Star wars in Scottish

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Pure ages ago, in a galaxy oot past Carbeth

Obi wann Mcnulty and Qui Gon Jock are in police headquarters tryin tae get to police tae get ther officers oot aff the CYS.

Mcnulty "I have a bad feelin bout this man".

Jock "Oh dinae be a tube a cany sense a hing man"

Mcnulty"It no here man it somewhere else dinae hav a scoob where tho"



Meanwhile a jakey workin for the police goes into see the 2 police constables.

C me am a jake"The negotiaters are neds i believe"

Constable"I knew am no gettin in there wae two neds"

Constable 2" Send the Jakey"



The Jakey walks in tae the room and gees the neds two cans o carling

Mcnulty"Ah cheers mate"

The Jakey walks out the room after givin the neds there cans.The two constables comunicate with the head of police DCI Sideous.

Constable"The CYS have sent two neds in tae pure argue aboot the council puttin the price up for yer dog daein a pure big smelly yin in the street"

Sideous"Al deal wae that later man,send all available police tae Niddrie the neds are pure plannin tae chore stuff oot the paky's n a hear their also goin tae go n torch the a few ppl's hooses there"

Constable"Ye man we'll sen doot aw our police"

Constable 2"Wat boot the neds here man wat wae goin tae dae boot thm"

Sideous"The Council should never of told thm tae come here,Arrest them immediantly and dinae gee thm bail tae a see wat goin on"

Two police go up armed tae the two neds and tell thm tae pt ther hands up

Mcnulty"Oh no man wat nw wer ****

Jock finds an old bottle in his pocket he breaks the top hoof aff smashes it against the police guys heed thn picks up his gun een kills the other police man.

Mcnulty"Oh i man quality can ya teach es hw tae dae tht"

Jock"Only when yer a bit more complete wae the fartz".

Jock een Mcnulty wonder oot the police station een see an army aff police gettin n ther pure mental vans.They both sneak intae 1 of the vans disguised as a busy.

Meanwhile the constable een the other 1 get a call fae queen senga amidala.

Amidala"We aw ken u n yer crew r goin tae come n pure try tae stop us fae chavin stuff oot the paky's but uv got nae chance"

Constable"We r nae goin tae waste oor bloody time on yer bloody neds amidala,wae huv got two of yer neds here trin tae gt the £100 fine for dug shite no gettin cleared up dropped".

Amidala"aye sure man ya liein ... we will see".She hangs up on thm

Constable 2"she's right man a hink they ken wer comin tae gt thm"

Constable"Its tae late fur tht now hoof the polic will be hoof wae up the M8 by now man"



Mcnulty n Jock arive in niddrie wae all the other police they hear wats goin tae happen tae all the neds.

Mcnulty"I man a hink wer goin tae need tae go een kick some mare polic arse".

Jock"Nah well warn the nedrons thn contact the heed of the council"

The polic hear thm.Mcnulty een jock bolt,they heed aff in seperate directions.A jake stands in the way aff Jock."Get oot the way ya bawbag.A polic car is jst aboot tae knock thm both over wen mcnulty dives intae the jake takin both safely across the road.

Jar jar stinks"cheers man u saved my life i will serve yae nae matter wat"

Jock"nah man yer orite a dinae hink al be needin yer help the day"

Stinks"No help yae a can man"

Mcnulty comes rushin doon fae the scheme.

Mcnulty"wats this"

Jock"A local"

Mcnulty"we need tae warn the neds"

They go tae a car n get oot ther chibs which is a neds weapon.They put the chibs up tae the guy thta is aboot tae get intae the car's throat.

Mcnulty"Gees the keys ya bawbag"

Random"aye big...aye nae bother"

Mcnulty n jock get intae ther pure smental car along wae jar jar stinks.They get tae the pure hide oot n see loads of polic surrounding it.Mcnulty eeen Jock get oot ther chibs.They start paggerin aw t