Star Wars Theme Park

Alright, a recent post of Jello's gave me a great idea. If the Star Wars characters opened up their own theme park, their own "Star Tours" version of Disneyland, what would be some of their attractions?

Yoda's A Small World After All It Is - Great fun for younglings of all ages, as the ride's theme song gets drilled into your head in over 6 million different languages, including bocci.

The Sith Lord's Duelling Pit - This ride comes in two different versions - the "Master" and the "Apprentice." The "Master" will terrify the Sith out of you as you get raised up by two arms and dropped a full 60 kilometers. The "Apprentice" is for those who have not fully embraced their inner dark side and only has a fall of forty stories.

The Gungan's Energy Ball Jump - An indoor tank filled with Gungan energy balls, grenadelike weapons which deliver a powerful electric charge.

Human Djerrik - Think you're a master of strategy? Try your hand at the life-size version of the popular game.

What are some others?

 

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How about: Ewok AT-ST Takeover! Hold on for dear life, as two Ewoks commandeer your walker, with no idea how to operate it!

 

Sabbac and Pazzak Fans of gambling get to play Sabbac or Pazzak. Dosen't matter your skill level. Only bets are on imaginary money (which you pay to get of course )

Just Like Begger's Canyon Back Home Try your piloting skills on the trecherous Begger's Canyon. *Secret Level* If you get high enough score, you go to fly in the Death Star trench!

War Games Try your tactical skills at this real time stratagy on taking over teh galaxy. Features include overall fleet stratagy, and randomly selected battles where you are in command. Can you become a Thrawn Level tactition?

Danger Sences Tingling Test your reaction time and dodgeing skills by playing this holographic game. First you have to dodge barrages of debris, with levels getting increasingly challenging. Andvance far enough and you can get to levels dodgeing stormtrooper blasts.

Astroid Chase Take this thrilling rollercoaster ride through our simulated asteroid feild. Complete with real holographic asteroids!!!

 

Bumper Bots Climb on in to the astromech of your choice and your race your buds around the arena. you can slam, crash, bang, and bump but remember please keep your arms, legs, and tentacles inside the droid at all times.

Pirates of the Corellian Sector Yo-Ho maties. and Welcome to the scariest ride this side of the core. jump on board sing the song of the great pirates of Old, Like Beard, Captain Hook, Talon Karde, and Booster Terrik.

 

Vader's Debris Dilemna You must navigate the long hallway as Darth Vader uses his mystical energy field to fling random large chunks of metal at you. Safety helmet and pads provided, waiver required. Can you make it through the large window exit in time before you get pummeled to death?

The Stormtrooper Dodge A ride specifically suited for the ol'e Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru in all of us. You must dodge the stormtrooper's blaster fire to make it off the ride. Of course, it's pretty easy for anyone to do, regardless of your age or physical health. They're not going to hit you anyway. Unless you actually happen to be Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

EDIT: Thrawn... Don't know where that came from. Stream-of-consciousness writing, I guess.

 

Uncle Owen, Genghis, Uncle Owen

 

Stormtrooper Target Practice: Hit Rebel targets with a stormtrooper blaster with a twisted barrel, guaranteed to give you the stormtrooper's 'famed' accuracy.

 

^^^^^

"Only Imperial Stormtroopers could be this persice!"

 

Oh crap! I didn't see that. Sorry man. Still, they could be two player games.

 

Flight of the Falcon A terrifying rollercoaster with voice overs from Han Solo. roll, drop, and climb through the Kessel Run, an Asteroid field, and get shot at by TIE fighters. Don't worry. They won't actually hit you... well, one in ten chance!

 

Mandalorian Boot Camp: Is little Timmy misbehaving? Is little Susie moping and complaining? Are you too weak and dishonorable to do anything about it? Drop em off at the Mandalorian Boot Camp and we'll have em shaped up for the rest of their godforsaken life.

 

The Mara Jade Day Spa: The patented anti aging processes will ensure you never look at day over 25!

Honey I Kidnapped the Kids: Follow the Solo children around the galaxy from captor to captor in 3D glory. Meet astounding numbers of incompetent Imperials and forgotten relatives!

Tantiss Mountain: Take a ride through the interior of the Emperor's private storehouse, attempting to escape the arrythmic core resonance through the twist and turns. Must be taller than a Noghri to ride.

 

Wookkiee Rope Ride Have you ever wanted to experience what Leia did when escaping from the Nogrhi with Chewbacca, well here's your chance! Includes a wookkiee to tie yourself onto and a platform miles in the air! Waiver required, not reponsible for limbs torn away by wookkiee.

 

intergalactic dodgeball This isn't no third grade dodgeball, here the dodging is extreme and the balls are on a Galactic scale. jump in and help the New Republic face off against the Yuuzhan Vong. "Chewie, Look out for the Moon!!!"

 

Trash Tromp: Jump in the compactor and take a swim with our friendly garbage beast, all those who escape before compacting ends will win a free Ewok beanie baby!

 

Cyborg Rescue Find and rescue Lieutenant Doctor Ton Phanan before he dies, and remember, those laser bolts are real!

Escape from Lusankya Follow Corran Horn on his escape from Lusankya, on completion you get a free jedi-meddalion with dead relatives image on it!

 

The Coruscant Tower of Terror: And you thought the one based on the Hollywood hotel was bad! Fifty years ago, the Coruscant Tower Hotel provided a temporary home to the weathiest, most famous politicians and performing divas. Then one night, a freak accident occured, sending two senators, a Corellian holonet star and her Sullustan companion to their graves. The techs have finally managed to repair the turbolift, but rumor has it that the spirits of those innocent dead still haunt the hotel. Step aboard, if you dare, and prepare for the ride of your life. Not recommended for the faint of heart or those with fear of heights. This drop is practically neverending.

 

Fey'lya Assasination You've wanted to rip his head off. You've wanted to rip the main character's heads off for not ripping his head off. Now's your chance to kill Bosk Fey'lya. Personaly. Fight your way past gaurds and security systems, to ass asinate the biggest ass in the universe. Be sure to kill him before he blows up the whole instalation!

 

Ebon Hawk's Aireal War Man the Ebon Hawk's two turbocannons to destroy multiple enemy fighters and small ships at the same time. co-op available.

Famous Battles Laser Tag Grab a laser blaster and right in to combat as you fight life-size recreations of famous battles like:

The Battle of Hoth
The Battle of Endor
Bespin Troubles
1st and 2nd battles of the Death Star.
AND MORE!!!

Life size vehicles and other weapons are available.

* On behalf of my master *

 

This Is Podracing: A high-speed go-kart ride on a dirt track in go-karts that are 1/4 scale podracers.

Mission: Endor: The worlds newest simulator, using the technology of Disney's Mission: Space. Feel the Lightspeed jump, then hang on for you life as you're thrown in the middle of the greatest space battle of all time!

 

Pirates of the Corellian Sector- "But do you recall, the most famous Pirate of allllll..." You left out SOlo...whats wrong wiht you.....


Korriban Temples of Doom You think That stupid Indian jones ride was bad...Booby traps and ancient sith force ghosts await you. Get past the manic droids and choose the right sword to get on to the final challenge. Get the engery rings changed in the right order to get a special suprise, then take on two of the oldest and most vicios (Oh crap...the things in the KotOR game..not Rancors....what were they called??) just to battle the most powerful sith force ghost known to man. Steal his saber and get ready for the ride of your life as you flee back ot the Ebon Hawk. Do not ride if you have heart or back trouble, weak blatter or fear of death...ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE.

 

This Is Podracing: A high-speed go-kart ride on a dirt track in go-karts that are 1/4 scale podracers.

So, life sized super bombad racing?

(Oh crap...the things in the KotOR game..not Rancors....what were they called??)

Terentateks, I believe.

 

Vergere's Mind-BenderBe strapped to a chair and have to listen to the mad ravings of a former Jedi. So scary not even a Solo came out unscathed! (requires parental permission or a foolish teenage death wish pact with your adolescent friends)

 

^^Thanks...

Luke and Leia's wild ride... Hop on a speeder bike and GO GO GO....Be sure to jam the commlinks and watch out for tree's. Don't worry about getting hit...they are ACTUAL Scout troopers on the bikes...and, if you fall of,Just head out the nearest exit and take a break on the...

The Ewoks Tree top Celebration. A giant outdoor revolving restraunt set during the Ewok celebration of the Imperial defeat. First, have fresh hanadak steak, followed by a live preformance of the Ewok band...using only traditional instruments and imperial helmets. After that...go participate in lukes burning of Anikin and pay your last respects. This is immediatly followed by fireworks (Ironic aintit.)

 

So, life sized super bombad racing?

Yes.

And it's not really a ride, but you'd find it at a park:

Jedi Council Burgers: Enjoy our world-famous Force Burgers in a dining room set up like the Jedi Council Room. Enjoy the breathtaking holigraphic 360 degree view of Courscant while you eat.