Saga starwars clone campains

heres a story i just wrote!
what do you guys think of it?

main charecters:
plo koon, ki adi mundi, shaak ti, kit fisto.

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

STARWARS

it is a time of feirce conflict in the galaxy.
the republic continues to beat back the seperatist
armies.
although slowly dwindling the jedi have managed to extreamly damage the confederacy of independant systems.

jedi master yoda has sent a group of high council members to take out a seperatist fleet in orbit around the krydun system...

scene 1:

a massive republic flag ship releases 12 jedi starfighters and about 3 dozen clone fighter escorts with 5 clone infantry transports.

ki adi mundi: ok lets move out into attack postures.

plo koon: ok all clone fighters aim for their
fighters when they come out of light speed.

shaak ti: ok lets go into attack positions

just as the jedi change to attack positions a small fleet of ships exites hyperspace and imeadiatly fires upon the republic forces.

clone 1: attack their flag ships.

jedi 1: watch out kit fisto you have one on your tail!

kit fisto: pick him off for us would you?

jedi 1: ok!!!

the jedi sends one single blast at the droid fighter destroying it.

kit: thanks furham pind!

jedi 2: the second flag ship is deploying its fighters!

jedi 3: im caught in the cross fire help! BANG!

jedi 2: dam!

ki adi mundi: im gonna destroy the sheild generator on the capital ship!

ki adi mundi then swoops down and flies along just skimming the surface of the capital ship firing a massive barrage of missiles and blasts at the sheild generator.it explodes and mundi darts straight through the massive ball of flames.
he looks back at the shieldless craft been blown apart by clone bomber fighters. the capital ship then explodes.

ki adi mundi smiles and slouches in a relaxed posture...BANG!
mundi is then hit sent spiraling in a ball of flames into the republic capital ships main command bridge.

kit fisto: master yoda we have lost master ki adi mundi...

yoda over holo message: a fine jedi he was...now part of the force he has become like many of us have in this battle...

plo koon: we have disabled a flag ship holding rune haako a senior member of the trade federation.

shaak ti: ha ha ha! at last we have someone to interorgate!

kit: yes he could reveal the location of the last main CIS stronghold!

jedi 1: the droid fleet is in full retreat...

plo koon: all craft persue the seperatists and finish them...

episode 2 concludes tommorow!
what do you guys think of it?