surprised by this directness.

?Oh, now you exaggerate, surely.?

The Admiral shook his head in dismay.

?I am afraid I do not---?

The doors suddenly opened, interrupting him mid-sentence. The Committee protocol droid, C-1T4, entered and showed Senator Organa and his guests in. The three, a young couple and a teenage boy, stopped short just inside the door, staring in awe, the impressive interior only surpassed by the distinguished people already there. The boy, the Academy cadet, leaned in towards the young woman and did his baffled best to hide a nervous whisper as he nodded towards Kenobi.

?Isn?t that a Jedi Knight??

?Yes!? she answered, as wide-eyed as him.

Obi-Wan took the small crew in, the humbled wonder on the dark demeanour that doubtlessly belonged to Captain Lars, the serene curiosity that radiated from Beru Whitesun and the bold naïveté of the boy that must be Anakin Skywalker. Anakin. The Jedi?s gaze lingered on the boy as he took him in, eyes first squinting in surprise before shifting to familiar confirmation. Anakin suddenly looked his way and their blue eyes met for a timeless moment. Then the young man reflexively shifted under the older monk?s scrutiny, drifting down to the cylindrical metallic object in his belt, his lightsaber. Obi-Wan released him and looked away, turning to the tanned junior senator.

?Admiral Tarkin,? Organa started, greeting the officer first. ?How good of you to join us. And a representative from the Jedi Order, too, splendid. It?s a pleasure to meet you, Master Jedi, I am Senator Bail Organa.?

"The honour is mine, Senator?, he responded with candour, accepting the politician?s hand. ?Obi-Wan Kenobi. I understand that you were appointed fairly recently? Congratulations!?

Bail smiled, startled to be flattered by a Jedi.

?I was indeed, thank you. Admiral, Master Jedi, may I introduce you to the crew of the Desert Blossom. It was the last ship to leave the Alderaan system before the blockade was enforced.?

He then turned back to the crew to make the proper introductions.

?Captain Lars, this is Admiral Tarkin of the Republ

 

Oooooh, I like it!

Obi-Wan! I was so excited to see him! He is certainly a calm and pretty closed guy in this one- which I think is pretty neat.

And I can't wait to see what develops between Palpatine and Bail, that conversation was interesting.

Keep up the great work!

 

Really good update! I'm still liking this 100000% better than the script format. You have a great way of characterization that really brings out the best in your cast! Super! Keep it going...when you get the chance. I think we all understand your shifting priorities.

Again, really good work!

 

Thanks so much! I'm very glad you liked my Obi, he's a bit older in my version than in canon and most others and that might play in. I'm dying to see what you'll think of him as the story develops

I'm really glad you liked the Bail-Palpatine dialogue - I was agonizing over it for quite some time so it's nice to see that it finally clicked

Thank you master. Well, the enthusiasm of you guys is really inspiring, but indeed, I still have my disertation proposal to finish between diapers and feeding. Oh, and I have to get some thrown in there as well, lol. But fear not, updates will come, albeit at a somewhat slower pace for now...

And she's super awesome, beautiful, cute, and just generally heavenly.

 

I'm literally grinning over here. This looks fantastic! I only wish I could sit and read every post right now. It's especially interesting to read since I know the dialogue was written first. I love it.

And she's super awesome, beautiful, cute, and just generally heavenly. That actually took me a moment to figure out you meant your daughter, not your next update