Beyond - Legends Star Wars MST3K! (YJK, Humor) UPDATED 3/27!

Spoiler warning: This takes place after Crisis at Crystal Reef.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or the whole MST idea. Mild swearing warning, but nothing earth-shattering. If you can watch TV, you can read this.

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Jaina, Jacen, Tenel Ka, Lowie, Zekk, and Anja are at the river, sitting around on the banks. Suddenly, a thermal detonator is thrown into their midst. Before the Jedi can react, it explodes and envelops them in a cloud of smoke.

When they awake, the YJK find themselves in a large room. Luke and Mara are still unconscious in a corner of the room. A screen on the wall lights up, and Callista appears.

Jaina: Callista! Thank goodness, can you get us out of here?

Callista: (smiling maniacally) Who do you think put you there?

Jacen: Jealous Trekkies?

Callista: No! I put you there, to punish them.

Jacen: (confused) Punish the Trekkies?

Callista: No! To punish their unholy union.

Jacen: What union? I thought the Tre-

Callista: No, you moron! Luke and Mara! He was mine first!

Mara: (who has just woken up) 'Fraid not, Callie. I was trying to kill him long before you murdered Cray to escape from your little computer home.

Callista: Exactly! You were trying to kill him! You don't deserve Luke!

Mara: You've been dead for at least thirty years! Why should you get to come back and steal my man?

Luke: (who has been awakened by the noise of a soon-to-be catfight) It's okay, ladies, there's enough of me to go-

Callista and Mara: Shut up, Luke!

Callista: As I was saying, he was mine first!

Mara: That is such bull! I saw him in Jabba's court, when you didn't even know you existed.

Zekk: Um, sorry to interrupt, but why are we here?

Callista: Oh, yeah. You all are still here. I've decided to put Luke and Mara in a quarantine of sorts until he changes his mind and marries me.

Mara: Why should he? You left him!

Callista: I had my reasons! Anyway, to speed up Luke's return to me, I will be sending you the most horrible, most despicable torture known in our galaxy.

All: What?

Callista: Bad Fan Fiction! with the occasional piece of spam for variety.

All: No! It's inhuman!

Callista: Yes, badfic and spam. Luke will be mine after the first story!

Anja: Hey, you still haven't told us why we're here. (gesturing to herself and the YJK)

Callista: Because I didn't want you all to be around as a rescuing party. Any further questions?

Luke: Just two. a) Where are we? b) How did we get here?

Callista: (batting her eyelashes at Luke) You're in one of the old temples, but far away from the main Academy that no one can sense you. There's also ysalamiri surrounding this temple to prevent any contact with the outside. I was able to gather you all together with the help of my assistant.

Lando steps out of the shadows behind Callista.

All: Lando?!

Luke: Lando, you've gotta get us out of here, I'll use the Force to convince the New Republic to drop that Ewok's sexual harassment suit!

Lando: Tempting, but no. I've got my own little agenda; I want Mara.

Mara: What? I thought you got over that. Besides, I was never interested.

Lando: Maybe not, but you will be!

Mara: No I won't.

Lando: Yes you will.

Mara: No I won't.

Lando: Yes you will.

Mara: No I won't.

Lando: Yes you will.

Mara: No I won't.

Callista: Ahem, I believe that's enough. Lando, come with me, we're going to find a truly terrible piece of fan fiction for them to read.

Lando: This isn't over, Mara, you will!

The screen flickers, and they disapppear.

Anja: Well, as long as we're stuck here, Zekk, Jacen, come with me!

Zekk and J

 

Lowie: Everyone breaks it at sometime or another. We Wookiees just convince those who hear to keep quiet.

Mara: And if they don't?

Lowie: An angry Wookiee is surprisingly good at negotiating such situations.


*****!

 

LOL. Great start!

 

Thanks, guys!

Here's the next scene.

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Everyone's sitting around the main room, doing pretty much nothing. Jacen is braiding Tenel Ka's hairand Tenel Ka seems somewhat worried about the consequences. Luke is asleep, and snoring loudly. Mara has invested in earplugs, which the others seem to be jealous of.

Callista appears on the screen with Lando at her side.

Callista: Hello, my prisoners. I have something for you to read.

Mara: Callista, this is childish. Will you please come to your senses and-

Callista: No, I will not. If this is how I'm going to be treated, then I'll just leave.

The screen starts to flicker out, but then comes back.

Callista: I almost forgot, wake up Luke. As much as I love him, he has to go through this, too.

Luke: I'm awake, and have been since I heard the voice of the most beautiful creature in the galaxy.

Callista: Why, Luke, if I had known then-

Mara: Shut up, Callista, he's talking about me.

Mara and Luke do the goo-goo eyes thing. Everyone else gags for a minute and then gets over it.

Callista: Fine then, enjoy your story!

The image of Callista on the screen is replaced by text.

>>HAPPIYLY EVERAFTER

Jacen: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Jaina: Stop that! We've got too many overused catch phrases as it is; don't drag that one out of the closet!

Jacen: Sorry.

>>Jaina Solo was sitting on the temple one day thinkiing: does Zekk love me as much as I love him? I will ask.

>>So Jaina got up and went to go find Zekk. She found him.

Jaina: Do I really need to point out what's wrong with those first few lines?

Zekk: No, I think it's fairly obvious.

>>"Zekk, Zekk, there is something I must know." Jaina said.

>>"What is it Jaina?" asked Zekk.

>>"Do you love me Zekk?" Jaina asked him.

Jaina: Because that is the kind of thing someone would ask without any kind of of warning, or any prior thought.

Jacen: There was prior thought.

Jaina: You consider that 'thought'?

Jacen: Well, no, but it's your character that's stupid enough to ask it.

Jaina: Just wait until we get to you.

>>"OH OF COURSE I LOVE YOU" SCREAMED ZEKK.

Zekk: Why am I screaming?

Jaina: Proclaiming your love for me gives you a happy?

Zekk: I guess.

>>"YIPPIE! LET'S GET MARRIED" JAINA SCREAM BACK.

Jaina: That is so not how we got together.

Zekk: Yeah, and why are we all in caps?

Jaina: To emphasize the screaming, of course.

Zekk: For those who can't understand how screaming alone can be irritating?

Jaina: No, just the author who can't get a point across unless it's all in caps.

>>MEANWHILE...

>>Jacen was in his room with his animals. He was feeding his animals. Jacen likes his animals. Then one of his animals bite him. Jacen said "ow" and gave the animal that bited him more food.

Jacen: Why do I have to be in this story? I thought it was about you two! (pointing to Jaina and Zekk)

Zekk: Misery loves company.

>>"that will keep you from biting me" said Jacen.

>>Then Tenel Ka came into Jacen room. This made Jacen happy. Jacen loved Tenel Ka but she did not know.

Tenel Ka: Damn it! Should have known I'd get tied in if he was there.

Jacen: I love you, too, Tenel Ka.

>>"Tenel KA!" he says "what are you doing here?"

>>Tenel Ka looks at Jacen. She thinks he is so cute. "I am here Jacen. " she says because she is nervous but is good at not showing nervous.

>>"Ok." said Jacen. he stared at Tenel Ka because he think she is pretty. He think about telling her but he is scared she will beat him up because she is very very very very very very much stronger than him.

Luke: Only one 'very' needed to get the point across.

Jacen: And

 

LOL. The YJKs, Luke, Mara, and Anja's reaction to the 'story' was great. I loved the running commentary they kept going.

Anyway, can't wait to see what Callista has in store for them next. This is great!

 

Thank you!

Here's the next scene...

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The only people in the main room are Tenel Ka and Jacen. Everyone else is off doing whatever it is they do when they aren't being written about. Jacen's sitting on the floor, and Tenel Ka's on a laptop computer next to him.

Tenel Ka: No, no, no! Stupid people, make up your minds!

Jacen: The who and the what now?

Tenel Ka: (glances up from her computer screen) These fan fiction writers! It's all because of KJA's little 'let's cut Tenel Ka's arm off so I can have a semi-original plot thing'! If I don't have an arm already by my amazing regenerative powers, I've got a prosthetic. Or they don't even mention it! It's so irritating.

Jacen: So, what'd the person who's writing us now stick you with?

Tenel Ka: Apparently, she couldn't make up her mind; it seems to flicker in and out of existence.

Jacen: How's she justifying that?

Tenel Ka: She lives in her world, and the Star Wars canon is in another.

Jacen: Where does that leave us?

Tenel Ka: We go back and forth.

The screen on the far side of the room lights up, and Callista appears.

Callista: Well? Where is everybody?

Jacen: Dunno. We don't exactly have set meeting times, and we try to avoid being in the same room together simultaneously.

Callista: So go get them!

Jacen: I can't.

Tenel Ka: Why not?

Jacen: That would require getting up.

Callista: Okay, Tenel Ka, you get everyone.

Tenel Ka: He's closer.

Jacen: But I'm so tired!

Callista: Tired from what? All you do there is eat, sleep, and complain. Doesn't seem like very hard work to me.

Jacen: (mutters) Slave driver.

Jacen gets up and leaves to call the others. When he returns, Mara and Luke are noticeably absent.

Callista: Jacen, where's my Luke?

Jacen: (looks uncomfortable) Um, he and Aunt Mara were kind in the middle of something; they'll be here in a second.

Callista: In the middle of what?

Jaina: Come on, Callista. They are married.

Just as smoke begins to rise from Callista's ears, Luke and Mara appear, looking somewhat disheveled.

Callista: That's it! You're just going to hate this story.

Without another word, Callista closes her connection and the first lines of a story come onto the screen.

>>All the YJKs are eating and a big ship appears over head.

>>All look up*

Lowie: Failing to mention of course, that there is a ceiling in the cafeteria, but I guess that's just a moot point.

Zekk: What kind of point?

Lowie: It's when-Oh, nevermind.

Anja: What's the title?

Mara: I don't think there is a title.

Luke: It's probably better that way.

>>Jaina:...Wow.....Big ship..Real Big Ship..That Ship is Really Big

>>Jacen:Yah.....whatever...

Jacen: Seem's you're a bit lacking in the vocab department, sis.

Jaina: You do, of course, know that 'yah' is not an actual word, right?

Jacen: Irregardless-

Jaina: That's not a word either.

Jacen: I'll shut up now.

Zekk: Sure, that's what you said last time.

>>Tenel Kaslaps Jacen* Don't act like a Vally Girl. Thats my thing. You can't have it.

Tenel Ka: I'm not a valley girl!

Anja: You are at heart, and that's all that matters.

Lowie: That makes no sense.

Anja: That's not the point.

Lowie: Then what is the point?

Tenel Ka: The point is at the end of my dagger, and if you aren't careful I'll make it quite clear.

Luke: What dagger?

Tenel Ka: You heard nothing.

>>Zekk: That is a cool ship.....Hay that ship is pretty big.

>>Anjathinks: I wounder if I can steal that ship*

Mara: How do you plan on stealing

 

LOL! These are great! Everyone's so freakin funny! And those stories! they almost sound like some of the stories I used to read on ff.net

more soon please

EJ

 

A truely terrible story? Yikes!

 

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHA~! I'm gonna die laughing. This rocks. There were so many parts I loved, I can't quote them all... but I especially love:

Jacen: Rare as the occurence is...

Anja: Jacen!

Jacen: Sorry, just my well-hidden hate for you saying hello.

Awesome, awesome job. Keep it up!

 

Thanks, guys! I'm glad you're all enjoying it.

And here's the next story!

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Everyone's in the main room. Luke and Mara are in a corner together, Zekk and Lowie are taking apart a small computer. Jacen and Tenel Ka are playing cards while simultaneously staring into each other's eyes. Anja is watching them, scowling. Jaina's reading a copy of Zahn's Vision of the Future.

Jaina, heaving a dramatic sigh, throws the book down. Seeing no response from her companions, she picks the book up again, and throws it harder. This time, Mara looks up.

Mara: What is it?

Jaina: I don't know why so many people like that book!

Luke: What's wrong with it? Mara and I wouldn't be together if it weren't for that book.

Jaina: It's not that! I love you and Mara together. I mean, she's way better than Callista. (shudders)

Mara: So what's wrong with the book?

Jaina: Well, it's the book where you and Luke get together. But there's almost no romance!

Mara: That's because Star Wars isn't about romance. If our fans really wanted that sort of thing they'd write it them selves.

Luke: They do write it themselves.

Mara: Point taken. But if all it was about was romance then Star Wars books wouldn't sell. That kind of thing is boring to some people, you know.

Jaina: True, but I wanted smoochies! And a wedding. And everyone's reaction when they found out.

Luke: Don't worry, some fan fiction writer with little to no life will come along and-

Mara: Luke be careful! We are in a fan fic right now, and it might not be wise to-

Luke: Bah! What's she gonna do? It's not like she can do anything bad to me.

Just then, Luke's hair begins to change color. As Luke's body also shrinks and changes shape, he makes assorted cries for help. When the transformation is complete, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker has assumed the form of a small, pink, rabbit.

Mara: Told ya so.

Luke bounces around, sniffing in vain attempts to make noise. Jacen and Tenel Ka look up from their cards and notice him.

Jacen: Hey Lowie, dinner time!

A petrified Rabbit-Luke jumps into Mara's lap. She glares at Jacen.

Mara: Is that really necessary?

Jacen: No, but it's fun.

Before Mara can say anything else, the giant screen lights up, revealing Callista, with a dejected Lando behind her.

Callista: You can't image how wonderful it isn't to see you all again. I'm sure you'll just hate this story.

Mara: Come on Callie, can't we be reasonable about this? Because of our situation, Luke's turned into a house pet, and we have to read these vile stories.

Callista: Luke's a what? (seeing the pink rabbit) Oh. Well, the current writer owes me for making me the villain here, so I guess I could ask her to change him back.

Mara: Please do. He's no good to me with fur.

Callista closes the connection for a minute, and when she comes back on screen Luke begins to change back.

Luke: Thanks, Callista. I'm not leaving Mara, but at least I'm not a rabbit.

Callista: It's my pleasure.

Jaina: Hey, Lando, what's wrong with you?

Callista: (frowning) He's run up a huge bill on my credit card. I've got to go to fix it.

Lando: But they were on sale!

Callista: I don't care if they were on sale, don't you ever go near that store again!

Zekk: As uninteresting as this is, aren't we going to read the story?

Callista: Yes, you are. Goodbye!

Her image fades as text begins to scroll down.

>>love potions the misadventures of super lowie

Lowie: This can only bring me pain.

>>luke and callista are in a room

>>luke say callista i love you

>>i love you too callista darling luke say back

>>doo da doo de doo

Mara: Luke! Ho

 

::chuckles::

Luke as a bunny....that is just so freakin wrong

hey I like VOTF! Awsome book!

::clutches her copy::

Zahn's my hero!!!

aNERway...

great update! More soon?

EJ

 

MY GOD, THATS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is the ONLY time ever telling a writer that their work is the embodiment of shavit is a compliment, lol.



Cant wait til the next installment.

Maybe hook Jaina up with Lowie ?






Yub Yub!

 

Eowyn_Jade: Thanks! Don't get me wrong, I like VOTF, but I just wanted to see a little more L/M action. Considering that it's the book that got them together, I was surprised that there was little romance in the book. Still a great novel, though.

Wes_Janson: Thank you! And as for Jaina hooking up with Lowie...we'll see. Lowie is pretty lonely, after all.

Here's more!

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Everyone's sitting around, not doing anything. Lando appears on screen, sans Callista.

Mara: Did Callista finally get a clue?

Lando: Oh my beloved Mara: A thousand times I hath dreamed of this selfsame moment in time, for to me your absence is like a-

Luke: Lando, I don't know what you're saying, and I don't care, but if you ever come anywhere near my wife, so help me I'll-

Lando: Point taken. Callista's meeting with some people from the credit card company and told me to give you all the story.

Lowie: So, you're saying she's gone because of your shopping disaster?

Lando: It's not my fault! I just had to buy them!

Anja: Okay now, cry on your own time, we gotta get this over with.

Lando, still sniffling, nods and brings the story on screen in place of himself.

>> The Begining of the Trekkies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mara: This is never a good sign.

Zekk: Not to offend any fans, but Star Trek really does suck.

Jaina: You mean because of the lame special affects, or the lack thereof?

Jacen: The oatmeal-on-the-face instead of something that actually looks cool?

Tenel Ka: Watch it, Jacen. Your mother did have cinnamon buns on her ears in A New Hope.

Luke: Yeah, but at least there was always food on the set.

>>Everyone is sitting by a river when Anja pricks her finger on a porcupine quill. She bleeds tu death!!!!!!!!!!!

Anja: How did I bleed to death from a porcupine quill?

Lowie: Anja, please, you're dead, don't spoil the moment.

>>Zekk and Jacen try tu bring her back tu life by kissin her!!!!!!!

Tenel Ka: Jacen! Didn't I warn you about that?

Jacen: It's not my fault! Don't hurt me, hurt the authors! Besides, Zekk was in on it too!

Zekk: Don't even try to bring me down with you.

Jaina: You shouldn't sound so confident Zekk, you're only saved because I know you'll make it up to me later.

>>Jaina and Tenel Ka get angry and beat them up!!!!

Tenel Ka: And they deserve it!

>>"Take that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

Luke: I get the point! You don't need to be so redundant all the time! Say it once, and only one "!" is needed!

>>and that!!!

>>Lowie nephew of the great wonderful magnificint awesome Chewie walks by!!!!!!!

Lowie: And here I thought I'd been spared.

>> and That!!!!

>> Take that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

>>and that!!!!

>>and that!!!

>>and That!!!!"

Anja: Wait, during all of the taking of that, I forgot what was going on!

Mara: There was something going on?

Anja: Shouldn't there have been?

Mara: Not in this story.

>>The boys are mistereiously transported tu Endor

Luke: Because without extremely advanced technology, we can do stuff like that.

Jaina: No we can't.

Luke: Sarcasm, Jaina, sarcasm.

>>where they are kidnapped by Ewoks who are singing"Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum Yuum Yum" and just as they were about tu be eatin they are transported to Earth!!!!!!!

Jacen: What just happened?

Zekk: We may never know.

>>Where they become singing purple and green dinosaurs this is theyre favorite song.

>>I love you You love me We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me tu you won't you say you love me tu!!!!!!!

Tenel Ka: That's you two's favo

 

ooo...so prompt! Veyr nice

terrible update, of course well you know what I mean I almsot wanted to join Mara and start shooting the lot of them

EJ

 

*Struggles to type in a reply because hands are shaking with residual hysterical laughter.*

ROTFL! You're going to kill me!

I needed that! I really, really needed that! I've been trying to up the humour on these boards - you do it so well!!!

MORE!!!

 

Oh, my stars. That was humor defined! I wanted to do this earlier, but you beat me to it. Darn you! Awesome MST3K, Anakina. Although I am a Trekkie, I still found the last story to be funny.

 

This is very very very very funny!!!!!!!!! Please please please please PLEASE continue!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanks for the replies, everyone!

Here's more.

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Jaina: I dunno. I mean, it can't be by more than ten million. It's just not feasible.

Tenel Ka: Doesn't matter. I say it'll be around fifteen or sixteen.

Anja: I don't think it'll come anywhere close to beating it. I don't know why you all think it will, but-

Lowie: You're all wrong. It's gonna be by twenty million, no more, no less.

Mara: (just walking in) What're you all talking about?

Jacen: By how much Star Wars: Episode III is going to beat Titanic in the theaters.

Anja: Assuming that it would, and it won't.

Mara: Anja, you are merely a side affect of the stupor KJA was in when he wrote the last three YJK books. No one wants to hear what you have to say.

Zekk: Mara's right, Anja. Don't ever speak again.

Anja: I feel so loved.

Tenel Ka: You really shouldn't.

Callista suddenly appears on screen, obviously in a hurry.

Callista: Can't talk, have to deal with the insurance companies, send my love to Luke, here's the story, bye!

She disappears, and text slowly scrolls down from the screen.

Luke: Should I bother to ask her what insurance company she was referring to?

Lowie: Do you really care?

Luke: No.

Jaina: Then don't.

>>The YJK morph!

Luke: You know what this means, don't you?

Jacen: I had bad karma in my last life?

Luke: No...

Mara: We're not in it!

A bottle of champagne appears from thin air. Luke and Mara toast and Luke promptly passes out after one sip.

Mara: Damn. Forgot about farmboy's alcohol tolerance: the lack thereof.

Luke: (barely awake and drunkenly singing) I feel pretty, oh so pretty. . .

Tenel Ka smacks Luke on the head with a convenient chair. The singing stops.

>> Noteon't own, don't get paid, Don't care

Jaina: It always makes my heart flutter to know how much they care for our sanity.

Zekk: Really? I usually get nauseous.

>> My wounderful fiends were sitting talking and eating when jacen relizd he loved anja with all his shrivled hart.

Tenel Ka: Jacen!

Jacen: It's not my fault!

Jaina: That sounds familiar...

>> She died nine months later after jacen had become a mad doctor and they had had had there first kid. anja changed her name to Rachle and die horibly.

Tenel Ka: All right, Jacen, she's dead; you're forgiven.

Jacen: I knew I'd be redeemed!

Anja: And the vicious cycle continues.

Luke: (just waking, very confused, still drunk) What?s going on? I'm the star! I wanna be in the-

Tenel Ka gets the chair again; Luke's out.

>>the kid died too. jacen changed his name to ben quest and died his hair red. he bleached zekks hair and passed him off as his son. he hierd fur boy to be gaurd and changed his name to roger. tenel ka was his daughter. she had gotten into anjas drugs before this and it had completly messed her up.

Jaina: Anyone else completely lost?

>> Ben/J: oh life is sad. I need to complete my training and finsh my lastest invention. wow is me.

Jacen: Is that me?

Jaina: We may never know.

>> Jes/TK: I wanna be a blond! Daddy let me be a blond so I can be stupid like jonny!

>>FB/Rog: As long as you bleach me hair too!!!!!

All: ?

>> Jon/Z: I wanna be smart. Like Jess. soo.. I'll steal dads invention and changeym self into jes and be smart. she can be stupid forever.

>>Jonny steal the devise and tries to use it but instead they become part of the Sailor Moon story line.

Zekk: Sailor Moon?

Jaina: I have a feeling this is gonna get worse before it gets better.

Jacen: Doesn't it always?

Tenel Ka: Yes, but there's still some hope.

Lowie: There really

 

Oh, my goodness...I couldn't stop laughing at that. You are good at this, Anakina. Up!

 

MY GOD!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

THAT ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!











Yub Yub!

 

ROTFLMAO!!!

 

Gods, that was fantastic!!!

MORE!!!

 

Here's more!

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Mara: Only one more year!

Anja: One year until what?

Jaina: Episode III comes out! Too bad we'll be stuck here.

Zekk: Don't worry, HBO or someone else will have it on TV by October 2005, tops.

Jacen: Thank the maker for cable television.

Callista comes on screen.

Callista: And how are we today?

Lowie: I was fine this morning, but I feel suddenly nauseous.

Callista: That much is expected. Enjoy the story!

Luke: We never enjoy the stories.

Mara: Sarcasm, Luke, sarcasm.

>>Dah Dah duh dau dah duh Dah DAh

Anja: If I die now, would I still have to read this?

Jaina: If I said "no," would you die?

Anja: No.

Tenel Ka: Then you'd still have to read it.

>> The Real Adventures of Jaina Quest

>>Starrring: Jaina Quest, her father Dr. Lowbacca Quest, bodygaurd Jacen Bannon, Jacen's wife Mara Bannon, their daughter Tenel Ka Bannon, the Sultan of India Zekk Sinc.

>>Bad Guys: Dr. Luke Surd, Henchpeople Anja and Raynar

Anja: Why am I always evil?

Jacen: Because you are evil.

Tenel Ka: Jacen, honey, why did you marry your aunt?

Jacen: I swear it wasn't me!

Tenel Ka: Jacen...

Mara: Tenel Ka, don't talk back to your father.

Jaina: Jacen, if Tenel Ka's your daughter, then doesn't that make you a little perverted?

Jacen: It's just a story! Tenel Ka's not my daughter; Mara's not my wife. It's not my fault!

Zekk: You can't win, Jacen. Shut up now, and they might only neuter you.

Jacen: But it's not my fault. Ever.

Jaina: Don't be ridiculous. It's always your fault, by default.

>> It was a bright beautiful day at the Quest Compound in Maine.Jacen Bannon (Jace for short) is polishing his ship The Millenium Falcon. When he gets a phone call. "Hello" he sais in deep voice. "Yes this is Jace Bannon.Who am I talking to."

Mara: It's amazing, the author has captured his lack of an intellect perfectly.

>> "You" sais a girly voice "are talking to me Anja."

>> "Do I know you?" he asks. "No" she sais "but I was wondering if you would go to dinner with me." "Sure Miss Anja when shall I be there. "8:00" she say. " My plan is brilliant." say Anja's boss the evil Luke Surd.

>>"Daddy" ask Tenel Ka Bannon " who was on the phone?"

>>"Uh ah Uh Coworker I'm meeting for dinner."

>>"Dad! Not another girl."

Luke: Wonderful. First, Jacen marries my wife, and then he cheats on her with Anja, of all people!

Mara: And I thought Anja was the Academy's resident whore.

Jacen: It's just a story...

>> Next day when Jacen get back from date he sais "I must get rid of dear Mara." So when he and 'dear' Mara are together out on cliff he shoves her off. "Geramino!" Then he anounce his wedding to sweet lil'ol Anja.

Luke: Jacen, for killing my wife, you now have kitchen duty for an undetermined amount of time when we get out of here.

Jacen: (whimpering) It's not my fault...

>> " But Daddy you can't do that to lil'ol me." daughter Tenel Ka protest."I mean mom has always been there for me even when I lost my arm."

>>"Too Bad." Jace leave room.

Tenel Ka: (smacks Jacen) How insensitive! My mother, your wife, is dead because you pushed her off a cliff, and you don't even care about what I think!

>> "Aw poor baby talk"say Sultan Zekk.

>>"Shut Up" Jaina and Tenel Ka say in unison.

>>"You can't make me." Sultan Zekk say.

>>"Wanna bet." Jaina say threateningly as she gets the masking tape. While Tenel Ka pounds her fist in her other hand threateningly. 30 minutes later Sultan Zekk inds up hanging upside down from basket ball hoop.

Jaina: I must be getting used to bad stories, because I thought that made a scary kind

 

LMAO! Johnny Quest <3

I was such a huge Johnny Quest fan. Though, I must say that that little ficlet was very screwed up. I'm sure I've said this before, but the poor YJKers. Evil Callista.

Can't wait to see what'll happen next.

 

MOOOOOOOOOORE!