Star's Worst Movies: Gary Oldman: Tiptoes (2004)

Brad Pitt: Cutting Class (1989)

[image=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/91/Cutting_Class_film_poster.jpg]

Costarring Donovan Leitch and Jill Schoelen

Tagline: ''Some people would kill to fit in''

"In 2001, we asked Brad Pitt which movie he would wipe off his résumé. Without pausing he said, ''I did a teen horror movie. I'll give you that one. It's called Cutting Class. Actually, I've never seen it.'' Well, we have ? and it's atrocious. Not just because Pitt was 25 when he starred in this teen-slasher dud as a horny high school jock who appears unable to dribble a basketball convincingly. And not because it's a whodunit where you know exactly who did it in the first five minutes. No, it's mostly ­because when Pitt winds up with his head clamped in a vise during the film's climax, the audience knows exactly how he feels."

Most Embarrassing Moment Pitt dresses in one of his ­girlfriend's father's suits and tells her that while her dad is bigger than he is, he's bigger ''where it really counts.''

 

They chose wisely!

 

Yup, they did.

Gywneth Paltrow: Hush (1998)

[image=http://www.covershut.com/cd_covers/Hush-1998-WS-Cd-Cover-6434.jpg]

Costarring Jessica Lange and Johnathon Schaech

Tagline: ''Don't breathe a word''

"The same year she? delivered her Oscar-­winning performance in Shakespeare in Love, Paltrow popped up in this absurd thriller about a newlywed's relationship with her possessive horse-­breeding mother-in-law (played by Jessica Lange, doing her best Norma Desmond drag-queen ­impression). Lange's past-her-prime Kentucky belle is so ­over-the-top she gnaws on the scenery like chewing tobacco. ­Unfortunately, all the lost-looking Paltrow can do is look blond and ­terrified."

Most Embarrassing ­Moment Lange slips a drug ­designed to induce premature labor in horses into ­Paltrow's dessert."

 

Haven't seen Hush. Of those I have seen I would probably go with Shallow Hal.

 

Hush is silly, but it's not awful or anything.

 

OH god for Brad Pitt it has to be COOL WORLD. Seriously, has anyone seen that thing? Nothing can top that! Probably the worst movie i've ever paid money to see in the theatre.

For Paltrow: Gosh that one it is hard to say. Have never really been a huge fan of hers, and have always found her overrated. Tend to avoid her films as a survival instinct.

I'll say "A Perfect Murder" just because you should never touch Hitchcock.

 

I also consider Cool World my worst movie I ever paid money for. They were trying to come up with an "adult" version of Roger Rabbit and failed miserably. Not only Brad's worst, but also Gabriel Byrne AND Kim Basinger's worst.

I will say the soundtrack isn't bad though.

 

Ryan Reynolds: Coming Soon (2000)

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Costarring Gaby Hoffmann and Spalding Gray
Tagline: ''You'll want what she's having''

"It must have sounded like a ­recipe for box office gold:? a raunchy American Pie ­knockoff, told from the ­female perspective. ­Ka-ching! But poor ­Reynolds looks like he'd rather be anywhere but this movie, in which he plays an ­Upper East Side trust-fund rebel trying to come across as a ­sensitive misfit. Sadly, Reynolds' wispy facial hair gets to show more range than he does ? it literally changes shape from scene to scene, ­going from soul patch to full-on Vandyke. At one point, a swooning ­female admirer looks at him dreamily and sighs, ''So Emilio ­Estevez!'' This is? meant as a compliment.

Most ­Embarrassing Moment ­Reynolds ? on stage with his emo band, Oedipus Wreck ? dedicates a song called ?''Love a Woman'' to the girl he can't have."

Ryan Reynolds is a star? News to me.

 

I haven't seen this movie, but find it hard to believe it's worse than Blade Trinity.

Or, for that matter, Green Lantern or the Van Wilder sequel he starred in.

 

It's a shame about Green Lantern because there is so much potential there, and Ryan is a very charismatic actor, and with Martin Campbell at the helm you might think a high quality film would result. But while to doesn't quite hang together (the dull lead actress is especially to blame, IMO), it's not nearly as bad as fans and critics have made it out to be. IMHO.

 

Worst movies? What are the good ones first?

 

For Reynolds? Buried was pretty good. Adventureland was okay. Smokin' Aces was fun.

 

Daniel Craig: A Kid in King Arthur's Court (1995)

[image=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/33/Kid_in_king_arthurs_court_poster.jpg]

Costarring Thomas Ian Nicholas and Kate Winslet

Tagline: ''Joust do it''

"Back when Pierce ­Brosnan began ­sporting the James Bond tux, Craig paid his dues as the ­chivalrous Master Kane in this Disney kiddie flick about an awkward 14-year-old Little Leaguer (American Pie's ­Nicholas) who is magically ­transported back in time to the medieval days of Camelot. Craig plays the film's Mr. Miyagi mentor character, teaching the nerdy lad from the ­future about archery and jousting. Come to think of it, he's not unlike 007's Q.
Most Embarrassing ­Moment It's hard to take Craig ­seriously as he hits on Winslet's ­hot-to-trot Princess Sarah while wearing snug Robin Hood leggings."

 

Megan Fox: Holiday in the Sun (2001)

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Costarring Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen

Tagline: ''Filmed at the Bahamas''

"You've got to admire Megan Fox's rise. She came out of ­nowhere and became a household name just by wearing a skimpy tank top in Transformers. Of course, no one ever truly comes from nowhere. As proof, check out this mind-numbing Bahamas-set Olsen twins romp. Fox plays an eye-rolling rich bitch named Brianna who tries to steal a ­vacationing ­Ashley's man, ­Jordan. And as we all know, no one steals ­Ashley's man! Even at age 15, Fox was confident enough in her sexuality to effectively ­deliver this line when a teen ­Romeo approaches her by saying, ''What's up?'' Her response: ''Not my temperature.'' Ouch! When EW asked Fox about this film back in 2009, she said, ''I had no idea what I was ­doing; I'd never taken an acting lesson.'' Asked if she'd seen the film recently, she replied, ''Oh, f---, no! I would kill myself.''
Most Embarrassing ­Moment Fox threatens Ashley: ''I get what I want. And this winter break, I want Jordan.''

 

Boy Daniel Craig had some real stinkers. THE INVASION, LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER, COWBOYS AND ALIENS. Yikes.

Megan Fox? Has she been in a good movie?

 

Yeah, uh. This was a joke obviously. She literally has never been in a good movie.

Megan Fox...

 

It's hard to have a good movie when you can't act. Fox will always have pointless roles in largely pointless movies because she is a rather pointless "actress"

 

Ahem...not pointless at all.

George Clooney: Red Surf (1990)

Costarring Doug Savant, Dedee Pfeiffer, and Gene Simmons

Tagline: ''Staying alive is only half the battle''

Original poster: [image=http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTk3NzQ5Mjc0OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMjkzOTg5._V1._SX96_SY150_.jpg]

The current poster has Clooney in giant head shot looking much as he does now.

"We've always admired ­Clooney because he's so up-front about his failures, whether it's baroque, big-­budget trash like Batman & Robin or this limp Point Break precursor, which finds him ­playing a jet-ski-riding, ponytailed coke dealer who ­battles barrio homeboys on both surf and turf. ''I've done some bad jobs along the way,'' he admitted to EW in 1999. ''But you've got to do them. The Facts of Lifes, the Baby Talks, the Red Surfs. When you're starting out, those are big breaks.'' (He left out Return of the Killer Tomatoes). And if you've ever wanted to see Clooney go head-to-head with KISS ­frontman Gene Simmons on film, your wish is now granted. An interesting footnote: ­Clooney's love interest in the film is Dedee Pfeiffer, real-life sister of his One Fine Day ­romantic ­costar, Michelle. Wonder if this ever comes up at the Pfeiffer Thanksgiving ­table?"

Most ­Embarrassing ­Moment Savant (Melrose Place) somewhat erotically snorts coke off Clooney's lap as he's driving a Jeep in a Guns N' Roses T-shirt.

 

He was in something worse than Batman and Robin?

 

You say that as if Batman & Robin isn't his best work.

 

Yeah, Batman & Robin and Return to Horror High must both be worse than Red Surf.

 

Without a doubt, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH.

Not only is George Clooney's shaggy-haired performance near-undecipherable, but the entire film is
beyond the pale: cheap sets so heavily dressed with smoke that they appear to be on fire, a script so
inane as to be bordering on gibberish -- the list is almost endless. Still, Clooney's meandering work
is left in the shadows compared to the almost hysterical babbling of Maureen 'Brady Bunch' McCormick.
A manic and all-too-obviously coked-up Marcia races through her lines, occasionally squeezing her breasts
when she wants to add particular emphasis along with her already frenetic, twisted facial expressions.

In other words, a must-see.

 

Jake Gyllenhaal: Highway (2002)

Costarring Jared Leto and Selma Blair

Tagline: ''It started as a desperate ?escape and became the ?wildest ride of their lives''

"Here's a movie that wanted to be the Bill and Ted's of the grunge generation. Released between Gyllenhaal's emergence as an indie poster boy in? Donnie Darko and his Brokeback Mountain Oscar nod, this ­angsty flannel-clad road movie pairs a mohawked Leto with a drug-dealing Gyllenhaal as two dim-bulb Gen-X knuckleheads on the run from gangsters. By the end, you're rooting for the gangsters.

Most Embarrassing Moment Gyllenhaal gets beaten up by frat boys while defending a freak-show attraction named Alligator Boy.

 

Matthew McConaughey: Surfer, Dude (2008)

Costarring Woody Harrelson and Willie Nelson

Tagline: ''Love and waves, that's what we need in these dark days''

"The title's curious punctuation aside, this stoner comedy features a so-mellow-he's-comatose McConaughey as a shirtless, weed-­smoking surfer (natch!). The actor's $6 million passion project was a gnarly wipeout. Dude earned a 0 percent on Rotten Tomatoes (yes, that's out of a possible 100) and grossed $52,132 in theaters. Talk about a bad hit of weed comma dude.

Most Embarrassing Moment McConaughey plays a didgeridoo naked."

That *is* embarrassing.