Before Sticking Our Neks Out (487 BBY; OCs, Yoda, etc.; updated 9/28)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Onderon1, Sep 7, 2011.

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  1. Onderon1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2008
    star 4
    A/N: After far too long, I decided to follow up on Up To Our Neks, the story of Donal Milthiad, one of the more ... eclectic Jedi of the Golden Age of the Republic, and his unique circle of family and friends. :p The first story can be found here: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30525047/r30641234/

    DISCLAIMER: LFL's are LFL's. OCs are their own. This is a work of fiction. No money is being made off of this. Please don't sue. [face_peace]

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    Chapter 1: 487 BBY: Hutuun's Bane, Mid-Levels, Coruscant,
    Core Worlds:
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Chaar Varnas, proprietor of one of the few Mando-centric cantinas on what had once been the birthplace of the Taungs - the spiritual ancestors of the modern Mandalorians - looked up from where he was washing glasses. Usually, he'd have his daughter Breni or son Yamar do the work, but the adike were busy with homework.

    Well, OK, it was target practice. But if Chaar was going to have to raise his family on Coruscanta, he was going to be a good Mando buir about it.

    And speaking of family, the middle-aged human man thought, nodding as his nephew, Donal Milthiad, walked in ... with that look.

    It was the same look that Chaar's big sister, Redona - Donal's mother, and a formidable bounty hunter - got when she wanted to practice clan-traditional interrogation methods on some shabuir who deserved it. Don'ika was having a bad day, and Chaar reached for the tihaar on the bar.

    His nephew held up a hand, though, finding a seat at the bar while the fluorescents glinted off of Donal's short, spiky reddish-brown hair and usually-laughing brown eyes. "Something less liver-murdering, Ba'vodu. I need my wits about me - got to figure out how to break some hard news to Buir," Donal said, grimly, using the Mando'a word for uncle.

    Not even a wisecrack. Shab, this isn't good. Something happen to Dierna or the ik'aad she's carrying? Chaar worried, his eyes darting to someone else who was entering the empty cantina.

    The bartender raised an eyebrow, nodding politely as a human boy about 11 or 12 standard years, with blue eyes and sandy-blond hair buzzed short save for a Padawan's braid, followed Donal into the cantina. Tiegan. Donal's apprentice, Chaar recalled, smiling kindly when the kad'ika bowed respectfully, then sat beside Donal.

    "Little young for an establishment like this, aren't you, lad?" Chaar gently teased. Although Donal had only met Tiegan Ormbin a few days earlier, the two had quickly bonded during a mission to stop Donal's snobby chakaar of a brother-in-law, Istlan D'arsan. A human from the Outer Rim world of Desevro, Istlan had been exposed as the mastermind of a plot to smuggle tuk'atas from old Sith worlds to fight in gladiatorial arenas across the galaxy.

    The whole business had, as many of Donal's Jedi missions tended to do, spiraled rapidly out of control. Istlan had nearly unleashing a massive dark-side nexus on an island near Maslovar, the capitol city of Desevro in the Tion Hegemony. After that near-disaster, Donal's wife, Dierna D'arsan-Milthiad, had managed to embarrass Istlan before the Desevrans' Bureaugarchy, the sort-of-legislative body made up of the leaders of Desevro's 37 Families of nobility. The good news had been that Dierna was pregnant, and the last Chaar had heard, Redona had been planning a massive party.

    Donal, though, looked like someone had run him over with his own speeder bike, the Leash Breaker. Tiegan glanced at his Jedi Master, and Chaar took a moment to memorize the boy's face - he'd probably be seeing the kad'ika often enough for the next few years when Donal visited.

    Could swear I've seen ... no. Can't be, Chaar thought, blinking as he remembered whom Tiegan reminded him of.

    Tiegan gulped, but Donal finally smirked - a harsher version of h
  2. Chilla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Onderon, we meet again! [face_peace] (Heck, I'm beginning to feel like a stalker...)


    Usually, he'd have his daughter Breni or son Yamar do the work, but the adike were busy with homework.

    Well, OK, it was target practice.


    [face_laugh] I was like "Homework? :eek: Mandalorian kids doing something as ordinary as homework?". [face_laugh] Target practice sounds very Mandalorian to me.


    It was the same look that Chaar's big sister, Redona - Donal's mother, and a formidable bounty hunter - got when she wanted to practice clan-traditional interrogation methods on some shabuir who deserved it.


    Ouch. Those interrogation techniques sound nasty.

    Don'ika was having a bad day, and Chaar reached for the tihaar on the bar.

    *chuckles* I'm glad I read "Up to your Neks" first. Now I can appreciate Chaar's reaction and laugh about it.

    "Little young for an establishment like this, aren't you, lad?" Chaar gently teased.


    Well, that depends on the Coruscanti laws on drinking age and if those below it are allowed to enter bars where alcohol is served.... *rambles*

    Nice to see how everyone in Donal's family is giving Tieg a warm welcome, though! :)

    "Then again, I didn't catch on until after we got back from Desevro. Tiegan's my half-brother, by way of Dad. Which is why I'm trying to figure out how to tell Mom the news."

    Oh, shab, Chaar thought, trying not to snarl at the implication.


    Yepp, shab. Redona is gonna go crazy.....

    He glanced again over his shoulder at Tiegan, then squinted - something about the boy's chin and nose ... Marnis was obvious in the boy's eyes and hair color, but there was something else ...

    :eek: Interesting that Chaar recognizes someone it Tieg....

    "I ... had a vision, Mr. Varnas, when I held Master Marnis' - uhm, Father's - lightsaber. I ... Master - er, Donal - and I think ..." Tiegan said, glancing at Donal for permission to continue.

    That must be so confusing for Tieg, suddenly realizing his master is his brother and his master's master had been his father....and he has more family members now, too. He'll need some time to sort it out.

    "Shab. Don'ika - but why the osik wouldn't Marnis resurface?" Chaar asked, unable to keep a little anger out of his voice.


    THAT is the big question, isn't it? Afraid of Redona's wrath? :p

    "Maybe he is dead, but I'm not going to stop until I get the truth. Mom deserves that much," Donal insisted.


    Yes! I applaud his decision.

    He glanced meaningfully at a corner of the cantina, and Donal stood, following Chaar over to the corner after giving Tiegan some kind of task to do involving a datapad. The boy glanced at them, then went back to his chore - he might be young, but he wasn't stupid, Chaar thought.

    I really like how smart Tieg is.

    "But there's also Varnas features - subtle - in Tiegan's face. We need to find out what's going on before we upset your mother's world."

    :eek: Did I get it right? So Tieg is only Donal's half-brother. They share the same father. Yet is seems that Tieg's mother and Donal's mother are related? :eek: [face_thinking]


    Yay, the sequel! And once again, a great cliffhanger. :p

    Now, do you happen to have a PM list? [face_batting] :D

    I look forward to seeing how this will develope. And I'm super happy to have found a fanfic that uses Mando'a. [face_love] I love that language. Karen Traviss really messed me up when I read her Republic Commando books. Now all I can think of is how cool Mandalorian Jedi would be.... 8-} :D And now I have found a fanfic with one in it!!! [face_blush] :p

    =D=
  3. Onderon1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2008
    star 4
    Thanks for reading. :D I appreciate the feedback. :)

    There'll be more about the Varnas side of Donal's family in this 'fic than there was in Up To Our Neks. As a descendant of Canderous, Donal has quite a few relatives. [face_mischief]

    And Redona can be very unpleasant to cross. This'll all remain within TOS, though. [face_peace]

    Ironically, I never actually wrote a scene in Up To Our Neks where Donal got drunk - just the aftermath of one of his binges. That might be a good thing, though. :p

    Chaar's bar serves food, too, so Tiegan's probably OK to be in there. And Mandalorians are actually quite welcoming people, if you're on their good side. :D

    Redona's reaction might not be what everybody's expecting - but somebody's going to be in trouble, to be sure. :oops:

    It won't be Tiegan, though. He's about to learn that he has a much larger family than he ever realized. :D

    Donal tries to do the right thing, to be sure. The Force just seems to try and get in the way, though.

    As far as Donal and Tiegan know, they're half-brothers. The exact truth, however, is a little more complex - and ties into whatever happened to Torman Marnis. [face_thinking]

    I'll make sure to add you to it. :)

    Thanks for reading, [face_peace]
    Onderon1
  4. Onderon1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2008
    star 4
    A/N: Ah ... yeah. Updating this ... [face_blush]

    And - introducing one of the villains ... this is dark in spots. Just FYI. [face_peace]

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    Chapter 2: 487 BBY: Arkania, Colonies Region:
    -------------------------------------------------

    The biospheric dome was kept just warm enough to sustain most organic life - warmer than the Arkanian tundra outside, to be sure, but not at a temperature that most beings would consider comfortable.

    For Markes Vaskad, it wasn't particularly an issue. His beskar'gam was vacuum-proofed, so temperature extremes were hardly troublesome. Lighting was a bigger issue for the Arkanian, since his eyes were sensitive to infrared light, but the visor in his buy'ce could compensate.

    The white-haired, tan-skinned near-human sniffed contemptuously as the lab airlock cycled, and he removed his helmet. Markes refused to succumb to something as petty as biological light-sensitivity. He was tough.

    And he was sneaky, also. One didn't claim a suit of the legendary Mandalorian armor without either being raised Mando, or killing one of the warriors - and the latter was tricky, at best. Markes had claimed his blue-green suit of armor by slipping a fast-acting poison into his prisoner's mug of ale at a bar on Null about 15 standard years earlier.

    I can admire Mandalorian resilience while taking advantage of their occasional lack of perspective. It doesn't mean I have to be Mandalorian, Markes thought, smiling darkly for a moment before rubbing the vertical scar that ran down his left cheek. He didn't frown or sigh, just shrugged, and acknowledged the scar - such marks were part of the price of surviving.

    Any life-form that manages to persist pays a price. First rule of biology. You raise children? You're statistically more likely to die younger because you put so much effort into siring a new generation. You beat a disease? Expect to have flare-ups now and again from viral packets left over in your immune system. I'm still breathing, even after ... heh, Markes thought, allowing himself a dark chuckle under his breath.

    By the time the airlock had finished opening, he suppressed the amusement. The lab assistants couldn't be allowed to see his emotions - they were mostly droids, to be sure, but some were Arkanian Offshoots, the shorter-lived gene-spliced variants of Markes' species. "Dr. Semkar," after all, was above such petty things as emotions, or at least he was supposed to be - even if the reportedly respectable geneticist was known for eccentricities like wearing Mandalorian armor.

    "Doctor. The latest round of clones are showing better signs of stability," one of the Offshoots, a young woman named Halera, said, giving Markes a respectful bow. She presented him a datapad, and Markes nodded, glancing at the clone vats while hiding his disappointment.

    The clones were all stable, true. But some were deformed, and none of the assessment scans showed signs of viability beyond the clones' accelerated adulthood. The boon - and curse - of working with human genetics was that for every step forward in pushing evolutionary frontiers, there was a risk of causing some baneful, maybe even lethal, mutation. One couldn't just tweak an allele blindly and then act surprised when the organism's phenotype went wildly off course.

    "There are some steps forward, to be true. Let's proceed with Stage 3 acceleration and see where it gets us," Markes ordered, and Halera moved to obey - well, by a step or two.

    She looked over her shoulder, and Markes repressed a sigh as he gave her his standard reply to what he knew she was going to ask. "No, Halera, a second set of eyes on the source DNA will not help. I've sequenced it myself, and I'll resequence it. Again. But thank you," Markes said, with just enough emphasis on his forced dismissal to send the woman moving to obey him.

    She means well. But she has ethics, and ... well ... vengeance is not for the squeamish, Marke
  5. Chilla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Ondi'ka, what an absolutely amazing update! :eek: =D=

    I'm trying to calm down enough to give you a somewhat coherent reply...

    He was tough.

    [face_laugh] Some men just seem to need to prove that at every opportunity.

    And he was sneaky, also. One didn't claim a suit of the legendary Mandalorian armor without either being raised Mando, or killing one of the warriors - and the latter was tricky, at best. Markes had claimed his blue-green suit of armor by slipping a fast-acting poison into his prisoner's mug of ale at a bar on Null about 15 standard years earlier.


    Woah, what a sneaky bas-...ehem. [face_blush] Seems very cowardly to me.

    So...did he steal Torman Marnis' armor?

    "Dr. Semkar," after all, was above such petty things as emotions, or at least he was supposed to be - even if the reportedly respectable geneticist was known for eccentricities like wearing Mandalorian armor.

    I have to say that's one heck of a scary villian!

    The clones were all stable, true. But some were deformed, and none of the assessment scans showed signs of viability beyond the clones' accelerated adulthood. The boon - and curse - of working with human genetics was that for every step forward in pushing evolutionary frontiers, there was a risk of causing some baneful, maybe even lethal, mutation. One couldn't just tweak an allele blindly and then act surprised when the organism's phenotype went wildly off course.

    Whatever he is doing, I'm glad it's not working!

    It was, as far as cells went, somewhat comfortable; a privacy-screened refresher and sink, a cot that was more than a slab with two chains holding it to the wall, even a Holonet receiver. The subject held out a bare hand, his dull grey coverall a bland counterpart to his shaggy blond hair, and he stared with dull blue eyes as Markes took a sample of tissue.

    That does explain why Torman Marnis never came back. :(

    The subject chuckled, that damnably mocking sneer still on his face as he rasped, "Beat ... you."

    The exchange between those two was excellent! =D=

    "Gilt. That Iktotchi vermin survived and took my greatest triumph back to the Jedi."


    I'm trying to discover what he means by "greatest triumph".

    "Nobody compares me to that petty Zeltron carver of flesh, jetii fool. I am an artist," the Arkanian spat, setting his subject back on the bunk.

    Isn't that what a lot of psychopaths say? o_O

    Subjects Bacta and Cresh ... alive. And they KNOW each other. And Milthiad's apparently training the boy ... this is a DISASTER, Markes thought, trying to use his Arkanian intelligence to get a few steps ahead of his foes.

    So Donal and Tiegan are Subjects Bacta and Cresh?

    Clan Varnas will be on watch over the boy, given that he's a relative of Milthiad's through 'adoption' - and, of course, blood. I need more subtlety to kill Redona and reclaim the boy, but I need to move fast. Otherwise, Redona and her relatives will learn the truth ... and that I cannot allow, Markes considered.

    :eek: No, don't kill Redona!!! She's awesome!
    Reclaim...so he had the boy already. But Tiegan doesn't remember.

    This is so intriguing. I wonder what the connection between Tiegan and Markes is. You're doing an excellent job of keeping a reader on his/her toes and guessing!

    "All right, children. Let's see how you respond when a member of Clan Reau goes after the Grand Master of the Jedi Order," Markes said, chuckling softly.

    :eek: This story is picking up pace very fast! I'm hoping he won't get to the Caamasi, but then again....that would explain how Yoda became Grand Master.


    [face_dancing] =D=
    A
    w
    e
    s
    o
    m
    e
    !



    Did I mention that it was awesome?
  6. Onderon1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2008
    star 4
    Chilla - Thanks. :D This was a tricky one to write, trying to establish the villain without going into unnecessary detail. [face_peace]

    Markes has the Arkanian tendency to be arrogant, but he's also dangerously smart. If he can't take a target in a straight-up fight, then he'll find their weaknesses and exploit those.

    The armor isn't Torman's - there's another prisoner I've yet to reveal, someone who may make Clan Varnas pursue an unexpected alliance with their rivals. [face_thinking]

    What Markes is doing - or trying to do - is both unethical and downright psychotic. Much like him. [face_worried]

    I will say this - I'm making sure this isn't a rehash of The Force Unleashed II. Those clones aren't of Torman, but incorporate part of his genetic makeup. As to whose clones they are ... more on that as the 'fic goes on.

    (nods) Arkanians are used to cold temperatures, although they're not especially adapted to them, thus the domes on their adopted homeworld.

    And thanks. [face_blush] I was aiming for the idea that Torman's still not going to give up, and that Markes may not be entirely monstrous - he's at least letting Torman get a sense of the outside galaxy, via the Holonet. [face_thinking]

    Or maybe Markes is just sadistic. [face_worried] He has what he believes is a legitimate issue with Torman's family ... or maybe, issues.

    int: Torman isn't the only member of the Marnis clan who's crossed swords with the crazy Arkanian. [face_whistling]

    Tiegan is, in Markes' eyes, his greatest triumph - more on this as things progress and I get into the flashbacks for this story.

    And Tiegan is Subject Cresh ... but Donal's not Subject Bacta. That designation belongs to someone else. [face_whistling]

    Redona's not going anywhere. :D [face_peace] Except to Arkania when the puzzle pieces fit into place ... ;)

    The basics of Tiegan's origin will be explained soon, probably within the next few chapters. The details, however, will be a bit further down the line ... and lead into the big confrontation with Markes.

    And thanks again. :D This one won't be quite so convoluted as Neks was, but there's a fair amount of backstory - there'll be more details on Torman and Redona's courtship, Donal's "missing five years" between his Knighting and the start of Up To Our Neks, and more info on Riedis Gilt, Torman's Iktotchi Jedi Master.

    Thanks for all the feedback. :D We'll see just what Grand Master O'val's fate will be fairly soon. :)

    - Thanks again,
    Onderon1
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