Story [Stargate Atlantis] realisations on the learning curve, beginning of season 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Stargate Atlantis.

Message for Jen: Don't be such a stranger, give me a call. I love you Sis!

Summary: My take on what happened after TRIO. This was written before the KINDRED came out so it may be considered as AU.

Realisations on the Learning Curve.

If he didn't know better he would have thought it was a date. For any other man an invite for a drink from a beautiful woman, given the insistence she had showed, would have meant exactly that. Yet, he knew the only offer was borne out of casual friendship with thought for comfort and the need to blow off steam.

She was right about him not being good at this. In his defence he had not had much practice in the friend's thing, at least not really. He realised he if he wasn't so hurt and tired he would not have admitted this out loud, he had a reputation to uphold after all.

So he found himself in the mess hall sharing a drink with Jennifer Keller and enjoying him self immensely. It was almost a relief to open up to his "friend", to talk about life in general with no fear of recriminations. He spoke of his discomfort about what had happened with Katie and how much he wished he could have been a better person. He talked of growing up as an outcast and how at first the arrogance he showed had come from the need to be right, the need to be better as having been a child genius he needed this to survive.

In turn he showed a surprising amount of empathy as he listened to Jennifer speak of similar experiences.

He listened to her express her fears about being CMO of Atlantis as she had never signed up for it, hadn't ever actually agreed to it. Yet, she was doing a stellar job. She was well liked and respected but she didn't seem to see it. She didn't realise how beautiful she really was and didn't understand how much she had come to mean to them in her time on Atlantis.

He felt almost relieved that he could make her feel better about her self. He also felt elated at his newfound friendship. The ease of conversation and laughter that flowed between them set the grapevine alight, he realised that it would but as it was him he found he didn't care.

He was not expecting the conversation to turn sombre again, he had not realised the extent of her insecurities; at least not until she started to talk about her experiences during the quarantine. He did know she had been with Ronon through from the beginning to the end. He had never known the big warrior to show embarrassment or restraint and he had shown both that evening. He had even gone as far as explaining about his life on Sateda with Melena and showed them that he had finally found some closure. McKay supposed if he was better at reading people he would have picked up on the cues and realised something had happened between them.

Still he wasn't completely shocked when she told him they had shared an intimate experience. He was however surprised when she told him she didn't know whether the Satedan was interested in her or whether it was just the situation that precipitated their exchange. So when he asked her if she had wanted to be his friend before today to which she answered with a shocked affirmation, clearly confused. He asked her gently if she was sure it was not the situation that precipitated her move.

She went quiet at that and explained her courage was magnified after the day and that is why she had the insisted on the drink but that she wanted to do so anyway. Jennifer seemed to understand what it was he was trying to say and just needed time to think.

In a moment of personal clarity he told her to get some sleep and to find Ronon the next day so they could work out where they both stand. For even he had noticed the Satedan was awkward whenever their resident CMO was around. If his friends could find some happiness in the bloody mess they had found themselves in he would do all he could to help them keep that. He would of course do nothing that seemed to be overtly nice or helpful as he knew his reputation would suffer for