Star Wars Fan Fiction Writing Game!

said,

"i'm giving you three reasons why you should back down now:

reason one, I control the lives of all the Stormballs in the galaxy."



Oneal-wan replied,

"that is insignificant next to the power of the Force."



"reason two, look at what i can do..."

suddenly, she threw her two lightsabers into the air and juggled them.



Darth Malfoy retorted,

"what does that got to do with..."


"no, no... she's got a point there...", conceded Oneal-wan.




"reason number three: look at what I'm wearing beneath my cloak..."

and she took off her cloak to reveal her shiny metal bikini.

 

The Dominatrix put the cloak back on.

 

then decided that it was too hot anyway, so she took it off again.

 

... revealing a body honed by years of dancing, lean, with just enough form for a Jedi to sit up and take notice, a jedi like Master Aids... momentarily forgetting about Mistress Secura he mutters his admiration for the Dominatrix...

 

... "why do birds, suddenly appear... everytime... you.. are.. near..."

master aids sang out of tune...

the twi'lek's sensitive ears began to hurt, she pleaded to her sister, the dominatrix

"please...

 

"i hate that song, sing something else..."



Darth Malfoy, seizing the opportunity, went...

"quit lighting flames with my fart..."

 

"..before you tear us apart...", added Master Aids.

And as soon as those words were uttered, a bright white light covered the room. No, the WHOLE building.

No, make it the whole BLOCK.





Wait, the whole CITY.




And as the light disappeared, what remained was...

 

... well, everything was as it was before... except that Master Aids, Darth Malfoy, and Mistress Secura have disappeared.

The Dominatrix deactivated the lightsabres and put her cloak back on. She turned to Darth Oneal-Wan. "Is this some kind of a cheap Sith trick?"

"I have nothing to do with this, you know. That apprentice of mine has shamed me enough. Running off with a Jedi! He shall be punished," said Darth Oneal-Wan

"And my former protege, running off with a Sith! And my so-called sister is still smitten with him. Sheep. This is not going as planned."

The Dominatrix looked at the Sith Lord. Without a spoken word, they decided to cast aside their differences and join forces to find the 3 runaways.

They start to formulate a plan....

 

they'll try to kidnap the three runaways using macaroni and cheese as bait. They're gonna place those three in a big box, then place that box into another box, and tey're gonna mail that box to themselves. And when it arrives, they smash the box with a hammer!

Or, to save on postage, they'll just poison them with a saberdart.

So they contact the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy...



...Cholo Fett

 

The Dominatrix and Darth Oneal-Wan fly to Kamino, where Cholo Fett has made his headquarters, overseeing the production of a million of his Clones. Cholo Fett commissioned this project himself. He wanted a Clone army of himself... to become a race of great bounty hunters... and dancers.

The Dominatrix was delighted at the prospect of a whole army of dancers! She would go back to Kamino to strike a deal with Cholo Fett after this problem is over.

Meanwhile, she and Darth Oneal-Wan try to strike a deal with the bounty hunter. But he was asking for such a high price for the job. He was asking for....

 

an unaltered clone for himself.

So with Kaminoan technology, Darth Oneal-Wan's mastery of the Dark Side, and the Dominatrix' superior dancing abilities, they created a clone of Cholo Fett...


...albeit one-eighth his size...




...mini-cholofett.

 

Cholo Fett sets out for Ryloth with The Dominatrix and Darth Oneal-Wan and of course, Mini Him. Cholo Fett asks to be led to the scene where the 3 disappeared.

With the help of Mini Him, Cholo Fett surveys the scene and finds a piece of evidence. A...

 

a piece of chewing gum that Master Aids was previously... chewing.

from that icky piece of the puzzle, Cholo Fett and Mini-Him surmised that...

 

... Master Aids must be really nervous about something because the gum was really really... well, chewed!

Mini-Him took a closer look at the gum and noticed something else....

 

carrots!

Aids ate carrots before he left for ryloth!


how that could help them find Aids, no one knew...

 

...except

the GRAND MOFF. Yes, him of the "Cracked Shot" fame.

And so they contacted the Grand Moff in his sleazy den of a Death Star. Unfortunately, he wasn't there, so they left a message on his answering Droid. A message which said...

 

"Grand Moff Moffet. I need to know if you have a Jedi in your keeping in one of the prison cells. I have discovered evidence that you may have one I am particularly looking for. Contact me immediately when you get back from your routine weekend ballroom dancing sessions."

Darth Oneal-Wan turned to The Dominatrix and Cholo Fett. "It's the carrots that gave it away. When Mini-Him found bits of carrots in the gum, I knew the Grand Moff must now be involved. He uses those carrots to... errr... ah... seduce unsuspecting... victims...."

The Dominatrix stared at him in shock. "You mean the Grand Moff is a...."

 

"SHHHH!!!..." , interrupted Oneal-Wan. "We do not speak of it here."

"Ummm... okay. Sheesh, it really is getting hot in here." replied the Dominatrix, and she took her robe off again to reveal her newly polished metal bikini.

A sudden gust of wind blew her cloak away...

Cholo Fett and Mini-Him stared at her open-mouthed and exclaimed...

 

"What a fabulous costume!"

Cholo Fett turned to Mini-Him. "This is the costume we have been looking for!"

"You have to tell us where you got this costume, Dominatrix."

"Well... you'll have to ask Jabba the Hutt...."

"This is fabulous, Dad!" exclaimed Mini-Him. "We can rule the galaxy with that costume!"

"Oh, great," mumbled Darth Oneal-Wan. "If you think she's the only one who can wear that fab costume..."

Suddenly, the Sith took off his cloak to reveal... a shiny metal bikini also!

*gasp!* The Dominatrix fainted in shock....

 

"HOLYMOTHEROFANAKIN!" exclaimed Cholo Fett...

in envy, the despicable bounty hunter took off his trousers in a feeble attempt to have a metal bikini of his own. all that's left is his metal crotch guard. "It's the best i could do.", Cholo Fett explained.

Mini-Him followed suit.

So, the Bikini Brigade decided to give Grand Moff Moffet a visit.

 

In the meantime, the Grand Moff was in the middle of watching "Cracked Shot" when...

 

... he felt a unusual sensation in his loins... he screamed in ecstasy at the top of his lungs...

 

and vomited...

...carrots.



"why is it always carrots? I didn't even eat carrots..."


Suddenly...

...the Death Star's doorbell rang...

 

The Grand Moff Moffet reluctantly walked to the main entrance. He opened the door.

His mouth suddenly dropped open, and he stared in shock.

It was the bikini brigade!

The Grand Moff Moffet stood transfixed. He tried hard to calm down and ask...

"What are you doing here?.... Is that YOU, Lord Oneal-Wan?!?! My goodness!"

Darth Oneal-Wan stepped forward and...

 

...offered a tribute of succulent carrots.