Before Star Wars (Pre Saga) Episode I Mystery of the Sith "Choose Your Own Adventure" Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by CodyMonKenobi, Oct 8, 2003.

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  1. CodyMonKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2001
    star 4
    here is the next section, hope you enjoy it I will have another one ready later today or tommarow.

    [Cut to]
    INT. Palace ballroom

    Maul and Jaron continue to wrestle on the ground as little Donda stands back in fear. Jaron then manages to get his legs positioned under Maul and flips the Zabrak off of him. Maul the pulls out his newly acquired saber and flips it on, the red blade hums and Maul looks upon the younger human and grins.

    Maul: Time to die jedi.

    Jaron without speaking moves his hand out and his saber glides to his hand and the blue light suddenly shoots out of the chamber. Maul charges at Jaron with his blade ready to run through the human, but Jaron easily parries and knocks Maul off balance.

    Palpatine and his master square off and the sabers fly to and fro striking one another at lightning fast speed. Suddenly fifteen royal guards come running in blasting at the four combatants. Darth Malice and Palpatine block the fire, Malice hands begin to glow purple and flames shoot from his hand Palpatine sends lightning at two guards sending them into the wall, Jaron deflects the shots fired at him, but is hit in the shoulder from a blaster. Donda picks up a vase off the stage and runs at the guard and smashes it over his head. The guard falls to the ground but stands back to his feet and kicks the little Gungan girl across the room. Jaron rises back to his feet and darts toward the guard. The guard raises his blaster but Jaron with his blue saber cuts though the barrel and rams the blade though his chest. He then turns and with the force pulls the blasters from the hands of two other guards as they look at him in confusion he lunges at them and with a diagonal motion decapitates one and cuts the other at the torso. The Chiss soldiers lay on the floor some with saber wounds, some burning, others smoldering from the lighting, but all dead. Jaron walks over to check on Donda, as he kneels down Maul takes the opportunity to attack.

    Donda: Looken Outsa!

    Jaron twists trying to avoid Maul?s attack, but his caught with a grazing blow to his upper arm. He grabs his arm and Maul stands over him with his saber ignited. Palpatine and Malice still sending blows to one another, seem to counter each others moves. The finally stand still.

    Malice: I have taught you well.

    Palpatine: You cannot defeat me.

    Malice: Maybe not with a saber, but with the dark side that is another story.

    The Chiss Sith Lord and the Human throw down their sabers.

    [Cut to]
    EXT. Space

    Echuu and the two squadrons of star fighters are in a heavy dogfight. The thick blackness of space is light up with blaster fire and exploding ships. A Yarkora in a Hutt fighter fires and hits a Sullustian Jedi sending his fighter spinning out of control. A Chiss fighter fires at a Toydarian in a Hutt fighter sending his ship into flame. Echuu fires at a Gamorran in a Hutt Fighter that is chasing a Human Jedi fighter. A chiss fighter lets out a sonic pulse emitter (The weapon on the slave one Episode II asteroid fight.) and it hits a Toong in a Hutt fighter. With a wang sound it sends its pulse through out the stars destroying Hutt, Chiss, and Jedi Starfighters alike, it the smashes into the Sovereignty, breeching the hull causing it to fall toward the planet.

    [Cut to]
    INT. Bridge of the Sovereignty

    The young Padawans throw off their crowns as Jocasta Nu gives them instructions.

    Jocasta: Quickly Young ones into the escape pods, hurry we don?t have a lot of time.

    Obi Wan while heading over to his pod looks at the viewer screen and watches as the Hutt fighters destroy three of the first ten pods that were jettisoned.

    Obi Wan: Blast, I never want to get on a ship again. I hate flying.

    Obi wan jumps into his Pod along with two other Padawans one human and the other the wookie that sat next to him at the consoles.

    [Cut to]
    INT. Palace Ballroom

    Darth Malice force pushes Palpatine across the room; he then throws his cloak on the ground. And begins to speak an unfamiliar language

    Darth Malice: Sel ha mon cat
  2. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    That was great!

    I loved the detailed action moves in the fighting. The descriptions and dialogue was also good.
  3. imright87 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 1
    oh yeah. best segment ive seen
  4. CodyMonKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2001
    star 4
    I am glad that you guys enjoyed it. Actully I borrowed the Sith Mage idea from fuedal space. I thought that if I used that power I could maybe put an explination of why Palpatine looks so hitious in the OT.
  5. PadawanofQui-Gon Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2003
    star 4
  6. CodyMonKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2001
    star 4

    [Cut to]
    EXT. Palace walls

    The two Chiss soldiers walk over to the sea of jedi bodies and check them for life. The first few bodies that lay are dead, but one soldier turns to Einar and yells out.

    Soldier: I have a live one, but he is badly injured. What do you want me to do with him?

    Einar: Kill him.

    The Soldier turns back and raises his blaster rifle. Qui Gon Jinn jumps up behind him and quickly cuts the Chiss guard down.

    Qui Gon: Jedi knights, to your feet.

    Many jedi knights stand, some struggle to get up, and others don?t move at all. The black Sun begin to fire at the Jedi rapidly. The Chiss army continues to stand their ground. A fire burn in the palace courtyard, the wall is severely scared from the battle that is taking place. Aurra Singh and five Chiss soldiers step onto a STAP the ignition is flipped and the machines hover inches off the ground. Aurra?s pale skin is black with dirt and grime sweat drips off her brow. She ignites her yellow bladed lightsaber and motions to the other five to follow her. As they speed outside the palace walls, one of the STAP is caught in the crossfire and spins out of control and crashes into a small group of Black Sun soldiers.

    [Cut to]
    EXT. Space

    The camera looks at the battle from a distance and explosions can be seen in every area. The camera pans in closer and we see Jedi Starfighters trying to avoid Chiss fighters. A Quarren jedi in a blue Starfighter weaves back and forth, left to right trying to avoid fire from the Chiss fighter pursuing him but is hit and goes up in flames.

    [Cut to]

    INT. Master Rakesh?s Cockpit.

    Rakesh: Red leader, this is Blue Leader. The Chiss are coming in and wiping out our guys we have no choice but to engage them.

    [Cut to]
    INT. Echuu?s Cockpit

    Echuu: All right, fire on them if you are fired upon. You have the right to defend yourself and others but our enemy is the Hutt.

    [Cut to]
    INT. Bridge of the Behemoth.

    Admiral Thrawn smiles as he looks upon his inevitable victory, as his Lieutenant walks over to him.

    Lt.: Sir, it seems that the Jedi are fighting the other fighters and avoiding our men.

    Thrawn: The republic has no business in our affairs, continue attacking them until they retreat.

    Lt.: but Sir, they are jedi knights the will die before retreating.

    Thrawn: Then they shall die, as shall you if you question my orders again.

    Lt.: Yes sir.

    [Cut to]
    EXT. space

    A Chiss shoots down a Gran in a Hutt fighter. A Twi?lek Jedi fires a missile at a Phuii Hutt fighter. A Chiss fighter fires at a red Jedi fighter, and as the weaves out of the way Master Echuu flies in front and blasts the Chiss fighter causing it to explode into a million pieces.

    Echuu: Hooah!

    Master Rakesh pursues a rodian Hutt fighter and a Chiss fighter, A wookie Jedi blasts a Chiss fighter sending it burning and out of control. The Weeguay Jedi knight looks up and for the first time in his life feels fear as the Chiss Fighter slams into his causing Rakesh? ship to explode into a giant fireball.


    there ya go, I hope you guys enjoy this part as much as the last. Thank you all for the feed back. I am going to try and finish it up tonight. again I hope you enjoy.

    ***EDIT***

    Everyone go to the beyond the saga forum and check out Star Wars Episode VIII Rise of the Vong CYOA by Rush Limbaugh. He is one of the Pioneers of CYOA, and a very talented writer so give him your support.
  7. DarthNeil Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2003
    star 4
    It is great to have you back cody.

    Did you know that your other site has been locked.
  8. CodyMonKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2001
    star 4
    Yeah I am going to start it over so that it will attract new readers and we won't have to go to the third or forth page just to read the story. Here it is the final section of the story.

    [Cut to]

    EXT. Palace walls

    Aurra leads her STAP soldiers through the streets battling the Black Sun, and avoiding their fire. Aurra fires three shots at the Black Sun?s lines and flies past them and cuts down a Arcona and a Ishi?Tib. A human shoots a Chiss rider off of his STAP. Einar throws a thermal detonator at a group of four jedi disinagrateing them all. Foucarg guns down a human Jedi. Qui Gon deflects fire from a STAP as it comes closer and closer to him, finally when it passes he cuts through it. The Roaring of the Jedi Starfigters can be heard again, as they soar through the sky the send rockets into the Black Sun?s lines and one destroys the Chiss assault tank.

    [Cut to]

    INT. Palace ballroom

    The room is full of bodies with the stench of burned and charred flesh filling the air. The room that just moments before was a war zone is now no more than a tomb, the only living creatures are Palpatine, Darth Malice, and Maul. Palpatine raises his hand sending lighting bursting toward his master, but Malice sends lightning back toward the apprentice. The lightning collides; Palpatine has a look of struggle on his face as Lord Malice has a look of victory. Palpatine?s lightning, being weaker than his masters, is sent back toward him along with that of his masters, sending screaming to the ground. Maul looks upon Palpatine?s pain in fear, when suddenly Darth Malice stops. He lifts Palpatine off the ground and cackles. Palpatine is too weak to move or struggle, he gives in to his master?s victory.

    Malice: Maul, take your weapon finish off Lord Sidious and take your place as a Sith lord. This is your destiny.

    Maul stands behind the great Sith Lord and looks at the man he is to replace. He ignites his red saber and gives Palpatine one last look before he makes his move. He murmurs,

    Maul: For my father

    Maul closes his eyes and raises his red blade and stabs it through Malice?s back, the Sith Lord loses all concentration and Palpatine falls to the ground. Palpatine with a renewed hope once again unleashes his fury of lightning as his master this time is unable to counter and he lays on the floor screaming and begging for mercy. Maul looks at Malice with hate knowing now that his revenge has begun, as Malice once squirming, screaming body becomes a motionless, lifeless corpse.

    [Cut to]
    INT. Palace walls

    Aurra and one other STAP soldier remains she motions to him to go back to the palace. As they get behind the wall where there is cover from the fire they both hop off of their STAP.

    Aurra: Get back to the line we are losing to many men, we?ll soon be over-run.

    Soldier: Yes ma?am.

    He runs back to defend the wall and as Aurra walks back in that direction her communicator goes off.

    Aurra: (into comlink) Yes?

    Palpatine: (from comlink) We have finished our job, it is time that we made a discreet exit. Meet me in the palace-docking bay.

    Aurra looks over at the Chiss soldiers who continue to fall to the ground and with out a second thought turns a hurries off in the other direction.

    [Cut to]
    EXT. Space

    The Jedi ships that once was numbered at forty now stand at 13 it is a swarm of Chiss fighters the Hutt all go back into their frigate and prepare to escape.

    [Cut to]
    INT. Echuu?s cockpit

    Green 3: (from comlink) Sir we aren?t going to hold much longer, we need to retreat.

    Echuu: No, we are going to make it we just have to give Qui Gon a little more time.

    Green 3: But sir, we have already lost arghhhhhhhh?.

    Echuu: Come on Qui Gon, you gotta get us out of this.

    [Cut to]

    Qui Gon and his depleted force of knights charge into the Black Sun squad, Echuu aims his blaster at Qui Gon but Qui Gon cuts through his rifle, kicks him to the ground and places his saber at his throat.

    Qui Gon: Surrender, we have you beaten.

    Einar looks around and all of his men ar
  9. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    You're welcome.

    That was a grand climatic finish.

    You kept the Starwars touch throughout the tale, and the movie and EU characters interacted very well indeed.

    Well done!
  10. DarthNeil Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2003
    star 4
    That was a great ending can you tell me where the next episode will be and what it will be called as the other one is locked.
  11. imright87 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 1
    that ending was great. alot of stories endings are anti climactic, but yours was great. cant wait for episode II
  12. CodyMonKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2001
    star 4
    I am very glad you all enjoyed it. I enjoed writing it very much and can't wait to get the first scene of DtDP written.
  13. Rush_Limbaugh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2003
    star 4
    Very nice Cody. I'm upset I wasn't around to read it. I'll be around for Episode 2.

    For those who haven't visited, I have begun to write a new "Choose your own Adventure" trilogy that takes place after Return of the Jedi. The first installment "Episode VII: Dawn of a New Era" was completed a few months ago, and now, "Episode VIII: Rise of the Vong" is in progress. Everyone who enjoys the Choose your own Adventures will surely love to join in. Hope to see some new faces stop by along with all of you regulars!

    (Thanks for allowing me to spam on your site Cody)
  14. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    *looks at hand- hmmm the mind trick to make the author forget lurkers isn;t working so well*

    You left us at a cliffie still wondering how many padawan's will survive. I guess that means I have to move on to part II.

    *waves hand* you never saw a lurker named Kitara on this thread- so there!
  15. imright87 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 1
    all lurkers welcome here! dont be shy, we wont hurt you...much
  16. DarthNeil Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2003
    star 4
    As long as you give them some mouny they will not hurt you.
  17. CodyMonKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2001
    star 4
    Yeah I meant to write another part for Obi Wan, and the Padawans. I also meant to add a scene where Jocasta Nu is disciplined, but I forgot to write it. [Note] I do not read EU [/Note] I have been tring to read stuff (on TF.N) about Xanatos and every one has some kid named Bruck in the stories with Obi, The other human was going to be him. Sorry about that maybe it will be in the Special Edition :p
  18. DarthNeil Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2003
    star 4
    That would be cool if you could do that when you have finished the other two cyoa.
  19. Darth_Scruffylooking Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2003
    I just read the entire story today, after seeing you mention it on Scooby's EpIII CYOA. I really enjoyed reading this and I look forward to your next episode.

    Nice Job.
  20. DarthNeil Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2003
    star 4
    Yes everone must go there to read it and vote on what is going to happen next.
  21. PadawanofQui-Gon Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2003
    star 4
    WOW!!!! I'm glad I didn't miss much! look forward to the next post I do! :)
  22. CodyMonKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2001
    star 4
    Well everyone I unlocked this thread in hopes that one or two people would be intrested in reading it. I am about to take my thrid stab at writing a sequel to this story. This is how it works. You vote on what happens I write it. I can't do this with out readers, and I know its hard to pick up on a sequel after its started If you haven't already read the first instalment.

    So hopefully some of you will be intrested. This was my first fanfic and it is my baby. Enjoy, have fun and hope to see you in the sequel
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