Star Wars (in Glaswegian) Episode IV - Ra Polis Strike Back

Yes, bad words are automatically starred out. Tell that to the guys at our forum...

 

Obi, be a dear and tell us the Greek word for ****

and **** too while yir at it......

could come in handy.

 

cigarette word = poustis


fornication = gamisi


fornicate = gamo


marriage = gamos



If it helps, ask.

 

time for some more, I think....

 

w00t!

Good, it needs some more, this place is dead.

 

aye, I'll add to it soon.

but given that the films are now officially finished, boards such as this will live or die on socialising, and there's been a tendency towards monologue, rather than dialogue, of late.
I think its more important to have actual chats than all these 'look at me, I'm funny' stand up routines.

so I'll update here, in the hope that people will also pop into the pub thread for two-way entertainment.

 

Yeah. As much as I hate to say it, we need the Americans back

sj, where are you?

 

americans ?
you want americans ?

grow a beard, shout 'Allah Ackbar' a coupla times, and you'll quickly be surrounded by americans. Unfortunately, they'll have guns.

 

Yes, unfortunately

 

I'll let you lot start then.

 

*unlocked so the inspired can continue

 

I am ON THE CASE !

 

DD PLEASE I@M BEGGING YOU ( and a darth does not beg often) GIVE US MORE
PLEASE!!!!!!!!

 

hehe

yeah yeah I'm on it, really I am.

it bothers me vastly that this isn'y complete, and I WILL NOT leave it so.

have faith

have hope

have a drink...

 

*has hope, and has drink *

 

(Millport, old Dan?s back garden)

A close-up on Luke's red contorted face shows that he is under enormous strain?..
......then we pull back and see that he is sitting, teeth clenched, on the bare board seat of the Nedi master?s outside cludgie?

"What the hell did ye put in those scones, ya wee basket? I?m completely egg-bound. I?ve not had shook loose anything bigger than a malteser since last week?." he shouted from within the rickety wooden shed.

"Learn to control yir arse you must, yes ? too much force, and piles you will get, mmmmmmm ? now get oot here learn from Old Dan"

"Alright, alright," grumbled Sheepshagger, giving up on his hopes of a normal bowel movement and pulling up his nedi apprentice trackie bottoms.

Old Dan was waiting right outside the door, holding a stinky single-skinner aloft in his wrinkled wee hand.

"Help you drop a boulder this will?." he said.

"Oh I dunno?? if I have any of that, I?ll just get the munchies and eat more of yir damn home baking."

"Listen to Old Dan you must," insisted the Nedi Master.

"Oh. Alright then?.." ? Luke took a tentative draw on the tiny spliff ? "?.. though I canny see what good this wee thing is gonnae do me".

"Size matters not. Judge me by my size do you? Pure grass that is, pure."

"Crivvens, so it is?.." noted Sheepshagger, taking another puff and already starting to feel a bit woozy.

"The stone? feel the stone" intoned Old Dan.

"Hey, I can feel it, I really can," beamed Luke, red-eyed and grinning inanely.

"Now, concentrate on yir bowels. Concentrate! Feel the Fartz flow through you?."

"Aye, funny, now you mention it, things are feeling a wee bit looser, so they are," said Luke, dreamily ? but then, with a shudder, his smile dropped into a grimace. "A lot looser?. Like?..ah?..oh??.I?d better??oh......aaagh?."

Spinning on his heel, Luke lurched back towards the bogshed, grasping for the door with one hand, holding his backside with the other, and walking without separating his knees.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh-ahhhhhhhhhhhh-c?mon c?mon c?mon" he fumbled his trackies down and just about threw himself backwards into the chipboard cludgie.
"AH yessssssssssssssss"

Standing outside, Old Dan kept on talking.
"My ally in the Fartz. And a powerful ?."

SPLUURTTTT

"?.I SAID A POWERFUL ALLY?."

NNNGHHH-SQEEEK-SPLASH!

"?.A POWERFUL ALLY IT IS ! LIFE CREATES IT?."

FRRRRRRRTTT

"?? MAKES IT GROW. It's energy ?."

PLIPPLOPoPLIP

"I SAID, ITS ENERGY SURROUNDS US AND ?."

GUFFF-PLAPP

"AND BINDS US. Luminous beings are we, not this this ?

PLOP

"?.NOT THIS?."

PARP-RUMBLE

"NOT THIS CRUDE MATTER!!!"

Then there was silence.
"Sorry," said a weak sounding Sheepshagger. " I didn?y hear much of that. What were you saying?"

Old Dan turns away, raising his eyes to the heavens and ever so slightly shaking his head?..

 

*dies of internal haemorrhaging*

 

When all's done, post it here

 

You're still bashing Millport!!

Oh aye, hullo again

 

I am not bashing Millport !

I have several good friends on that fair isle.... including the owner of the chip shop.

 

Well . . .

..

..

First off

A Merry Sythmas and all that.


And be you referring to the Deep Sea? The inducer of pregnancies? (cause that was ma maw's excuse 26 years ago . . . to clarify; t'was a "dodgy fish supper" which turned out to be me)

Cause if it is, Stoobs is rather braw, and ma faither used to pick pototoes for Gillians Grandpa when he was but a lad on the island all those many moons ago.


But if it's the Crocodile chippy then yer on tae plums me ol chum.


Either or, Milly doth rule right!?!

 

its the Deep sea

and the scooterboy drinking legend that is Mr Cape...

 

The head of Escape Promotions! The Motherwell supporting hero that he is!

I know him too! My sister and brother in law are pals with him,


Sake man, small enough world by the way?

 

scooter rally is coming tae Millport again this year, 6th to the 8th of July

I will be on the campsite giving it spliffs and bucky from early saturday, should you wish to pop by and say hello.

 

//cracks knuckles