I.E., CA Star Wars Humor

I'll start it off...



Enjoy!

 

::feeling silly:: What are we starting off with? Is this for us to tell jokes, comment on things we found funny in SW, or ??

 

Grrr, the link thingy didn't work

http://www.withlouis.com/film/yoda/

Enjoy!

 

ROTFL!! Hey that ties in nicely with the Travels with Yoda thread...another toy Yoda getting his spot in the limelight!

 

Anybody got anymore good humor links jokes relating to all things SW?

 

Imperial Rhapsody
Sung to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody
LANDO: This is the good life
This is a fantasy
Working on Bespin
An escape from Reality.
LEIA: Open your eyes
Stand up to these guys and see.
LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy
Cuz who's my dad, I dunno
Little whine, little moan.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me


PIETT: Vader just killed a man.
Raised an arm up in the air
Now his life is no longer there.
Vader, we had just begun,
And now I've gone and lost the reb-el scum.
Vader, ooooooo.
Didn't mean to make you mad
If I'm not alive again this time tomorrow,
There'll be a new admiral, as if nothing ever happened.


YODA: Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time.
LUKE: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and learn the Force.
PIETT: Vader, ooooooooo.
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.


LUKE: I see a little silhouetto of a man
Palpatine, Palpatine, can it be the Emperor?
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very hurting me!
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH!
I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family.
Spare him this life of such mendacity!
HAN: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
JABBA: Bo shuda! (NO, we will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!


C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for meeeee, for meeeeee,
for MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


(Stormtroopers start headbanging)


LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine?
But you cut my hand off and left me to die!
Oh Vader, can't do this to me, Vader.
I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.


OBIWAN: May the Force be with you.
Use the Force to see.
May the Force be with you,
May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaays.


HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter,
to meeeeeeee.


THE MAX REBO BAND
Sung To Billy Joel's The Pianoman


It's nine o'clock down at Jabba's place
the regular crowd waddles in
there's a weird thing sitting next to me
it has three eyes and mottled gray skin.


Fett says Max can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
but it's haunting and sweet and if you miss a beat
this carbine will blow off your nose.


He said sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.


La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da dum..


Now Jabba the Hutt is a friend of mine
he gives me my life for free
And because he's a Hutt, why, we all kiss his butt
or the rancor will have us for tea.


He said "Bo Shuda, offom da Tukatti!"
as he stuffed a frog into his face
but we don't know a woid, 'cause he shot the talkdroid
So we'll smile and nod, just in case.


Oh, La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da dum..


Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.


Sy Snootles is our favorite vocalist
her face it ain't launching no ships.
Don't know why it behoove her to go kiss a Hoover
but that's how she got those weird lips.


A Gammorean guard is headbutting bricks
as another one gnaws on a bone
and I don't know which has less intelligence
either those two big thugs or the stone.


Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.


Oh, la da da da de de dah
la da de de da dah dum..


It's a pretty good crowd, here at Jabba's place
it's a killing, that's why we're all here
we'll sail over the dune to the pit of Carkoon
and we'll toss someone in with a cheer.

 

Top Ten Reasons Why Star Wars Characters are Better
10. In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun".
9. The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- The Millannium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a wookie.

8. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh -- After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.

7. One word: Lightsaber

6. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire withone glance

5. The Death Star doesn't care if a world is "M" class or not.

4. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters

3. Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.

2. The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave I"

1. Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.

 

That is the greatest thing i have ever read!!! and i happen to be a Star Trek fan as well.....but that was just great!!!!

 

Anybody got any SW funnies?

I have a funny non-related SW one.

A guy walks past a long queue outside Barne's & Noble and asks
"What are you all here for?"
"We're waiting for the new Potter book, yipee!" shouts the crowd
"What? Who's Potter?"
"Harry Potter!"
Guy looks at them blankly
"It's a kids book, it's really good."
"Are you buying it for your child?"
"No, for me. Adults can read it too"
"Of course they can, it's a BOOK!"

Waits for the rotten veggies to be thrown.

 

Stands up at mic, ahem, here we go.....

Palpatine is zapping Luke, and Luke says, "Father, please! It tickles!!!"

Ephant Mon walks into Chalmun's cantina and Wuher asks, "Why the long face?"

Two Stormtroopers walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

After Anakin is done dueling with Dooku, he says, "Very good, let me give you a hand."

Lucas gets his films mixed up... "Episode III: Vaders of the Lost Gundark"

There's a sale at the Maul.... everything's half off.

Yoda and Obi-Wan walked into a bar and bought a 5 dollar drink.
Yoda, seeing that he only had 4 dollars asked Obi-Wan, "Have a dollar do you? A little short I am."

Q: How many Sith does it take to screw in a hyperdrive?
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in it.

Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.

Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.

That's enough from my one Jedi show for tonight.

 

http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df9910/df991027.jpg

 

Good One!