Star Wars Screenplay Sneak Peeks

Discussion in 'Jacksonville, FL' started by DairNimiris, Feb 3, 2006.

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  1. DairNimiris FanForce CR Jacksonville, FL USA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    May 19, 2005
    star 2
    All right, I'm dedicating this thread to segments of my screenplay as it comes along. These scenes are cut from the total project in no particular order, just as they come to mind. The forum sucks in ways of code, so I can't make anything look pretty in HTML (why did they disallow that?) but story is story so I hope you enjoy. Peace!


    Valin falls back from his position, the crates going up in
    flames. He calls into his com-link.

    VALIN
    Major! Major, do you copy! We have
    a serious spitstorm up here.



    EXT. OUTLANDS

    Jacen is firing shots back at the pursuing Kyp.

    JACEN
    You're preaching to the choir.

    VALIN
    Sir, they have a space ship on our
    heals.

    JACEN
    A space ship? Are you guys in the
    air?



    INT. SPACEDOCK

    VALIN
    No sir. See for yourself.

    Valin whips out a small recording device and aims it toward
    the chaos.

    VALIN
    You expecting to come home any time
    soon?



    EXT. OUTLANDS

    Jacen and Ryn watch on a bracer gauntlet Ryn is wearing.

    JACEN
    We're on our way. Stay alive.

    VALIN
    Aye aye, cap.

    JACEN
    (to Ryn)
    Anything you can do?

    RYN
    While driving?

    It isn't a question he's expecting an answer to, but when
    he's met with dead silence, he looks at Jacen who's still
    looking at him, he's serious.

    RYN
    No. Aola, take the wheel.

    Aola and Ryn switch places on the speeding vehicle, and for
    once their eyes lock. A mixture of emotion running through
    both of them. But then Ryn gathers himself and gets back to
    his mission. Tapping away at his gauntlet, the screen rises
    again and he's met with visuals of the battle in the hangar.
    He taps some more buttons.



    INT. RENAISSANCE COCKPIT

    Though the cockpit is unmanned and the ship powered down,
    everything comes on at once. Lights flicker to life all over
    the room and the screens blink a few times before running
    diagnostics.



    INT. SPACEDOCK

    Valin is huddled behind a straining pillar that's taken a
    serious beating. He looks over across the room to three
    similar pillars. All of the crew have taken up similar
    positions. They've been pushed back and with the Star Blazer
    pressing the offense, there's nothing they can do to
    retaliate.

    Keyan holds Shalo close against the pillar. Shalo's bleeding
    profusely, now. A stream of it flows from her mouth and chest
    where she took both hits.

    SHALO
    I didn't think I'd go out like
    this.

    KEYAN
    Don't you die on me.

    SHALO
    Keyan, you're cute. But you're not
    my type.

    KEYAN
    Oh come on, babe/>
  2. DairNimiris FanForce CR Jacksonville, FL USA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    May 19, 2005
    star 2
    I was skiing today so the update comes late.


    INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT
    Limestone and mildew ornament the large, dark holding cell. Dim moonlight from a portal high above offers the only light. In the center of the chamber, held down by large chains bolted to opposing walls is a battered Iaco. Pacing in front of him is the dark Sith, himself, a crude looking baton pouncing in his hands.

    BAN
    You have lied to me. Twice untrue. Your name.


    He hits Iaco across the face with the baton.


    BAN
    Your loyalty.


    He hits him again.


    IACO
    I played you just like you play everyone else.

    BAN
    Is that your answer, then? An eye for an eye?

    IACO
    I have nothing against you, Ban. It was a job. But you reap what you sow.

    BAN
    What job? Who hired you?

    IACO
    It?s too late. They know who you are, where you are.

    BAN
    Who hired you!

    IACO
    You sowed your fate. You?re about to reap the whirlind.


    Ban strikes him again.


    BAN
    WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!

    IACO
    They?re already gone. Off world. You?ll never find them. They?ll find you.

    BAN
    You?re so smug for a mercenary. Moral agendas getting the better of you? They have no place with a soldier of fortune. I can pay thrice what they?re giving you. All you have to do if give me the information I need and then I will forget this ever happened. You?re good with a gun, cunning with infiltration. I could use you again. Bring you back. Take care of you.

    IACO
    Sure. Like you took care of Hoss?


    Ban raises his baton, it pulses blue and crackles. It could be deadly. But we never know. The door behind him swings open and Vula enters.


    VULA
    Master.


    Ban stops himself.


    BAN
    Did you find them?

    VULA
    They left world on a smuggler?s vessel.

    BAN
    Dammit! By now they must be...

    KYP (O.S.)
    Not far off.


    Ban turns to see the pirate standing in the doorway with Vula at his side.


    KYP
    Made sure of that, myself.

    BAN
    And who might you be?

    KYP
    Just someone with a vested interest in your little project.

    BAN
    Oh?

    KYP
    You want the kids, right? And I want the man who?s got them. And I know exactly where they?re heading.


    Iaco?s listening to the whole conversation, as if he could do anything about it. Ban grins widely and turns to him.


    BAN
    I think I just lost use of you.

    VULA
    I rather like him.

    BAN
    You would.

    VULA
    (offended)
    He may be of use to us.

    KYP
    I fail to see the reasoning behind that. We know where they are. What could he possibly offer you now besides trouble later on? Kill him and avoid the chances.


    Ban considers. He turns to Iaco who?s practically embraced the idea at this point. Instead, the dark lord plants a firm fist to the center of his eyes and everything goes black./>
  3. REDEYEE Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Great job! Keep it up.
  4. Anakin-and-Padme Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2005
    star 3
  5. DairNimiris FanForce CR Jacksonville, FL USA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    May 19, 2005
    star 2
    Been in the air for the past few hours and last night I didn't have internet. I'm in LA now and I'm not sure exactly when I'll have internet again. Anyhow, off to make some movie magic. Peace!




    INT. RENAISSANCE - LATER
    The ship?s crew is seated along one of the twin steal tables, none of them seem too pleased. Jacen is giving a harsh glare toward the front door where the two Jedi stand.


    JACEN

    Kuat? That?s a Hell of a distance from Coruscant.

    ZORIN
    In the other direction.

    RYN
    I don?t like this, Jacen. First the hunt, now a change of plans, you
    know how I feel about changes in plans.

    JACEN
    I know.

    RYN
    Nothing good ever comes of a change in plans.

    JACEN
    What is on Kuat that we have to change course so urgently to acquire?


    Ariela and Zak exchange glances for a moment before Zak finally takes a breath to say:


    ZAK
    We can?t say.


    That doesn?t bring a very well response from the shipmates. Several of them chuckle in disbelief, others grumble sarcastic responses. What has their captain gotten them into this time?


    JACEN
    You can?t say.

    ZAK
    This mission is on a need-to-know basis. As it stands, the next step from reaching our destination on Kuat does not qualify as need-to-know. We will be contacted once we have safely arrived.

    KEYAN
    So, what you mean is, you don?t know.

    VALIN
    I don?t like it.

    ZAK
    Captain, you need not worry. Your responsibility has shifted. Do not feel you are required to run us to Coruscant. When we arrive at Kuat, we will pay you your due and you can be on your way.

    JACEN
    Yeah, about that payment.

    ZAK
    We have not discussed it, I know.

    KEYAN
    You brought them along without a contract?


    More hisses of dissatisfaction. Jacen is giving Zak the ever interpretable look, ?worst thing to say, worst time to say it.?


    JACEN
    All right, this was my call and I?ll play it how I see fit. They?re Jedi, it would be out of place for them to rip us off.

    KEYAN
    Major, with all due respect, are you out of your mind? Do you have some kind of Force reader and forgot to tell us about it? These kids could be Sith, for all we know!

    JACEN
    I don?t think so.

    KEYAN
    You don?t think so.

    JACEN
    No, Keyan, I don?t. And if you don?t approve, you can take your second guessing to someone more accustomed to it when we reach the Shipyards.


    Keyan sits back, dejected.


    JACEN
    And the same goes for anyone else. I am still the captain of this ship. If you don?t like my actions, leave when we land. But when we?re flying, you go by my order. Is that clear? Everyone take a break.


    That?s their cue. Like a domino effect, the crew stands one by one, stepping past the children, vicious eyes of scorn locked onto them as they pass.


    Ryn is the last to go, Jacen stops him with his words.


    JACEN
    Ryn stay. I want somebody to be a witness in case people start talking.


    Ryn crosses back and takes a seat.


    JACEN
    (to the Jedi)
    Have a seat, please.


    They do.


    JACEN
    I have to feed my crew. That?s why we?re having this discussion.

    ZAK
    Five thousand, two when we reach Kuat.

    JACEN
    And the other three?

    ZAK
    The other five if you decide to go on to Coruscant.

    JACEN
    (to Ryn)
    Kuat isn?t really that far from Coruscant, you know.

    RYN
    It?s your call.

    JACEN
    All right. Let?s take it as it goes. We?ll get you to Kuat, but I expect some form of currency in my hand when your luggage hits ground.

    ZAK
    It will be as you say.


    Zak stands, signalling for Ariela to do so as well. Together they leave the room. Jacen sees Ryn watching him and for a second, they give each other silent stares.


    JACEN
    What?

    RYN
    What?

    JACEN
    Don?t look at me like I?m stupid.

    RYN
    You?re not stupid.

    JACEN
    Exactly my point, so don?t pretend like you have nothing to say. Of all the men in my crew, you can?t fool me. Coincidentally, you?re the only one I care to listen to. So whatever you have to say, say it.

    RYN
    I just think that Keyan was right. You don?t know who these children are. A lightsaber thro/>
  6. ObiWanAmanda Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2005
    star 2
    Wow that is awesome!! You have been a busy bee.
  7. DairNimiris FanForce CR Jacksonville, FL USA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    May 19, 2005
    star 2
    I've been busy making shortfilms out here. But now that we're done I've had some time to work on the screenplay...finally. Anyway, here's another excerpt. Enjoy!



    INT. BUBBA'S SHIP PARTS IMPORIUM - NIGHT
    Bubba's place doesn't look much cleaner than Tonto's but it sure is bigger. So much bigger, in fact it takes two people to run it. BUBBA is a short but bulky man who fits the bill. Grease-stained shirt pushes out with the big man's gut but it doesn't seem too uncomfortable for the engineer. The other man, DOYLE is Bubba's assistant and stands about a foot taller and three feet thinner. He hauls random equipment away and keeps things as tidy as any ship part shop can be, which isn't that much, but it's got him wiping his hands with that darned towel ever five minutes.


    BUBBA
    Good thing ya came when ya did, too. I was about to send the last shipment North. They're short on fusion panels.

    JACEN
    People seem short on everything around here.

    BUBBA
    200 credits apiece. And don't tell me that ain't no bargain.

    JACEN
    Two hundred? Has the sand gotten a little to your brain?

    BUBBA
    Sure has gotten a little to our trade routes, what with pirates and all. Robin' our freight blind.

    RYN
    Guy out back says there's another town just a few clicks north of here. I say we check it for what it's worth.

    JACEN
    We keep runnin' and we'll never get off this dustball.

    While Jacen and Ryn discuss their limited - if any - options, Zak steps forward.


    ZAK
    You will give us what we need at a reasonable price.

    BUBBA
    Define reasonable, boy. Like I said, water's a little thin 'round these parts.

    ZAK
    We will pay no more than one hundred apiece and we will take what you have.

    BUBBA
    Yeah, that's not gonna work for me.

    ZAK
    (waving his hand)
    You will accept this offer.

    BUBBA
    I'm gonna accept this offer.

    ZAK
    (keeping up the jedi mind trick)
    It is a very reasonable price.

    There is a pause as if it seems that either the mind trick is working directly or indirectly and Bubba is considering the opinion of the young Jedi. All eyes flash between Zak and Bubba who have yet to break eye contact from each other. Finally Bubba smirks.


    BUBBA
    Oh what the hell. One hundred it is.

    Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. And then, without warning Bubba reaches out with one hand and grabs Zak around the neck, pulling him in. With his other hand, he whips out a blaster rifle.
    Immediately, Jacen and crew draw their blasters, but even Doyle has his gun trained on them. Still, it's four on two if you count Ariela.


    BUBBA
    Of course, it'll cost another hundred to convince me of letting this little mind dweller loose.

    JACEN
    Are you completely out of your mind?

    BUBBA
    I must be out of somethin' because I could have sworn this boy just tried to force me into giving you my inventory against my free will.

    RYN
    Listen, man, you don't know what you're doing. Let the boy go and we'll bargain.

    BUBBA
    'Fraid the time for bargaining ended when you tried to usurp better judgement, chum.

    AOLA
    Captain?

    JACEN
    Bubba, let me tell you how this is going to go down...

    BUBBA
    No. You let me tell you how this is going to go down. You're going to put your blasters on the table and then you're going to turn your worthless hides for the door and I don't want to ever see you on this side of the fringe again.

    JACEN
    Listen, if this were any other time, I would burn you a new birth mark but right now we have a galaxy to save.

    BUBBA
    Seems like the only thing you got to save here is a pretty face full of somethin' we don't particularly care for around here. And your time's runnin' about as thin as the trade route.

    JACEN
    I'm gonna give you until the count of...

    Out of nowhere, Ariela lands in front of Bubba, lightsaber ignited. Her glowing blade hovers dangerously close to the big man's face, just enough to send the message.


    ARIELA
    One-fifty and you keep my brother. One-hundred and you let my brother go. Choice is yours. Either way, if we don't get the parts, I'm cutting off y/>
  8. JaxAnakinSkywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2006
    star 3
    This is the first time for me to read this... I like how it is turning out. The first post seemed a little rocky to me, but I like how it's working out... very nice..
  9. Darthtengence Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 6, 2005
    star 1
    Nice job i am glad that someone is taking initiative to start a fan film of new jedi order era. I have been trying to get my group to do one but the person that was going to write the screen play moved. I am in the Gainesville fan group if you want anyone to help i am sure that me and a few others would help if for nothing more that making props. Let me know.

    Jason aka Darth_Tengence
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