Saga Star Wars meets Seinfeld (crossover) (Humor) DV,Padme,Kenobi,Palp

I'm just going to start typing and see how this turns out. This is AU. More like in Jerry Seinfeld's world. I'm going to rip off a few episodes and add my own flavor and SW kick to it.

Vader (Jerry) Padme (Elaine) Obi Wan (George) Palpatine (Kramer)


--Vader, Padme, Obi Wan, and Palpatine wonder around a mall parking garage looking for Palpatines old beat up car that they arrived in. Palpatine is using the force to carry a big screen TV, and Padme has a Goldfish that she bought, and it's running out of oxygen.

Obi Wan - What were you thinking Palpatine! Why can't you just remember the number were we parked!

Palpatine - I swore it was Orange 37! I have forseen it!

Obi Wan - Why do you need to for see it, if you could have just looked when we got here and write it down!

Palpatine - A pen and paper really don't go with this outfit.

Vader - Would you two stop, I have to take a pee really bad, and I want to go home, let's just find the car.

--Vader's voice boomed, as the four continue to stroll through the parking lot.

Padme - Ani! Look at my fish, do you think it's alright?

--Vader takes the small plastic bag, and holds it high in the air, tilting his head, looking at the goldfish gulp for oxygen underneath it's watery surface.

Vader - It's eyes do seem to be getting a little glossy.

Padme - See! See! We have to find that car!

--Padme smacks Palpatine in the arm, and it forces him to lose his concentration and his big screen TV hits the concrete.

Padme - Oh my god!

Palpatine - It's ok! It's not broke. I'll just pick it up and set it behind this car here. I'll remember the number this time. Orange 17!

Obi Wan - Orange 17!

Padme - Look theirs the car!

--They all four run to the car, only to realize it's not theirs, just someone with a very similar car.

Vader - I've got an idea! Why don't we all split up, and look for the car.

Padme - But then how will we find each other?

Vader - We will meet back here in 15 minutes. I have to go find a place to pee.

Obi Wan - Now remember everyone, meet back here, in front of Orange 17.

--Obi Wan and Vader walk off together.

Vader - Obi Wan, cover me while I use the bathroom in this secluded corner back here.

Obi Wan - Whatever, hurry up! I'm losing my mind! I can't believe Palpatine! This is just my luck, I have to take my parents out to dinner tonight!

Vader - I'm sure we will find the car, now cover me.

--Vader then starts to go in the corner, and uses a rubber tube and hooks it to his suit to relieve himself.

Obi Wan - Are you done yet?

Vader - Hold on, this suit gets in the way.

Obi Wan - Well don't get any on you for god sake.

--Tarkin, who was recently hired as a security guard, catches Vader relieving himself.

Tarkin - Helllooooo Vader!

--Vader turns around, with the tube still sticking out of his suit, looking at Tarkin.

Vader - Helllllooo Tarkin!

Tarkin - You know it's against the law to do that in public.

Vader - You don't understand, I was just.

Tarkin - I think you need to come back to my office, I'm going to write you a ticket.

Vader - TARKIN!

--Vader says in a digusted voice. Meanline Padme and Palpatine continue their search.

Padme - My fish, it's having trouble breathing.

Palpatine - Have I ever told you about my friend Darth Plageious? He could help your fish out if he were here right now.

Padme - Really?

Palpatine - Yes, he sells fish tanks for 5 dollars, all rigged up and everything, he gets them wholesale. I'll call him once we find the car.

Padme - It will be too late by then!

Palpatine - Giddy up!

--Vader stands in the security office as Tarkin fills out some paper work.

Tarkin - So, just couldn't help yourself huh?

Vader - You don't understand! In this suit, when you have to go, you have to go!

Tarkin - Why is that?

Vader - You know why! I was burned alive, and I have no control over my own bladder. Who is going to be intimidated by me, if I have urine running down the side of my leg, lik

 

I just found this in my list of things to read. (Yes, I'm that far behind, LOL.) You should do more of these (after you finish the other stories you're working on since I'm hooked on those). Up!

 

LOL, I love padme and the fish.

 

ROFL... Man, I keep trying to think of Ewan Macgregor delivering George's lines...

I love that you added "Its breaking my heart." to the Padme/Elaine line... Its great in all the contexts it can be put in, Star Wars, Seinfeld, and in general as a badly written George Lucas line...

 

LOL OMG I love seinfeld and that was one of my fav episodes