Title: Star Wars: The Parody Author: EmeraldJediFire Genere: Hurmor, parody Timeframe: FOTJ AU Summary: The Skywalkers and the Solos sit down to watch a holo parody of their early lives. Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, it is the property of Lucasfilms and subsequently....Disney (sounds so weird) Notes: Okay, this idea came to me when I was watching the documentary on Youtube ®, "When Star Wars Ruled the World". They of course mentioned "Spaceballs". This stems off of the idea. This will be AU stuff, including ALL the Solos and Skywalkers. Jacen, Mara and Anakin will be alive. (And Chewie) This will be around the time of 44 ABY, without the Sith Lost Tribe. Just purely AU. I will try not to play out every scene to the movie—but will do so if I find the parts interesting to the characters. This will probably be in parts since I don't think I can finish this in one sitting. . "So, what's this holo we've just got to see?" Han Solo inquired, looking to his youngest. "It's great. Right, Jacen?" Anakin Solo grinned in his brother's direction. "It's way funny." Jacen agreed. Leia Organa Solo looked at her daughter, Jaina. "Do you know anything about this?" Jaina shrugged. "Haven't a clue. This is news to me too." "Sooo, are we starting?" Han asked, settling in. "Not yet…the holo starts in five." Anakin looked toward the front door. "I hope they get here in time." They being the Skywalkers; Luke, Mara, and Ben. "Where's Chewie?" "Bedroom." Anakin answered. "Chewie, get out here, you big furry oaf!" Han hollered. The Wookie lumbered out, grumbling. Just then, the door-chime rang. "That's them!" Anakin announced excitedly. "I'll get it." Leia started to get up. "I'll get it, Mom." Jaina offered and headed for the door. "Are the snacks almost ready?" Leia asked. "Almost." Jacen responded, sticking his head in the kitchen. "I'll bring these chips out in the meantime." "They're here." Jaina announced, walking back in with the Skywalkers following her. "So, what's this thing you called us over for?" Mara asked curiously. "Apparently, the boys found a holo we just have to see." Her sister-in-law explained. "Have to? Luke interjected. "Apparently." Han shrugged his shoulder and sat down; digging into the chips Jacen had placed in front of him. Chewie lumbered over the family, making woofing sounds. Anakin shot them a glare. "Shh, it's starting soon." The Wookie slumped his shoulders, looking chastised by the young Solo. Only Anakin could do that. Ben sat down in a nearby chair. "Let's do it then." "Here it comes!" Leia looked at her eldest son. "Jacen, is that food ready. I'm starved." "Me too." Ben said. "I could eat." Mara snorted. "That's an understatement of the millennium." "Shhh!" "Right, holo." Han popped chips into his mouth, crunching them. "Shh!" Anakin shushed his father again. "Fine. I'll chew quieter." He mumbled moodily. Chewbacca woofed again. Han rolled his eyes. "No, I said chew, not Chewie." "Here it comes." "Comes what?" "The title crawl…" Jacen responded. "Would you two zip your traps?" Mara hissed."Some people would like to watch it." "You're the one talking now, Mom." Ben pointed out. Mara shot her son a deadly glare. Ben shrank back. Just then the title erupted on the screen, stars blanketing the background: SPACEBALLS "Spaceballs?!" The rest of the family announced—minus Jacen and Anakin. "Shhh." Text began to appear then scrolling down the screen, informing them of the general story line. "So these Spaceballs—that's a race?" "Bad guys." Anakin corrected. "Right, the baddies, these Spaceballs." "They're trying to take over the neighboring planet of Druidia." Jacen explained. "I see." Luke murmured. "Wait, a wedding?" Han muttered. "Yeah, Princess Vespa…" Just then the crew watched as a giant spaceship of some type dragged across the screen, it resembled a Star Destroyer—but it seemed to go on forever. "Is this going to end soon?" Mara asked, beginning to feel annoyed. Jacen and Anakin remained silent, smirking. They watched the ship pan across for at least a good three standard minutes. Finally, to their relief, the tail end of it, thrusters blazing, appeared. "Sith that was long." Mara let out a breath. "We break for nobody." Han said, reading the giant bumper sticker on the back of the ship. Mara wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Okay, this is already getting stupid. Anyone want a drink?" Several "yeses" chorused. "All right…I'll get some." She retreated into the kitchen "She's going to miss the best part." Anakin complained. Jacen put a finger up to his lips silently ordering his brother to remain quiet. The Skywalkers and Solos watched some trivial dialogue that seemed to be taking place on the bridge of the ridiculously long starship. The Spaceballs were approaching the planet of Druidia. No, they had reached it. Mara came back out, a tray in hand and began passing around the drinks. She eyed the screen, not sure what to make of it. "Make way for Dark Helmet!" A crewman on the screen announced. "Dark Helmet?" Mara echoed. She didn't like this. A short dark figured entered the shot, with a very familiar looking mask. Her eyes widened. Oh my stars… She almost dropped her tray. Her husband who was in the middle of taking a drink, spit out his juice. Chewie let out a menacing roar at the sight "Easy, Chewie!" Han jumped up to placate the Wookie. "Luke!" His sister yelped, seeing her brother's plight. "Are you all right?" She reached over to slap her brother on the back. Luke coughed a few times then fixed his eyes on the screen. "Dark Helmet?" His eyes widened. "That can't possibly be..." "Yup." Anakin said, trying to conceal a grin. "Anakin!" Leia chided. "I don't think is funny at all." "No, it is…just keep watching." Several moments had gone by which they had missed. They turned back to the holo. A man was being carried out by two other. The scene progressed on: Dark Helmet was speaking to an officer, Colonel Sanders about the planet of Druidia. They began the exposition of the plot further: apparently they were going to kidnap the Princess Vespa, in order to get her father to give them the codes to the airsheild which surrounded Druidia. "So, what happened to their air?" Mara asked, her brow furrowing. "It got drained." Anakin said. "How do you drain air?" Ben questioned. "That doesn't make sense." Anakin shrugged. "Okay, so how are they going to transport the air?" Mara inquired further. "Can't say." Jacen spoke this time. "That would be spoiler." "A what?" Luke turned to his nephew. Anakin clarified, "A spoiler. It's something that gives away a critical part to a holo movie or series." Mara said, "Oh." Luke grinned. His wife had been rendered practically speechless. "Wipe that smug grin off your face, Farmboy, before I do." After the scene had ended, it panned to a planet the crew suspected was Druidia. Then it showed a religious house of some sort with a sign outside saying: Today, the Wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium, Tomorrow Bingo Next, was the shot of the inside of the structure. A young brown-haired woman stood in a gorgeous white wedding gown, a bouquet in hand beside her stood a very important looking man. He appeared to be a king, as evidence by the crown on his head. "What is this?" Han demanded. Jacen smiled but relented. "Apparently it's a holo parody of your guys' story. Sort of." "Our story?" He echoed. "Yeah, you, Mom, and Uncle Luke. Sort of." "Sort of." Leia repeated. She stared at the young woman, realization dawning on her. "Is that supposed to be me?" "What gave it away?" Mara murmured sarcastically. "I think it might have been the buns." Jaina answered, curling her hair around and smashing it to the side of her head. "Leia, you're missing the show." Luke responded, his eyes were fixed on the screen. He had momentarily startled by Dark Helmet, the Darth Vader look-alike. Albeit Helmet was tiny in stature compared to the Dark Lord, and as an added gag he often showed his face. Heck, he even drank caf. "Luke, I can't believe you're interested in this!" He shrugged. "I suppose I should be angry...but what good would that do. Plus, I'd hate to go to the Darkside over something so…." Leia supplied, "Stupid." "Exactly." The rest of them turned back to the screen. "What happened?" Leia scrutinized it. "Apparently," Ben murmured. "Princess Vespa hightailed it out of there because she didn't love the prince. He was a pill." He laughed. "Literally." "Prince Valium." Jacen supplied. "I think its sleeping pill." "Yeah, the prince kept falling asleep." Ben chimed in. "So glad you find this humorous, Ben." Mara murmured dryly. "In fact, I can't believe your father is taking this so well." She looked to Luke. He was grinning. Mara turned back to the screen. An interior of some sort of ship. It was a ship right? Not any she'd ever seen. A big creature with floppy furry ears and tail was prancing around to music, a bucket of food in his arm. He had a large tail and had a human face. "Oh, no." "Don't tell me?" Han muttered. "Chewie. That's Chewie?" The Wookie roared in indignation "Yeah, I'm not too happy either, pal." He patted Chewie's arm sympathetically. Anakin was cracking a grin, finding this particularly hilarious. Another shot, a pilot in the "cockpit" of the ship. Chewbacca let out a bark which resembled laughter. "I think we found your double, Han." Leia spoke. Luke cocked his head. "Really? I don't see it. Han glared at Luke then Chewie. "Laugh it up, Fuzzball." He turned to Luke. "You too, Junior." What are you suppose to be? Chewie asked curiously. "Don't make me bring up that you look like a dog." The Wookie bared his fangs. "Yeah, yeah…" "Barf….Barf. BARFFFFFF!" Mara's face screwed up. "Barf?" She looked to her nephews. "Are you kidding me?" "Nope!" They answered. "This couldn't get any worse could it?" Leia murmured. Jacen said, "It could. It will." "Barf?" Luke echoed as if finally getting it. "Like…as in I'm going to?" "Uh-huh..." Luke made a face. "Okay, I think I'm going to be sick at that." "Not yet." Anakin shook his head. "That's coming up." ..